gettin sweaty

kendell. 23. improving my life with exercise. currently: BBG, week 5

[rekendelling]

Work has been crazy stressful ever since I got back. I worked from home fo 3 hours after being at work all day, and then looked at the first week 9 workout and just couldn't. I have no mental energy. Normally I enjoy the challenge presented, but the combination of intensity and heat (82 inside), I just couldn't. I'm not sure if I'm going to try to pick to on BBG right now. I want to finish it. Because I'm a finisher. Perhaps when I'm in better spirits I will have the capacity. Yesterday, I decided to take another walk around the neighborhood. After about 20 minutes, my boss called with an emergency I had to deal with. I spent the next 2 hours working through that and then crashed on the couch with my husband. I had to come into work 1.5 hours early today. I'm on my lunch break walking right now. I might eat a little at work if I feel like it. I'm really not complaining about my job- most of the time, I am not as busy or stressed. There's just a lot going on at once right now, and I wear a lot of hats. There are some days I'm searching for something to do, and others when it gets extremely busy. Anyway, I'm just going to walk/run as much as possible and get through this period.

[rekendelling]

Update

I don't know if anyone reads this but: Last week I put BBG on pause for a camping trip vacation. Obviously in 95 degrees heat in my tent, I wasn't doing circuits. However, we did lots of hiking and some biking (and lots of smore eating as well). I wish I could hike or run trails more often. I am only about an hour from an awesome state park for both of those activities so maybe I'll get to do some day trips out there. I also have a new phone! So I will be updating more frequently again. Last evening I did a 3.5 mile walk/run. Currently I'm walking through my lunch break. I'm still pretty frustrated about my weight not moving. I am wondering if my ED has left me with some metabolic damage (if that's even a thing). But I am maintaining my weight on 1600kcal per day, while exercising 5-6 times per week. If anything my weight has crept up. I've become a night eater with my husband getting home at 10pm many nights. I do well all day and then have dinner and cereal and sometimes drinks in the two hours before I go to bed. This afternoon I will start on week 9 circuits of bbg. I know the cardio increases as well but I'm already getting in as much as I have time for. I don't have an hour to spend on exercise most days, and I don't have time to work out and shower on my lunch break, much less even eat. I am sticking to the plan of working out at least 30 minutes six days a week. If I can fit in more, I will.

[rekendelling]

Week 8 Update

I missed one day last week- I completed 2/3 of the circuit training days, but I completed all my LISS sessions.  

I really wish I could update on a day-to-day basis but it’s just not possible with the phone I have now.  I’m *hopefully* ordering a new one since it’s Prime Day, but it depends on how the prices turn!

Yesterday was a LISS day- and I was super sad all day, but I took a long walk in the morning.  I’m still super sad but I am going to work out tonight.  I’ll have to do it by myself since husband is working.  Boo.

I need more run days in my life.  Please cool down, weather.

I also want to take a second to pout about my body alright.  I’m eating what averages out to be 1500-1600 calories per day.  Working out 5-6 days a week and losing no weight.  Like. According to every calculator I’m ever used, I should be losing slowly on that amount. I’m not. I’m maintaining, with HIGHER fluctuations.  So that, sucks basically.  I’m gonna lower my intake.  

[rekendelling]

Week 7 Update

It’s so hard to keep this updated when my phone is slow as Christmas. I don’t even have the tumblr app downloaded because my backup phone is *so* slow.

For LISS on Saturday, I walked about an hour around my neighborhood.

Monday, I went to the local park/walking track and did some intervals.  The track is .25 miles. I alternated laps walking and running.  I did about 1.25 miles, and then had to pee (lol) so I had to go home. There was someone else there and since I was only there for 10 minutes before I left, I waited at home a while until I was sure they were gone, and then went back. Haha. I continued my workout for another 3.5 miles. Monday’s total was 4.75 miles, a mix of walking and running. I feel good about it. Since it was a flat track, my pace was much better...which is encouraging, even though technically the hills give me a better workout.  

Tuesday I just completely blew off my workout.  I spent the day at my parents’ house and then came home and my husband and I were both beat.  

Wednesday, yesterday, I made up my BBG circuits, and also walked 30 minutes that morning with my husband.   I’m technically still behind on my circuits...so maybe I’ll conjure the motivation to cram it in this weekend. Or, I’ll do some weight exercises instead. We’ll see.

Last night I stayed up late, and this morning I slept until 9.  I used my lunch break to walk 2 miles in my neighborhood.  I got stopped a couple times by some neighbors who were looking for a lost cat. Dunno what my plans are for this evening- I’d love to run but it’s just too hot today.

[rekendelling]

Week 6, Day 5

Y’all 

i don’t know how I’m still doing this. My husband and I went to the flea market (huge one) this morning and walked around.  After he left for work, I went for an hour long walk.  It is about 95 degrees today with humidity in the 70% range.  I came back in sooo sweaty.

 The legs/cardio circuit...holy cow. It wasn’t even bad but I was so tired.  5 minutes in I’m having thoughts like “it’s ok i can quit after 1 circuit...or I’ll do half.  or I’ll do the circuits once but not repeat if I get done before my 7 minutes are up”.  i was like, looking at the upcoming exercises and shit getting all worked up and dreading them (reminder it is 80 degrees inside my house, I do not have central air) and then I decided just to take it one step at a time and if I had to collapse I would. Well I finished!! so that’s great. 

I know I should be proud of myself but rn I’m kinda bummed about body image n shit. My scale is telling me mean things sooo. 

[rekendelling]

Week 6, Day 4

LISS DAY

No phone means I was afraid to leave my house to go run this evening... not to mention it’s been thunder storming on and off.  Instead, I did some workout videos from YouTube.

I started out with this:

I love this guy!

And then did this, because my husband has these resistance bands lying around and I wanted to try.

Total of 30 minutes of working out, although it’s a mix of cardio and resistance.  I just get bored of jumping around my living room after a while lol

[rekendelling]

Update

I broke my phone! I will still update, I just won’t have access to MapMyRun or the Tumblr app for a while.  I was going to buy a new FitBit when they went on sale next, but it looks like I need a phone instead. 

Anyway-

I am sad so I talked to my husband on the phone during my lunch break instead of walking and then I ate snacks at my desk. :| Super shitty nutrition today- crackers, granola bar and cereal.  I’ll try to eat real food for dinner but again I am sad so who knows what I’ll do

BBG WEEK 6 DAY 3

Yesterday, I walked 30 more minutes during lunch time, and then I completed the Abs/Cardio circuit that evening- not bad! I find the abs and cardio stuff *usually* pretty easy to handle.  Arms are my weakest point, abs are a happy challenging.  Husband didn’t work out- he hurt his back Tuesday and didn’t wanna push it.  But I went along without him.  I am planning on running tonight, but there is a storm making way towards us so I may not be able to.  I’ll try to do something though. Also, my best friend broke up with her boyfriend, so I’m planning on spending some phone time with her.  Really wish I could go see her, but with my phone broken, I’m afraid to drive on the interstate in the rain.  So that just doesn’t sound feasible today.  I look forward to talking to her though.  

I am thinking more and more about signing up for a race, just to make myself be more disciplined in how I train. And hell, something to be proud of.  

[rekendelling]

Week 6, Day 3 Morning walk stats and goofy post walk sweaty face. I feel lazy this morning. This 30 minute walk felt like longer for some reason. I'm going to walk some more at lunch time and then do my circuits tonight. I may or may not update again today but I will do them! Husband hurt his back lifting on Tuesday. The kitten got under him and he had to jerk or something (idk I just heard him yelling at the cat to move). I kinda wanna try some weight lifting. I don't know if after BBG I will repeat it or move onto something else. Or if I should use bbg as my go-to when I don't have a plan and then fill in with other stuff when I want to. I am pretty set on finishing this round though, just to have completed it.

[rekendelling]

Lunch break walk from W6D2! Forgot to post yesterday.

[rekendelling]

Week 6 Restart. Days 1 and 2 I am back! Last week some serious events took place, and then immediately following I was sick with a kidney infection. Beat myself up real hard for having to take a break from my routine. I feel pretty fat and lazy for taking a break. But here we go again. Yesterday I did the arms/abs circuit which were *killer*. I had a terrible workout. I had to modify nearly every exercise by the end of it so I could complete the sets. Of course, I prefer that to doing nothing though so I can't complain much. I already knew that days workout would be tough whether I did it last week or this week. This morning is unaeasonably cool at 68 degrees, which is amazing. The past few days have been dry and warm. Humidity is 70% today, which is a nice break from the 90% range. I completed my run, only taking a break at 1.25 miles to take pictures of a deer about 50 yards from me. All time on the clock was spent running. Cool to have a sub 30 minute 5k time. Maybe one day I'll race. I would be last at least lol

[rekendelling]

Putting on pause.

I have been dealing with some personal stuff this week beginning on Tuesday. And now I'm pretty sick, not sure what's up. I will restart week 6 when I am well enough.

[rekendelling]

Week 6, Day 1 Since my husband is joining me in our workout time, I'm shuffling things around a bit. This week, circuits will be on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. LISS will take place when I can fit it in. I'm feeling pretty down about running lately. I want to run but I just feel tired. I'm not used to that. I am thinking it's still this heat and humidity. The real feel is 90 degrees. There are thunderstorms here nightly so I'm having to run in the heat of the day. This morning I rode my bike to the post office with my husband. And it was actually awful. If I could pace myself and I was in a good neighborhood, I could have. But we had to ride through a bad (and hilly) neighborhood that I wasn't familiar or comfortable with. My husband got ahead of me and I was fucking terrified and riding as hard as I could to catch up but he just kept getting farther and farther away. In his defense, he didn't realize he's lost me and he couldn't hear my calling for him. But nonetheless, by the time I got home I was exhausted and crying and pissed. He's fast and I'm not and it makes me want to disassemble my bike and throw each part of it into the asphalt. Totally unreasonable of me. I want to like it though, I just can't ride with him because he apparently coasts for days with the wind blowing through his hair while I struggle. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing he has no endurance and hates running. I may consider doing some riding around our neighborhood without him to get a little stronger. But I'm still sad I don't run enough.

[rekendelling]

Overall, I'm starting to notice my body looking different. I haven't really lost weight. At the beginning of the week, husband looked at me and said I'd lost weight, but I told him I weigh the same as I have for weeks. He said I look smaller and my abs are more definied. I see it. I feel bigger than I did before we got married in February, but I think it's partially because I'm used to a different mirror? I know that's dumb, but when I visit my parents house and look in my old mirror I feel smaller than I do at home. The first picture is me in my old room (now my brother's room) yesterday. And the second picture is a couple weeks ago in my studio at home. When I lost 30 lbs a couple years ago, I tracked my progress in the big mirrored closet doors of my old bedroom. I'm used to seeing my body in proportion to that room, in that mirror. I have a hard time understanding what my body really looks like, but the context of the room helps me see a little more clearly.

[rekendelling]

Week 5, Day 3

Wednesday was crazy and I didn’t have time to do anything. I had to go into work early and then we had church that evening as soon as I got home.

Day 4

On Thursday, my husband was off, and while I thought he’d be weird about me working out given my relationship with exercise he was surprisingly cool about it. He even did some lifting while I did my circuits. He’s probably lifted once in the past few months before Thursday night. He enjoys it, just has a hard time motivating himself. The arms exercises were so hard! I had to modify some of them just so I could get through it, but I finished them. Husband even asked if I would start working out when he’s home so we can do it together, and went for a short walk with me after we finished.

Day 5

On Friday, we had the day off. We went to Asheville, NC and visited a gallery I wanted to see, and then hiked Mt. Pisgah. It was not as difficult a hike as the one we did a couple weeks ago. The altitude was much higher, but the climb was easier. It was fun though! I’d never been to Asheville, and there’s a lot more to do there than I knew.

Day 6

I arranged for my siblings to all meet with my dad for Father’s Day breakfast. We went to IHOP and then I ran some errands with my sisters. Last night after husband got off work, we ate dinner and watched TV. He asked if I was still planning on working out, I said yes. It was 8:30pm at this point. He said he was tired and didn’t feel like it, but then when I suggested I do it while he took care of some other things he needed to do, he changed his mind. I did my abs/cardio circuit and he lifted in the next room. I’m glad he’s getting back into it. The more he does, the more he’ll want to, I believe. Plus, I think he feels more motivated if I’m working out and he’d just be waiting for me otherwise.

Day 7

Today is Sunday. It’s normally rest day, but I may can convince husband to take a wak with me. Or I might do a yoga video or something. I have to work on stuff for art camp at work but not all day. Our church evening service is cancelled because of Father’s Day, so I have more time than I would normally on a Sunday.

[rekendelling]

Week 5, Day 2 Came home from work and it was still 85 degrees and very humid. I walked 5 miles instead with these clouds looming over me. Big storms 10 miles away from me tonight. I miss running and I feel kind of guilty about being out of it. I'm still getting outside and moving but I feel like less of a runner. Its just been unbearably hot and I'm still acclimatizing. Especially since we have no air conditioning. It's a week since I went for a full run I think, and since my husband is off for a few days, I'm not sure how my workout schedule is gonna go. He gets concerned about me overexercising and seeing me do even a moderate amount of exercise worries him. He knows what I do mostly (although he wouldn't like my long walks), but we're both more comfortable if I'm private about it. He can see outwardly I'm doing well and that's all he needs to see. So. We'll see how it goes. Every time I have a break from running (whether medically necessary or whatever), my mantra is, "running will will be there later." And it will.

[rekendelling]

Week 5, Day 2 Lunch hour walk! I taught a class this morning and it went really well. The kids were great, made great art and had fun. Two more days to go with this group of kiddos. It's 90 degrees out right now, but after work it'll be about 80 so maybe I can run then. Not sure if I should just deal with the heat and run anyway later this summer. I run in the mornings or evenings generally but when it gets to be 90 at the low points of the day, I don't know how to handle that. Anyone run in 85 degree whether or higher?

[rekendelling]

Week 5, Day 1 LISS I'm anxious as hell about work this week. I'm teaching classes all summer. I'm sure it's gonna be fine- but I'm still anxious. I did it my first week on the​ job last year, and it was stressful then. I'm even more prepared this year but I don't think I'm any less nervous. Walking/running is a huge distraction but I have to face reality soon. :(