Banner ID: A picture of a beige page, in black italics, it reads: For those who dare to hope
Profile picture ID: an image of an ink well with a feathered pen inside, it is colored to look like the disability pride flag, which is gray with red, yellow, white, blue, and green cutting through it diagonally from the top left going down to the bottom right.
Hello there! Welcome to reader's tail! That's a pun if you couldn't tell, I really like adding tails to my reader inserts.
Anyway, the gimmick of this blog is that I try to make all the readers are disabled. And they might have tails or some other physical trait, like a speaker box as their voice or something.
They might not always focus on those details though.
Schedule and updates!
I hope to make many, many stories to entertain and inspire disabled and ablebodied people.. But I'm also disabled, with fatigue and normally low spoons.
So I may not churn out stories regularly, but if I do post, for the people in the back who crave schedule, it'll likely be on Fridays-sundays. Aka; I post when I want!
More about blog and special interest under cut
current special interest: Hazbin hotel! I know its bad. But, I watched it during a bad time and now Lucifer, Alastor, and Vox are stuck in my stinking head! (be aware that my special interests can and will last years)
In NO way do I condone Viviane's actions or "jokes", I watch the show as a comfort. If you support Vivzie's action please do not interact and block me.
Masterlist:
The three horsemen, aka Vox, Lucifer and Alastor fics:
A restless night (link): implied PTSD and past SA, drabble
Cuddle hcs (link): just fluff
Smut hcs (link)
One thing at a time: CDD/System! Reader (link)
Lucifer main focus:
N/a
Vox main focus:
N/a
Alastor main focus:
N/a
Userboxes :) (smiley face emoticon)
Credits for all dividers here: @electricdreams, @g0ds-f4v-svp3rn0v4, @sister-lucifer, @tsunami-of-tears, @userbox-shop, @lgbtq-userboxes, @transmasculine, @fynnigano, @userboxparty, @burntoutuserboxes, @friiedbugzcruzh, @stillarando, @captainslighthouse,
Notice! This is ONLY the author's experience, do not take this story as a 100% rule for CDDs. All disabilities and disabled people are different, even mental disabilities.
You were having a horrible day, the system wouldn't stop fucking arguing, you had a horrible flare up during Charlie's activities and the WORST person to notice was the only one who did.
You just hope to be able to relax in Lucifer's room.
You upon closing the door to Lucifer's room, you find Vox and Alastor bickering over something you couldn't care to acknowledge at the moment. "Lu..?" You call out, desperate for a warm, feathered hug.
There's no answer, you try again, and Vox turns to you. Ignoring whatever insult Alastor just threw his way.
"He's out right now, doll." Vox replies nonchalantly, looking your tense frame over before meeting your gaze again. "You alright? You look... Bent out of shape."
"You're shaking, dear." Alastor tilts his head in your general direction, mostly staring at your shaky hands.
You know they doesn't mean it, but in the mess of nerves and anxiety and your dissociation causing identity issues which fucked up your day, you shake your head violently, protecting it from past experiences as Vox tries to reach for you.
"Dol-" "No. No. I'm sorry, I can't. I.. I can't do touch right now, okay? I'm sorry." You don't miss the way, Vox slowly retracts his hand, you don't miss the guilty look on his face, afraid he was causing such pain. But he wasn't, you wish you could tell him that but someone else decided you had enough experiencing pain and life, they switch with you.
Vox apologies but they just wave him off, going on about how you were just overwhelmed. But it's okay now. We're okay now, they said.
Vox looks at them until he nods, and mumbles softly about finding the "apple motherfucker" to help deal with this. Alastor keeps his eyes on them, attempting to make conversation but keeps being shut down.
You, internally, watch as this other alter.. Interacts with your lover. Reject his offers to chat or relax. Why? You don't know..
You don't have enough knowledge on this alter, nor enough communication with them to know what they want.
So you're stuck. Until something triggers you out again. You wait.
And wait.
And wait. Wait. Until Alastor moves to sit in the little corner he's made home in Lucifer's room.
He takes out a record for a familiar song, Alastor played this one specifically for you when you first told him about your more containment-like switching happening more often, he hoped it would bring you peace of mind like it did him.
Whipping your head over to the sound. You, slowly, as if something in your body is fighting you (which they probably are), get up. And walk steadily over to Alastor's little corner of Lu's room.
You sit next to him and he offers a smile, speaking joyfully for someone who had to deal with this nearly every week, "Welcome back, to the land of living, darling? How was your trip? Swift and peaceful, I hope?"
You smile despite the backlog of feelings building in your chest, "f.. Fine, Al." You stutter, "I'm just a bit overwhelmed with everything, your song helped bring me back though." Alastor nods, understandingly, though the others can't help but whisper that he doesn't.
You and Alastor hang out for a little longe in silence before Lucifer bursts into his room with a burst of red flame, he runs over to squeeze you and complain about the fact that wasn't here.
"I'm fine, Lu.. Just. A mildly upsetting switch. Happens every week."
Lucifer frowns "It only happens every week because being down HERE-" Lucifer chuckles, hate dripped with every word he said, like he was cursing himself for fucking up so bad that you fell down here. "-hurts you so much, you keep regressing in health.. Please let me - Er, us - help." His voice softens at the end.
"Heh, I mean even Mr. Tv man came to get me because he was worried about you! And he's as prideful as.. As.. Um. Hm." He pauses, trying to find a word then shakes his head absent mindly, then brightens up again. Looking up at you with those gleeful eyes. "The point being thaattt–"
"We care," Vox interrupted before Lucifer could start going on a long winded speech, ignoring Lucifer's glare. You didn't notice him come in or hear the door. "Somethings upsetting you, Finn.. At least let us know what it is."
You look down at the ground, at Lucifer's hands connected to your own, and at Vox and Alastor's shoes. You want to talk.. But you also really, really don't want to. But you sit down on the floor and decide to anyway.
"I hate being trapped. I hate switching, it's inevitable I know," you say quickly after seeing Vox open his mouth to speak, "I wish.. I could just be me. Just me. Only me. I wish I could get better at.. This. I wish we were never hurt, traumatized in the first place. I hate this." You stumble over your words sometimes, choke up on others, but they stay with you, no judgement.
"it sucks not knowing who you are at certain points in time. Or why you're doing something." You lean against Vox, who had moved to sit next to you on the floor, gripping his sleeve as he nods solemnly.
"I miss not knowing. About everything. I wish... I wish I could go back." You crawl into Vox's lap, feeling smaller, mire secure as you do so. Your voice seems smaller, are you switching again? "Which might seem weird.. But, ignorance is bliss. And I hate this knowledge I have."
"Well.. I can understand wanting to go back - not in the way you mean but still - Sometimes I wish I could go back too.. To the better times, right?" Lucifer smiled, his gaze softening.
"And it makes perfect sense, no need to explain, duck.. What cheers me up is thinking about the the good things about now! Like, Charlie, couldn't have had her if I was still in heaven!" You smile, which makes Lucifer perk up even more.
"As for switching," you turn in Vox's lap to see Alastor as he speaks, "like you said it's inevitable, unfortunately, and I - as well as Lucifer and picture box - don't know much about it. So, perhaps, filling us in would be a good distractor? Not to mention, you'd also be helping us." You nod, seeing how that could work.
"Um.. I-we could do that. It might be a little hard to do during big, long switches, but it's doable and we can inform while doing it!" You smile, leaning into Vox's chest more.
Alastor gets as close as he can without touching the supposedly horrid TV man to lightly kiss the top of your head, smiling softly when you gasp and look up at him in surprise and awe.
"No one's asking for that, darling.. Just take it a little at a time.."
This author doesn't have a tag list yet, feel free to ask.
A/n: Ahhhh! My first non drabble.. I think? Anyway, I wrote this emotional and then tried to edit it.. And I think I might have made it too wordy?? Maybe? Might be me overthinking though-
This was really fun to write.. Expect more like this in the future +(plus) when I have time!!
Vox would absolutely be into handcuffs and restrainments, going either way, of course. He teases you about you could keep him tied the bed all day, and he'd still be the one topping.. You might have to prove him with some playfully competition ~
Lu prefers to keep you to himself.. But doesn't mind the others (Vox) joining in, as long as you don't mind him playfully fighting over you with him
Al doesn't do... Sex. He prefers to keep out of it, unless he's feeling particularly touchy, and even then he only riles you up and toys at your genitals with his shadows.
Al does like watching you though, likes the vulnerability of your other lovers taking you and their cries mingling with your own. Not quite music.. But something similar.
Vox loves the marks that are left from your collective activities, maybe he'll leave more after work, hm?~
Speaking of work, much to the disapproval of Vel and Val, if work gets a little stressful or if either of you simply gets horny - it's sex on the job! Counter? Done that. Desk? Been there. Where hasn't he been? Vel's place probably..
Vox and Lu play "good cop bad cop" except with praise and degration. They each tone it down, the minute you ask. Always paying attention to their doll ❤
Vox is louder and more physical, Lu is quieter and calmer, Al doesn't talk except to whisper about how cute (or pathetic, if that's your style) you look breathless for him.
Yes, they use specific themed nicknames for you in bed. Yes, they use them as Pavlov's dog type thing.
Vox demands eye contact, he wants to see every change and honestly its kind of intimidating but can you really complain when the man is rambling about his random library of shark knowledge and movies after sex?..
Lucifer is the same, yet more unhinged, you can't convince me otherwise.
This writer doesn't have a tag list yet! Feel free to request to be added!
Vox likes it when you curl up in his lap, whether that be literal or just sitting there resting your head on his chest.
He also really likes when you let do the opposite, LOVES hearing your inner workings. Heart, breathing, clicking of mechanical parts, doesn't matter to him.
Will wrap his wires and shit around you, you ain't leaving ANY time soon 😋
would also press your head against his chest. Why? He just says it feels better, but really, he just wants an excuse to touch you more
Lucifer likes clinging to you, loves when you cling to him too!
Just full on bear hug this man to a mattress and he's giggling all over, wings fluffing out but he's careful not to hit you (though it happens once or twice..
Makes nests. Where's all your sheets? Nest. Blankets? Nest... Lucifer, where are my clothes? Nest. You're sleeping in his room tonight. Especially since he begged you to with his big, wide, far-too-adorable-to-be-the-devil stare.
Has snacks and heating pads and everything you could ever want... Just an ask or point away! He all he asks is to be rewarded with pets and snuggles
Alastor simply grabs you and carries you off somewhere, doesn't matter who you're talking to, but ESPECIALLY Lucifer, he would have a... Not den. Stashed in his room. It's very comfy and hidden away from sight in his little Louisiana pocket dimension. It's not a den, don't call it that.
Vaguely resembles a deer nest, but not quite. Mostly because you talked him into leaving little trinkets and stuff there. For his own comfort, plus the man needs more self exploration lets be real -
Definitely gets drunk in there with you
Anyway, back to cuddling, he wouldn't.. Touch you for long periods of time - unless he's sloppy drunk, but you're not seeing that side until years after you meet - other than that, I think he would rest his hand on your side and his head on top yours, probably lean on you a lot
When he does get randomly affectionate, or anxious, he goes to you. It's fluff time! (Hush, I'm ignoring canon/fluffless alastor.) Let's you lay on his chest while he squeezes you within an inch of your life... Possibly literally.
Ask to be on taglist!
Credits! @idog-graphics and @pixopix, if forgot the blog for the flower userbox, I'm sorry :(
Things to do instead of using AI chat bots (specifically janitor ai and c.ai types):
Write your own chats. Nobody has to read them—they can be just for you.
Write x reader/self insert fanfiction.
Read x reader/self insert fanfiction.
Read a book.
Create OC's.
Make a list of all the reasons you don't want to use AI anymore and keep it on hand to remind yourself why you want to stop using the bots. (for example: it narrows my interests. It steals my time. It makes me depressed if I'm not using it. It dulls my creativity. It's harming the enviroment. It's making millionaires even richer, ect.)
Listen to roleplay ASMR.
Find websites to roleplay with other human people, or find some friends to play DnD and other RPGs with.
Watch a youtube video on the dangers and pitfalls of generative AI. I recommend iceberg videos especially.
Delete the chats. Delete your account.
Talk to family and friends or a therapist about it and try not to feel too ashamed.
My understanding is that addiction is not your fault. Using AI hijacks your brain in the same way that any other addiction does: it gets you hooked on the dopamine rush.
Eventually, our brain stops producing dopamine naturally because it has learned to rely on the chat bots to signal when it's time to release the feel good chemicals. This means the only time we are triggering our dopamine response is when we use AI. We start feeling that AI is the only thing that brings us pleasure, so when we aren't chatting to the bots we can feel anxious and disregulated.
This disregulation craves the dopamine rush to feel better, and we know we feel good when we use AI. That right there is the vicious cycle that we get stuck in.
Now, I'm not a mental health professional by any means. I have no real knowledge about addiction other than my own experience with it and from what I've read online. I do, however, know that it is possible to re-wire our brains into enjoying activities and hobbies outside of using AI again. The points I listed above are all things that have helped me to move away from my dependence on chat bots and I am feeling better for it.
I haven't used C.ai in probably close to 2 years now, and I have not gotten the urge to redownload it since. Janitor, on the other hand, is a different beast entirely. I've tried to quit using it quite a few times before, but that vice is much harder to kick. Still, it's been a good 2 months since I last went on the website. That's got to count for something!
Since I am a fanfic author on here, I just want to go ahead and reassure everyone who reads my works that I have never used AI in the creation of anything I've written and posted on here. All my work is purely my own and I whole-heartedly believe that generative AI is evil. It kills art and artists alike.
But anyway, I kind of just wanted to get that out there and encourage you to expand your interests beyond c.ai. I just hope that this can help someone ♡
Saying this now so I don't have to later, but please do not feed any of what I write into ai.
The entire reason I even started to write was so I could stop using those ai chatbots for good (which I stopped, haven't touched those chatbots in so long), so the idea that my work could be used for chatbots and keep people even more stuck on using them makes me seriously upset.
I think my blog is still small so it probably hasn't happened, so this stays as a message for when it gets bigger.
If you ever see my work being used on some chatbot please tell me.
I also use this blog to cope with character bots, I still go back to it (admittedly because it's a bad fucking addiction) though I try my HARDEST not to because being away smtms actually hurts and this terrifies me.
baking stuff with the big three (vox, Al, Luci) not separately! They're screaming at each other and arguing over measurements
Lucifer dealing a hyper!reader (aka, emotional imbalance type shi)
Luci with a chronic pain! Reader because I just got out of a flare up and holy I need that man taking care of me (yes, I will include the heavy emotions and depression that comes with it)
CSA/PTSD! Reader headcanons with the big three
Child sinner meets the big three (platonic, but the kid has heavy trauma because I said so-)
Drabble: what if deer!gn!reader challenges Alastor to an antler duel?
This fic has..: Silly and fluff moments, nothing more.
A/n: reader doesn't have to be masc.. Just have antlers-
• you saddle on up to Al at the bar with a cheeky grin, which at first doesn't get his attention but tapping the wood next to him does.
• He doesn't mind it because it's your alternative to tapping him on his shoulder or something similar
• "Yknow how your antlers grow when agitated and stuff? Can you do that at will or is it connected to your heart rate and mood?" "I suppose.. I could, why?" He curiously looks at you through his glass.
• "welll.. Yknow how male deer fight over territory and stuff? With their antlers - and I'm not trying to challenge you for your territory or status, please stop glaring at me - what if we did that just to blow off steam?"
• he starts to disagree, not wanting to engage in instinctual inhibitions and what not - before you explain that since he's stuck in a stalemate with Lucifer, and verbally fighting each other seems like it's not doing anything to help why not try something different. Just once is all you're asking for.
• you get that one chance when Lucifer and Alastor have a particularly bad fight, Al leaves asking you to join him outside. Its quiet for a moment before he speaks, "about that challenge you mentioned, dear.."
• you light up like a Christmas tree, growing your antlers to fighting size as soon as you're sure he means it. "Yes! Yesyesyes!" He chuckles as you, getting ready in the middle of the hotel's courtyard.
• the two of you are a couple of paces away from each other, Al starts to go on about how this is a unfair fight for you since you're much smaller in his demon form, but you charge at him anyway.
• some of the hotel members come out to watch when they realize what's going on, cheering and egging you both on. Charlie comes at just the wrong time, you get flung into a bush after being too prideful by cheering on your crowd.
• she's about to start scolding Alastor when you pop out the bush, all giggles and pure adrenaline. "Oh my goodness! Are you alright, I am SO sorry!" You wave her wave off, telling her you're fine and you two were just rough housing, she goes blank until you explain to her the situation. "Oh.. I- Well, just don't get hurt?.."
• the next time this happens Alastor accidentally breaks off your antlers. He laughs his ass off while you scream in horror about your antlers still attached to Al's.
A/n: I kinda thought about this while writing my draft of another fix involving deer!reader.. This was very fun to write. :). Edit: fixed the blank word.. I forgot about that.
This author doesn't have a tag list yet, but you can ask to be on it!
writer culture is having so. many. ideas. for this really cool series and you have the perfect lines and titles and everything but you don't have time to write it and you're terrified that you'll lose your hyperfixation and never actually finish the series
