Itachi

Free Palestine BLM 27, just here for a laugh, flat chested milf Not my art,photos, or creations she/her soon to be archeologist

[homunculus-argument]

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

[luckyletd0wn]

supid

[homunculus-argument]

supid.

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[dragonpyre]

[sevastiel]

[darkspaceboytoy]

🎵And I’m proud to be an American, where I eat in my car like a piiig🎵

[lakemojave]

If you try to eat in your car in Bosnia they kill you. They just kill you.

[asoftwrongness]

prints | instagram | facebook | bluesky | cara

[charlesoberonn]

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

[asphor]

I feel like this also implies that rome is somehow being destroyed by the end of the day

[charlesoberonn]

The Emperor Constantine loves Finius and Ferbingetorix's "New Rome" so much that he makes it his new capital and names it after himself.

[asphor]

Yeah that checks out.

What's the doofenschmirtz contraption/scheme of the day?

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.

Thankfully, Agent Pericles stops him by redirecting the Inator to Finius and Ferbingetorix's New Rome instead, moving it to the Bosphorus.

[charlesoberonn]

While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.

Somewhere nearby a painter just finished coloring the statue of the emperor when suddenly all the paint gets removed.

Painter: Aw...

Painter, giving it a second look: Hmmm... 🤔

[charlesoberonn]

Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?

Finius: We named it "platypus", meaning flat-foot.

Ferbingetorix: On account of his feet being flat.

Candysseia: And where did he come from?

Febingetorix: We have no earthly idea.

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?

Pericles: *hands him papyrus*

Doofenric: *reading* A "platypus", meaning flat-foot... oh, on account of your feet being flat!

[charlesoberonn]

To be clear, the Emperor Constantine looks like Roger Doofenshmirtz.

Also, I agree with everybody who says that Greco-Roman Candace's name should be Candassandra (since nobody believes her warnings).

[callmedaisy]

Vintage cocktail napkins 🍸

[neuro-light]

Don’t usually go on Facebook because it’s fucking stupid but this. Was too funny.

[dinovelvet]

[shitkicker-deluxe]

...Join star fleet they said...It'll be an adventure they said...

[teratocrat]

paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for experimental elective dental surgery where they fill my mouth with shark teeth so i can give worse blowjobs

[tall]

[snailkites]

2007 eBird gem

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

Isn’t it kind of fun how when your life sucks you just can’t talk about it with anyone

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

I’m serious though. When your life reaches a degree of suckage, you find yourself having to look elsewhere for anything at all to talk about. The things going on in your life are trauma dumping. Your past is probably also trauma dumping. So you have to get really weird about specific things or hope that others want to talk to you, because very quickly people are going to develop an aversion to you and the way your life sucks. Unless you just don’t talk about it

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

It’s socially isolating, which is dangerous—when you’re in this sort of situation, community is the difference between life and death, housing and homelessness.

I think the collective prioritization of comfort first is hurting people in a real and material sense

[skodasforge]

On April 4, 1841, William Henry Harrison, our 9th POTUS, became shortest serving President in US history by dying in office from pneumonia wildly believed to be have been caused by his decision to give a two hour inaugural address in the pouring rain without a coat or hat. Just a fun fact unrelated to this tweet.

[mini-wrants]

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

[crowtrobotx]

[vulcanette-deactivated20260506]

the new dj crazytimes song … now that’s what I call music!

[vedajuno]

[allthestarscantfillalifetime]

The over-pronunciation of every word is so spot on lol

[pmpkn]

Gameboy peripheral PediSedate was designed for dentists and dosed kids with nitrous oxide as they played games.

[defective-replicant-deactivated]

Time to enter the ＧＡＭＥＲ ＺＯＮＥ

[theindefinitejames]

Camera, printer, sewing machine, now a fucking anaesthetic adminstrator…was there anything the Game Boy didn’t have an accessory for?

[fakegeekguy]

Do you know about the fish finding sonar?

[britnxyspears]

gameboy sprinted so smart phones could lag and be ugly

[men-iss-vess-ull-deactivated202]

when the ogre I hired to guard the castle complains that the longsword I gave him requires a level of control and finesse he isn't used to

[horribly-precise-transcriptions]

audio: [so‿ɡ̊o ˈbæʔ t̯ʊ̆‿ðᵊ ˌǁ͜klə̃ː˧˨ə́b̚]