Someone please come scream with me about Fouth Wing. I need someone to obsess over it and talk conspiracy with
we're not kids anymore.

titsay
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occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE

pixel skylines

Andulka

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

tannertan36

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styofa doing anything
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Claire Keane
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Xuebing Du
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Kaledo Art

roma★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

⁂
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@razzledazzle2k13
Someone please come scream with me about Fouth Wing. I need someone to obsess over it and talk conspiracy with
I’m wanting to start a new original story but I need someone to talk to and listen. I need someone to go over world building with me.
Someone please scream about Dark Rise with me? Anyone?
Okay but hear me out,
Spoilers ahead
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what if James wanted and actually made the collar? What if it was his way of giving himself completely to the king to prove his love and loyalty? Maybe thats why he's so drawn to it. It is his own power and longing.
Nothing has gotten me so hyped in a long time! I can’t even wait to see all the artists do some fanart 🥺
@tootlestheblinddancingwonderbat
Thinking about making a web comic sort of thing on some Greek Gods. I have two separate ideas. The problem is, I can't draw but I can write. I need someone to collaborate with.
Anyone interested?
My nephew likes to play McDonald's, which is what you'd expect it to be. He says, "Welcome to McDonald's. How may I help you?" After you order, he says, "Okay, coming right up," and pretends to give you your food. He has another game called "Silly McDonald's," which is the same thing, except no matter what you order, he says, "Here's your cold hamburger."
I know I'm biased, but he's a comedic genius, as far as I'm concerned.
The last time I saw him, he said, "Let's play McDonald's," so I assumed it was regular McDonald's. But then he hit me with a cold hamburger. It was Silly McDonald's the whole time. I got played.
@what-just-happened-bro
My brother is watching Avatar and I can hear the TV from my room. He’s just started Season 3 and these have been my favorite reactions
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aang: Bumi, you’re a mad genius
Bro: fucking WHAT?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cabbage Guy: My CaBbAgEs
Bro: I feel you, man
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kyoshi: I killed Chin the Conqueror
Bro: God fucking DAMMIT KYOSHI! Just help Aang out a bit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bro: Hoe, don’t do it
Zuko: *Starts attacking Aang in the crystal catacombs*
Bro: HOE!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Azula: *hits Aang with lightning*
Bro: WHAT? AANG! MY BOY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katara: It has special properties, so I’ve been saving it for something special *touches Zuko’s scar*
Bro: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! (clapping his hands during each no)
(he is evidently not a Zutara fan)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toph: *metal bends*
Bro: If Toph had been the avatar, the Fire Nation would surrender out of fear
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(I have absolutely no idea what prompted this)
Bro: Momo deserves better
COMMISSIONS OPEN! (Slots full) - - - ask-minadukirui
TROF’S COMMISSION GUIDELINES
[[ WHAT I’LL DRAW ]]
- Original characters (please provide references) - Fan art of anime, cartoons, and other shows (please provide references) - Yaoi/Yuri - Yaoi NSFW If your request is not mentioned in the list, please feel free to message me so we can discuss and clarify.
[[ TERMS AND CONDITIONS ]]
• No refunds. • Payments are to be made via PayPal invoices only. Please wait for me to send a PayPal invoice to settle the amount. • Each drawing takes a different number of days for me to complete. If you are in a hurry, please inform me beforehand so I can tell you whether or not I can finish the work on time or not.
[[ ORDERING PROCESS ]]
1. Send me request via chat message in Tumblr. I advise not sending via ask box because it might get lost. I will try to reply within 24 hours.
2. In the email, please include the following details: • Your name • PayPal email • Details of your request
3. Once I have finalized the details of your request as well as the total amount, I will send you a draft based on your descriptions. No major revisions after the draft has been approved by you.
4. Once done the artwork, I will send you a Paypal invoice with the full amount of your commission.
5. I will send you the high-resolution image via e-mail once the commission is done! Sooooo… That’s pretty much it! But in case you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, don’t hesitate to send me a message!
Reblogs are always welcome and your support will be a big help to me and will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
*sigh* So she months ago my computer crashed and I only recently got it back. I had taken a backup of all my files a short time before it crashed but for some reason and due to life hating me apparently the backup of my drawing folder was damaged.
Now I’ve been trying to see if the files can be salvaged of the hard drive that crashed and was just now informed that recovering them will cost about $1500
I just… want my wips and drawings since 2006 why does it have to cost so fucking much?? This on top of my tablet dying and I just…
would anyone want to buy some kind of commissions or something?
“Shurorororo, want a balloon~?”
((lol I guess someone has a Halloween costume for the costume contest going on, forced suggested by @askmamavamp mun))
This is fucking life. I love this more than words can explain
I couldn’t help myself
Describe your sex life with the name of a Yugioh card.
“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” and another one appears. And dodges the downward sweep of claws, darting to the side, bouncing off the pentagram’s barriers, and tripping over the demon’s tail. “In the Vatican!” she cries out as she moves, using the State Farm Agent summoning charm to modify the situation as she was taught, and mentally thanking her trainer for expecting her to be fast enough to do it on the first incantation.
Most State Farm agents, when they run into trouble, have to get the customer to do the jingle a second time. That guy with the buffalo was lucky.
The magic takes hold, and she materializes in the aisle of St. Peter’s Basilica, still holding the demon by the tail, in the middle of Sunday morning Mass. The music clatters unprofessionally to a halt as laypeople, deacons, priests, monks, nuns, and the Pope all turn their attention to the surprised demon whose fifth course of dinner has turned, unaccountably, into a visit to one of his least favorite places on Earth.
There is chanting in Latin, and vaguely cross-shaped gestures, and clouds of incense, and the demon vanishes in a puff of smoke, whether from the efforts of the clergy or of his own volition no one can say. The Agent doesn’t wait, fleeing towards the doors and escaping in the confusion.
She gains the exit and walks, purposefully, toward Rome proper; there, she ducks into the nearest alley. A burner cell phone comes out of one of the less-used pockets of her purse, and she dials a number from memory.
“Allstate,” says a smooth masculine voice after three rings.
“State Farm,” she answers. “I’m calling in a favor.”
“Yeah?” Interest. “What sort?”
As she talks she’s pulling out her smartphone, keying an app that was activated by the summoning, and pulling up the policyholder data that enabled the incantation to work.
“Insurance fraud,” she said, and can almost hear teeth sharpening on the other end of the line. She gives him the name, the address, the policy number. “Someone needs some mayhem.”
“That’s my name,” the man says.
She smiles. “Someone needs all the mayhem.”
He chuckles. Slow. Evil. Even with the echoes of demonic laughter ringing in her ears, she’s impressed. “Don’t worry,” he says, almost purring.
“You’re in good hands.”
OH MY FUCKING GOD I just read insurance commercial fan fiction and it was so good, bless you, I’m going to remember this day forever.
IT COMES BACK TO ME! *preens*
Part 2:
It’s not too long later—State Farm will occasionally loan out their teleportation trick, though Heaven help anyone who tries to use it to compete with them—and the man they call Mayhem is squatting next to a demonic circle with tacky half-dried blood under the leather soles of his shoes. Whoever dispelled the circle didn’t do a good job of it; the ring is still faintly smoldering and Mayhem has already singed his fingers on the air above it. He’s in the basement of a house with a State Farm homeowner’s policy, waiting for his partner in, erm, crime, to show up.
“Oh, good heavens.” He smiles at the sound of someone hopping delicately back, then carefully tiptoeing through the mess. Demons are messy eaters, and Flo’s wearing all white.
She steps gingerly over what might be most of a femur, looks from circle to Mayhem to—is that half a skull on the floor? “Freaky. Whaddaya need?”
“Tech,” he says. “State Farm knows the homeowner summoned them, but the Agent reported at least five people present. Maybe six. She isn’t sure, what with being busy evading a demon inside a very small space with zappy walls.”
Flo’s already got a—where does she get those from anyway? a cardboard box in her hands. Mayhem watches as she unfolds it, refolds it, and ends up with something significantly bigger, shaped like a satellite dish. He tries to watch how she does it; they may be working together, but they’re still rivals and his own higher-ups will be very interested in the latest whatever-it-does that Progressive has come up with.
A blue glow lights up the concave side. Mayhem is pretty sure cardboard doesn’t work that way. Flo makes a pleased sound, and starts rattling off names, addresses, policy numbers.
Impressed, Mayhem asks, “How the fuck?” If Progressive is developing some sort of superspy technology, well, that’s kind of ominous.
Flo grins and looks embarrassed. “I, ah, have occasional dealings with a couple guys from That Other Insurance Company. One of them knows someone who knows someone who works in quality control for the Infernal Realms, and it turns out Hell monitors all their summoned manifestations for safety purposes. His contact got me the list of who was there.”
Mayhem nods. He’s had occasional encounters That Other Insurance Company himself. Bland, grey-suited, timid men who are even worse spies than they are insurance agents. “Wait, Hell has a quality control department?”
“And all other forms of administration,” Flo says. “I understand it’s to generate maximum paperwork. It is a place of punishment, after all.”
Mayhem actually winces. “That’s definitely hellish. All right. The Agent who called me in is flying back from Italy and should meet us in a few hours. Should give us plenty of time to plan an attack. Are they all State Farm customers?”
“Just the one,” Flo replies, folding her toy up, and Mayhem watches with vague envy as it becomes a giant sword. “One Allstate, one Progressive, one Geico, two Farmers. We gonna invite anyone else to the party?” She hopes so. Mayhem’s precision strikes on any sort of insurance fraud perpetrators are the stuff of legend, and the Farmers guys would bring in enough absurdity to make it a work of art.
Mayhem’s grin is something that ought to haunt her nightmares. Instead, she finds herself matching it. “Yes,” he says. “Let’s.”
Part 3:
The sun is just a suggestion behind the horizon, but the morning traffic jam is already clogging up the freeways by the time Mayhem and Flo leave the scene of the crime. Flo is driving, weaving her motorcycle expertly through the sea of zombie commuters, and already some jackass in a twenty-year-old Honda has rolled down his window to sneer at Mayhem for riding behind a woman and in the process taken his eyes off the road long enough to rear-end a state trooper.
By the time the sun is peeking over the edge of the world, the freeway has been exchanged for fast-food restaurants and traffic lights, and Mayhem is contemplating commercials. “I’m another motorist doing something you disapprove of” is warring with “I’m a state trooper,” and Mayhem is leaning toward the latter because it might give him an excuse to put on the uniform, when Flo erupts in giggles, jerking her head subtly to the right. Mayhem finds what she’s looking at and nearly pisses himself.
A van, the type that practically screams “covert surveillance,” is parked in the entrance to a Starbucks. Two men in bland gray suits and the sort of ties that give insult to all intelligent life are sitting in the front seat, coffee cups in hand. Mayhem sees the moment they set eyes on Flo—they both jerk upwards in their seats as if jabbed with a cattle prod—and then the moment where they realize who her passenger is. The one in the driver’s seat boggles and reflexively inhales half his coffee; the passenger reaches over to slap him on the back, sees Mayhem, and spills his own beverage all over the dashboard.
When Flo passes the driveway she gives a little wave to the men, and they both dive for cover. Mayhem would be surprised at the level of ineptitude That Other Insurance Company lets their agents display, but he’s seen one of them try to hide behind a stop sign. Surprise has long since left the station, leaving amusement and a hint of second-hand embarrassment which Mayhem relishes rather than winces at.
He’s jarred from his thoughts as Flo hits the brakes, neatly avoiding the SUV that has just moved into their lane without signaling on her way to the upcoming right-turn lane. The driver diverts attention from her cell phone long enough glare at Flo and stick a manicured middle finger in their general direction, and turns to the road just in time to watch as her car veers off the shoulder and makes intimate congress with a speed limit sign. And then the flashing lights come on from somewhere behind them and Mayhem’s faith in humanity is restored.
He revises. “I’m a middle-management commuter on a cell phone.”
Flo pulls over to let the cop car pass, and Mayhem sneaks a look back at the van. God have mercy, the one in the passenger seat has binoculars.
“Shall we lose them or let them follow us?” Flo’s voice interrupts his giggle-fit.
No question. Not like they’re a threat. “Let’s keep ‘em. They’re entertaining.”
Flo merges back into traffic and signals a move to the left lane. Since the lady in the SUV is still in view, glaring up at them as the police officer steps up to her window, Mayhem is extra gratified that she waits five whole blinks before merging into the next lane. It’s doubtless for the benefit of their pursuers, who otherwise might manage to keep with them if Mayhem draws a map and passes it to them at a stoplight, but his black and petty heart rejoices anyway.
It takes them awhile to get to the suburban park where Mayhem has arranged to meet the State Farm agent who called him in. Or rather, it takes them awhile to get there without losing their inept pursuers; twice, Flo has to double back and be found again, and once the van gets stuck behind a railroad crossing and Flo and Mayhem have to stop and pick up a box of donuts in order to still be there when the train finishes blocking the road. The park is a lovely little spot complete with playground equipment and a little waterfall, as completely removed from this business with demons and human sacrifice as a person could want. There’s one car in the lot already, a rental, and a figure in red shirt and khaki skirt standing beside it.
“Is that the Agent?” Flo asks, and Mayhem nods. The woman is short, dark, curvy—very pretty—and the two guys from That Other are in serious danger of twisting their heads off their shoulders as they drive past. Whether it’s for that reason, or because there’s now three insurance companies having a little meeting in a city park like some exceedingly bad spy thriller, Mayhem isn’t sure.
Flo parks the motorcycle and goes up to introduce herself; Mayhem stays put and watches the van make an awkward U-turn in the middle of the road and come back. The State Farm agent walks up to Mayhem and offers a hand, and he is distracted from the spectacle by a warm-toned “A pleasure to meet you” and a gaze and smile as predatory as a shark’s. It’s enough to distract his attention well and properly. This is the person to whom he’s promised vengeance, and this is the face of a person who has fought and outsmarted a demon.
Damn, he’s glad he picked up the phone.
“Pleasure’s all mine,” is what he says, and then Flo lets out a mirthful squeak. Mayhem and the Agent both follow her gaze, just in time to see the surveillance van leave the road, bouncing over the curb and smashing into a tree.
The Agent is staring, her lips curving into an amused smirk, and Mayhem composes another commercial. “I’m stupid, and I come in pairs.”
I’m so glad this has been updated. I love this story.
<3<3<3
Mayhem is perfect! I love him composing commercials in his head. And the Other Insurance Company was just adorable.
For the non-Americans in the audience, the other guys are the generic competition. Given visualization as described, they are from the progressive commercials, but most of our insurance ads involve the narrator telling you that you can save x amount switching (from the other guys, or the noun is left implied).
Every insurance company can save you money if you switch to them. Who are you switching from? The Other Insurance Company, naturally.
Is there a Part Four yet? @kyraneko, do you have an ao3 or something where I can read all of this at once?
*glee*
IT’S BACK AND THERE’S MORE
Honestly, I won’t be satisfied now unless they invite the Geico gecko and he turns into a dragon.
Take 15 minutes and you can save 15 % AND MAKE IT PART OF YOUR GLORIOUS HOARD
This post gives me life. Also, moar plz, with the gecko? :D
@razzledazzle2k13 yup. This is a thing.
I am in love. I would read a whole series xD
Toxic 10-16-17
They say holding onto the past is toxic.
Yet it's the past that shapes us into who we are.
If my past was toxic, then so am I.
Every day is a new day, look to the future.
Yet the toxins spread to the new day.
It's contagious, virus like.
It spreads and corrupts.
Even if you take the medicine to cure it, a new strand is born.
It adapts and becomes smarter.
It knows your habits, routines, schedule.
It knows so much about you because it is you.
They say the past defines you.
But it can't define you because the past is you.
You can't define something still in the works.
“Keep your hands off my man, you dirty homewrecker!”
“That line again, Grell?”