🦕

Too old for this shit but still here.

[wizardshark]

flirting: omggg haha that amulet is so neat! Do you mind if I hold it?

[wizardshark]

Give me the fucking amulet

[renegade-hierophant-deactivated]

Advice from 4500 years ago.

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

I like ths translation. “it would be wise of you to remember this”

[radioluminous]

[sunshinetomorrow]

my grubhub being delivered by a wizard or some sort of apostle

[pileofknives]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

if i was sisyphus id eat a bit of dirt off the slope every time on my way up until the slope is no longer steep enough for the boulder to roll down. it would be end of suffering in 47 days

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

if i was atlas id shake the sky up and down to make the laminated wobble sound worldwide every day and piss zeus off enough to kill me or himself

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

no idea how id cope being prometheus. he died so we can light joints i wish him the best

[overthinkinglotr]

I think the reason so many LOTR ripoffs fail is because they make their Aragorn analogue the main character, when the entire point of Aragorn is that he’s “the person the villains think is the main character, but is Not.”

Aragorn seems like a traditional King Arthur style hero— he has huge Main Character Energy because he’s supported by destiny, by bloodline, by all these magic artifacts and prophecies, and etc etc. Frodo and Sam are Just Some Guys. Aragorn recognizes that Sauron understandably thinks he’s the main hero of this story ….and he pretends to believe it too, spending the entire series using himself as a diversion to prevent Sauron from seeing Frodo and Sam.

Aragorn’s whole thing is that knows he seems like the Main Hero of this legend to people who don’t know better —- but he also knows that he isn’t, and that his role is just to keep Sauron’s eye on him in order to protect the people around him.

And it works! Sauron is so fixated on defeating his Legendary Destined Archenemy with Extreme Main Character Energy that he completely overlooks the two ordinary little guys who were the real threat to him all along.

[tumbwr]

[aquaticgoblinking]

@evilwizard thoughts?

[evilwizard]

i must dwell on this..

[fairycosmos]

[neenarchive]

male characters are at their most relatable when they have a weakness for insane women

[neenarchive]

when a man in a work of fiction looks at a woman with heart eyes as she carries out atrocities. when he looks a little scared a little horny. when he aids and abets. when he enables her in her killing and maiming and execution of violent revenge or whatever. i get very barbie as the princess and the pauper i'm a girl like you.mp3 about it

[neenarchive]

hell yeah brother

[podcastwizard]

the hot new trend is "guard posting"

[phantomrose96]

We should talk more about what a dick move it is to name horror movie villains regular-ass people names.

Michael Meyers? Dick move. How many thousands of Mr. Michael Meyers are out there every day meeting people going "Ope! Haha Michael Meyers! Oh just don't kill me! Haha." Shut up. Meyers et al should kill you, and John Carpenter for causing this.

You know who did this right? Thomas Harris. Named his villain just the right inconceivable combination of sounds. I don't think there are any fucking Hannibal Lecters out there uncomfortably laughing off cannibal jokes in a job interview. And if there are, then I think they've got bigger problems coming from parents willing to name a squishy little baby Hannibal Fucking Lecter.

[phantomrose96]

"Hannibal Fucking Lecter, you were named after the best chance at achieving internet privacy in the digital age because all attempts to search for you will be buried beneath three decades worth of horror movie discourse and an unspeakable amount of Hannigram porn."

[softwaring]

[infectiouspiss]

dude your femme just fucking bit me

[theehorsepusssy]

[robotpussy]

i will never be against piracy ever but i also need physical media to remain

[robotpussy]

the average blockbuster carried about 3x as many films than that that are streaming on Netflix or any other streaming service, physical media along with piracy is more important than ever.

[rottenbrainstuff]

I thought this wasn’t true, because how could it be true? How could one small store have more movies than an online database? So I googled it.

I am surprised and depressed to learn it’s 100% true, according to google. A Blockbuster store was required to have a minimum of 7000 titles, but most averaged about 10,000. Netflix has 4000 movies. (And 1800 tv shows if you want to count those, but even included, it’s still less)

Now I’m even more depressed about the collapse of physical rental stores.

[girltwank]

everytime i listen to florence i always think about this tweet

[wordswithimages]

[oof-i-did-it-agaaiiin]

[sarahseeandersen]