How to casually out yourself
Note: This advice is not meant for outing to close friends and family. They will most likely need some time to process the information. Let them ask you stuff and start an open conversation.
Look, you can bitch about Straight People âą but the truth is most of them will never know how to react when you out yourself. Youâre the one who has to SET THE TONE of the conversation!
When an SP assumes youâre one of them, which happens all the time, donât panic! Correct them and move on by casually shifting to another topic (best to ask them something about them).
Are youâre worried the SP who was hitting on you might be offended or take it as a rejection (and this is actually very common)? Donât be. They will survive. You donât owe them an explanation.
Based on my experience as a gay girl, I learned to use the term âgayâ instead of âlesbianâ while talking to straight men. Most of them still connect the L word with porn. Thatâs a rabbit hole you donât⊠you know.
They donât have to ask you. Just say something like âIâm spending the weekend with my girlfriend/boyfriend,â and then change the subject to distract them from the inevitable thought that you must be the âboyâ in the relationship.
Donât pause before saying it.
Donât let your voice break.
Donât look away or if you were doing something else (tattooing in my case), donât stop to check their reaction.
Donât do an apologetic shrug afterwards.
Because SPs assume youâre one of them. Itâs logical. They are the norm in their circles. And itâs nice to come clean right away.
I did it every time when I started a new school, class, job⊠Imagine working with the same people for a month and trying to casually out yourself when they already told you all about their SP partners. Not that easy.
Iâm not pushing anyone to out themselves if they are not ready! You know your community best!
stormborns
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