I think a lot about how All kinds of trans people with All kinds of presentation and labels seem to experience the Exact Same sort of alienation.
and there's lots of underlying and individual reasons for it (bigotry being, of course, a common one). but I think a big factor here is like.
instead of internalizing that people should be and look like whatever they want, people get Used To specific kinds of trans people, and then react with the same unease that they had before when they see someone who pushes That boundary.
it's always a bigger box rather than No box. and the wild thing about it is that it often self perpetuates.
because a lot of this comes from cis people of course, but a lot of it doesn't.
I think there are some trans people who are Deeply uncomfortable with trans people who are different than them. and that difference can be anything really, label, presentation, where someone is at in their transition, If they want to or are able to transition at all, or even just baseline What Have You Experienced.
it's this discomfort that they feel when they see people that share a space with them who aren't a Mirror of themselves and their experiences.
and part of that is, of course, what we've already gone over. transness should be like Them because they already know Themselves. but I think, at times, a bigger part of it is this insecurity. people who Experience that exact marginalization feel that discomfort when they see transness presented as something different because it feels like that Something Different is saying something about Them.
and so it's cyclical, whether an individual's insecurity came from within the community or not, it tends to go Back into the community regardless.
you'll see it when you look for it, people within the same spaces speaking about how they're treated for being masc or femme or androgynous. no matter the presentation, people are ostracized for it. and yet a lot of people only see Their ostracization and then Perpetuate the problem.
"trans people who look like this, who present like this, who Are This, have it Easy because everyone Loves Them. they don't suffer like I do, they aren't oppressed like I am, they don't have experiences that are worth talking about like I do."
and it's ! really wild. because they're Almost There. they Know what that marginalization feels like, they Know what that othering feels like. but people still don't have the perspective to See people who aren't like them.
and so you get people who are treated like they're being bigoted by Not being comfortable wearing nail polish or dresses in the same spaces with people being treated like they're personally causing all transphobia because they Are.
and the thing is ! I don't think you need to Personally see all of the marginalization and othering and oppression to come to the right conclusion in the first place. it's not about the Specific Traits That Somebody Has but how they Treat And Talk About Other People.
another person just Existing doesn't have any affect on anybody But Them. it doesn't hurt anybody for a trans person (or ANY person) to choose the way they dress, to choose the way they present, to have a personal comfort level with their body.
just ! don't make assumptions about a person based on how they look or how they Like or Want to look. don't compare other people To You and get upset when they fall short of being You. and then there'd just be no discourse in the first place.
you'd think the Trans Community out of all communities would understand this, but unfortunately people are always people it would seem
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