[stark-tony]

peter, walking into tony’s lab: ok so i’m gonna need your help in making an army of robotic spiders that will obey my every command.

tony, tired, drinking like his fifth cup of coffee: have you been talking to scott?

[stark-tony]

peter: haha no

peter, whispering to a miniscule scott lang on his shoulder: dude we gotta think of something else

[ceebee-eebee]

#peter parker and scott lang adventures is the real show I want picked up

[riverselkie-deactivated20190510]

i want to run away…but like in ghibli movie. like i take a block of cheese a loaf of bread and some apples and wander through the flower-specked mountains wrapped up in a shawl and i happen to wander into a moving castle and fall in love with a cute wizard

[samalsoblogs]

me (deep in the woods, dragging dufflebag of Kraft Singles™  and hopelessly lost): where’s totoro

[windsroad]

why do people in dnd each occupy a 5ft by 5ft square, how far apart do you think people need to be? why are dnd minis afraid of touching

[windsroad]

dnd minis standing five feet apart in a dungeon cuz they’re not gay

[brunhiddensmusings]

look, if the guy to my left has to do the turbo-macarena while charging a bolt of flesh melting while the guy on my right is doing every bruce lee move at the same time and the guy in front of me is flourishing a broadaxe like hes doing yo-yo tricks im going to give each of them enough floorspace to not liquefy myself

[pileofknives]

[batmanego]

if she’s ur girl why is she attaching a radio collar to me to see how i migrate and behave

[youthbookreview]

When a friend is reading one of your favorite books and you’re trying to be inconspicuous as you read over their shoulder

(See also: “What part are you at?” “Where are you at now?” “What’s happening in the book right now?”)

[valtsv]

verizon trying to sell tumblr is like a white middle class family in a horror film trying desperately to sell off their demon infested property in the hopes that the curse will transfer onto someone else

[squeeful]

[friendly-animals]

(Source)

[hydrogen-by-moon-deactivated201]

[probablybadrpgideas]

The party is all half human  half other races looking for their shared human parent.

[venlafaxine-rx]

Change your url op

[generic-goblin]

Human Bard when he sees his gaggle of bastards stumbling into the tavern:

[tolkien-shitposting]

[tolkien-shitposting]

[tolkien-shitposting]

[captin-owl]

image how much better if everyone, adults, teens, younger kids, all got recess. like if everyone got 45 minutes to an hour to just play around outside, do fun things, be “childish” and things

[captin-owl]

like my post you cowards, imagine it!

[allbeesarelesbians]

a judge: the court will now take a recess

all the lawyers: [scramble to put on sneakers and get to the playground first]

[datachapel]

i had the funniest fucking dream i was hanging out with michael jackson and someone asked him what his pronouns were and he said “he/hee!” and i woke up crying

[birthdaypigeon]

could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like… indigenous ppl’s religions….

[birthdaypigeon]

girl in horror movie holding a bible open: “according to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.”

girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”

horror movie jock: “it’s only a myth, don’t worry”

[danidraws]

It’s Mother’s Day coming up, so I’m thinking of all the women in my life and all the awesome roles they play (mothers, non-mothers, and never-mothers alike).

http://everythingisgoingtobeokcomic.com/well-behaved-women