Feeling is the outlet for instinctual knowledge (gained of repeated experience, vs researched experience) - knowledge which accumulated first as learned tradition over tens of thousands of years, if not hundreds of thousands of years - becoming culture and eventually tradition and finally, possibly, instinct. Just like breathing - something a mutant sea-dweller once had to actively puzzle out and then capitalize on which is now involuntary, or like walking or even language - something which at first you must endeavor to learn but the components of eventually become second nature, something done below a conscious level most of the time.
This is the story of how western civilization in the years around the turn of the second millennium AD as measured from the date of birth of the primary son figure in the christian mythos, almost lost the world, began to regain it, and then almost lost it again - substituting improved logic for feeling, rather than striking a balance between the two.
It began in each culture somewhere around the time a symbol to represent the concept of "equal" came into existence, and from that the connecting of weighing one thing against another to determine if they were equal or not. From that point the meme of comparing two things to each other in a vacuum, of determining value based only on the things and not the context of the thing. And then people would become more concerned with making sure that their side of that equal sign was not found wanting in comparison to the other side, and then the desire to be the one with more value, as it gave power. From there it was often only a matter of time until things got too wildly out of balance - society or the colony or even the economy, if not 2 or all three.
But at some point in the second half of the second millennium AD ( …) westciv struck the choke point that had engulfed the last few high points of civilization prior to this go round and while we skirted the fall, westciv made it to the far side by rapidly expanding their knowledge and experience and then using that, settling an entire continent (pay no mind to those already living there) talk about how logic overran feeling in the valuation assessment, leading to all problems facing now via overspecialization and pushing for efficiency.
obviously here I'm pulling from fisher king and handless maiden
then students finally all got together around a slogan which tapped at the essence of what the problem was stemming from, not just for education but for so many of the problems ruining the world which were secondary effects of the watered down piss poor education. That Slogan was: "Education without context is no education at all." and was the frontrunner to the famous calls of the american spring - "(come up with this) This all eventually snowballed into a New Deal package, as sponsored by the first non corporate party (nee DemvsRepub) president, and signed into action by the first representative congress and senate (representing more parties than states, a law allowing for special interest groups to form parties and nominate elections to a third legislative body, giving lobbying a recognized and regulated voice amongst the interlocking structures of federal government.
A large part of that new deal package was the building out of as complete an economic model we possibly could, understanding all of the nuance not just in our monetary interactions, but in the much larger world they were set in - analyzing businesses impact on ecology and community, but also analyzing societies impact on economy and ecology, and fully understanding the ecologic - especially climate - plays on economy and society. At levels from the individual to the family to the entire world. The hope was that we would be able to regain the lost knowledge of other civilizations, even of our recent forbears. Things which lived on in sayings like "karma says that whatever you put into the world will come back threefold" which was popping up in detailed analyses everywhere now that we were able to comprehensively analyze information and understand how things worked.
But never did we realize that we were still only following one half of the picture - logic, not developing and evolving our instinctual understanding of the world. And it became obvious something was still missing - but only after we again began capitalizing on all of the extra value added by our added knowledge and comprehension, somehow not grasping the larger picture, once again, instead running off course in the direction of our original course correction. Having reached the point of equilibrium that we could have move comprehensively forward from, but paying it little heed as we raced on, dazzled by our own speed and daring.
(tie in multiple role and role type in education, approach and contribution)
then - girl who has done all of the right stuff developing her knowledge in order to best build the value of her contribution as high as possible as fast as possible, vs that which values experiential and researched knowledge the same, calling on the knowledge of how memories are formed, and how sports players learn complex actions and judgements to the point that they become second nature.
most undertakings require both researched (past) and experiential knowledge to become proficient, but then they require experimental knowledge to learn and grow and add new value. Most importantly, and most overlooked when viewing things purely from a metric standpoint - inputs and outputs, is the ability to make intuitive leaps, something that comes from having a broad range of education and experiences which never slows, but also from taking respite time, changing course, changing pace, and finding a completely different view than one you'd ever have thought of it you were chasing it. (somewhat the idea of paleo fitness vs gym/nutritional fitness)
everyone earns a basic living, they can earn it at whatever undertaking they please if they can find it, and if not they provide service to the public administration. Some even specialized in public administration, making the complex upper level interactions their area of focus where to others it was just a part of context. while there was a lower limit, there was no upper limit - if you could in fact provide enough value to enough people then you earned that value. Often it took a group of collaborators to provide the larger values, and generally the only way it was worth it was if it was to be aimed at a mass audience - in fact, that was more or less the evolution (better word here) of the public administration. Corporate structure, at all, however, is a thing of the past, which becomes the limiting factor - reality.
but it was very regimented, still - feeling was given very little value, the value that people pursued for themselves was always what the graphs could tell them they needed to add value, what they understood would add value - few strayed outside of those lines. Eventually the analysis became constant and ongoing, and were adopted into the body - small implants which continually read bio and mental feedback patterns, which you would eventually sort into your own method of feedback and reporting, or buy a pre-fab suite of tools for specific applications, customizing them if you truly applied yourself (like 100 milers driving clubs)
you were born, your parents raised you well, turning over a year of their stake in you at each birthday, to be divided between the community holding, the educational holding and yourself. At 18 you reached majority and you then tithed only to follow value - if you continued to gain value from that which your parents provided you with, they received tithings off of those portions, same with your teachers. and if you continued to gain value out of interacting with them, then you continued to interact with them. It wasn't ruining the world, not like we'd almost ruined it before, but still, something wasn't right. We all did for the most part, the right things. And we invented new things. We were pleasant and warm and caring to each other, we had become amazing stewards of our environment - we were even paying serious attention to fostering sentience in our animal brethren. And we were doing none of it under coercion (other than general obligation, which people met with varying degrees of commitment), but that didn't make it free will either, and something, some spark of life, was lost - or in serious risk of going out. When all of your decisions and actions became essentially logic operators based on input - you were intelligent, yes … but perhaps not sentient any longer.
That is what she said anyways. She had that look that people work so hard for in the gyms and spas - that look of utter balance in her muscles and carriage, that completely relaxed yet tightly coiled physique, and perfect comfort in her body and its motions. yet she insists she rarely sees the inside of the gym. Today she's taken me to see what she does instead.
The train doors pull open and the air instantly changes texture and smell, the damp spray of Great Falls floating into the cabin on sunbeams. The crowd takes a collective breath of appreciation and debarks, walking down the stairs. I love Great Falls - it invokes an inner quiet that I don't understand but which I quietly treasure - and which I'm sure I can see an effect of, on my value - if only I could parse out the equation I see hiding in the delta-feed.
I'm headed for the overlook when she pulls me away, mischievously, towards the lower locks. I look again towards the floating cloud of spray when she taps me with whatever she has just taken out of her bag, holding them out to me insistently. They are rubber soled glove shoes. I give her a look but she's already down on the ground wrangling another pair onto her own feet. I give a surrendering sigh and sit down next to her, slipping off my sandals and fiddling with my toes until they're on properly. She grabs my shoes and shoved them in her bag.
Ok, lets stretch, she says, and drops into a perfect down dog, then shifting her weight forward until it was evenly distributed between her toes and hands, lowering her body down, plank-like until her nose brushed the floor, then turning her toes under and letting her pelvis sink to the floor as she straightened her arms, coming into cobra momentarily before rising back up into down dog and then transitioning into warrior 1. Here she paused, grinning at my dumfounded stare.
"Heike! I didn't know you were a dancer! And a damn fine one at that, I've only rarely seen flow like that, only from the Capitol troupe."
"Why thank you! But, I'm not a dancer."
"What? But, gymnast, then? Swimmer?"
"No, No. I guess you could say I'm a scholar."
"Who are you kidding, with that body. You're no scholar."
"We'll see about that. Come on, lets finish up so we can run." She says as she continues her vinyasa and does a back bending walkover, taking a few steps on her hands with her feet and legs all akimbo the air before dropping back upright, feet on the ground, springing into a jogging stance.
"Ok, lead the way." I say. We set off down the canal towpath at a slow run, warming up our muscles as we glide over the gravel and dodge the cyclists and boaters. Passing a troupe of tattooed play boaters we get appreciative whistles, and she spins around while continuing to make forward motion, making eye contact with all of the young bucks, a mischievous smile on her face.
I almost miss it when she cuts abruptly off of the trail, angling down a dirt path. I follow and pretty soon we're hopping small builders and cresting small hills, dodging the occasional tree as we go. Pretty soon the air gets misty and damp and the earth falls away from the rock at our feet until we're running on bare granite. Suddenly the ground begins to pull apart, as we race across the flood plain of the might Potomac River. Every spring the torrential rains and snowmelt pour down this gorge and toss large trees like they were toothpicks and leave behind a changed and foreign landscape in their wake. My favorites are the cairns, where some rocks collected and were swirled by the water until the began to grind away an indentation and eventually a deep hole for themselves. Some are larger than my student apartment. I wonder idly if proto humans ever lived in cairns.
Pretty soon I'm weaving my way across the crevasses fairly well, having built up a reliable short-term set of analyses for which crevasses to jump and how. I wonder what great pro-set she must have, to be making the jumps she is - often her jumps are not advised as the best potential by my knocked together analyses, but often have better results than my own.
Finally, laughing and out of breath, we stop, a few feet short of the cliff, staring down into the mather gorge, 80 feet below. A few kayakers float by, spinning their boats on end or standing them on their noses. I look on admiringly.
"That looks so much fun. I'm envious sometimes of the more physical pursuits."
"(Name)," she says, "you did pretty well with those crevasses back there. Did you enjoy it?"
"Oh yes!" I say, "I really got my analytics dialed in there towards the end. You must have an amazing suite though! Off the shelf, or customized?"
She just shakes her head."I don't have a suite." Again, that pause as she took in my perplexed look. "Oh hell, I can see there is not going to be any convincing you. This is what I always argue anyways, some things can only be known through experience."
"Sorry, what?"
"Turn it off."
"Turn what off?"
"Your processor."
"WHAT?"
"Turn it off. Mine is off. Look, see?" she shows me her wristband, its face the dull gray of sleep mode.
"Uh, okay. I guess I said I was game for anything." and I thumb the switch into its emergency only position.
"Now, lets go again. I'll be slow." and she sets off at a skipping pace down the cliff wall. I follow, warily. Slowly the sun and the movement overcome me once again and I find myself blinking for crevasse analysis, only to realize its powered down. I begin to try to remember the overlay equations, and almost stumble to my knees in my preoccupation. So i just start heading for the safest looking passages, and quickly lead myself into a blind alley and am forced to retreat as (she) stands by, doing tree pose on a boulder farther ahead. I begin to approach my run like a chess game, looking at my available options, and weighing them against what options they would lead to downstream. before i know it I am keeping up with her again, and there is a slow feeling I usually only associate with sex or a really good book creeping through my chest.
Suddenly our downriver flight is blocked by another cliff as a stream crashed down the hillside into the river. We slow to a walking pace and amble alongside until we can cross and then climb back up to riverside. She drops down into a stretch, takes her pack off her back and opens it up, handing me a sandwich. I see a flash of neon orange just over the ledge and climb into a seat with a better view, expecting a bird. What I see is in flight, but aside from that is about as unbird like as possible. A helmeted man lands his little plastic kayak in the middle of the standing wave on the river, plants his paddle near his stern, executing a flat water spin before lunging forward into one more aerial before falling off the back of the wave as he rights himself. I make an appreciative nose in the back of my throat and she giggles.
"Ever been with an athlete?"
"No, I'm definitely sapio-sexual. Its the brains that get me hot and bothered. Still, there is just something SO appealing about accomplished motion."
"Is that so." she says to me, and then leans out over the water. "Hey Yon! Come here! I'll trade one of my sandwiches for a couple of those ciders I know you've got in your stern!" And the golden boater grins up at her, paddling hard for the shore where he beaches his boat, quickly climbs out and shoulders it, scrambling up the slope to us."
Yon sits down with a six pack of the local brew, popping their lids and stowing them on the bottoms of the reusable cans before handing them to each of us.
"Nice to meet you …" he leads, as he pulls his hand back from what is now my beverage.
"(Name)," I say, smiling rather dopily. "Nice to meet you as well"
"Yon is a hydrological engineer." She says byway of introduction.
I giggle. "Is that like domestic engineer?” I riff, playing off his boating prowess. Neither of them smiles.
"No, really - Yon is the top contributing hydrological engineer at Georgetown Tech, in fact I'm peer reviewing one of his latest papers right now." She says, and Yon ducks his head in embarrassed acknowledgement."
"It's true, but it isn't the entire story. (Name) here is the one who suggested I take up kayaking when I was struggling to put the pieces together in the lab with this latest hydro model."
"So wait, but I thought you said you worked in urban planning? How are you peer-reviewing his paper?"
She laughed. "Good Question, I suppose. I don't exactly work in urban planning, though that facet is how you met me. I work more in the human settlement pattern, as ill defined as that is, but also sometimes beyond it. Yon and I actually met 120 feet up in the air, so to speak - doing our community contribution with the forest corps. And I am reviewing his paper now under the guise of general flow modeling - air and water behave very similarly, mimicking each other in our climactic patterns, and potentially in many other world patterns, when viewed in a very macro manner."
"So you must both have great ADD suites …" I say, and before I can complete my sentence I am stopped by their broad grins.
"Nope, trashed that thing years ago." Yon says, “Heike never had one at all," he adds.
"By following only the most statistically reasonable paths we are stifling not only new knowledge, we are destroying existing knowledge because it doesn't fall along the cone of reason." She says, vehemently. "We pursue only the most expediently viable option, closing off so many avenues. We are imbalanced, and what we fail to see holds us back, and where it fails to hold us back we endanger ourselves, not having the full context of our new knowledge in exceedingly narrow fields."
...
Eventually a second, quiet revolution. talk of how the creators of the new deal intended it to be adaptive, for us to regain the lost knowledge of the harmony to our logical melody, but that ultimately we would internalize that knowledge into culture and then instinct as we moved past healing into development again.
We had regained the learned knowledge and understanding of the experience which had gone before, and what that told us about the complexity (this term eventually replaces universe, being a more accurate representation of the infinite multidimensional fractal pattern that is our growing world) - but we didn't internalize that knowledge, we didn't KNOW it. When making the best choice, the right choice, you are failing to gain experience and knowledge from all of the other choices. Intuitive leaps are most common in those interstices, and least common along the most followed practice, once it becomes established from its own intuitive leap.
She had gotten rid of most of her educational value analysis packages, shelved them, slowly but with more surety over the years. She now used only the basic life support functions and depending on her activity would turn on or off other customized suites.
… all it took was for a few of us to start expanding our experience, and balancing the logical analysis with our own feelings, forged in multidisciplinary experience, and working together to experiment new paths.
