Welcome To My Twisted Womb

mammon/ chaotic evil / 17 / male(he/him or it/its) / white/ablebodied/autistic/pan

[11100111000]

No Children // The Mountain Goats

[ratgram-blog]

me: cannot understand at least half of what people are saying, mishears everything if it's heard at all, constructs reactions based on body language alone

me: ears finely tuned to the horrible buzz of a house fly in another room

[halfmoon-girl-deactivated201605]

[coolhandofagirl-deactivated2015]

security called me at work today and told me they saw me outside chasing a frog around on the security cameras. i wasnt in trouble they just wanted to let me know they saw me. i didn’t catch him.

[dajo42]

when you get annoyed by the sound of people eating

[heckbabe-deactivated20130531]

[midnightmemoriesmp3-deactivated]

[bidoof]

this man will protect your computer

[pyronoid-d-deactivated20181217]

He stands behind you and slaps your hand away from the mouse if you’re gonna click a malicious link

[emery-ampora]

[4444x4444-deactivated20180313]

[imacatwoofwoof-blog]

[nicksdeadwife]

im crying i found this layton keychain on amazon and one of the reviews just said

[qozxe]

i lied here’s more. i bet ichimatsu hates mondays

[sportmuscles]

i just googled some facts about worms and they are apparently 1000 times stronger than humans 

[sportmuscles]

i read it wrong this isnt true 

[thexfiles]

teachers!!! stop fucking making gay marriage and lgbt rights a “fun” debate topic and pretending like there aren’t actual non-straight, non-cis kids in your class that are directly affected by this shit!! like while yall are having fun flexing your fuckin debate skills we are actually getting assaulted and murdered for this shit but whatever! have ur fun!

[therealraewest]

“Hey kids as a fun exercise let’s see how many of your peers hate you for existing.”

[dongstomper-deactivated20161230]

psychic: *reads my mind*

me:

[vainaja]