100% Factual Vin Diesel Information

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Vin Diesel can breathe through his ass like a frog. 

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Vin Diesel is the cleanest of all diesel-powered vehicles, having never emitted black smoke at any point during his 30-year film career.

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Vin Diesel has a higher compression ratio than most diesel engines: approximately 69:1 as opposed to the average 18:1. He detonates approximately once per year, whenever a Fast and Furious movie is released with a scene where he gets really angry. With such low friction loss, Mr. Diesel represents something close to a real-world model of the ideal thermodynamic Otto cycle.

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Vin Diesel inspired the Dungeons and Dragons cantrip “Diesel,” which causes a character to speak in a voice so low and powerful that nearby puddles of diesel fuel explode with a loud bang, causing enemies within a five-foot range to take 1d6 thunder damage. 

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Vin Diesel personally recorded his line, “I am Groot,” in fifteen different foreign language dubs of the 2008 hit Guardians of the Galaxy, amassing over 12,000 hours on Duolingo in pursuit of equitable access to the most authentic version of the iconic line. In return for his diligent service and dedication, the Duolingo owl gifted him an owl pellet containing the complete skeleton of a two-headed mouse. 

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Vin Diesel is not the beloved actor/producer/director/screenwriter’s given name! His full name is Vintage Low-Sulphur Biodiesel.

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Vin Diesel’s voice vibrates at a frequency that can cause ripples in nearby pools of water, much like this standing bell (also called a Tibetan singing bowl). 

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Vin Diesel lived through the elections of Barack Obama in both 2012 and 2008. Did you?

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Astrologically, Vin Diesel is a Cancer. Metaphorically, he is not; he did a great job playing Dominic Toretto in the Fast and the Furious franchise.

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Vin Diesel was born simultaneously in Alameda County, CA and New York City, NY. This was possible because of his mother’s profession as an astrologer, which gives her access to powers beyond mortal comprehension.