"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood..." -Frost

Hi! I'm P! I'm 18, Vegetarian. Fellow Naturalista. Biology major & future pharmacist. #MUW Semester 3/8. Just beginning on my running journey, and Ivy's mum! I post a lot of random shit that makes me happy, so I hope you're happy too. Also, expect selfies and intermittent personal posts. You've been warned! :) Highly friendly

[tortagnamgnam]

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

[unclebabie]

THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!

I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!

[cutedemonbabe]

I’m convinced bc I reblogged this on Friday, got hired at a job I had a million interviews for, went on a first date that went well, and got kissed a billion times so like hell ya to the luck cat

[ruinedchildhood]

[kyonite]

this is the perfect grade of good luck

reblog in 5 seconds and all of your grades will inch ever closer to perfect

[asian]

[shewolfofengland]

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

[deutschemark]

(x)

[heartyounot]

I’m dead at his face in the last one like “Did you even try?”

[aletolover-deactivated20151208]

And then when he gets pushed he’s like “Wait no let him try!”

[morepopcornplease]

his composure is just everything I aspire to be

[thosedarnwindsors-deactivated20]

OMG IT’S BACK!

[minimiddletons]

CHARLES IS THE BEST OMG

[realityofroyals-blog]

Like how he stands there as if, “Okay, I’ll be perfectly still and we’ll see if you can hit me this time. Come on, it is like I’m giving you a head start.” He’s more annoyed with his cuff link than the wanna be assassin.

[duchess-of-aquitaine-deactivate]

FOREVER REBLOGGING THIS.

[atomictiki]

THIS is how you deal with terrorists

Even if you go down you did it with dignity.

[jasoncanty01]

You all do know who his mother is right? You know the woman who stayed home during the bombing of London and drove Jeeps in WW2. They are trained to be final boss overlord level composed at age 2.

[atomictiki]

U don’t fuck with the Queen

[qbnaith]

His sister, Princess Anne, was the victim of an attempted kidnapping. The guy pointed a gun at her and told her to get out her car. She replied: “Not bloody likely.” And tried to kick him.

[brianttran-deactivated20120224]

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

[stay-ocean-minded]

IM SORRY I JUST RESLLY COULDJT TAKE THAT CHANCE FUCK THIS STUPID POST

[nickimlnaj]

[asian]

[bluespock-blog]

Wise words from a wise man

[blkproverbs]

Your mother leaves for work at 6:30am. It’s 7am and you decide fuck school. You’ll be there to delete the truancy phone call the school obligated to give at like 2:30. Smooth. This yo day.

[blkproverbs]

You text bae. Say, let’s be bad today. He like, Bet. He been plotting on yo panties since the 7th grade. So now you finna dodge school and fuck in ya mama house. You look in the mirror and laugh, “why are you like this?”

[blkproverbs]

By 10am bae arrives is in the loosest gray sweats. He didn’t come to play with you and yo tease ass today. If he get the draws, cool, if not, his dick is not bout to be smothered under the elastic band of his undies. Nope, not today Satan. You open the door, in ya bra and panties, because you spend too much time watching t.v. That’s always how the girls do it on t.v. Got this Nigga already saying grace.

[blkproverbs]

Yall try to be cute like and turn on the t.v. It’s still before 12 so it’s all kid shows. Being that yall barely off lunchables and nap time, you turn it off cuz you tryna be grown here. You offer him something to eat, some juice maybe. He like nah baby, I gotta full course meal right here. This is still impressive to you. You still in high school. He licking you like a dog at a water bowl and you laying there like, I coulda been listening to Mr. Johnson boring ass math shit for this. But you made this bed, so you lying in it.

[blkproverbs]

When he rushes his boxers off, you try not to be offended that they have spongebob on them. You’re telling yourself that’s not the important thing here. He lasts all of 7 minutes, head included. You pet his head, like good boy. You quickly realize yall ain’t got nothing to talk about. You tell him your mom could come back early, you don’t want to be caught. He like smooth, baby, I’ll see you at school later. He asks can yall do this again sometime. You think about that funny joke you heard last week and force a smile. Tell him, days like these are rare. You shut the door. It wasn’t worth it, but at least you not at school listening to Briana complain about her man, again.

[blkproverbs]

You pour yourself some cereal. By now Maury is on and you feel alright. You laughing because shorty on baby daddy number three and he still ain’t the father. But then the phone ring. You jump like somebody put a wet finger in your ear. But it’s just a bill collector. Back to these paternity tests. Maury says again, you are not the father! You sitting there like BITCH! When will these hoes get it together!

[blkproverbs]

Phone rings again. This time it is the school. Kaina Washington was not at school. BEEP. cut that shit RIGHT off. You laughing to yourself again. You a smooth criminal. You like why have I not thought of this before? You lay down in your blankets, and take a quick nap.

[blkproverbs]

You wake up to the sound of a car pulling into a drive way. You look at ya phone. It’s 4:30 and you got 3 missed calls. All say, Ma. You leap off the couch and realize you still in your fucking pajamas! You take off, like a runaway slave. You aint but barely turned the corner when the door open. Ya mama walk in and calls you KAINA!!! You answer her from your room closet. Tryna find an outfit before you out your own damn self. You smooth your hair down with the nearest brush. Lick a finger and give yourself the worst kind of baby hairs, but it should look like the end of the day anyway. You yell down that you coming. But you nervous.

[blkproverbs]

When you get back to the living room, she’s checking messages. “Well that’s strange,” she says, “no messages.” You laugh it off,  "Well it’s 2016 ma,“ you say, “nobody leaves voicemails anymore.” All she says is “umph” Do she just not think you funny? You leave it alone. You open your mouth to say, “Well ma-” She cuts you off, “How was school?” You say, "Decent.“ Same answer as always. Should be no cause for alarm there. But then she continues, “You doing any better in Mr. Johnson class?” You tell her you trying, but it’s still difficult. She says, “try harder.” Black mamas can’t never be supportive, you think. “Okay,” you say, turn to leave before she put on her Black mama nose for real and start sniffing at more shit.

[blkproverbs]

You’re at the foot of the stairs, and she got the audacity to ask you where your homework at. You start sweating. You didn’t ask for this. You just wanted a day, to yourself, without her yelling, at home. You don’t look back when you answer her. You just say, you ain’t have none.  "Umph.” There she go again with that shit. What’s that supposed to mean? You getting mad that she don’t believe your lie. Why is it so hard to believe that Mr. Johnson dry ass ain’t assign no homework? No, he don’t have a life. But he can go a day without going home to assignments to grade. You like fuck that. She not finna make you feel like it’s a bad lie. It’s a damn good lie.

[blkproverbs]

Now she wanna know what you learning. You think of the most math ass shit you can think of. Say parabola. But you pronounce it, PARA-BOLA. Ya mama, who got like 2 degrees and prolly a certificate or two corrects you. “You mean pa-rab-u-la?” You like, “yeah that.” You know you gotta divert now. You thinking about some shit that always get her going. You say, “daddy called and said he ain’t money for child support this month but he got you next.” This a loose end, but you know she ain’t gon call that nigga, even if means she don’t get to catch you in this lie. Besides he usually ain’t got no money, so it’s prolly true. Ah girl she mad now.

[blkproverbs]

You let her go on about how ain’t shit your daddy is. You’re okay with this. At least it’s not you. But then she goes, man I wish he was not your father. You, egging her on, like, bish me too. Why you ain’t you let someone else knock you up. She say, I almost did.

[blkproverbs]

You like girl, what. Please. Your educated ass mama had some hoe days? You’re here for this in a way you never thought you would be. She like, yeah girl, I was almost like the woman on Maury today. Before you can catch yourself you blurt out, “Mama, you was sleeping with 3 different men?“ 

“GIRL NO,” she yells, “but now I know for sure yo ass was at home!”

[blkproverbs]

How did you let her get you like this? It was all so simple. You didn’t see the headlights girl? You walked right into it. You think, you can save this. You tell her the you had a substitute in history today and she let yall watch Maury. This seems to derail your OG. She say, “O.” Not the"umph” this time. You’re internally screaming. Did you make it? You yawn and stretch, tell her, you had a long day. You’re gonna go nap before dinner, because yes, you remembered to take out the chicken this time.

[blkproverbs]

She quiet. You lifting that left foot to the first step. You already thanking God and promising him you won’t do this no more. 

Seconds before the safety of your bedroom, she says, “Next time, you want to stay home and want to fuck a boy in my house, make sure he takes his boxers.“ 

and that is how you died. Welcome to heaven. 

[archive95205-blog]

[shaniae]

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

[trainhardrunfast]

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

[drunp-archive-deactivated201711]

[burnttoastsundae]

For any high school students out there wondering what college professors are like

[maisonderriere]

[rubyvroom]

this was 20 years ago and nothing’s changed

[kardashy]

maybe the best vine ever

[captioned-miscellaneous-videos]

Person recording: “Makeup-cam!”

Person on couch: “Man, what the hell? I look cute as fuck!”

[donanananana-deactivated2018012]

That lip colour is perf

[victorious]

[friendfrog-deactivated20161123]

WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HIM

[bluesturngold-deactivated201803]

he smely

[tastefullyoffensive]

Hello darkness, my old friend… (via heIdbyhes)