The RavenousNightWind

Gay Disabled Autistic with ADHD bird keeper who rants about a lot of things.

[ravenousnightwind]

Norse Research List

Norse Magic Stuffs

The Viking Way by Neil Price Nordic Religions in the Viking Age by Dubois Witchcraft and Magic in the Nordic Middle Ages by Mitchell Myths and Symbols in Pagan Europe by Davidson Runic Amulets and Magic Objects by MacLeod and Mees

Magical Creatures and Various Spirits

The Tradition of Household Spirits Demons and spirits                                                         }-Lecouteux The Hidden History of Elves and Dwarves

Conversion

The End of Traditional Religion Pagans and the Rise of Christianity by James J O Donnel. The Conversion of Scandinavia by Anders Winroth

History & Culture Stuffs

The Age of the Vikings by Anders Winroth Viking Age Iceland by Jesse Byock

Lore

The Poetic Edda by Jackson Crawford (Anything Jackson Crawford translates is good, including the sagas he's translated.)

Norwegian Folktales of Asbjornsen and Moe (Features stories gathered by two people across Norway.)

The Sagas of the Icelanders The Seven Viking Romances(it isn't about damsels in distress, it's actually about adventure.) }- Last Two by Penguin Classics

"Second Hand Experiences?" Ibn Fadlan and the Land of Darkness from Penguin Classics.

[hneycmb]

Kinda wild how most people generally recognize that the "too sick to go to school, too sick to watch tv/play games" mindset our parents had was bullshit but still impose essentially the exact same rules on disabled adults and scrutinize them for enjoying low-energy hobbies while being too fatigued or in pain to work a full time job (or any job at all)

[only-knives]

wait a fucking second you're right hold on *drops rock (of internalized ableism)*

[ravenousnightwind]

I'm all for believing people have a potential to be good. I don't really believe in evil or things like that. I just believe that some people are malicious for different reasons. Sometimes reasons you'll never understand.

My partners sister for example is just a real nasty person. Racist, hateful. She even made fun of me because I can't work. Like, some people are just nasty and you don't understand why. Doesn't mean you have to put up with it.

[ravenousnightwind]

If you're looking for a magical survival game. Witchspire comes out next week.

[funstyle]

having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed

[jacobtheloofah]

i was paying attention, i was listening, but you see the problem is....it didnt work

[ravenousnightwind]

One of the hardest parts being diagnosed later in life is that I didn't really understand or know what overstimulation was/is for me. I had to learn to develop my own techniques actively, and when I didn't I suffered a lot in a variety of ways.

Now, I go through a check list of sorts in my head. Like oh, I feel a pressure or fatigue, maybe I should do something else. When I run out of things to do, I just go lay down and desensitize myself in a dark place. Or I just make sure my eyes are covered enough.

It really helps because if I don't do things to mitigate being overstimulated, then I get terrible anxiety or sadness. Which can also be a symptom of overstimulation as well. Having my own techniques in dealing with it has been helpful to kind of get a grip on where I go next.

[ravenousnightwind]

I used to be really uncomfortable when people would ask me: "so what do you do for a living". Like why do you need to know what I do? I don't do anything. Now, I just tell them I'm disabled. It's like part of who I am now. I don't need their permission or approval.

[ravenousnightwind]

I think that through all my wanting because of not being happy, I wanted things to make me happy but nothing made me happy so I just kept wanting. Sometimes unknowingly at the expense of others, sometimes in dangerous ways. Then, when I realized I didnt have to be like everyone else, everything changed. I stopped wanting so much.

[homunculus-argument]

in Finland, it is illegal to kill a bear when it’s hibernating. If you ask a hunter why that is, a number of them will tell you it’s wrong simply because it is the law, and they don’t make a distinction between what is right, and what is legal. Most people like that are perfectly normal, decent and respectable people, just like the rest of us.

 But if you ask people who think about things, the answer is vague. Killing a hibernating bear would just feel… impolite? You can’t fucking shoot a man when he’s sleeping, that’s just fucking rude. It’s just not the right thing to do.

 Long before hunting laws were established in Finland, you couldn’t kill a sleeping bear, and what commands you is something older than law: tradition. Even at a time when hunting was a matter of life and death, and a bear fighting for its life is mainly a matter of death, you just didn’t kill a hibernating bear, you have to wake it up first. Hunters risked their lives, the lives of their brothers and everyone in the hunting party, who were friends, family and men that they loved, to give the bear a fighting chance.

 In the modern time, the hunting season of bears is in the summer, for the warmest summer months. There are many reasons for why they are allowed to tread safely in autumn and to sleep in peace through the cold months, almost all of which are rational and scientific, and do not touch the old traditions.

 Old faith says a living thing has many souls - henki, luonto, itse. Plants only have one - the one that wills them to grow. Animals have two, both the spark of life and nature that enables them to act. A human being also has the third, one that makes them a person, personality, itse, literally “self”. But the soul that travels in your dreams is not the soul that defines a human - animals have that one as well. When your dog runs in her sleep, her soul is elsewhere, where a dog is needed.

 One’s waking soul is elsewhere when they sleep and dream. A bear’s soul is somewhere else when they are hibernating - there are two words for “hibernation” in finnish, one of which is talviuni, “winter sleep”, and that is the one that bears have - and if you kill a sleeping bear, their soul is not in the body, it is still out there, and it can find you, and as a revenge for killing its body, Ghost Bear will kill your entire fucking family.

[ravenousnightwind]

I think I'm just a person who holds conflicting beliefs. Like I believe in science and the processes that we use. While at the same time I believe in the spiritual or possibility of it. As a logical thinker I can think when we die, that's it, there is no other thing. We cease to exist as people. While at the same time still harbor thoughts or theories about the afterlife and gods. While it may seem like I am confused, or don't know what's true, in reality I think I can entertain both ideas at the same time despite how they conflict with one another.

[ravenousnightwind]

I feel like I'm still an animist pagan. I still see all the spirits in everything. I still carry my mjolnir everywhere I go. I'm just not actively practicing due to medical reasons. I think that's okay and fine, healthy even. To step away from everything spiritual and religious and just focus on yourself. It's what I had to do, and it gave me a perspective where I can look at things objectively.

[rabbitheatedgrrrl]

Not wanting to have sex is NOT a problem. It doesn’t matter if you are asexual or allo, there is nothing wrong with not wanting sex. It’s just an activity. That’d be like saying that if you don’t like soccer, you need to go to soccer therapy to figure out why you dislike it and figure out how to like it because it’s for your own good. See how ridiculous that sounds? IT IS OK TO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX AND IT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED!!!!!!

[ravenousnightwind]

I think part of the reason why I say you should step away from things is because in my experience, doing all the spiritual stuff wasn't helping me, and it was making my situation worse because it required me to actually do stuff that I simply could no longer do. Like pray everyday or offer things everyday. Like, I literally just lost the ability to do anything like that because of seizures. So in that process I became more agnostic/atheist because I had to learn to live without it for two or three years.

Yet, there is something within me that still calls to the Norse gods. I still carry my mjolnir with me everywhere I go. It's literally in my bag anytime I take it with me. It's my talisman. And when shit happens I'm always doing the thing I always did was asking the gods why they decided this thing, whatever it is, was a good idea. Like, I still have all my pagan tendencies lol. I'm just not actively practicing religiously.

[ravenousnightwind]

I can be like: the gods can choose you and make things happen to you specifically for the purpose of learning or spite or what have you. Sometimes a sign is a sign and you have to follow those if your senses tell you so.

But I can also be like: none of that shit is real and if it is nobody can prove it.

I think I'm just at this point where I don't really care if someone has meaningful experiences. Like, if they had an experience that is great..or maybe not so great sometimes. If it helps them some how, then yeah. I think that's good. I also think I can just hold conflicting opinions because I can. But I also can determine whether or not something is spiritual or religious or if it's based on mental illness. Having the ability to be like well maybe you should think about stepping away from this, can also be a good thing.

Like, I just know that side helps me in dealing with my own mental illness. I believe religion or spirituality should help people. But the moment it doesn't, that's when things start to become problematic for the individual or others around them. This and I think it's healthy to just question your own beliefs.

At the end of the day there is no true pagan or one true heathen. No matter what anyone says. You can still feel special or do special things, but that doesn't make you better or more capable than another person. It just means you personally feel that.

My point is, sometimes it's good to get fresh air and just be in that moment. Without all the stuff. Other times maybe we need it some how. Where the gods. Are right there in our face. It's not about if it's real, it's about how it affects you. Whether they are real or not doesn't matter. What matters is what are you getting out of it. Cuz ultimately our relation with the divine is supposed to be equal exchange in some way.

Idk maybe I'm just rambling.

[ravenousnightwind]

Finding the little things is hard. Then when you just sit in the moment with a blank mind, you discover that life is just about living. There's no grand meaning or thing. There's only what you decide. To some people this may sound daunting, but for me it feels freeing.

To realise you don't need to do all the shit people say. To have all the shit people talk about. It all goes back to basics when you think about it that way. But it's easy to want more, and it's incredibly difficult to have a void that no matter what you do, never fills itself.

I think I've suffered a lot from wanting. There's so much to want, but I think I wanted to be normal at one point. That was hurting me, making me crave more things. Because being disabled means I'd never get the chance to prove myself. I'd never get to have what others have. So I wanted things in other ways. More transformers, more games, more pets. Anything that could stimulate me to help me feel happy. But this was wrong for a lot of reasons. It was the only thing I had at the time though.

As I look now at the leaves rustling in the wind, I realise where I went wrong on my path. I realise the things I need. Not just the basic survival stuff, but also what I need to do in order to stay sane. What I need to do in order to live a happy full life. Even if my situation limits me, even if sometimes my partner annoys me...or makes me feel a way.

Now I realise deep down what my needs are. Once you realise what that is for yourself, you stop wanting things. You stop desiring more and more. Even if I still desire things I can't have. The fact I've set it aside and come to realise my own needs has helped me determine what's truly important.

[ravenousnightwind]

In Soulmask:

Exploring the desert sands was difficult as the scorpions defy all logic with their size. Finally, we reached the point back at base. The ship was ready, and so we set off to raid the enemy camp for ancient technologies.

Upon first glance the camp was immpentrable due to the energy shield. But I researched technologies regarding cannons, and now we were ready to raid. Blasting the shield was easy. Two shots fired and it came down. The enemies fought with vigor and nailed us with balista. The archer on my team blasted the explosives to break down the barriers holding the loot.

Finally, after returning, I placed the fuel inside the ship, and she rose to the heavens.

[ravenousnightwind]

A lot of my problems require stop management. So I'll stop what I'm doing and determine what needs to be done. Like oh I've been playing for two hours maybe it's time to stop now. Or oh I feel funny, let's take off my glasses and just try to relax without them. (There's a pressure that comes with wearing glasses that I have a hard time with sometimes so I need to take them off to rest my face.)

Ultimately it has become about managing the little things and then looking at the big things and piece them apart to make them little things so I can do basic tasks like taking the trash out or doing the dishes. That or making it where I perform half the task and do the rest later.

I feel like it's been really helpful for me to manage my own actions this way because it helps me live better and happier. This even goes towards spending time with pets or even just relaxing. It's almost like having a schedule or routine but there's no time constraints or specific things for the most part.