starrysage

[monster1994]

happy june everybody i hope you get fucked and/or sucked this month

[kazokuhouou]

what if we don't wanna be?

[monster1994]

then i hope for peace

[koiagain]

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[malicious-code-103]

Personally if Alastor appeared in my house id be more confused than scared. And wonder if the skinny guy slipped through the keyhole when I wasn't looking

[ravenclawscanbedumb2]

Fully believe that with a little southern hospitality he would fully leave me alone. Maybe drop a dead bird on the porch every once in a while

[writingdose]

“a scientist will see a mouse and say put that beast in a situation” ok a fanfic writer will see a blorbo and say put that man in a situation

[fruitviking]

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.

[sisyphusshrugged]

having a hard time focusing today. i've also had a hard time focusing for the previous 15 or so years leading up to now but this post is about today.

[nihilnovisubsole]

me explaining goncharov to my mother: so tumblr made up this scorsese crime film and they're arguing about its themes and-

my mother, completely deadpan: well are they reviewing the theatrical release or director's cut.

me:

my mother: what does frances ford coppola think of it

[dancinbutterfly]

Your mother is the only one who understands me

[vodkassassin]

op i think your mom watched goncharov in theaters when it first released

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

cats will be sitting there next to a full bowl of food looking at you like "perchance if thou will grant me the smallest morsel of sustenance I may yet survive the cruelty of this cold night"

[dragon-in-a-fez]

fun thing I said today that I wanted to document:

"I don't want to cook my chickens before they're hatched. wait. wait that's not the phrase is it. cooking your chickens before they hatch is just eggs. eggs is normal I think."

I really want to put the phrase "eggs is normal I think" on something now but idk what

[dragon-in-a-fez]

tumblr should add a "what the fuck are you talking about" button alongside reply, like, and reblog. you click the what the fuck are you talking about button when op is on some discourse they brought back from another reality that no one on this earth has ever heard of. and if a post gets more what the fuck are you talking abouts than reblogs op gets muted for 12 hours

[what-even-is-thiss]

Every once in a while I’m like “hm I think I’m due for a panic attack” and then I get a panic attack like the same day. Either I’m summoning them by thinking about it or I can smell them on the wind and it’s impossible to tell which tbh

[halondrus]

[cutecipher]

can you put that thing on a leash?

[halondrus]

ok

[my-dailydreams]

[sunshinetomorrow]

hey there, you've arrived at a Tumblr checkpoint!

are you thirty? have a sip!

are you hungry? have a spack!

have you been snitting in the sale proclation? mack your tabbers!.

are you stick? purt your indies!

do you need to prot a buntle? go! now!

are you tired? break your togs!

do a quick snat of your vitals. are you fond? do you need to reduct your plandles? if you have a trick, tog it. if you need to sitch, go so.

are you grod or too trinking? if you need to break off a grint or mend the bontle, go to that now!

I hope this helps! and I hope your tunderfal day :-)

[alphabetizing-posts]

a a a a a a a and

are are are are are are

arrived at been bontle, break break

buntle? checkpoint! day do do do fond? go! go go grint

grod have have have have helps!

hey hope hope hungry? I I if if if

in indies! it. mack mend need

need need need now! now! of off or or plandles? proclation? prot purt quick reduct sale sip! sitch, snat snitting so. spack! stick? tabbers!. that the the there, thirty? this tired?

trick, trinking? to to to to to tog togs! too Tumblr tunderfal vitals. you you you you you you you you you

you you you your your your your your your you’ve :-)

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I love when people whose first languages have grammatical gender use the wrong pronoun in English. "this river is so green because he is fed by glaciers" aw the river is Just A Little Guy. your version of my language is better