Rewatch Rehash Repeat

Do you enjoy binge watching old TV shows? Because I do.

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Dawson’s Creek S1E11-E13

S1E11 1) Uuuugh,  when will this breakup crap be over. Grooooossss. Also, who are the writers? Cliff and Jen have been on like 4 dates. 2) This Halloween episode is really feeling like 1998. 3) Where are Dawson’s parents? Do they EVER parent or just, like, show up when it suits them? 4) It’s a miracle Dawson has any friends.  S1E12 1) lol, insect sex. 2) Oh yeah, Drew Barrymore was a teen heartthrob. 3) Uuugh, sexist Dawson swoops in. Again. 4) Pagent episode with Pacey,  lolz 5) Uugh, now Jen is a stalker? These kids need therapy. Or is this really what being a teenager was like? Probably.  6) In which Dawson has a possessive existential Joey crisis Teenagers are so annoying 7) Pacey 😂😂 8) Joey singing "On My Own” from les miserables 😂😂😂😂 9) Seriously, "Black" boyfriend again?! BODIE his name is BODIE.  10) Jen is now starting to suck. I remember now.  11) Ugh, Dawson 12) You guys, I don't know if I can deal 13) Thank god for Joey,  calling Dawson out for the loser he is 14, Okay, Jen suuuuuuccckks S1E13 1) lol, Jen’s bliss at the prospect of Joey going to France is super not cool 2) I'm pretty sure Dawson relies on his dimples to not be smothered to death by everyone he knows 3) I don't understand,  I thought they decided episode one they could not share a bed anymore? 4) Jen, blech. Okay. I remember not liking her now. Dawson comforting her is The worst though 5) Omg, the dad speech is EVEN worse than Dawson’s speeches. I would like to retroactively fire all writers on the show. 6) Suddenly Jen’s grandmother is okay with Jen sleeping over with boys? I guess to drive the plot all adults must take turns in the bad parent-mobile. 7) FINALLY THE KISS. But wait, isn’t this most def a few seasons too soon? 

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Dawson’s Creek S1E8-E10

S1E8 1) Love when 30yo play teenagers. 2) “Bite me, Pacey”😂 3) Be kind, rewind 😂 4) Seriously,  Pacey’s haircut, wtf 5) Jen asking Dawson to let Billy stay with him is soooo inappropriate 6) Uuugh Dawson and his "nice guy" narrative 7) Lol, billy dissing Dawsons et doll while wearing eyeliner 8) Invest in some sunglasses kids, geez 9) Pacey taking care of the baby 😍 10) Uuuugh this break up is insufferable. Teenagers are the worst. Jens speech, who says that crap?! S1E9 1) Cant we get Billy for statutory rape and be done with him? Oh, that’s right, the writers on this show don’t care about adults having sex with minors.  2) I just don’t get the whole Jen golden girl thing, uuuuugh 3) This male bonding thing is weird 4) Juvenile delinquents too. How could they do that and not, like, I dunno, get arrested for property destruction?  5) Dawson hitting on a 40 year old woman playing a 20 year old woman.  😂 6) Cant follow the timeline of this episode, is it day time? Is it night? Did this road trip take them to en entirely different time zone or part of the planet? How can it be daylight in Capeside and nighttime in Providence?  7) Thi episode is subtitled How Dawson and Billy Got Their Groove Back S1E10 1) The episode in which Dawson becomes a total creepy stalker and joey hunts snails 2) Double date?! WORST IDEA EVER Cliff is a tool though, I admit it.  3) Joey is life, as usual 😍 We all know where this is leading with Pacey, duh. 4) Dawson’s speech,  barrrrrrfffff WHEN WILL THIS BREAKUP EVER END 5) Dawson, stalker and weirdo possessive creep all wrapped up in one. Not impressed. How did anyone ever like him? How did this show get named after him? Why is he the star? Gross. 

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Dawson’s Creel S1 E5-E7

S1E5 1) Who came up with the stuck in a storm/hurricane trope for tv dramas anyway? How often does Massachusetts have real hurricanes? Is it even hurricane season?????? 2) I looked it up, technically could be hurricane season if this takes place sometime in the fall and supposedly it does. It’s just sooooo unlikely. 3) Jen lives literally across the yard, she could just risk it and go home. Or lock Dawson outside. F*ck this noise.  4) Ugh, this Pacey/teacher thing is gross. Pacey’s brother is a creep. Where the heck is Pacey’s parents?!!!!

S1E6  1) It’s getting to the point that it is not even subtle racism with Bodie (AKA the Black Boyfriend) anymore. Jeepers. Over and over again.   2) Why do so many shows bring god into child birth? But thank goddess for Grams, annoying, but the only person doing any sort of real parenting on this show. Dawson’s parents are a joke.  3) I forgot about the dead mom stuff with Joey. Uuuugh. <3  4) I love how tvs went the other direction with the gross tv births. Thanks for all the crud on the kids head.  5) Thank goddess, will this Pacey/teacher story-line finally end?! Will they ever address how mind blowingly inappropriate this relationship was?!

S1E7 1) Joey vs school jocks. So good. My money will always be on her.  2) All these 15 yo obsessed with sex. I’m trying to remember if we obsessed as hardcore, or at least as hardcore outloud when that age?  3) Umpa lumpa? Lolololol 4) Dawson suuuuuucks. Uuuugh. Such a whiny baby. 5) Baaarfffff Jen and Dawson sex speech. Make it stooooooppppp. 6) Poor Joey, lots of feels. 7) This is the worst breakfast club ever.

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Dawson’s Creek S1

S1E2 1) Joeys jeans, OMG. I have a picture of me wearing almost exactly the same ones, so I know we wore this crap but I just....how could we...why? Who let that happen? How did we think it looked good? Then again, people have been wearing skinny jeans for the last 8 years. Eep.  2) I will go to my grave not understanding how Jen is considered this hot girl one must die and pine for.  3) 20 years later it is starkly obvious that this show has a lily all white cast. Once in awhile you see people of color in the background to be like, LOOK DIVERSITY DOES EXIST IN CAPESIDE JUST NOT IN OUT SCRIPT! Every single time Joey’s sister’s boyfriend is brought up he is the Black Boyfriend. Every. Time. UUUUFFF.  4) Dawson’s vest! LOL. Remember when men wore vests willingly? I do think it would be kinda funny to bring this back. Frat boys wearing vest entertains me.  5) "I want to be your boy adventure" I about died. Who wrote for this show? Have they ever talked to a IRL teenager? 

S1E3 1) Rando: "Do you come with a name, or just an attitude?" Joey: "Just an attitude"  Also Joey: "I'm a Pisces, I'm into Harley's,  body piercings,  and men with tattoos" "gap ad has a tattoo?" Joey is hilarious.  2) Sooooo not into this teacher/student storyline. Grosssssss. 3) “Black Boyfriend” got recast, this is a totally different guy from the pilot.  4) Guys, James van der Beek was the big star in this lololol. 5) So happy I have shazam for this.

S1E4 1) Uuugh, Dawson suuuuucks. His virgin purity obsession. Barf. 2) Pacey is gross too. Sexist POS. Both of them.  3) I have to ask, as I do with all teen dramas, where the heck are the parents that aren’t dead?  Absent except for when they are plot drivers. 

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Dawson’s Creek Season 1

I'm starting a rewatch of Dawson's Creek. If you want to feel extraordinarily old, it came out 19 years ago! 😲 

So far one episode in: 1) All the haircuts are so bad, but Pacey's haircut 😂😂😂 2) The teacher/Pacey storyline 😖 3) Dawson is truly insufferable 😣 4) Joey is life 😍 5) I don't hate Jen this time around but I don't believe she's a New Yorker for one second. 6) I thought I was for sure living in a new timeline since the title song was different but looked it up and confirmed it was changed for DVD release. 7) Soundtrack is epic late 90's cheese. 8) Dawson and Pacey work in a video store forever timestamping it. Future generations will never understand the social center of a small town video store.

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Roswell Season 2 E19 - E21

S2E19: Still hate Maria narrating. Max is so gross. I will never be able ti unsee this. Also, how could he have not used protection?! Still confused about this alien sex business. How can alien baby gestation be 1 month when they were in those stupid pods for 40 years? Literally worst teenage nightmare stereotype cliché ever. I hate this story line. But LOL the alien sex description though. Michael, “You’re too smart to get Tess pregnant….” Then promoting alien abortion. Michael is the best sometimes. I also love that Kyle loves porn. Also, sometimes I get lost in Maria’s hair. Tess and Max playing house is so disgusting. Her playing sick is so obviously fake. LOLx1000 that a 500 page novel resulted from those few metal pages.

S2E20: Most obvious camera ever, good job Liz. Way to be subtle. This hostage episode is so weirdly placed. I looked it up and apparently there was a shuffling of episodes by the network. Terrible idea. Terrible episode. Lamest episode of a season of lame episodes. However, I love that the sheriff is still the sheriff even though he is not the sheriff anymore.

S2E21: I’m sorry. Hold on. The transporter ship thingie only job is to transport them home? But in the alternate future it was rewired to be a time machine? Do the show writers even keep notes? Tess clutching her stomach constantly is nauseating. Gosh I hate her. Fake death but leave their parents a note? Max was willing to just give Michael up? What about the “we must stay together” crap? At least, ding, dong, the witch is sorta dead. Even though that whole story line makes next to no sense and the special effects are dumb. Sigh. It’s really obvious there was no agreement about what this show was about, where it was going, and who had creative decision making power. BUT I *guess* I’ll watch the 3rd season…

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Roswell Season 2 E16-E18

<Insert a table flipping meme here>

S2E16: Maria suddenly narrating is bizarre. Now Liz narrating? Make up your minds! Gross Sean is back. Oh shit, a prom episode. Goddess help us all. Love all the giant vocab words they are using this episode. Teenagers *totally* talk like that. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate Tess? Side note: THAT’S the dress Liz bought a year ago?! F*ck Max. At least that human side of him is good and strong. Oh, things are going well with the girl I loved….Let me count to 100 and make out with the girl whose been throwing herself at me for a year who I said I would never go after.

S2E17: Liz needs to suck it up and throw them all out of her parent’s restaurant. Poor Alex. Sorry, not enough chemistry with Isabel, its to the morgue with you! As if they’d leave a dead body in the back of a van like that. X_X Liz is going to dark places. Also, screw Max. Liz have believed all his crazy shit, he cant return the favor? Ugh, why am I ugly crying. It rains so much more in New Mexico than I thought.

S2E18: Really don’t like Maria narrating. I can’t believe Max is acting like this. I hate Max. I hate Tess. A foot rub! Really?!!! Max is an idiot. Question: since we all know Tess is behind this, why wouldn’t she just off Liz ages ago? So grossed out by the patriarchy, but good for Liz giving it a big FU. Does alien sex not count as underage sex? WTF.

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Roswell Season 2 E13 - E15

S2E13: Worse EMT’s ever. LOL Max playing scientist. Oh good, so glad the parents decided to show up this season and do a little parenting during a time in the episode where there was some missing drama and conflict. Amy is my fav parent though. These kids sure do put a lot of miles and states on that jetta. Love that Michael STILL has a bad haircut in 1937. Alien parasites? UGH. Earth is infected? SMH.

S2E14: I love how this show somehow becomes a slap stick comedy sometimes. Grandpa Michael’s offspring are such weirdo caricature  of posh east coast snobs and yet in Arizona? Too funny. But not as bad funny and Maria and Michael acting posh. This whole parasite story-line is sooooo painfully dumb. Hey kids, I don’t think that’s how science or parasite work! How the heck is their cell phone reception so damn good all the time? My phone *still* doesn’t work in most basements/ground floors. I still don’t know how Brent got infected by the queen. I also still don’t understand how those crystals turned into slime, wouldn’t it be more likely they’d turn into dust? Or is that not messy enough?

S2E15: Can we finally talk about the Tabasco? I mean, so many better hot sauces, especially in that area of the country. These are definitely white aliens. Rents must be really low in Roswell. How can a teenager afford that place? Also, Michael's hair is getting worse. Thank god they at least flew to Vegas  this time. The ID names, so bad. Even a teenager is not that stupid. LOL have any of the show creators been to Vegas? They survive on gambling addicts! Oh look, another parent finally parenting. This episode was seriously silly.

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Roswell Season 2 E10 -E12

S2E10: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! Oh no! This can’t be a good idea. Oh great, a Christmas haunting on top of it. LOL caroling on all the sad cases door steps. Why is everything in this show so painfully contrived? Question: Tess cooks from scratch for hours, but uses powers to carve the turkey? Serious side eye. Will all those kids have super powers now? It’s all very confusing. I love how the humans are all suddenly religious. Me in general: This shit is cheesy AF. Also me: I’m not crying, you’re crying!

S2E11: Max “Stay away from Liz’s dreams”. Isabel – immediately goes into Liz’s dreams.  So Isabel gets to be the crazy physic lady that shows up at police stations? Cool. How Liz could remotely be into Sean, whateves. Seriously, it’s like they are looking for reasons to let Max manhandle his sister. So gross.

S2E12: Wow, the writers just can’t get a grip this season, can they? They’ve rushed through half a dozen story lines (badly) that could have carried this show for multiple seasons. *whoopsies* I feel like this might have been the way Twlight was meant to be but wasn’t. Sorta creepy, but not mega creepy.  

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Roswell Season 2 E7 - E9

S2E7: Isabel betraying them in the past makes NO SENSE. Why would they send the very person who helped with their downfall to be reincarnated on earth again? I have questions. Also, mega convenient that all main characters just *happened* to be in the right spots at the right time not to be disappeared. Kyle and his unique brand of Buddhism is hilarious, I just hope he eventually gets a better wardrobe. “The school is *our* turf” is also hilarious. Now whenever I see a tender bro/sis moment between Max and Isabel I can’t help but think they are a couple at this time IRL. Did anyone else want “Firestarter” to start playing when Tess toasted that guy? 

S2E8: I hate to be a picnicker BUT THIS EPISODE MAKES NO SENSE. How the bleep do the Dupes fit into the current mythology successfully? If they are more in the know about their history why kill off the king when they should be the ones to know how they need all four to save the world, yadi, yadi, yadi. Also, you’d think maybe Future Max could have given Liz the heads up that there were four doppelgangers out there...or is it altering the future with Max and Liz bringing these EXTRAORDINARYLY badly done punks into our lives? The costumer on this show should be fired, I swear. Same with the hair stylist. Maria must be bringing in her own stylist, her hair is always on point. Other notes: what is it about these older men chasing after high school girls?! So gross. So sad, the WTC shot at the beginning of the episode. The bad NY accent on Dupe Isabel was more than I could take. Why was Dupe Tess totally useless? 

S2E9: It sucks that this NYC theme has continued. And that pains me to say, because I love NYC. FYI Empire State Building is not three blocks from 51st street. LOL internet access in the sewer/subway tunnels. I wish they’d stop showing the pods. So bad. Worst conference room ever. I don’t understand how Tess is so useless in this episode except for her “losing control” business. As if. Poor Dupe Tess. I can’t believe they just let her wander off. I love how she delivered, totally out of the blue, Liz’s “powers” knowledge. *sigh*

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Roswell Season 2 E4 - E6

S2E4:This episode was DUMB but I did dig the uniforms. LOL the comment about Michael’s hair. I love how they tried to make it look authentic with EVERY SINGLE PERSON smoking in the episode but then blew it with the super modern beer bottles. Also, the show creators DO realize they are in the same state and so the country accents are kinda silly? Don’t get me started on all the sexist themes too. We get it, 1947 was not a good time to be a lady. 

S2E5: I hate this episode. I hate future Max. Future Max and Liz have such bad hair too. LOL the grey hair comment and his continued tortured boy role, just with leather.  Boo on him cock-blocking the mariachis band scene with current day Max though. Also, Current Day Max carrying around tickets in his pocket is just silly. I don’t believe for a second Current Day Max would have been carting around condoms though. It would have been awesome with a scene of him throwing them away instead of that grossness with Tess in the park. Whats up with the show having everyone in half shadow all the time? Buy some lights! I want to thank to show for having Max be shirtless so much this episode. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

S2E6: Poor tortured Max. Serious teenage road trip nightmare. Dumb AF though. Oh hey, lets go chase after an alien cult, sounds like FUN. However, it was all worth it to hear Maria’s reaction to the Michael shrine and her yelling into his ear about his inflated ego. I love how in this season they have just tossed out them having to explain themselves to their parents. Pesky thing, underage children are. This whole Skins storyline is soooo dumb I hope they all do die soon. Nicolas is hilarious though. Creepy AF. Love him. 

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Roswell Season 2 E1 - E3

Season two of course continues to jump the shark even more. Can’t wait! 

S2E1: LOL the recap via pretend therapy confession. So bad.  Max should just walk around w/o a shirt on foreves. Seriously. Also, how the heck did Maria grow 8 ft of hair in 3 months? Isabel clearly has a thing for older men and Alex has no hope. It’s for the best. Special effects are still bad. Finally, there is just no hope for Michael’s hair. No hope.

S2E2: Max “we cant tell anyone we’re aliens” also Max *runs down street shirtless with blood all over him*. But whateves, I enjoyed more shirtless Max. Nasedo is dead dead. Hopefully they will throw out those healing stones now. LOL the sheriffs Navajo bathrobe. Also, skins is literally the dumbest most lame alien name ever. Hopefully something was lost in translation, cause really.

S2E3: They could have solved the whole Tess problem by just staying at that the damn party. Shame! Side note: Isabel’s breakdown over “birth” mom is legit. These alien parents were seriously bad planners. Reincarnating them as baby half bread humans and abandoning them and only giving them cryptic messages and some lame ass lackey like Nasedo who “lost” them for 17 years - who didn’t think to take a stroll into the next town to find them? LAME. Other side note: I have to admit to genuinely enjoying the Kyle/Tess scenes. So bad, so good.

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Roswell Season 1

Synopsis: Bizarre things start happening in the little New Mexico town where UFOs were spotted in 1947. Cut to 1999, when a cute high-school student saves the life of a teenage waitress. Surrounded by cliques of clever, angst-filled classmates, the two form a bond that threatens the survival of a secret universe involving superhuman powers, a yen for hot sauce and an alien gene pool.

Note from me: This show was terrible the first time around and still continues to be terrible. It is delightful! 

S1E1: OMG, this is where I discovered my love for Dido in my early 20′s. Angsty young unrequited love FTW! Worst fake gunshot wound ever. C- on special effects guys. Get it together. I do love me a show that jumps the shark in the pilot though!

S1E2: Wow, I forgot how much of a spazz Kyle was. Also, what is wrong with everyones hair? Max is essentially a stalker.  Ms. Topolsky is totes a spy. 

S1E3: I kinda like Mean Isabel, she is such a whiny mess later. Also, OMG the cell phones KILL me! So HUGE! Would teens in 1999 even have cell phones? *I* didn’t even have a cell phone in 1999. 

S1E4: Poor grandma. I wonder how many older actresses have these jobs - oh hey, you’ll be the beloved grandmother that no one had ever mentioned come to visit and then promptly die because we need an emotional death but don’t want to actually kill off any of the lead characters. You’ll get about three speaking lines before death onsets. K-thx-bye

S1E5: Lolololololol of course Liz’s journal has gone missing. Didn’t see that coming at all. 

S1E6: I really delighted in the geometric dome. Long live hippy alien conspiracies. 

S1E7: All the Native American/Indian reservation stuff makes me uncomfortable. It’s New Mexico, so I get it. But my guess is it is very appropriation-y.

S1E8: When are these two finally going to kiss, this is ridiculous. They must be masturbating 40 times a day with all that tension. Also, poor Alex. 

S1E9: Whelp, they finally kissed. Thank god.  Also, they are really going to try and put Alex and Isabelle together? They have like, negative a million chemistry.

S1E10: Meh, next. But seriously, his hair! Wtf?! It’s so distracting. Also, those healing stones are so tacky. 

S1E11: I’m sorry, mom only just NOW decides to question/remember Max about his strange behavior and healing abilities? I call shenanigans. And who doesn’t know about grease fires and water? Maybe mom is just not very smart?

S1E12: This episode is also hilariously bad. So far fetched. Does New Mexico even have woods like this? 

S1E13: Oh great, that couple again. The convention is amazing though. I really hope Roswell has a convention like this. The alien hunter bringing Max and the sheriff together. What an unexpected 180. 

S1E14: Max drunk is literally the best. Hilarious. This whole episode is so embarrassing. I loved it.

S1E15: Again, no one picked up on Michael’s foster Dad being abusive? Also, how in the world did that guy become a foster parent? Were are the case workers? Also, LOL on Michael being emancipated in one afternoon. 

S1E16: This episode is amazing! How to have teen sex and talk about orgasms without actually having teen sex. I laughed, I cried. I swear there is like 30 mins of making out for the 40min episode. Making up for lost time. Probably down to only masturbating 20 times a day. 

S1E17: It was all fun and games with this rewatch until Tess showed up. Blech. 

S1E18: Gross. Gross. Gross. Gross. I hate Tess. I suddenly understand why I have not liked Emilie de Raven in literally anything. The Roswell effect. Harding is spooky AF, wasn’t this actor a creepy alien in something else? Side note: Poor crazy conflicted Topolsky. RIP with your tin hat. 

S1E19:  Harding/Nasedo continues to be a creepy MF. Also, Michael and Isabel...okay? But mostly blech. Tess is literally evil incarnate. Also, wtf, who is set design on this show. They get an F. 

S1E20: Again with that ridiculous book. Set design still gets an F. They must have had a really low budget. Even for the 90′s this is bad. A metal spiral notebook? I was so distracted by this I think I missed half the episode. Nasedo is soooo gross as Max.  Agent Pierce/Deputy whatever is ridic, this guy is like a month older than the other actors, how could he be the lead guy of that unit?

S1E21: Poor Max. Poor this shows special effects. I legit enjoyed Max’s brush off of Tess for Liz though.

S1E22: Max is pretty banged up, and they are on the run from gun wielding special force FBI agents in a hilarious red hummer, so is hard core making out really appropriate right now? I guess the show wanted to get a few more sessions in before all hell and drama breaks out with the big reveal at the end of the episode. Also, about that, screw their “real” mom and their home planet. Whole premise makes zero sense, but whateves. Sign me up for season 2!