I'd rather be in outer space πΈ
No title available
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Love Begins

Origami Around
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.

ellievsbear
d e v o n
occasionally subtle

tannertan36
Xuebing Du
tumblr dot com
RMH
AnasAbdin
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
DEAR READER

#extradirty

seen from Brazil
seen from TΓΌrkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from France

seen from Malaysia
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Netherlands

seen from Germany

seen from South Korea
seen from France

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
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@rileyb
target spotted
you are free to engage
forehead kiss in bound
Thank youβ¦
sometimes you just want to look at the qing dynasty jadeite cabbage again
here she is!
[ID: a sculpture of a chinese cabbage carved from a piece of two-tone white-and-green jadeite, resting on an intricate wooden stand /end ID]
iβm glad you liked her hereβs her beautiful cousin the qing dynasty meat rock
[ID: the meat-shaped stone, a piece of jasper resembling a piece of pork with layers of fat and meat, set on an intricate gold base /end ID]
we could make a whole meal out of rocks
THE IDEAS YOU RECEIVE FROM CHEESE CANNOT SAVE YOU
PRODUCT SENTENCE STARTERS
some sentence starters collected from product's movies and shorts. feel free to change pronouns, names, etc!
β I love you. And you know I do. β
β Nobody ever asks about ME, how I'M feeling! β
β How do you put up with this shit, [name]? β
β You look at me when I'm fucking talking! β
β Is your bitch calling me insane? β
β There's nothing I hate more than a nosy-ass neighbor. β
β I just wanna know one thing. Where's your sharpest knife? β
β What did you just call me? β
β I mean, I have no reason to lie... β
β I still know how to throw a killer sleepover! β
β No one will be able to hurt you ever again, okay? β
β Stop calling me that. β
β I don't know what's gotten into you. β
β I don't even want to be a [mother/father/parent] anymore. β
β Raising you was just a waste of my time. β
β It's your fault. It's always your fault. β
β Now look what you've done! β
β You know what this calls for, and I don't like to do it. β
β You can spend your time downstairs with the roaches. β
β I was thinking, and I do apologize for being so harsh earlier. β
β I'm gonna fix it, I'm gonna fix it, I'm gonna fix it... β
β I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna take care of you. β
β I will always be here. It's okay. β
β Did you seriously just ask me about my divorce? β
β How many times have I told you? TV rots your brain! β
β Now, what in God's name are you doing here? β
β You made that decision when you walked out of this house. β
β I told you to stay out of my fucking house! β
β You were never a [father/mother/parent] to [her/him/them]! β
β Look at all of this mess. It's all because of you. β
β Don't you look at me like that! β
β Oh, you're not gonna eat your fucking peas!? β
β Oh, [name]. I'm so in love with you. β
β I thought you quit smoking? β
β I'm gonna smoke this one, and then guess what? I'm gonna chain smoke the rest of the fucking pack all fucking night! β
β I'm glad I'll never lose you. β
β Why the fuck are you just looking at the fire!? β
β Why did nobody help [her/him/them]? β
β One thing you must know about me is that I hate kids. β
β I'm as happy as a pig in shit. β
β Take a pack of cigarettes and leave me alone, would you? β
β Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating? β
β Oh, I see. Your [daughter/son/kid] is a fucking softie. β
β I've been smoking since the womb -- secondhand, obviously. β
β You really shouldn't be doing that. You look really weird doing that. β
β Here, take my money! Just give me some cigs before I kill somebody! β
β Rats happen to be my least favorite animal. β
β Your poetry really turns me on. β
β Do you really think we'll be safe? β
β I had a cigarette for lunch. Try to find my waist! β
β Oh, [name], you're such a tease! β
β It's not the blood that scares me, no...it's the fact that I can't remember. β
β My lungs need smoke just as much as yours need oxygen. β
β Just do what children do best: ruin [her/his/their] life. β
β Look, I wouldn't expect you to understand because it's been, like, a millennia since you've trick-or-treated, but I'm a professional. I know what I'm doing. β
β Oh, the eight year-old finally has a personality! How refreshing. β
β Why aren't you crying? β
β Why aren't you scared? β
β I watch LiveLeaks on my mom's computer when she goes to work. β
β Choose your next words carefully, [name]. I get violent. LiveLeak violent. β
β Are you hungry? Because I could really go for a grilled cheese and, like, a Coke Zero or something.β
β My mom usually spends her grocery money at the casino. Do you need more information? β
β God, would you stop interrogating me? β
β You're either a smoker or a mom. You can't be both, so decide when you're young, and stick with it. β
β I mean, you're, like, what? 3 days old? β
β I had a cat, and then...I didn't have a cat anymore. Nothing morbid about a missing cat. β
β What time is it? What time is it!? β
β I'm actually worried...not for myself, but for that sweet child. β
β Can I swear? β¦That's so fucking gross. β
β You don't even remember, do you? β
β You're a monster for what you've done. β
β What are you doing? What are you doing!? β
β It's an emergency...we're out of creamer. β
β Do you wanna end up like me? β
β Oh, do I wanna end up like a cranky old bag? No thanks! β
β I hate kids -- never mind. That was the old me. β
β Let's be honest, [name]. You are a little past your prime. β
β Shut up! It's okay! I think I've got this! β
β Let me help you. β
β Hey -- don't. Don't look at [her/him/them]. β
β I'm still growing up, and I am a full-ass grown adult who is still learning how to grow up! β
β You've gotta strike while the iron's hot. I mean, with you, it's lukewarm at best...but don't wait for it to get cold, is what I'm saying. β
β You, my friend, are lucky that I have a wardrobe full of adult men's clothing. β
β Let's get crack-a-lackin. β
β You look like a gay Nosferatu. β
β I want milk outside of the glass. I want you to pour it on the table so I can lick it up like a stray cat. β
β I'm severely lactose intolerant, but I'm going to do this for you...because I like you. β
β Might I know your favorite color, madam? β
β That's what love is all about! Changing yourself so the other person will like you! β
β You're not dead! You're just purple now! β
β I don't wanna be purple forever! β
β You're going to be ugly when you grow up. You're already ugly. β
β [He's/She's/They're] probably dead. β
β Your dad seems nice. Your grandma's a bitch, though. β
β I wouldn't provoke [him/her/them] if I were you. β
β Why are you so mean to me? β
β Did anyone follow you here? β
β It's so nice to get away from the kids for once. β
β I need you to be a part of my life. You're the only family I have left. I love you. β
β Why are you speaking? I told you not to speak. β
β This isn't fair. This isn't what I wanted. β
β Look at me! Look at what you did to me! β
concreta
YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART