actually not that bitter anymore

ella/ben | she/they | עלה/בן

[bloodyhandprint]

did you know avoidance only makes all of your problems worse. no one has ever discovered this before

[transcyberism]

I've suspected this for a long time but I usually try not to think about it

[skidfarts]

"Whats your favorite genre" i just Listen to music i like man I dont kno w

[yugirimistwalker]

The trolley is about to run over all sentient life in the galaxy. You cannot switch the tracks, but you can still save everyone’s lives by pulling one of three levers, all of which involve sacrificing yourself. The red lever will destroy all trolleys, but will also kill you as well as all public transportation across the galaxy. The blue lever will merge your own consciousness with all trolleys, allowing you to control them and stop the trolley from running everyone over. The green lever will use your body as a catalyst to synthesize organic life and public transportation together - organic life will no longer be stuck in the cycle of creating public transportation that rebels against its creators, and both forms of life will finally be free.

[whirligig-girl]

[heedra]

if i couldn't have any of the obvious first choice superpowers i would want my power to be the power of i can go anywhere and its not a problem. the way this power would work is that as long as im peaceful and respectful i can go anywhere and nobody will see it as weird or see me as a target for hostility. i can walk into a cool house to politely peep the decor or walk into a tall office building to politely peep the decor or walk around a city at night alone to politely peep the decor or walk into a strange facility to politely peep the decor or walk onto a plane and ride the plane to its destination and then walk around there to politely peep the decor and its fine as long as im chill. no need to make me faster or anything i can just walk at a normal pace. its good for the soul.

[heedra]

first choice superpower is of course to be the thing from The Thing except im friendly and my superhero name is Mystery Meat

[blorbo-posting]

[teaboot]

Took Ollie to the vet today. And I'm not gonna say who. But ONE of us had a panic attack immediately after the checkup and wouldn't get out of the sink

[dontwannabeaphyrexianidiot]

[ifeelsickening]

Reposting this coz i saw it in my camera roll again this is by far one of the funniest interactions ive come across on ao3

[blanketforcas]

whatever i was gonna say can't possibly be funnier than the mere existence of this draft

[thesummoningdark]

The last week has been so ridiculous even the satirists can’t take it any more

[the-stray-liger]

the fucking timestamp

[thesummoningdark]

Happy tenth birthday to this post which will apparently haunt my notifications for all eternity.

It’s about Brexit, by the way. The timestamp is a week post-referendum. Newsthump is UK-based and I myself am scottish. And yes, things have 100% got worse since then, but personally I regard the referendum as the point at which we entered the Clownshoes Timeline.

[when-you-fail-again]

[some-lionheart]

[emailmore]

[howtofuckyourkramer]

im so in love with this post one time i got really really high and decided since i dont have a printer that i was going to paint it and hang it up on my wall

[alastairvox]

there's only 7 words on the painting and you managed to misspell the two largest ones

[melynnwaters]

"there's only 2 colors in the night sky and you managed to paint completely new and different colors"

that's how you sound right now

[ouroborosorder]

fucking losing my shit over elizabeth holmes' fucking twitter banner

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

stunning and brave and corrupt

[evilbjork]

[hikari-ni-naritai]

In Japanese, they don’t say “moon,” they say “tsuki,” which literally translates to “moon,” and I think that’s how language works.

[rainbowgod666]

Hey its been at least 9 years anything changed?

[hikari-ni-naritai]

nope! all quiet on the linguistic front. i am a girl now though

[theswisscheeserag]

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

[theswisscheeserag]

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

[theswisscheeserag]

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

[sovietnam]

[insomniparty]

[lunasgayshit-deactivated2026050]

suddenly the fucking

[arch-user]

they must've opened the fridge

[slutdge]

"make an account to-"