Tumblr staff get yo shit together

return'th (NO PORN BOTS/ABUSE/TERF)

[reximusprime]

So uh I needed to change my oc ref a lil since Herm isn't a good word.

[senorpacman-deactivated20200826]

Visit Original Link

egg

[senorpacman-deactivated20200826]

every july. every fucking july this post gets reblogged to shit. why. why does this god forsaken website love egg. i gave egg a voice in 2013 and it always comes back. i try to forget egg. i bury egg as far as i can but somehow someone always finds fucking egg post. this post could be dead for months but it always managed to come back like some sort of zombie egg. enough egg. no more egg. fuck eg

[australian-frog-cakes-deactivat]

I now have this scheduled to reblog every year on July 1st at exactly midnight

[my-gender-is]

my gender is whatever the fuck dr habit has going on

[wo2bzy1vl4-deactivated20220710]

[darklesmylove]

me: i want to be a published author one day!

also me when i remember i have to write to be a writer:

[chaoticlywise]

Me: *is excited to write*

My brain as soon as I open a blank Google doc:

[reximusprime]

THIS IS ME WHEN EVER I WANNA WRITE A FANFIC WTF

[nevertoomanyspiders]

mwah mwah 💋💋💋

[cyanityinsanity101]

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[theriu]

IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU UNMUTE!!!!

[submalevolentgrace]

NYUM NYUM NYUM NYUM NYUM NYUM NYUM NYUM

[thevampireconnoisseur]

Habit: I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR TEETH–

Me: Wow you’re tall

Habit: Thanks?

Me: How tall are you?

Habit: I dunno like 7′4″, 7′9″ with the heels?

Me: *twirling hair* Omg “with heels”! You are SO funny!

——————-

Based off this

[kenazraventooth]

KDJSBDHD i feel so called out-

[cyanityinsanity101]

You and me both djdhskjsjs-

[axolotl-baguette]

Types like habit while messaging my close friends and acts like Kamal in the real world. wasn't the plan but here we are.

[localstarboy]

One of the best pranks I’ve ever seen, even the dog was shook…

[kimreesesdaughter]

I liveeeeeeeeeee for pranks!

[augustdementhe]

PRANKS LIKE THIS.

Look at this. Look at the EFFORT this took.

No random screaming, no calling people slurs, no one lost anything or got hurt, THIS. THIS. Is a great prank. I hope everyone involved is having a fucking great day.

[penismage]

“no one lost anything”

this guy lost his breakfast 😔

[deactivated33534873628732-deact]

She made him drop his croissant 🥐😂

[itsforexposure]

Because sometimes, "go fuck yourself" isn't an option.

[rhythmic-idealist]

[Image: A chart entitled How to politely say “Sorry, I’m not doing that for free.”

01. Thanks so much for considering me! Please see here for a link to the services and price packages that I offer. Let me know if you have any questions!

02. This sounds like a great opportunity, thank you for thinking of me! Are you able to confirm that this is a paid opportunity?

03. I appreciate you thinking of me for this opportunity. Unfortunately, I’m unable to take on any unpaid projects at the moment but I will circle back if that changes.

04. Thanks for reaching out! I typically charge a flat fee for this kind of advice so I’m unable to answer this via DM’s but I’ll drop a link below where you can book a consultation with me!

End description.]

[reximusprime]

5. Fuck you, pay me bitch

[3go]

i downloaded this god damn episode just so everyone could watch this fukkin clip

[soundssimpleright]

The feedback bit is inspired.

[titaniagigante-deactivated20210]

Keegan Michael Key’s quick thinking to get involved was GENIUS.

[reximusprime]

Habit stop being so cute I wan 2 smooch u....😢😭

[home-and-having-tea]

Things That Happened in 2020 That Don’t Feel Like They Did:

-The Witcher came out

-The movie Parasite wins at the Oscars

-Stickbugging

-Kim Jong Un “died” like three times

-Ray Bans Official Charity Sale For $26.99 Today

-The murder hornets appearing and disappearing in like a week

-The Sonic movie came out

-Jennifer Lopez pole dances at the Superbowl

-4/20/2020

-X Æ A-12 Musk

-UFOs are real apparently

-Plane flights were like $15 at one point

-For some reason, Clone High is making a comeback

-Leaving school in March for a “few weeks lockdown” and now we’re here

-Friday the 13th was the last “normal” day for a lot of us

[gui1ttripping]

[obsidianmage3]

these all feel 5 years away at least

[makinginfinity]

[cherrydanish]

:-)

[reximusprime]

Habit rock

[femaleshits]

The legends return…. https://www.instagram.com/p/CMZPuOnFcLXcryAUmOkor8Ee5H0ONMmCgnYWxs0/?igshid=183oe15yr9dsx

[reximusprime]

The dude didn't age to well

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from “i can has”. Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they’re talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she’s been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[fandom]

This post is the most reblogged post of the year! Congratulations!

[byjove]

We did it Tommy!

[continuants]

Tommy!!!!! Tommy is the VIP!!!!!!

[anais-ninja-bitch]

is tommy an ole timey wild west prospector?