Richard's

Giving up is not an option.

[rchrdplmrtn]

#doge

[rchrdplmrtn]

The right time

Hello love, i am writing this message feb 7 2017. 5 months na simula noong maghiwalay tayo. Nareceive mo to dahil hindi tayo nagkabalikan na talaga in the whole 5 months. Sabi ko di na kita iistorbohin kaya nanahimik na ako. Sana hindi mo to mareceive on the date na masesend 'to. Kasi umaasa akong magkakabalikan tayo. Na marerealize mo na para tayo sa isa't isa. Na ako talaga yung taong matagal mo nang inaantay.

Love those days na hiniwalayan mo ko, sobrang sakit. Everyday im asking myself: what did i do wrong to deserve and to be treated like this? Pero sabi ko sa sarili ko ngayon araw na sinusulat ko to, siguro nga kailangan mo ng oras. Kailangan mo magfocus. Na ginawa mo yun bagay na iyon para sa future natin. Pero ang sakit mahal, kaya ko naman magantay. Pero di sa ganitong paraan, na nawala yung respeto.

Na nawala ka sa buhay ko.

Ang sakit ng sabihin mo na hindi ganun kalalim yung pagmamahal mo sakin. Na cinompare mo ko sa ex'es mo. Love, iba ako sa kanila. Alam ko nasaktan ka sa kanila, alam ko kung paano masaktan. Kaya hanggat kaya ko pinaglalaban ko yung pagmamahal ko sa iyo. Kahit na ayaw mo na. Dahil sabi mo masasaktan lang ako. Na wag ako umasang forever tayo. Na wag akong mahulog sa iyo.

Di ko pinaniwalaang di mo ko minahal ng lubos love. Sobrang thankful ko kasi nakilala kita. Kasi alam kong ikaw yung taong dapat minamahal at pinapahalagahan. Kaya kahit anong pagtaboy mo sinusubukan kong buo-in.

Love hindi ako sumuko, nagaantay pa rin ako. Kasi love, mahal na mahal kita. Tunay lahat ng ito. Alam kong balang araw pagtatagpuin tayo ng tadhana at you will be back in my life. To start anew, to be happy with each other's arms and to love and love and love.

Kung wala na talagang natitirang pagmamahal sayo para sa akin, always remember na nandito lang ako lagi. Patuloy kang mamahalin. Nagpapasalamat ako sa diyos na nagtagpo tayo. Na natutunan kitang mahalin. Na kung meron pang isang chance sa buhay ko, ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin ko. Kasi alam kong para talaga tayo sa isat isa.

Ngayon siguro sure na gagraduate ka na. Naenjoy mo na din yung oras na wala ako. Umaasa ako na maibalik lahat ng pagmamahal. Yung mga oras na pinagsamahan natin.

Mahal na mahal kita. I miss you so much mahal kong asawa.

P.S. sana totoo pa yung sinabi mo sa akin noon na mahal na mahal mo ako. Kasi ako mahal pa rin kita.

[rchrdplmrtn]

Ibalik

Ito na, oras at panahon na iyong hiniling. Sana ikaw ay makarating pabalik sa akin piling. Ito na yung oras na makakapag-isip ka na at ako. Na sana marealize mo lahat na mahal mo talaga ako. Na sana di mo ko iniwan. Na sana nagawa mo pa rin akong irespeto. Mahal, nakalimutan ko na kung paano irespeto yung sarili ko. Naging desperado akong magkabalikan tayo. Kinain ko lahat ng natitirang pride. Kahit na nagmukha akong baliw at tanga. Di ako napagod, di ako sumuko. Magpapahinga lang ako. Di kita kakalimutan, kailangan ko lang ibalik yung respeto. Yung pagmamahal ko sa sarili ko. Di ko namalayan kinakalimutan ko na yung pagkatao ko para lang mapasaya ka, maibalik ka. Sana magkrus ang ating mga landas at muli tayong ibalik sa isa't isa. Sa tala ng buhay ko, ngayon lang ako umibig ng ganito. Na kahit ano hahamakin ko. Love is not anger, it is not selfish and does not cause pain. Love is kind, understanding and patient. Gusto kong bumalik sa panahon una tayong nagkita, kung saan nagsisintas ka ng sapatos. Na baka sakaling maitama ko lahat ng pagkakamali, na maitama natin lahat ng ating pagkukulang. Mahal na mahal kita. Di ako magsasawang sabihin ito. Na kung ulit ay papipiliing maging tayo, ang tanging isasagot ko ay oo.

[rchrdplmrtn]

Panaginip

Gusto ko lang i-share yung napanaginipan ko. Sobrang depressing niya para sa akin kasi yung mahal ko yung involve at akala ko ayos na ang lahat. Akala ko bumalik na ang lahat sa dati.

Nagkita tayo sa isang kanto, malungkot ang iyong mga mata. Nagchat ka sa akin na anong problema kahit magkatabi na tayo. Nagtalo tayo, nagkaayos.

Hinawakan mo ang aking kamay at sinabing “sasama ako sa'yo” pauwi sa bahay natin. Humiga ka sa kama at hinalikan mo ako sa aking mga labi. Sinabi ko, “sandali lang kukunin ko lang ang doughnut”. Pagbalik ko wala ka na. Pagising ko panaginip lang pala.

[rchrdplmrtn]

Hindi ako sumuko, nagpahinga lang ako. Kasi hangga't kaya ko, patuloy pa rin kitang mamahalin at iintindihin. Na kahit tinataboy mo na ako, di ako papayag na mawala ka.

[rchrdplmrtn]

We're stuck but we will find our way back home.

[rchrdplmrtn]

The one who walk away

Hey, yes you. Incase you are wondering, I am good. Trying so hard to be good. Trying to feel when we first met. Trying to forget every bad memories and retaining all the good times we had. I did not hold grudges, because that is not love. Anger is not love. Love is forgiving, love is kind, love is patient. And I loved you. I will always love you. Maybe I am saying all of this to you so soon. But I believe, if you really love someone, you do not need to hold it for so long. Because we do not know when that love of your life will leave you. I am glad that I said it too much, that I felt the love and it made me who I am today.

 You said, that you want me to enjoy life, that I am problematic. You are wrong. I am happy before I met you. I enjoyed life before I met you. But when we met, I felt lucky to have someone that made me learn how to love and be loved.

 Masaya ako na malungkot, masaya kasi nakilala kita at minahal kita. Malungkot kasi yung taong nagbigay sa akin ng pagasang mahalin, aalis din pala.

 Love, if ever we had a second chance I will still save you, love you and care for you.

 One day I wish you realize the times we had, the laughter, tears, excitement and love that we shared with each other.

 Mahal alam ko malabo na ang lahat, but still here I am hoping for that day.

Mahal na mahal kita. Wag mo pababayaan sarili mo. Lahat ng bilin ko sa iyo, kahit hindi na tayo magkasama sana gawin mo pa din.

Thank you and I love you.

[rchrdplmrtn]

I always hug this in my bed. Because this is the only thing that I have. Its too valuable that I would not trade it for anything. I love that one person who gave this to me and I will, always. I remember every good times we had and I still hope that we will have our second chance. I love you love.

[rchrdplmrtn]

After 2 years nakumpleto na rin tayo! This is the best gift that I received. I love you all!! Super happy ko guys na nagkasama sama tayo #5years #FriendshipGoal

[rchrdplmrtn]

[rchrdplmrtn]

Ulan

Your smile is like an ocean, and I love the ocean. I love when I see you smile, like you are not embarrass seeing by people being with me. I do not want to ruin every single bit of you, I do not want to tell you yet how I feel. Because it may kill the only chance that I will see you smile. You are like the rain, and I love the rain, enough to say that I love you when I told you like you are a rain. I will be here for you secretly, I will be going with you wherever you want to be with me, I will spend my last dime just to be with you... Because I know true love conquers all, I just wish that someday you will be the person that showers me with love... And be my storm.

[rchrdplmrtn]

Time makes it harder

I do not understand why we fall to the person that never in your existence that that person will going to love you the way you wanted to be love. I spent endless nights thinking of an imaginary person that one day, he will going to find me, fight for me, make me stop imagining and make my imagination a reality. Sometimes, I just wanted to give up finding, waiting and to be optimistic in having the other half of my life. I just want to die when I sleep or drown with my own tears. I made a pact to myself, just another 7 years of life full of regrets and hopelessness... And all things will going to stop. I'll take away my own breath just to not feel again that pains, heartaches, rejections, hatred and loneliness. I always fall to the people who will reject me again and again. I used to tell the person that I really like how I feel towards him. I will count the days 'til I finally met the 4-month rule if it is true emotions toward that person. But I always ended up rejected, devastated, like a person with a knife that stabbed his own heart a million times. Right now, at this very moment that I am typing this piece of whining down, I do not want to tell the person that I really and truely like, because it will ruin every things that I used to love about him. Call it selfish and stupid, I know. But I want to stop this delusion that the person will going to be my soul and companion for the rest of my unhappy life.

[rchrdplmrtn]

Broken pieces

It's good that we get this out of our system.. You are you now And I am me Lols to every fight and argument We said hurtful things that we didn't mean I know someday when our minds are clearer and our hearts are ready to forgive We will be okay again :) As for now, let us things fall into places.

[rchrdplmrtn]

There was always a time, that I wanted to wallow in the shallowness of my heart. that I just wanted to lie down and cry… let the tears run down beneath the constant reminder that no one is out there to carry you on.

I think that, no one would love me… the way that I can love him.

The feels every night, the chills on every sigh.

I wanted to punch this wall, but instead, my system cannot even control this bursting emotion and I just breakdown.

Luckily, the pillow is always there for me.. oh yes, the pillow. who’s always around when I cannot take it anymore, when I wanted to give up…

I am too afraid, because there are too many beautiful people in this freaking nightmare… And it makes me feel down about myself.

I am not the definition of beauty, I am not that smart, I am not that witty… In short, I am not good enough.

Not good enough to be loved.

My life is full of rejections, EVERYDAY…

in any things that I will do, I will say, I will propose, I want… fate tells me that, better luck next time or yes this is rejection deal with it every time of your life.

you are not a good person, that is why no one loves you.

that is why the person you want won’t love you back because you are too cruel. you’re so mad. you’re immature. you’re just not pretty enough.

sorry for always using this pity card. I did not want you to feel sorry for me.

Maybe in this way, I can be okay.. somehow.

atleast I can regain myself and deal with this shits everyday.

[rchrdplmrtn]

its hard to forget the pains. times that you regretted wasted tears. some times we need to go further. some times we are stuck and do not know where we're heading. you cannot brought back things and make it the way you want it to be, it was not supposed to be. some things are inevitable. its hard to look forward because the past is over shadowing the path. Life is not a bliss. You are the one who make it joyful. taihen desu ne tiring isn't nakakagod di'ba to live a life like this. every night, you will be thinking how life has been to you. how life given you so much drastic bygone memories. but still you are keep moving forward and trying not to break down. Do you know how hard to save a momentum to tell someone, to ask someone... Words need to let go. words explodes.. and damage has been done. we could not escape the fact that life is full of misery. and life is just being life.

[rchrdplmrtn]

sobrang messed up na buhay ko putang ina..

And I need to struggle with it everyfreakingday.

[rchrdplmrtn]

  when all is loud, all I ever hear is your voice

when darkness succumb, all I ever see is you

Can't breathe, I speak.

This silence is deafening

This cold shoulders are frightening

when will true love exist for me?

I hate the feeling of everyday.

And this is my life, full of rejection.