Someday, rein will reign.

Today, you've found a blog of someone unremarkable but is striving, and you're now a part of his redemption.

[reinreigns]

The night always has the power to summon the deepest horrors of ourselves. They rise from the depths, from whatever realm you didn't know existed, conquering your frail and battered mind that is constantly begging them to stop.

The darkness mirrors the darkness of our soul. When even the brightest light appears dim against the thick blackness flowing like crimson from a fresh wound of wretched flesh. The witching hour seems unbearably long! And misery comes along with every ticking of the clock. every second is pain every minute is a gruesome every hour is torture and all of it seems endless! An eternity of loneliness is just a quarter of a clock -- and this effect can never be cheated. This feeling will find you, even in the furthest reaches, even when you're deeply asleep. I was never a person who romanticizes death, nor blood, nor murders. But tonight, it's different. I know it is!

[reinreigns]

hello, things are unraveling again. Ergo -- me activating this blog again.

it's been years since I was active here, and as mentioned, things get heavy. But not because of the things I used to ramble about before.

This will be a perspective of a melancholy I thought I had overcome, only to find even bigger despairs. How something so trivial, so petty -- so small and insignificant, became a massive ripple; turning a puddle into tsunamis and whirlpools. But at the same time, acknowledging that for a long while, at least, it was movement.

and being idle for too long means making a big deal out of anything, born from the despair of being stagnant.

So here's me, sharing the despair of how a little spark, a potential light from a distant afar, disrupted my long-standing and stable lighthouse of a love.

I am content and stable in him and with him right now, but could I be happier?

[reinreigns]

Cycle of the Seasons

[reinreigns]

a butterfly flutter its wings here causes massive change elsewhere

Hope.

In Greek mythology, a butterfly flies last from the box Pandora opened as it unleashed all evil to the world. Others picture it as hope, or a reassurance that amidst all the chaos, there are still good in the world.

But my situation led me to believe that hope is as sly as all those evil flew before her, a nightmare dressed in a daydream.

With hope in our hearts, we never accept, we never settle.

Hoping motivated my greed to want more better things. So, I was never happy because I was never content.

Happiness is a standard I always need to surpass until I don't know what happiness feels like. All I know is I always hope for things to be better.

Hope led me to this.

But I cannot help myself to hope whenever a year is ending and a new one is about to start.

Now, back to spring.

[reinreigns]

a butterfly flutter it's wings here causes massive change elsewhere

[reinreigns]

Of all the forces known in earth, I succumb to the weakest

Everything high and mighty is humbled by the idea that everything eventually lands.

It took one falling object to discover something so complex – gravity! It may be the weakest of all the known forces of the earth yet we all succumb to it.

This reminds us that everything goes up will come down.

Yet, I went down without even getting to the height I aim.

Now I am here, on the ground, hoping that I will go up as they say that when you hit rock bottom, there is no other way than up. But when you're here, all you can observe is how vast this uncertainty is. Thoughts of "How long will I be like this?", "Will I get back up?" and "Am I underserving?" will be constant.

Gravity pulls stronger the closer you are on the ground. Just exactly how I feel. It's the pressure of seeing everyone high in the sky.

Pride battles humility.

And every day is a war inside me.

[reinreigns]

of all the forces known to earth, I succumb to the weakest.

[reinreigns]

Fools gold.

I was brazened by my burning desire!

I know now why fire is always a metaphor for passion and all the things we desperately want to achieve because it consumes us. I never once calmed down for my goals.

Though it's not wrong, I failed to remember that everything is up for moderation. I became insatiable from wanting too much. I exerted too much energy on proving my capabilities to myself that I shattered terribly.

I remembered someone told me that an overly focused ray of light becomes a destructive laser.

Desire turned me into a laser beam.

The light that should be lighting my path now becomes destructive.

I am a walking havoc.

And the chance to get back right on track is close to none.

[reinreigns]

can a fool still be fooled any more?

[reinreigns]

🎨: DESCENT TO BETTERMENT

People always equate falling to losing. We are told to achieve greater heights thus having the perspective that climbing higher than where we are is always better. Yet sometimes, there's nothing better than falling from the pedestal we are not destined to be on, and good things are worth taking the leap, even if it means falling hard and climbing back up again.

[reinreigns]

🎨: LONG ARMS THAT REACH NOTHING

Humans are star-eyed opportunity seeker; always aiming to grab everything they can grasp only to find out that they have nothing to hold onto. This becomes chaos inside of us, until we share it to the world.

[reinreigns]

🎨: KILL YOURSELF YOU GREEN-EYED BITCH

Greed is the center of humanity. We all have the tendency to put ourselves first when necessary but it doesn't mean we're evil. But when we see every thing through our green-eye perspective, that's how we kill the humanity inside us and transform to something more sinister. We are killed as we kill.

[reinreigns]

🎨: THE BECOMING

We transcend gradually to what we are passionate about. Be careful on what craft you build yourself into.

[reinreigns]

1st of January

Everything blooms;

Along with hope brought by the start of the year. I wanted everything to start anew though I am well aware that 'beginnings' during the first of January is just an illusion as the fact remains that it's just another day after yesterday.

We are still filled with the same burdens that we carry, the same battles we try to win and the same unhealed wounds we tediously stitch together all the past year-long.

But it's reassuring to hope;

it's always is!

This annual illusion always shed a ray of light for a fresh perspective, new goals, and a promise to not repeat the mistakes we commit yet we learned and grown from may it even the hard way.

This illusion will be my motivating truth to do better.

I will redeem myself from the ashes and debris.

Renewed.

Reborn.

[reinreigns]

first of january

[reinreigns]

Cycle of the Seasons

I wrote this on my youth way back years ago and there are tons of grammatical imperfections, but the message is still accurate so yea, i will be posting revised versions on the following days to come.

[a-musingmichelle]

A writer needs rest Sometimes, a writer needs rest. She will always be in her thoughts, but still her life goes on. A writer needs to eat. She needs to sleep and to dream. She needs to sit and watch the world go round. She needs to meditate lying on the ground. She needs to smile and talk with friends. Take walks with her pets. She spends hours looking up at the ceiling and listening to music, reviewing the days of her life. Some days, she doesn’t need or even want to write. —Michelle Dana Sabado