Reports From the World Order

We are the staff working for the Council of the Elders of Zion. We do PR, we've got interns, and assist the elders with anything and everything they do. 

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

Hate the work y'all do, love your commitment to the bit tho. Followed

I have no idea what you're talking about. We are committed to making the world a better place. It is our imperative to improve the world and remake it in our image of success and knowledge

-Elders PR department head.

[chadchadington-deactivated20240]

Everyone’s proposed solutions to stopping school shootings are stupid and gay

[chadchadington-deactivated20240]

Like I haven’t heard a single good take. Matt Walsh was calling for like armed school security or something and I’m like yeah that worked well for Parkland.

Others said something about metal detectors and I’m like bro they’ll just walk around the metal detectors lol.

Others are saying “oh we need gun control” like a freak who killed fourteen kids is going to listen to the law surrounding guns lmao.

It’s all so stupid.

[chadchadington-deactivated20240]

Like why does no one talk about how this shit didn’t really even happen before like the 60s and yet there were literal machine guns sold in Sears catalogues?

Answer: it’s because cultural variables changed. And since we aren’t too keen as a country to have a serious conversation as to the hell-society we’ve manufactured then this arguing and theorizing is pointless.

[brantheblessed]

So your solution us to magically reverse 60 years of cultural drift overnight?

Yeah, sorry, armed guards and entry control points are way smarter.

[chadchadington-deactivated20240]

“Address the root cause? That’s stupid. Clearly we should turn every school into a mini fema camp. I am very intelligent.”

[chadchadington-deactivated20240]

“But Chad, what are some of these “cultural variables” you speak of?”

I’m glad you asked voice in my head! Such variables include:

The mass drugging of literal children

Terminally online lifestyles

Fatherless households

The failed deconstruction of morality

The manufactured popularity of nihilism

Mass sexual liberation

The loss of adventure and the pre-ordaining of one’s life

Diversity at any cost

Focusing on division over unity

I’m not saying change all this overnight, but until we stop pretending these aren’t the actual issues then this is never going to end.

[cathademia-deactivated20240907]

you actually don't even need to address all of these to vastly reduce the amount of school shootings

every school shooting except for one had either no father in the home or a poor relationship with their father

young males learn positive aggression modeling through healthy relationships with older men. introducing policies that facilitate marriage (lower mortgage rates for married couples, which further decrease with every decade of marriage as just one example) help.

additionally, recruiting men into teaching positions so that children unfortunate enough to not have dads aren't solely surrounded by women for the first 18 years of their life will also help

as will acknowledging that men are necessary for proper child development. i mean, feminists will openly say they have daddy issues and then miss the connection

[lurker-no-more]

🤠🤠🤠🤠

(Link)

[your-url-is-problematic]

[your-url-is-problematic]

JEWPITER

[sulphurdotpng]

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

Israel and mosssad can neither confirm nor deny the existence of Jewpiter. But we can confirm he’s most likely circumcised.

[girlactionfigure]

[girlactionfigure]

[News Story] 5:28pm

Jewish Space Laser Corp

Jewish Space Laser merchandise? Oh, those ingenious Jews with their space lasers and Kickstarter campaigns. What will they think of next?

(p.s. The Muqata has no connection to the campaign, for those that wanted to know).

Some enterprising Jews are capitalizing on the now-exposed secret Jewish Space Lasers Corps with a merchandise Kickstarter campaign. This post is not an endorsement, we simply found it amusing.

The Muqata

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

The Council of Elders would like to let everyone know, this endeavor has been approved and their funding is being processed.

[girlactionfigure]

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

We can neither confirm nor deny that.

Menachem

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

Source: Elder of Ziyon

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

Um ahh don't look that way

[girlactionfigure]

[girlactionfigure]

[emil]

alright. fess up. which one of you stole the utah monolith

[spock-o-clock]

Can i please stop learning of events like this

[secondhand-sheep-shack]

@uncle-beanbag probably just moved it.

[uncle-beanbag]

Do you even lith?

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

I can confirm it wasn’t us. We don’t do strange, possibly alien things.

Yet.

Menachem

[girlactionfigure]

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

Tired after a long day of training to become one of the elite Zionist attack cats.

If you think your kitten has what it takes, contact your local Elder of Zion to arrange an audition.

[girlactionfigure]

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

If he wants his check, then he’s got to go through the initiation ceremony like everyone else.

The mohel on call is:

Menachem

[girlactionfigure]

Israeli photographers Moshe Cohen and Gad Shmila won first place in an international bird photography competition. Mazal tov - we are so proud of you!  

StandWithUs

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

It’s easy for us to win. We just take pictures of our secret agents.

Don’t worry. Agent B, pictures above, was long retired after an illustrious career of spying on Hamas and causing bomber making facilities to detonate. He now teaches hatchlings the intricacies of being part of the fight against Hamas.

Haim ben Ari

Deputy Special Assistant to Assitant Public Relations (Goyim) Guru

[foulserpent]

Girl I Can Sniff 

[margbarcis]

rats say this to each other

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

Joe Biden Pick-up Lines™

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

Heading back to Earth soon! I was on a year long Zionist mission on Mars so I haven't been able to hear about Earth news. I'm excited to get back and to to all the good bars in Tel-Aviv!

-J. Levinson

[blondgingersaxon-blog1]

The men on this website need to stop consuming anime. Cartoons are a waste of your warrior spirit but moreso anime is a foreign construct pushed by the Jews to make a white Nordic man convert to Christianity or Buddhism and lust after Asiatic women

[aletheius]

free website

[momir-viig]

if you put blondgingersaxon and cybersmith in a test-tube and then shake it up, what do you think happens?

[yokelfelonking]

[reportsfromtheworldorder]

Dammit! Who spilled the beans about our anime plans?

Someone’s getting circumcised again for this!!!!!

Menachem

[girlactionfigure]

Now We’re Apparently Stealing Iran’s Snow

Last week, Iran’s head of Civil Defence Organisation Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali accused Israel of stealing their clouds.

It turns out he also accused us of a snow job. (hat tip: Arsen)

The threat of climate change and how it might negatively affect skiing is nothing new. But claims countries are stealing each others’ snow, causing slopes to be left bare, is something more out of the ordinary.

Last week Iran’s head of Civil Defence Organisation claimed Israel had been stealing clouds and snow from his country.

The accusations were made at an agricultural conference in the Iranian capital of Tehran by Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali, who said: “Foreign interference is suspected to have played a role in climate change. Joint teams from Israel and one of the neighbouring countries make the clouds entering into Iran barren. Moreover, we are faced with the cases of cloud theft and snow theft.”

Read More: Israellycool