If this is a dumpster, I'm Oscar the Grouch

welcome to my porch y'all find me on ao3 at relatively_einstein or on my side blog relatively-einstein-recs

[relatively-einstein]

Tumblr is those uncles from secondhand lions who just sit on the porch and shoot at traveling salesmen

And nothing will make us stop

[theyshutmedownagain]

[teaboot]

Jesus christ I love humanity

[callmebliss]

Wake up, babe, new neurodivergent anthem just dropped?!?!

How the fuck do I get this as an audio file, I desperately need to have it on heavy rotation for the rest of my goddamn life

[rain-droplet]

I love seeing these collaborative song trains. joining in to make something better is peak human behavior

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

What will one day destroy each of the 50 US States

Alabama - Absorbed by Wyoming Alaska - Absorbed by Wyoming Arizona - Absorbed by Wyoming Arkansas - Absorbed by Wyoming California - Attempts to contain the spread of Wyoming by rigging itself with nuclear bombs Colorado - Absorbed by Wyoming Connecticut - Absorbed by Wyoming Delaware - Absorbed by Wyoming Florida - Missing, presumed absorbed by Wyoming Georgia - Absorbed by Wyoming Hawaii - Absorbed by Wyoming after the state survived California's suicide attack and continued to grow Idaho - Absorbed by Wyoming Illinois - Sacrifices itself trying to give Kentucky enough time to find the lost sword Indiana - Absorbed by Wyoming Iowa - Absorbed by Wyoming Kansas - Absorbed by Wyoming Kentucky - Attempts to wield the Wyoming Slayer alone and is not strong enough Louisiana - Absorbed by Wyoming Maine - Absorbed by Wyoming Maryland - Absorbed by Wyoming Massachusetts - Attempts to wield the Wyoming Slayer alone, and is not strong enough Michigan - Absorbed by Wyoming Minnesota - Absorbed by Wyoming Mississippi - Absorbed by Utah Missouri - Begs Utah not to go down this path, and is cut down Montana - Absorbed by Wyoming Nebraska - Absorbed by Utah Nevada - Tries to offer itself as a servant to Wyoming, telling it that together they could rule the world, but is absorbed New Hampshire - Absorbed by Utah New Jersey - Absorbed by Utah New Mexico - Gives its energy to Utah in the hopes that it will be able to stop Wyoming New York - Absorbed by Wyoming North Carolina - Attempts to wield the Wyoming Slayer alone, and is not strong enough North Dakota - Absorbed by Utah Ohio - Absorbed by Wyoming Oklahoma - Absorbed by Wyoming seconds after it finishes deciphering the runes on the handle of the Wyoming Slayer, managing only to croak out the word, "Too" Oregon - Absorbed by Wyoming Pennsylvania - Absorbed by Wyoming Rhode Island - Absorbed by Utah South Carolina - Sacrifices itself in order to get the Wyoming Slayer to Utah South Dakota - Absorbed by Utah Tennessee - Absorbed by Utah Texas - Absorbed by Utah Utah - Attempts to wield the Wyoming slayer and is burnt by its protective magics Vermont- Absorbed by Wyoming Virginia - Plunges itself into the gullet of the ever growing Wyoming to recover the sword which it ate Washington - Absorbed by Wyoming West Virginia - Absorbed by Wyoming Wisconsin - Cries, "I know what Oklahoma meant!" as it readies itself for its last stand. "Not 'too'! Together! It must be used together!" then reaches its arms into the monster's mouth, and takes hold of the sword with Virginia and with all the other states that have been eaten and lends its strength to all of them for one final attack, even as Wyoming's claws dig into its farmlands Wyoming - Stands startled for a few seconds, before beginning to crumble

[berrycobbler]

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

[librarylurker]

this post is making me pronounce hardcover in a way i never considered

[sacred-portal]

[flowers-in-book]

The older I get, the stayer I home.

[interpolationz]

the wildlife photographer of the year peoples choice award is always fun

there's a stoat hiding in that last one

source - go check out the rest of the awards too, they're really incredible

[interpolationz]

some personal favorites from various categories

[mothmanmagicalboy]

no sorry i dont really use instagram, i can contact you via ouija board, spirit box, fluctuations in temperature, flickering lights, and certain rituals. i am also on tumblr.

[plaguedocboi]

If you were an aquarium lobster, would you get kicked out for Pinching Too Many People?

No I would be Nice and Polite aquarium lobsger very tristworthy can put your hand near me. Polite lober

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

okay

these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction

[dailypattondoodles]

Oh.

OH

[lurlur]

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

[transjudas]

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

[aropride]

some birds are very intuitively named. looked up a sparrow going chipchipchip in my yard, it was a chipping sparrow. saw a black bird with red wings, it was a red winged blackbird. gray bird that sounds like a cat? gray catbird. the first time i saw a house finch it was perched on a windowsill. However, some birds are the red-bellied woodpecker

[someofusarequeer]

I gotta google something real quick

[someofusarequeer]

who named this bird

[official-ornithology-posts]

Official ornithology post

[thelatestkate]

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

[werewolf-transgenderism]

only 62 more frogs until we hit 8,000 species described. the moment we've all been waiting for

[werewolf-transgenderism]

there are an average of about 150 new amphibian species described per year so I remain hopeful that 2026 will be the year of 8,000 frogs

[werewolf-transgenderism]

I do love that somebody tagged tumblr's own frog scientist on this post. chop chop dr scherz, we've got 62 more frogs to discover and you're the only frog scientist any of us knows

[werewolf-transgenderism]

GUYS amphibian species of the world is still at 7,994 species of frog BUT amphibiaweb is at 8,008 species of frog, and do you know who is a co-author on the 8,000th species of frog there???? TUMBLR'S OWN FROG SCIENTIST DR SCHERZ

[markscherz]

[strong-resilient-indigenous]

yall we did it

we made it to boob frogs

[markscherz]

[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

[s-t-a-r-c-o]

im reading discworld and im on the third book and i only just realized they arent arranged like this

[blckgirlacid]

I need my weird alone time or I will explode