Fandom elder, single, rooted in the US pacific northwest. She/Her. I'm definitely more of an internet introvert but love making new friends! This blog is a multifandom collection of the ships and shows that I love, mixed with liberal politics and intersectional feminism and whatever else catches my fancy. I tag liberally. I abhor conspiracy theories. I write fan fiction, slowly, and none of my fic are abandoned. No, not even that one.
Darren Criss and Mia Swier at The 79th Annual Tony Awards held at Radio City Music Hall on June 07, 2026 in New York, New York. (Photo by Jenny Anderson, Kevin Mazur, Mike Coppola, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Tony Awards Productions, Adela Loconte/Variety via Getty Images, Dia Dipasupil/WireImage)
Contemplating what spiritual life looks like in a burning world, Terry Tempest Williams returns to the podcast to talk about the Glorians—mo
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TTW We had five flash floods within a matter of weeks in 2024. And if that isn’t a wake up call, I don’t know what is. And it awakened our community. This is a small desert hamlet with two hundred and fifty people that live here, largely because we don’t want to be bothered. We love our solitude. But it changed us because we needed each other. And we had tough conversations: Are we going to be able to live here with the heat and the extreme floods? We’ve always had flash floods here, but never in this kind of sequence, never with this kind of violence. And it’s such a surreal moment when, in the middle of such dryness and aridity, you smell it before you hear it, you hear it before you see it. And when this massive wall of water turns the corner, it’s like looking into the face of God and it is not human. You can’t look away, it’s that compelling, it’s that wild. It was within thirty feet of our home, and we were not alone. What do we do in that moment? There are people in this valley that have not believed in climate change. It’s hard not to see the changes.
And so I do think that there is an underlying theme here that we are in the middle of massive changes, and can we love ourselves enough to change? Can we love our communities enough to engage in becoming climate-facing towns in the arid Southwest? Can we engage in a way that is transformative not regressive? And right now in this country we call America, it feels very regressive.
EVL In the book you describe an encounter you had with the wonderful late Kiowa writer and artist N. Scott Momaday, who told you, “Perhaps what is needed now is for us to atone for the damage we have done to Earth,” which you described as being caught off guard by, because atonement often comes with strong Christian connotations. But he led you to think differently about practices of reparation and gestures of atonement and what becomes possible in a remembrance of what we have done to each other and to the Earth. And hearing you describe what just unfolded in the last few years in your valley, it seems like there’s a connective thread there too. The awareness leads to a response and atonement might have a role in that in some way.
TTW I love that you’re bringing that up. And I’m thinking this for the first time. Scott— This was maybe a year or so before he passed. I loved him so much and…
EVL He was a wonderful, wonderful writer, gosh.
TTW …and talk about grace and wisdom and presence. In the end he was saying, atonement is at-one-ment, staying with, not looking away. And this is what I’m thinking for the first time. He said, in order for us to reach atonement, at-one-ment, we will have to go back to the time of the bison. And I’m thinking about where we are at this moment with bison—it’s the American symbol. Our president Donald Trump is now asking for the removal of bison. When did that happen last? It happened with the whole Trail of Tears, with the Indian removal across the entire North American continent. And now it’s happening again. They are asking, for example—the American Prairie Preserve—to have bison removed, just at the point when restoration is our story.
And, again, in June, the Smithsonian Institute is coming to Sundance, which is where Robert Redford built that beautiful community around independent films, independent thinking. They’re going to be talking about the American bison. What is the future? What does resistance look like? And Indigenous people, White people, Brown and Black people are gathering to say: Are we just going to let this happen, again? And who benefits? Who’s behind it?
Charles Wilkinson, a great writer and attorney of public lands and Indian law, talks about the lords of yesteryear in the United States of America. What would they be? Mining. Timber. Grazing. Those, now, are coming to the forefront just as we were moving in another direction of sustainability. And so I think it’s interesting to look at, in this moment where so many people are viewing the planet as one-with, we have another group of people that are advocating to going back to the frontier ethos. And I think we need to call it for what it is: nostalgia in the worst sense, which goes back to the Civil Rights Act, Voting Act, which goes back to Indigenous lands, which goes back to bison and the Endangered Species Act.
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TTW ... My grandmother was a great listener. And even though she left her religion as well, and really opened the door for us to all walk through, I think she did teach us how to listen. Listen to our dreams. Listen to our heart. Listen to the land. Listen to birds. Listen to elk bugle. Listen to the wind. I mean, in a way, all those are prayers. I think it’s not so much— It used to be I would pray when I needed something. I needed my mother to be well. I needed to feel safe. Now, I think it’s just in the stillness of that gesture of truly being on my knees, that act of supplication, of restoration, of surrendering—things come to us, they’re available to all of us. How do we behave? Where do I belong? How can I serve?
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TTW I mean, resurrection. Serotinous cones of a lodgepole pine. The minute the flames come and lick those cones, they open and the seeds drop before the trees are even engulfed in flames. If that’s not resurrection, I don’t know what is. I think that is the taproot of theology, of a spiritual life. Whether it’s Christ on the cross or serotinous cones on lodgepole pines in Yellowstone, to me it’s the same story.
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TTW ... After words comes the revelation—what Shinran, the Japanese Buddhist monk (1173–1262), called jinen or ‘naturalness’—the emancipation of the self in confluence with the ‘widening of love.’ The Shin Buddhist scholar Kenryo Kanamatsu writes, When doctrine ceases to be regarded as something external to one’s inner experience, it becomes at once the living principle of conduct. What might it mean to conduct ourselves in accordance with life, rather than in opposition to life in all its manifestations?
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And with time, I am less afraid of failing as an individual; and more terrified of failing as one of eight billion human beings witnessing the mounting sorrows spanning the globe as we watch our planet burn.
If we refuse to see what is coming, expedited by our unwillingness to make the necessary changes to not just survive, but flourish, then we are the creators of our own demise. Change is upon us and change is within us. Whatever future may be collapsing before our eyes, we can dream a new world into being. We can protect what is vulnerable and restore and rebuild what remains with love for those who will follow us.
In offering our attention to a world being remade by heat and drought, fire and floods, resulting from climate chaos—we see our lives are inseparable from all life on Earth—and when separation occurs, we become isolated and endangered without the full support and awareness of intact ecosystems. During the pandemic, the eyes of our fellow humans that we were focused on when we were masked are the same eyes responding to us now, unmasked. Empathy prevails most powerfully when our shared gaze with humanity is extended to all species.
In my dream, I was standing in the ruins of Cassandra’s Tower. In my life, I was standing in the red rock desert of Utah; and working as writer-in-residence at the Harvard Divinity School. In the vitality of the struggle, I found myself required to walk through shadows—and when I did, I saw we have to throw out what is dead in order to make room for what is alive. By reimagining home, we create a place and a peace for all we stand to gain: a livable future in a landscape of burning hearts that implores us to stay soft when things become hard. And stay strong when things fall apart.
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With Venus shining in the twilight of dawn as my witness, something deeper than hope is emerging. The coyote willow’s magenta blossoms have just burst forth for the first time this year.
Closer to where you are (is where I must be) [Hollanov][Heated Rivalry]
Chapter One: Doubt is not a pleasant condition (but certainty is absurd)
Chapter Two: if the word doesn't exist, invent it
Chapter Three: Sudden deliriums / And slow tremors
Chapter Four: Paris with all its smoke
Chapter Five: Try to be happy, just to set an example
Chapter Six: Even if happiness forgets you a little bit
Chapter Seven: A garden to walk in and immensity to dream in
Chapter Eight: You who suffer because you love, love still more
Chapter Nine: If you can stay, remain; leave, if you must
Chapter 10: Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats
Chapter 11: The sky was pouring down its gloom upon the dismal, torpid world
Chapter 12: Nothing like a dream to create the future
Premise: In January 2017, Ilya and Shane stay an extra night in Paris, after an exhibition series brings both of their teams to Europe, then find they can't return back after a volcano in Iceland erupts and grounds all air travel across Europe.
My latest Heated Rivalry WIP. Got the idea for this one while finishing up The Shape of Things We Know, took hold of me, now we're 7 chapters in and I don't exactly know how many it's going to shake out to be. Maybe 10 or 12?
Literally, straight up, my inspiration for writing this fic was how much I wanted another 100k words of Home Economics that took place in just Switzerland. I almost considered writing a direct side fic to that one, because I love Christmas Markets and they were offhandedly mentioned, and I want to seeee that.
But then of course I ended up putting a totally different spin on the basic same premise: what if Ilya and Shane find themselves stuck together in Europe for an indeterminate amount of time? I almost set this in late 2016 Rose Landry era again, but I think I've beaten the Tuna Melt dead horse enough with TSoTWK and I'm satisfied with that. Instead, this one takes place in late January 2017, instead of the All Star Game.
I wrote the meat and potatoes of this chapter WAY early (which, IMO, is the part where Shane flips his shit and comes out to his mom), I think in the middle of writing Chapter 8 or maybe 9, I was like oh I have the ghost of Shane's meltdown in me and I gotta get it on the page. Then I had to write a whole other chapter around it, but that was my little chunk. My favorite little chunk.
No because this is how every Howl/Sophie interaction plays out in the book
I love both the book and movie dearly but Howl's Moving Castle is one of my favorite books so I'm a little biased and I'm Normal about the things that I like