this is so tender
this must be something about really loving your human because my cat heard it and ran up and instantly started cuddling me and rubbing against my arm

Kaledo Art

tannertan36

blake kathryn

Discoholic đȘ©

titsay

if i look back, i am lost

#extradirty
occasionally subtle
taylor price
KIROKAZE
Misplaced Lens Cap
Xuebing Du
Three Goblin Art
Not today Justin

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation

@theartofmadeline
dirt enthusiast
ojovivo

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@realityhasbroken-blog
this is so tender
this must be something about really loving your human because my cat heard it and ran up and instantly started cuddling me and rubbing against my arm
To avoid eye contact, k i s s.
That time I played Never Have I Ever with Party Gays
I AM FUCKING DYINGGGGG
IM LITERALLY CRYINGGG
insp.
french recipes: if youâre not making this in paris then whatâs the point. fuck you
italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house
american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked
chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.Â
English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay thatâs it enjoy
Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isnât quite right. I donât know what to tell you.
Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie
Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.
Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three
Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.
German recipes: attempt to read the yellowed 100 year old piece of paper and then just end up adding sauerkraut
Russian recipes: borscht, blini, herring under shuba, shashlyk, dumplings, pirozhki, pickled shit, PUT 1 MILLION LITRES OF MAYO EVERYWHERE MMMM YAAAAS I CAN SWIMM IN THAT MORE PICKLED SHIT PICKLED SHIT ALL THE WAY WITH BOILED POTATOES MMMM YES PLEASE
Swedish recipes: okay so youâre gonna do this, but donât add the rum, thatâs too French. Add vanilla instead. Oh, and add so much butter Paula Dean will cry from the glory.
College Recipe
Just add water and microwave for 30 seconds
Bulgarian recipes: If it doesnât taste good, add yoghurt.Â
Croatian recipes: Youâre in a midlife crisis? You got a stomachache or a toothache? Or cancer? Countryâs a corrupted lil shit? Add Rakija to your system between every eyeblink you make!
Malaysian recipes: Not delicious? Add in Ajinomoto
Javanese recipes: sugar and spice, and everything rice
Texan recipes: Smoke your meat and barbecue that shit. Not delicious yet dEEP FRY THAT FUCKER! STILL NOT WORTHY OF SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY?! A D D. M O R E Â R E D Â M E A T ! !
Norwegian recipes: turn oven to 225 degrees celsius and heat the frozen pizza, or just boil the head of a sheep.
This isnât a meme but I still wanted to share this with you guys
She knows whatâs coming.
Green Bucket Helm of Fortitude 28 Armor Rating +3 Strength +5 Constitution +2 Perception
idratherbedrinkingtea:
call me maybe performed with bottles
Mangalica is a rare breed of pig of Hungarian origin that have wool or fur resembling a sheepâs.Â
ummm i love her
They also come in ginger:
FLUFFY PIGS
Look at the bABIES
It occurs to me that as much as âhumans are the scary onesâ fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly friendly or curious ones.
I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought âIâm gonna ride on that thing!â?
And put a human near any canine predator and thereâs a strong chance of said human yelling âPUPPY!â and initiating playful interaction with it.
And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide âIâm gonna swim with our splashy danger friends!â
Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest aliens out there and say âHeck with it. Iâm gonna hug âem.â
âWhy?!â
âI dunno. I gotta hug âem.â
And itâs like the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends.
âCommander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans.â âWhy? Are they more aggressive than we anticipated?â âIt seems to be the opposite Commander. Just this morning a crewman nearly lost their hand when attempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world. Their reaction to the attack was to call the creature a âmean kittyâ and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readily with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed. I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxyâs fauna.â âI see what you mean. So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer. And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these âpuppiesâ so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated.Â
Ehehehe I love this! Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 90% cuter and more epic
Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone.
âSo I hear that youâve just recruited a human for your ship.â
âYes, itâs the first time that Iâve worked with these species, but they come highly recommended. Say, youâve worked with a few, what tips can you give me? Iâd hate to have some kind of cultural misunderstanding if itâs avoidable.â
âThe first rule of working with humans is never leave them unsupervised.â
âWait, what?â
âIâm serious. Donât do it. Things. Happen.â
âBut wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least one on board?â
âAbsolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are excellent innovators, and are psychologically very resilient. If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded wth your crew properly can be invaluable. Treat your human well and you should get the best out of them as a crew member. Their ability to get on with almost any species is legendary.â
âBut Toks, didnât you just sayâŠâ
âThe trouble is that they will potentially try to bond with anything. If you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of trouble they can get themselves into. It was sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him.â
âCrown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pixia?â
âThe very same. Surprisingly good sense of humour. But donât even get me started on that one time with the Dunlip. Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it. As a pet.â
âAÂ Dunlip? You mean the 3 metre tall apex predators from Jowun?â
âYup. Donât leave your humans unsupervised.â
âIâll uh, take that under advisement.â
âSeriously. Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they will make their own. I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get⊠creative. Donât even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby. Three weeks in and when we finally caught the wretched thing, half the humans on crew tried to revolt about us âkillingâ Stabby by removing the knife. âHow⊠how did you resolve that sir?â âGlaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead. Quite a creative solution, I suppose.â âAnd that sated the humans? âWorse.â âWorse?â âThey thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on springs to both and held mock battles. Then decided Stabby and Knifey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage fights between them any more.â
THROUGH A RAPISTâS EYESâ (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)
An Article from Neena Susan Thomas
âThrough a rapistâs eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewâŠed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whoâs clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they donât have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isnât worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys youâre not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: canât believe it is so cold out here, weâre in for a bad winter. Now that youâve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said theyâd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you canât beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh â HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guyâs parts it is extremely painful. You might think that youâll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and heâs out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, donât dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but youâd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL âŠ.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from youâŠ. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver wonât see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DONâT DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driverâs side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked âfor helpâ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and itâs better safe than sorry.
If u have compassion reblog this post. âHelping hands are better than Praying Lipsâ â give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog thisâŠ.Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.â
EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this
it just makes me angry that women need this.. but we do and if you see this, PLEASE REBLOG. it doesnât matter if you are a male or a female. by reblogging this, you might save someoneâs life.
Donât scroll past this, itâs so important
nothing to do with what my posts are normally about but this is SO damn important!! donât scroll past without reading and / or reblogging!
this is fucking important. Idc if your blog is perfect, fucking reblog this. It may save someone.
Not what I reblog onto here normally but this is important.
NEVER NOT REBLOG THIS
Hi hello even if you are not a woman please reblog this.
Please please please reblog thisÂ
seriously take the time to read this fully through, even if you are busy it is so important and vital, please!!!
Iâve been taught all of this stuff from my mother who is like a police woman. This is important.
â Phillip Pullman from The Amber Spyglass
The Longer the Friendship, the Meaner You Get đ€đ€ (W/ @jonerstrokes & Talyn)
srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time
like where if he knows a girl doesnât necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him
if she doesnât want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.
she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact
itâs a f***ing trap
SECOND STORY TIME
So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I donât really respond, I donât even look at him, just give half-hearted âmhmâs and âohâs, as I donât want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.
Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didnât know how to answer. So I just didnât. He didnât let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a âno thanksâ and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, âWell, can I at least have a hug before you go if you wonât go on a date with me?âÂ
This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off⊠So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I donât stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that.Â
AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, âDid you request the stop?â I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, âDo you want to get off?â I give a quiet âmhmâ and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-
âIf some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?â And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.
So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.
Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.
Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, âNo, because youâre creepy/creeping me outâ and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say âI do not want to be touchedâ and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.
It: 1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help. 2. Contains words so that if youâre in a public place but people arenât necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some peopleâs attention. 3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.
Hopes this also helps, guys, and Iâm so sad that this has to even be a post we need.
Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) donât be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem
How do you kill a God?
Aphrodite laughs, head tossed back with stars in her hair, âWe are immortal. We are ageless. We will never die.âÂ
How do you kill a God?
Hera sighs, âYou rob them of love and loyalty. They will be alone and unhappy, and eternity will seem like a punishment, but it is not death.âÂ
How do you kill a God?
Zeus declares, rather confidently, âYou deny them their power. Poseidon nods his head in agreement. âThey will be weak and defeated, perhaps even chopped up into pieces, but it is not death.âÂ
How do you kill a God?
Apollo closes his eyes. âYou strip them of their senses. Their eyes, and they cease to see. Their ears, and they are rendered silent. They will be in the dark, conscious and cut off for millennium, but it is not death.â
How do you kill a God?
Hades whispers, though still his voice carries, âWith another God. An immortal for an immortal. Era for an Era. A celestial being to strip anotherâs soul. He pauses, the rest are silent. âA God for a God.â
L.H.Z // How do you kill a God?
My sensitive self canât take this. this is beautiful đ«đąđ
I love Gordon.
Sheâs blind and he was making all the points about the pie in a way she could respond to: sound. He is an amazing man