The birds chirping, a ray of sunlight The dust and particles spotlight Ballet to the orchestra of life I want that to be mine As time strolls by
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
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@rbelaw
The birds chirping, a ray of sunlight The dust and particles spotlight Ballet to the orchestra of life I want that to be mine As time strolls by
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
Appreciation is key- because clearly you can be unhappy in whatever situation you’re in
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
Maybe it's better to say, ‘tame your demons
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
Flinch at touches not sure why Think it was something to do with back when I was nine Or younger I don't remem -ber
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
My mother Filling my head with dread With all the things she said Kissing the demon she fed Before going to bed I’ve got OCD up in my head I don't complain very much If at all Because it isn't as bad As those who bawl and crawl Wishing for the end of it all I’m superstitious and orderly at best I didn't go in this room or eat that before a test So why would I for the rest But yes Sometimes it's hard Want to prick and peel my skin with a shard And ram my head into a wall But it's not that bad
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
This is to manifest happiness and love May you be free as a dove At the end of a wedding May you find your new setting No more fretting Just smiling and I'm betting There will be people there Supporting you and telling you they’re So proud and their Mum says hello And let's not forget the dough Show me the money This is life and your show So Here’s to manifesting happiness and love May God bless you from above
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
You know how it feels to be me? It's like getting off the bus Confident that it's your stop Getting off And not knowing where you are
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
Thought experiment: I'm in a prison There's a bed And bathroom facilities Food is provided No ones confirmed my imprisonment Just allude to the detrimental impact Of Leaving Do I leave?
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
Maybe this is the fate for a sage Sitting and contemplating Weighted smile from the inevitable Reading languages unknown Speaking in frequencies undetectable
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
I don't know why everyone is so against me having a cat
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
I've always wanted a place in the middle of nowhere Juxtaposition for a city boy, lazy in nature But that's where my heart calls Where there aren't any more Cold white walls And the wind has a rhythm all of its own Not manufactured through the tunnels Of towering concrete I miss my heartbeat I miss my bare feet On the hot ground And sped through all that I am now I want to stretch and feel nothing No ache No longing Just pure and simple Belonging
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
When I was younger I wanted to be in a rock band I still do I guess that spark doesn't die with you There's just something so enticing About singing and screaming your heart chambers open That that was your way of coping Nothing left smouldering Light the fire and let it burn through you And become a pyre for all their desires
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
I’ve been meaning to write more But I don't want to confuse what for And I really don't want to add to the bore Of it all Life that is
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
I spend so much time making everyone else happy But not in a way that's all sappy Let me not rhyme I’m like the Batman of the happiness game Lurking and working in the shadows High-level technique Predominately mental in the approach I don't even like Batman all that much But he is the saving grace of the DC franchise I don't like to take credit Cause it amounts to nothing And I do everything for nothing This strange compulsion Deep-rooted seeds sown by my mother The right thing is just the only thing But it's tiring I don't want anything for the things I do I just want people to see the world The way I do
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
But they say ‘fight your demons’, and I ask why
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
Let's get down to the nitty gritty You are phenomenal You're so smart and interesting looking I can't say beautiful or handsome But you're coming to realise that Not being those things is fine Because to be those things You either have to look like everyone else Or act like everyone else All your siblings are in another realm Yeah that's hella lonely right But you made it Even as stardust You were like, you know what Imma go over there Even when they didn't follow Even when you watch them return in failure And yes you're mighty broken That's how I like to put it Mighty Cause it is You stood up to all those mean people The demons The leeches and snakes And look You're still standing Scars, missing pieces and all That's impressive Don't be ashamed of being broken It means you've survived And I know you don't like your current living arrangements But how many people can say they've lived with actual demons And how many of those can say they're demon whisperers None Well I don't know But I assume none And I assume that'll be the case when you qualify As a demon wrangler Admirable that you stopped going down the demon slayer route Cruelty is cruelty And speaking of cruelty You’ve had some much chucked your way But you smart You said Even as a little chubby thing You said Nope You took all that cruelty All that trauma Shoved it into little disposable boxes And disposed You've forgotten more than you can remember And I know that makes you upset Sometimes As though You're missing something Or missing out on something But you're not And I know you think nothings going your way But that's great Store the kinetic energy from the beatings Find the most aerodynamic position And prepare to fly On karmic airlines I love you And so does the universe My friend It'll be okay One day So I think that's all from me I love you Mighty smart Stardust travelling Broken Demon whisperer Champ I'll just call you You For short I love you And it'll be okay You I promise
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself
Lonely child. I remember when this kid New to school Called me that after I said I hadn't any siblings I laughed at the time And corrected him But did I?
R. Be Lawrence in Sometimes I Feel Like a Failure and Other Days I Just Want to Kill Myself