jay •̀.̫•́✧

archive of my teenage years active @nishiotwo

[despazito]

[despazito]

[peterparkerisntdead]

spidersona idea where this random guy gets bitten but he doesn’t know it’s by a spider and he’s like climbing on the walls n stuff and he’s like you know what my name could be? Cockroach man. I’m fucking cockroach man and all the spider ppl come and are like hi!!! We are altnernate versions of u!!! And he’s like oh no I fucked it up I fucked it up i chose the wrong animal oh fuck

[mega-taiga]

i would like to point out that not only will next year be twenty mineteen, it will also be Minecraft’s 10 year anniversary and i, for one, will be popping the FATTEST bottles o’ enchanting

[margbarcis]

minecraft will be old enough to play minecraft

[lassoway]

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

[thegoodjanet-deactive]

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

[aro-as-in-straight-as-a]

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

[stillisee]

I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster

#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt#So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain#Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake#Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS#And he didn’t tell HER#How DARE he

[hollowboobtheory]

“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!” 

“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“ 

the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!” 

everybody else is like “charles no” 

at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for

[lierdumoa]

The only way Jake Overshare Peralta, Jake TMI Peralta, Jake Heart-On-His-Sleeve Peralta would fail to bring up the fact that he is bi, is if he himself were oblivious to the fact. 

Come on @morthils this isn’t Gina Linetti we’re talking about. Stay in character.

The only way Jake would have had a high school boyfriend and not told Amy and Holt is if Jake himself did not realize that this dude was his boyfriend.

He would describe the relationship to Amy and she’d be like, “So you guys were dating” and he’d be like “It wasn’t like that that” and she’d be like:

:|

and Jake would be like, OH MY GOD. I HAD A BOYFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL. WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS.

Lots of “practice kissing” was involved.

[vraik]

Jake’s mom is absolutely That Overly Supportive Parent with the bumper sticker and the flag who never actually like, talks to her son about it.

“I just thought she was really liberal!”

[owengrose]

“Look, everyone has celebrity crushes! Like the entire cast of Infinity War. And some male models. And random good looking people on the street. And sometimes you’re handcuffing a guy with his hands in front and you lock eyes and your faces are close and you can smell his cologne and aftershave and ohhhh ok yup I see it now. Cool. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. Yeah, I’m definitely bi.”

[alexeishostakoff]

you cant change my fucking mind

[gallusrostromegalus]

I have.  A new recliner chair. It’s very comfy. but I am worried.

Mochi. Has decided that the best place to sleep is between my feet on the footrest. and when I have my laptop open I tend to. forget that he’s there.

I am going to dump him onto the floor.

Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow night but Eventually He will end up rudely dumped onto the floor,  like so much salad.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Pictured: a cat unaware of the fate probably rapidly approaching him, despite me telling him three times now. He is too comfy to care.

[threeunrelateddescriptors]

Question: You dump your salads on the floor? Why?

[gallusrostromegalus]

Comorbid ADHD and carpal tunnel have lead to a disorder that I like to call “clumsy bitch syndrome” wherin if I get distracted or grab something wrong I will just… Drop whatever I’m holding? For some reason my favorite salad bowl is a regular victim. Also happens to piles of laundry, the TV remote, and sometimes knives.

I have a strict policy of never holding babies.

[gallusrostromegalus]

G U E S S   W H A T   I   D I D

[gallusrostromegalus]

Mochi is either very forgiving or very bad at cause and effect.

[masterchiefqueefs]

Two different socks, t w o d I f f e r e n t s o c k s, T W O D I F F E R E N T S O C K S

[gallusrostromegalus]

They live in my shoes most of the time, so they’re the same by the most useful metric (Thickness).

In other news, 

I tried to give mochi a headscritch while he was on the stairs.

my stairs are basically carpet-covered slabs of wood, with no “backing” so you can see through them.  They’re also directly above the stairs that go down to the basement, so there’s a bit of a drop.

mochi

rolled over for bellyrubs

and fell

through the stairs

about six feet

before rolling over mid-air and catching himself on the floor/ledge above the basement stairs, claws digging into the wood like mufasa during that one scene that fucked up everyone’s childhood.

Unlike Mufasa

Mochi is both strong and not predestined to die for narrative purposes

so he hauled his fat ginger ass up over the ledge as I got to the bottom of the stairs.

he stared at me.

I stared at him.

Mochi then bellowed his loudest and most victorious of cat bellows, and threw himself into my chair and rolled over for bellyrubs.  Which i gave him.

i am afraid

as Mochi is a ginger like my husband his father

that my son may have inherited my Clumsy Bitch Disease

[bunjywunjy]

the nice thing about cats is they’re mostly immune to fall damage

[whatthebec-deactivated20150323]

[veverybeautiful-deactivated2018]

[shimashimashippo]

[4838385854948383885848383-deact]

[criedhavoc]

[end0skeletal]

[bardstardish]

[gumb00t]

a platypus?

[bardstardish]

[gumb00t]

PERRY THE PLATYPUS??????

[thankyu]

Hearts be like, bump bump bump lol

[3828281493392929-deactivated201]

cant relate

[solardivulger]

[63million-deactivated20190415]

the group chat is so fucking funny

[electrovert]

[porterr-robinson]

[mintsyrup-deactivated20191203]

first day of school: this isnt so bad maybe i can make it through this year

second day of school:

[boke-chan]

Pi

[mamoru]

edward elric is so edgy and so pained and so hostile all the time and everyone buys it because he lost his family and some of his limbs and meanwhile al is in the corner having lost his entire body giggling to himself because he fit 3 whole cats in his stomach and nobody caught him yet

[paluumin]

miles!!

starting the new year off with a pose study because i don’t draw from references enough :’)