[mashued-potatoes]

Legit I’ve had a crush on this man for almost 23 years, watched the Phantom Menace when it came out when I was 8 and only just watched Clone Wars late last year 😂

God why do I love him so much 🤣

[limnerheretic]

I want him to [tire screeching noises] and [shattering glass] my [REDACTED]

[cartarg]

the council of jermas

[kristina100000]

really need someone to slonk my shit rn stupid style

[maulish]

© Jeff Lianza

[lowpolyanimals]

Bird from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

[only-tiktoks]

[cryptonature]

Vultures are holy creatures.

Tending the dead.

Bowing low.

Bared head.

Whispers to cold flesh,

“Your old name is not your king.

I rename you ‘Everything.’”

[airandangels]

[catchymemes]

[rumpledspinster]

Warming her tootsies.

[intergalacticleg-deactivated202]

me acting like ive did nothing wrong ever

[filbobugsnaxbyebyes-deactivated]

[funnytwittertweets]

[joeyclaire]

wait ok now i'm curious how old were you when you joined tumblr and how old are you now

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

bitches always talk so much shit until i hit them with my 14,000 Knives Attack

[hollowtones]

& BTW I am so charming and handsome and immune to most forms of damage 

[parasect]

[franzkavkas]

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

What’s a little sexting among friends

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

This is not what I meant

[nowscience-blog]

[my-wanton-self-deactivated20191]

There are A LOT of crabs on Christmas Island, man.

They used to cross the road, probably, no definitely, without looking left and right. And they got squished.

Environmentalists had a hell of a job, keeping them in their lane. Traffic would have to be blocked for the duration.

But now, they have a lovely bridge, and no one has to ask: Why did the Christmas Island Crab cross the road, if they’re just gonna get squished?

Answer: They want to hit the beach. Because that’s where they like to have sex. And because the mummy crabs like to throw their eggs into the ocean after they’ve spawned them in the burrows that the daddy crab so kindly digs on the beach.

Look at them scurrying over their bridge, the smell of the ocean in their noses, the thought of copulation driving them on…

Whew! Finally, made it to the beach…now The Sex can begin!

Mission accomplished… And a few weeks later after a float in the ocean…

Back come the ankle biters…to the rainforest where they live.

[blackarachnya]

[captain-snark]

i don’t think i’ve ever heard “for sex” as the answer to any “why did it cross the road” joke