Red Apprentice

(they/them) Guess I'm back

[shiisiln]

help!

So I fucked up and forgot about an automatic payment, and my bank account is not -58$

If anyone would be willing to help me out, my paypal is [email protected]

If you check out my pinned post i have some examples of my art, I would love to do some commissions for you, I draw, write, color, do photo collages, I could do some beta reading or sensitivity editing

I also have zines and such for sale at rowantreepro.itch.io

If you can't buy anything, a share would be hugely appreciated, thanks!

[everythingfox]

Sound up

[deer-knight]

six weeks post top surgery - i went for a run for the first time in 4 years. 

i used to run nearly every day. from around middle school to the middle of my time at uni i ran almost daily. i rarely missed it. i ran on roads, trails, the track, and almost always with my dog. he’s gone now, but he was my favorite running and adventuring company.

as my dysphoria worsened, running got harder. it brought me too close to my body. made me too aware. i couldn’t bear to do this thing i loved so much. at some point, i stopped running altogether. i found other ways to be active, but i just couldn’t run.

i ran today. not very far, and with a pause to cry and celebrate and catch my breath, but i ran. my body isn’t a cage anymore. i feel at home here now. i belong here.

i ran to the woods, and followed a trail that leads to a gorgeous overlook. i stopped there and i looked out at the mountains and the golden autumn sunlight on leaves, and i hugged myself and i cried and expressed my gratitude to the wind and the trees. i was always meant to be this way.

i wore a tshirt and cargo shorts and sunflower socks with the sneakers i hadn’t worn in 4 years. i used to have a small supply of running clothes. i’m not sure where they went, but this will do for now.

trans joy is important. it is essential. don’t give up on it. please. it’s worth it.      

[sentient-cloud]

Sexualizing that old man is a full time job

[sixthrock]

[periken-art]

A bit of a different post, but I opened up commissions a little while ago. Wasn’t sure if I wanted to post it to tumblr but I decided ‘fuck it’.

Out of the 5 slots available, 3 have been taken already. I apologise for the lack of space due to posting late, BUT if there are more ppl than I anticipated, I might open up a few more slots.

I have a few images I made regarding my prices and such. Check out my commissions page and portfolio for more if you want to check out my work first. :)

I do a lot of fanart so im down to do that. Im also down for drawing OC content too! (I have other stuff written below)

My current brain rots are OFMD and Disco Elysium sooo 👀

https://perikenartcommissions.carrd.co/

PerikenArt's Commissions Page

Commissions Details

[profeminist]

PRIDE KNIGHTS ASSEMBLE!

“PRIDE KNIGHTS ASSEMBLE!! I’m so excited to finally show you guys what I’ve been working on! Here’s the first look into my Pride Knight Project in support of the Pride Foundation, with more updated coming soon. :) A huge thank you to my wonderful crew, for being so amazing. <3″“

-  @archerinventive

HOLY SH*T, WE HAVE KNIGHTS NOW!!!  

HAPPY PRIDE 2019!!!!

[caroldanversenthusiast]

no cops at pride just tessa thompson and her massive guns

[caroldanversenthusiast]

BONUS:

[fiovske]

i thought yall meant these guns:

[caroldanversenthusiast]

all forms of tessa thompson’s guns are appreciated

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

@thatlowvice

[profeminist]

More Tessa Thompson posts

[majesticduxk-deactivated2018121]

So last week I tried moaning every time I ate something delicious.

It was vaguely uncomfortable and unnatural

[soupernabturel]

I actually love the idea of doing this trying out fanfic/literary cliche’s out in real life, kinda wanna make up a list and undertake it as a challenge.

[whitmerule]

don’t forget to make your butthole flutter today

[hazeldomain]

Guess someone’s eye color from 20 feet away.

[prairiedust]

Be careful with these. I started reading fanfiction three years ago and now I have to toe my shoes off to get my feet out.

[hazeldomain]

But do you pad across rooms? 

[prairiedust]

Yes but I often give away my position when I huff.

[mittensmorgul]

FYI, I’m smirking at all y’all.

[k-vichan]

I’m resisting the urge to card my fingers through everybody’s hair.

[dorkaelskunkworks]

This is as good a time as any to admit that right now I smell like coffee, sandalwood soap, and something uniquely myself.

[authorjcalamy]

I hate this post so much I clenched my fists and looked away, muscles bunching in my jaw. 

[bettsfic]

i’m so glad to see i’m not alone, i let out a breath i didn’t know i was holding

[isinuyasha]

It’s true, I quietly admit, as a blush spreads across my cheeks.

[ariaste]

you’re all perfect, i love and appreciate all of you and I’d like to invite each of you over to my house to make out so our tongues can battle for dominance

[heckinbamboozled2237]

I wish I was Jared, 19

[prayforelves]

Smiley, the shark dragon

He just wants friends and is very loud

[periken-art]

“Morning, love.”

[bellaxiao]

[falconpunchyourmom]

Parallel Earth.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

AMAZING

[thaebae]

I LOVE

[starlightandtears]

Wow wtf HIV/AIDS was discovered by Flossie Wong-Staal, an Chinese-American woman, and she’s the reason the HIV test even exists. AND THEN she invented the molecular knife that lead to treatments for HIV/AIDS. And she’s STILL ALIVE. We don’t hear about the contributions of Women of Color enough, my word. Madness.

[vodcar]

Flossie Wong-Staal - Wikipedia

Flossie Wong-Staal - Wikipedia

https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flossie_Wong-Staal

[thebootydiaries]

me: i lov obi wan kanoob haha :)

some guy: Ha ha! Right you are, my lady. Wow. A female with knowledge of cinema’s finest accomplishment? Be still my heart! Typically, I’m not so forward, but you have piqued my curiosity. A girl that likes Star Wars? A rare breed indeed! I love a smart girl over women who talk about make up, haha. Mayhaps we could continue this conversation over drinks? As a Redditor - and a gilded one at that - I wouldst make the evening magical and wonderful. I am not like the other men of this sick world. If you were dating me, I’d be the one making the sandwiches :) haha :). I am real, my gorgeous, intelligent, scientific poppet. A real man who respects women, unlike the others. It’s one of the many things that make me different, my sweet, electronic flower. Did I tell you I held a door open for a woman once? I know. And more of that to come, I assure you. Imagine. You. Me. A little jazz club in the city… none of that Lil’ Wayne/Taylor Swift crap the sheeple like to listen to. Real music. Music fit for a lady of discriminating taste. And, speaking of discrimination, during the meal I can expound at length about the crime rates among African Americans vis a vis normal people. I am not racist. I am white, so how can I be racist? I know a lot of statistics, my dearest, beautiful, white, female orchid. What say you, my lovely, succulent peach? Will you do me the honor of being my date for the eve? Merely, tell me the time and place and my mom and I will pick you up.

[prayforelves]

Smiley, the shark dragon

He just wants friends and is very loud

[argonauticae]

im putting together a couple of scottish folk mixes bc that’s what i do and im honestly curious if anyone in my country has ever been unequivocally happy about anything ever

[argonauticae]

scottish trad music genres:

Everyone I Love Is Dead

The English Have Stolen All My Sheep

You Want To Be My Boyfriend? First You Must Answer These Riddles Three

The Protestants Have Stolen All My Sheep

I Love You A Lot But You’ve Left Me And It’s Raining [fiddle solo]

The Sea Is Treacherous, Just Like The English

One Time Bonnie Prince Charlie Punched Me In The Face And It Was Awesome

The Fairies Have Stolen All My Sheep

[plaidadder]

We have of course the traditional Irish music genres to go with them:

* Everyone I Love Is An Allegorical Representation of Ireland

* The English Stole My Farm And Put Sheep On It

* You Were My Boyfriend But Now You Won’t Even Come To The Window To Look Upon Me And Our Dead Infant Child (In The Rain)

* Whack Fol Too La Roo Umptytiddly Good They’ve Stopped Listening Now Let’s Talk About Revolution

* Something In Irish, I Think It’s About Fairies, Or Maybe A Cow

[jean-paul-fartre]

oooo can I add to this? don’t forget Appalachian folk balladry, the American cousin of Scottish and Irish traditional music and just as uplifting as its Anglo-Saxon highland forbears!!!

genres include:

I Left Everyone I Love Back Home In The Holler To Be With This Guy Who Doesn’t Wear Shoes Or Have Teeth But He Plays A Mean Jug

The English Told Us Not To Move West Yet, We Ignored Them, My Entire Family Was Killed

You Were My Boyfriend But You Tied A Sack Of Rocks To My Petticoats And Threw Me In The Creek (And My Baby Too)

Mama Loves All 14 Of Us A Lot But She’s Weary Of Our Shit And Now She’s Dyin’ (Gather Round)

The McCleans Stole A Firewood Log From Our Pile So We Won’t Rest Until The Last Of Their Male Kin Is Laid In The Cold Ground

We Knew The River Would Rise But We Still Didn’t Fix The Levee 

The River Rose, The Levee Broke, Everyone Died, It Was Just As We Reckoned (dulcimer twang-a-lang) 

When The Rebels Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Southern Man And I Feed Their Horses My Best, When The Yankees Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Northern Man And I Feed Their Horses What The Rebels Left

The Tennessee Valley Authority Killed All My Sheep Somehow

[shredsandpatches]

Don’t forget that old standby “The Mine Collapsed and Everyone Died”!

I think someone needs to put in a word for the English folk tradition though:

I Met a Girl and We Went Hunting (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)

I Met a Girl and We Caught Some Birds (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)

I Met a Girl and We Found Her Lost Pet (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)

I Met a Girl By Staying At Her Parents’ House and She Made My Bed (It Was an Especially Thinly-Veiled Metaphor for Sex)

I Am a Girl and I Regret Engaging In Metaphors for Sex Because Now I’m Pregnant

I Met a Girl and Bribed Her Into Sex But She Stole My Horse and Ran Away With It

I Met a Girl At an Inn and We Had Non-Metaphorical Sex But She Stole My Stuff The Next Morning and Now I Have Syphilis

Your Fiance Died Either at Trafalgar or Waterloo, Let’s Get Married, I’m Glad You Said No Because I’m Really Him In Disguise

Lord Nelson Sure Was Awesome

The Press-Gang Dragged Off All the Important Men in My Life (And Now They Are Dead)

Farm Laborers Are The Salt of the Earth And Are Never Grindingly Poor

Begging Is a Completely Viable Career Option With Flexible Hours and Unlimited Access to Alcohol

[infinite-magical-recipes]

behold mongolian folk music genres

I Went Out Riding and Noticed Mongolia

We Fought a Bunch of Guys (On Horseback)

Witness My Many Ungulates

(While On a Horse) I Met a Hot Girl Who Reminded Me of a Plant

On Three, Say What That Terrain Feature Looks Like to You (One, Two, Three, A Horse)

Witness My Many Ancestors’ Many Ungulates

I Also Enjoy Heavy Metal, Especially If It’s Made of Horseshoes

Oooorrrrweeeeuuurrrreeeeuuuuwwwwwrrrrrrrr (Is Tuvan for “Horse”)

You Might Not Know This About Me, But I Own a Horse

[scarlettohairdye]

THE MONGOLIAN FOLK SONGS MADE IT BETTER.

[churakaagii]

now with more okinawan!

We Must Plant the Crops, Let’s Get Drunk! 

We Must Harvest the Crops, Let’s Get Drunk!

There’s No Crops Right Now, Let’s Get Drunk!

Sex On the Beach Is Awesome, War Is Bad

There Are Ghosts in the Trees

The Japanese Exploit Us (And the Americans Do Too)

I Love the Sea, This Island Is Beautiful, War Is Still Bad

Hey, There’s an Old Man, Let’s Get Drunk!

Respect Your Parents Or You Will Be Lost at Sea Forever

[damaskrosechicago]

As the daughter of a folksinger and spouse of a folklorist, I love this SO MUCH.  Here’s some from the sub-sub-genre of French folk songs of the Midwest…

I Am A Brawny-Armed Lumberjack Who Loves a Town Girl, Oh No!

Oh Fuck, I Slept With a Fur Trapper, What Shall I Tell Maman?

Hauling Logs, Rolling Logs, Driving Logs, All Day, What Ho!

Like Hell You’re Marrying That Good for Nothing Bambocheur!

Fetch My Gold Ring That Fell Into the Sea!  Now!

I Met A Sailor While A-Strolling, And Now We Are In Love!

I Want to Kiss the Sailor I Met A-Strolling, But I’m Afraid My Father Will Find Out!

Oh Fuck, I Kissed the Sailor I Met A-Strolling And Now We Are Doomed!

[johnnygreyart]

Some Italian Folk Music Genres

A Spider Has Bitten Me And If I Do Not Dance I Will Die, Alas

I Am A Very Fancy Man With A Very Fancy Hat

The Cable Car Is A Thinly-Veiled Metaphor For Your Feminine Torture, O Woman

Rome Is The Very Best Place And Every Other Place Is Just Awful

I Love You, But You Are Married

I Love You, But You Are Fickle (Why Did You Dance With The Baker’s Son, Thou Vixen?)

I Love You, But You Left Me All Alone On This Romantic Wind-Swept Hillside, Which Is Actually Very Pretty, But Not As Pretty As You, Foul Temptress

Rome Is Still The Best Place And Every Other Place Can Go Right To Hell

Seriously Once You Have Been To Rome You Will Just Be Sick At The Thought Of Being Anywhere Else, You Will Pine Away And Die

I Love You, But You Are Dead (Or Maybe You Just Went To Live In A Slightly Prettier Place)

Rome, Rome, O Rome, Ah Rome, Rome Rome Rome, Have I Mentioned That I Love Rome?

Venetian Special Genres:

Women Are Like The Ocean: Salty And Full Of Drowned Sailors

Women Are Like The Ocean: I Cannot Figure Them Out At All

I Saw You One Time At A Party And I Have Designs Upon Your Feminine Virtue

I Love You, But You Are Married To The Ocean (For Some Reason)

[snackonomics]

I thought I would add some Dutch ones, because I saw no one had added any: - That Girl Is A Prostitute (But At Least She Goes To Church)

- That Incompetent Sailor Is Actually A Girl, But She Will Have Sex With You If You Don’t Kick Her Off The Boat

- Someone Of Any Occupation Is Doing Something, But Unfortunately They Are Now Dead

- Fuck You Spain (Haha, We Sunk Your Boat And Stole Your Silver)

- Fuck You England

- We Might Be Small, But We Will Fight You

- Life Isn’t So Bad, If You Just Go Outside

- Fuck You Winter

- Look At That Guy (Wild Racism)

- We Like Going To Other Countries (More Wild Racism)

- Drinking Is Fun

- Drinking Makes Me Long For Sea

- God Is My Dad

- My Province Is Great And Full Of Nature

[bigger-rat]

Some nice Russian folk songs:

There Was A War And Everyone is Dead, There’s Also a Symbolic Bird

There is Going to Be a War And Everyone Will Die, There’s Also a Sybmolic Bird

The Dyeing Is Happening Right Now, There’s Also a Symbolic Bird

I Had a Dream About Us Dying (No Birds Involved)

Alas You Are Dead 

I’m a Bird, I Drink Vodka

Fuck It’s Cold

Frost Do Not Freeze Me Do Not Freeze My Horse Do Not Freeze My Wife Please I Have Children

And my personal favourite:

Ayy Lmao This Guys Head Just Got Shot Off, We Are Going to Die Hahaha

[varvorn]

I just couldn’t miss an opportunity to provide you a comprehensive summary of Ukrainian folk music genres.

~ I Married To A Man And Moved Far From My Home But I Want Fucking Back On My Fucking Land To My Parents And A Guy Whom I Actually Planned To Marry Before My Society’s Patriarchal Structure Destroyed My Life

~ A Guy Whom I Loved Loved Me And Also A Some Other Bitch So I Poisoned Him So That Nobody Gets Him

~ This Is My Land And I Love It Very Much, Period

~ I Made A Traditional Kupala Wreath And Released It On Water To Find My Love, No Sexual Hits Involved

~ I Have A Veeery Deeeeep Well In My Garden, And Also A Veeery Curly-Wurly Cabbage, And Also A Veeery Sweeeet Carrot Growing There, Come On Guys Check It Out, Oh, And There Are Totally No Sexual Hints

~ Graphic Descriptions Of Lesbian Sex

~ Everybody Is Dead After A Battle But There Is One Particular Cossack Whom I Am Especially Obligated To Mourn About Because He Is A Representative Of Our Entire Nation’s Young People

~ The Couple Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries

~  The Couple Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries And It’s Compared To Some Sad Shit Happening In Nature

~ Let’s Kill All People Who Threaten Ukraine Hahaha Yay!

~Let’s Kill All People Who Threaten Ukraine And Involve Some Couple Who Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries

[travelingworkshop]

Adding these well-known Cajun hits

~ I have a boat and have procured many crawfish do you love me?

~ I sure do love crawfish, boats, the bayou, and also dancing

~ My girlfriend can cook, and is therefore superior your girlfriend, who cannot

~ my girlfriend cannot cook and is therefore inferior to all other girlfriends

~ I saw you over a pile of crawfish and knew I was in love (on the bayou)

~ a list of regional dishes set to the tune of kitchen utensils

[furikomaru-deactivated20190920]

Canada checking in:

~ There was a ship and everyone on it was brave as it sank in a storm on the ocean or possibly one of our many inland-sea-sized lakes, please remember the name of the ship 

~ We fell in love when we were young and we didn’t actually understand each other and you figured that out before I did because I’m slow-witted and you’re kind of a jerk so you left me (now listen to this sick organ/fiddle/guitar/harmonica/piano solo)

~ Fuck the railroad, fuck the government, and especially fuck the HBC

~ Gosh everything in this country is inhumanly big and inconvenient and trying to kill us, we’re so lucky to live here, it’s so majestic

~ The English stole our sheep and exiled my true love to Louisiana

~ That’s Cute - an indigenous/ Métis coproduction after hearing that last one

~ Well we’re all in debt and working in a mine fucking sucks but at least we can get drunk and go dancing on the weekends

~ This guy went to prison for a crime he didn’t commit/did commit but with the most sympathetic motive for doing it ever and now he’s out of jail and everything is bittersweet, either because he broke out and has to go back or because he’s lost years of his life to a broken legal system.

~ HELLO OUT THERE, WE’RE ON THE AIR, IT’S HOCKEY NIGHT TONIGHT!

[wetwareproblem]

Nova Scotia special edition: ~ The sea sucks and left me a broken wreck of my former self. ~ The sea sucks and killed my one true love. ~ Working in a mine sucks and will kill you ~ The weather sucks and will kill you. ~ Poverty sucks and will kill you. ~ I desperately wish I could return home to Nova Scotia, that beautiful gem in the sea.

[libraryspectre]

Oh I love this post so much

[lloerwyn-deactivated20201104]

Welsh Folk Songs

The Wren Is The Best Bird (And Delicious!)

I’m Gay For Owain Glyndŵr

My Goats/Sheep/Cows Are Better Than Yours

Lullaby About Killing Things

Fuck You, England

I’m Dying, But First…A Harp Solo

I Was Busy Thinking About A Girl And The Cows Ran Away

Got Dumped, Time To Die In The Woods

Wales Is Really Pretty, Our Trees Are The Best

Owen Cheated On Me, So I Had Sex With David

I Also Had Sex With The Hot Crwth Player And It Was Amazing

Life Is Suffering *BAGPIPES*

[dduane]

Maybe it would be dangerous to add that I’m working on the Middle Kingdoms version of these… :)

[nube-1-deactivated20210117]

[northofcorpis]

That fuckin smile at the end

[bettsplendens]

To the worried person in the comments: 

No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep. 

[sindri42]

Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight.

However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast.

Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended.

[ubercharge]

this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me 

[magicalshopping]

Hey!! Friendly reminder!! When you see LGBTQ+ merch and you don’t see your sexuality!! Just kindly ask if it’s possible!! That’s it!!

“Hey, can you make a bisexual option?” “Hey can you include a lesbian option?” “Aw, will there eventually be a aromantic option?”

Here’s not how to ask:

“It sucks that there’s a lesbian option but no bisexual one” “How come there’s a agender option but not lesbian?”

Stop!! Throwing!! Other identities!! Under the bus!! Even if that isn’t your intention when asking that way, there is literally no need to mention other identities. There is no need for comparison. Just ask for the identity you wish to see in the merch lineup. Statements like this can also affect the creator. You may never know if the creator only made merch of their identities and have gremlins going “hey it sucks that you made stuff for your identity.”

Just ask LGBTQ+ creators kindly.

[ruffboi-mags]

“But why don’t they already HAVE [identity]?”

I don’t know, but here are some likely options that don’t involve “because they secretly hate X identity”:

They started by designing the flags they and their partner identify with and are planning to branch out and just haven’t had a chance to yet, for one reason or another

They have one designed but it costs money to have a listing up and it hasn’t sold well so they will do it on commission but can’t afford to keep relisting it.

They designed their existing merch on commission and haven’t decided if they like the product/design enough (or if they think it’ll sell enough) to branch out.

Their existing products for that identity have not sold well so they start by designing for the ones that do, and will branch out if the product is popular/it’s requested

They’re older/not in fandom spaces/not socially in queer spaces and aren’t aware of the flag that you’re requesting and have just been making merch for the identities they were aware of.

They created a new design in a bunch of colors and accidentally missed one and no one’s pointed it out yet.

Like, sure, I’m sure there are SOME people out there who are maliciously omitting an identity from their merch, but it’s much more likely that it’s something innocuous and non-malicious and if you just ask nicely, they’ll probably a) explain why it’s not something they can afford to do right now, b) offer to make it custom for you, or c) add it to their store.  

It costs you nothing to be kind and not read malicious intent into something for no reason.  Assume they’re doing their best, ask nicely, and you’ll probably get what you want.

And then if they do say “oh we don’t carry [x] merch, and we never will because we don’t acknowledge them as part of the community”, you can say “well that’s a dick move” and find a better creator to buy from.