It’s Tough Getting Older
holy shit this dude is killing it
Found the comedian, his name is Andy Huggins and here's his NPR interview
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
Today's Document
Stranger Things

pixel skylines
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
occasionally subtle
h
Game of Thrones Daily
Not today Justin
Sweet Seals For You, Always
noise dept.
Claire Keane

roma★
Misplaced Lens Cap
hello vonnie
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
$LAYYYTER

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@riled-perks
It’s Tough Getting Older
holy shit this dude is killing it
Found the comedian, his name is Andy Huggins and here's his NPR interview
You probably think you could take an octopus to a 3D movie. Maybe you think it would look cute in those little glasses, with a cup of Coca-Cola in one tentacle, some popcorn in another and a bag of candy in a third. I bet you're imagining how when something jumps at the screen, it would get scared and camouflage to the same color as the seat. Well, too bad, 'cause it's never gonna happen. You know why? I'll tell you why. Unlike ours, octopus eyes can see the polarization of light. The two superimposed images wouldn't look similar to it, even a little. You fool. You buffoon. And I know what you're thinking. We'll just watch a stereoscopic 3D movie. It'll look even cuter with the red and blue glasses they have for those. But you sound like even more of a dunderhead now, because you know what? Octopus eyes rely on single photoreceptors. They don't even see color! And I know what you're thinking. I know you're about to say that some researchers have proposed a mechanism where octopuses could use chromatic aberration to still determine color information, but you know what? That's just a theory someone came up with! No one's ever been able to train octopuses to distinguish between colors in the lab, so don't you look like a big old clown right now. And lemme stop you before you try to come up with some more featherbrained nonsense, because it gets worse. Octopus eyes aren't even positioned for binocular vision! They may not even be that good at perceiving depth, seemingly relying on a combination of light polarization and bobbing their head. So it'll never work! You're never going to take an octopus to see Finding Nemo 2 in 3D! You just won't! Give up on it already!
homunculus let out into the yard for a few minutes of recreational getting thrown from the roof time
THE ARTIST
Out of Touch
Out of Touch Thursday
OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY
but im out of my head when you’re not around…
happy birthday.
this is the only out of touch thursday you can reblog this
KONATA OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY IZUMI IS MY TWIN????!
woaahh happy out of touch birthursday julia
Analyzing the politics of a work that's meant to be apolitical is actually a really interesting exercise because it asks you to critically examine what the creator considers to be "political" in the first place. Which ideas are just How Things Are, and which ones are Political, and how is that influenced by the creator's beliefs?
Usually this just ends up with you looking like a moron btw
Angrily lashing out at the suggestion that it's possible to do basic media analysis was foundational to the ragebait ecosystem of the 2010s, from which we got basically the entire culture of modern far right politics, btw.
I genuinely believe myself and others are being so sincere and literal when we say TOUCH GRASS
I went outside and got an education, that's where I learned that you can obtain knowledge and insight through analytical methods, then noticed that some people who sit on the internet yelling at strangers get really mad about that constantly.
Don’t make me point to the Omar Sakar poem
being bald is crazy. how are u gonna get a little strand stuck in ur glasses. you still wear glasses right
bald guy here! we wear glasses to improve our vision and to prevent passing birds from mistaking us as big wrinkly eggs. instead of our own hair, we get mysterious strands of other peoples hair stuck in our glasses- sometimes for hours -until the tickle on our bald temples starts to drive us crazy. Fun fact! the average bald person can have strands of hair stuck to them from up to 15 individuals at a time, and can identify these hairs with around 70% accuracy! follow me for daily informational bald posts !
ive heard all i need to. thank you for taking the time to educate me. i am so fucking proud to be an ally
can he be in a normal situation for like 5 minutes
a deeply underrated part of the gay taylor swift conspiracy theories is that if they're right and she really has spent over a decade sending subliminal messages based on minute details for people to decode then she's uuuuuh. I mean she's insane. she's jigsaw. she's the riddler. her dad bought her career because if she didn't have music to distract her she would have started building deathtraps.
no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?
no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?
no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?
somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i've left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they're not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he's screaming.
all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you're not playing pretend you're locked in you're comfy cozy you're snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead
and like. if you're the one awake you're playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i'm a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we're doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they're sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.
plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you're waking them up with your screams
oh great and this guy's here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum
(having a good week) that’s right. the goal is to increase my baseline. make the spirals shallower until they spin lazily on the surface of the water, lose their suction. im not trying to fix it all at once, im trying to incrementally improve my way into something tolerable. and once im there maybe i can shoot for good
(having a bad week) and in my terrible forge i will temper the flames of ruin
my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.
Your monkeys ?
those aren’t mine.
basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*
*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god
*thunderous slam dunk noise*