Vaginismus is psychosomatic and often is caused by anxiety. It’s also very real and quite painful.
It can be caused by sexual assault, but it can also be caused by just plain lousy sex. In some cases there’s no apparent cause.
It can occur during sex and/or during pelvic exams. Some people (hi!) experience it only during pelvic exams or pap smears. (Mine was caused by an incompetent medical professional who didn’t pay attention and used a speculum that was too large). And, as mentioned, some sufferers can’t insert tampons. I’d imagine it’s not impossible for somebody to be fine with sex but have problems with tampon insertion. I’ve also heard of people being fine with a penis but not with toys and vice versa. (Lube, people. Lube).
Vaginismus is a major cause of dyspareunia (painful intercourse), but there are other causes, which can include:
* Not producing enough natural lubrication. This can be a result of insufficient/bad foreplay, but some people never produce enough and levels of lubrication can drop during and after menopause, after childbirth, and while nursing. It can also be a side effect of medication. Lube exists, and some people have to use it. Vagina owners should always use water-based lubes.
* Injury down there, often as a result of childbirth complications.
* Yeast or bacterial infection.
* A deformed vagina (this is rare, but it does happen. It’s generally connected to a chromosomal abnormality or a condition such as AIS)
* Scarring from pelvic surgery.
* Pelvic inflammatory disease.
* Some STDs, such as genital warts
* Vulvodynia - pain in the clitoris, labia and vaginal opening. This one’s even worse…we do NOT know what causes it.
* Latex allergy if using condoms. If using lube causes more pain, you may be allergic to the lube.
* Uterine problems such as fibroids or endometriosis
* Cervicitis (inflammation of the cervix)
Many of these can be treated or worked around. Sex is not supposed to hurt. And if it does, you and your partner need to address why. Many doctors actually recommend sex therapy as a couple if you have vaginismus. If you have an infection down there, it can be treated. If your vagina is too dry, you can use supplemental lube. But you need to talk to your doctor if at all possible.
It’s not supposed to hurt.
No, not even the first time.
