RegularSodium @regularsodium - Tumblr Blog

did it work

There’s a liquor store near my house that seems to be run exclusively by frat boys. They lovingly curate these bags, which I browsed today while “Oops I Did It Again” played through the store speakers. This is art to me, there is beauty everywhere for those with eyes to see it

thepaisleyelf

The update everyone has been waiting for….

virtualgirladvance

everytime i see this it makes me want to buy from them exclusively

huffylemon

triviallytrue

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

friendshapedhole

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

triviallytrue

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

max1461

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

triviallytrue

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

ghostpalmtechnique

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

triviallytrue

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

notwiselybuttoowell

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

nightingalesoul

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

bermuda-n-drangle

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

the cutes..

“I don’t care if men benefit from feminism, they shouldn’t have to benefit from feminism to support it” okay, but they do, though. everyone benefits from feminism. you don’t live in a hypothetical, you live in the real world where feminism has real material benefits for the men in your life. so are you gonna take that in stride and move forward, or are you gonna keep pitching a fit that feminism not being Girls Only™️ means it’s tainted.

longsightmyth

I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like

politijohn

Source

Slavery…

theconcealedweapon

"Slavery was so long ago. Get over it."

Slavery is literally happening now. Police never stopped being slave catchers. People are supporting it now just like they supported it then.

If you support ICE, you would have supported slavery, because ICE is slavery.

liberalsarecool

This should have been 9-0.

The fact that this ever was an issue in the first place is insane. The Constitution is clear, yet we have a President who decided to defy the law and a Judiciary who very nearly overturned an amendment.

Not a law, THE law.*That* is terrifying.

tamamita

Art of the deal 👍

txttletale

[after starting a fistfight and losing] haha okay man let's all put this behind us and sign a peace treaty between you, me, and my slavering rabid dog. what? oh don't worry the treaty says he'll stop mauling passersby. has he agreed to the treaty? i don't see how that's relevant. i will never ever put him on a leash btw just throwing that out there. so yeah anyway, trucies?

seimsisk

wait wait are we representing israel as a rabid dog and iran as a perfectly reasonable stranger? is that were we are at?

txttletale

well one of these governments is willing to sign a peace treaty after winning a war of aggression waged against it by a much larger power and one of them is repeatedly sabotaging even temporary ceasefires because it is politically untenable for it to stop massacring lebanese civilians with bombs. you can do the over the top Tired snarky above it all tone all you like but the facts of the situation are incredibly stark

tamamita

If even your greatest ally knows you're trying to fuck up all prospects of peace, then it is absolutely reasonable for everyone to believe you're rabid dogs that need to be put on a leash

draconym

When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military

thegrindingwheel

So heroic posters showing trashmen battling allegorical monsters? I'm down.

draconym

Yeah but that's just the beginning. I also want Sanitation Worker Discounts at every business and blockbuster movie propaganda glorifying sanitation work. I want random people to salute garbage collectors and thank them for their service. I want drivers who get impatient with the recycling truck and honk at it and swerve around it to become social pariahs

googieghoul

uptownlowdown

hey yall,wanted to update that tumblr alerted me that the mature tag was removed from my gifset which was unexpected because i don’t think they even read my appeals for the ones all over my art.

ironically? the first time they removed a mature tag (on an ask i received) was after i mentioned it in a different post i made that got 11k notes meaning someone from staff definitely saw it and presumably removed it the tag.

this leads me to believe that they 10000% know this is a bigger problem than they let on because the only two times they have removed mature tags on my posts about black women and girls, was when i, or someone else, mentioned it with receipts on a post that got thousands of notes.

idk what’s worse? knowing this system targets certain people and still using it bc it’s cheaper or whatever than any real moderation.. or only stepping in and changing it when enough people complain. not sure how i feel about either.