PRODUCT SENTENCE STARTERS
some sentence starters collected from product's movies and shorts. feel free to change pronouns, names, etc!
β I love you. And you know I do. β
β Nobody ever asks about ME, how I'M feeling! β
β How do you put up with this shit, [name]? β
β You look at me when I'm fucking talking! β
β Is your bitch calling me insane? β
β There's nothing I hate more than a nosy-ass neighbor. β
β I just wanna know one thing. Where's your sharpest knife? β
β What did you just call me? β
β I mean, I have no reason to lie... β
β I still know how to throw a killer sleepover! β
β No one will be able to hurt you ever again, okay? β
β Stop calling me that. β
β I don't know what's gotten into you. β
β I don't even want to be a [mother/father/parent] anymore. β
β Raising you was just a waste of my time. β
β It's your fault. It's always your fault. β
β Now look what you've done! β
β You know what this calls for, and I don't like to do it. β
β You can spend your time downstairs with the roaches. β
β I was thinking, and I do apologize for being so harsh earlier. β
β I'm gonna fix it, I'm gonna fix it, I'm gonna fix it... β
β I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna take care of you. β
β I will always be here. It's okay. β
β Did you seriously just ask me about my divorce? β
β How many times have I told you? TV rots your brain! β
β Now, what in God's name are you doing here? β
β You made that decision when you walked out of this house. β
β I told you to stay out of my fucking house! β
β You were never a [father/mother/parent] to [her/him/them]! β
β Look at all of this mess. It's all because of you. β
β Don't you look at me like that! β
β Oh, you're not gonna eat your fucking peas!? β
β Oh, [name]. I'm so in love with you. β
β I thought you quit smoking? β
β I'm gonna smoke this one, and then guess what? I'm gonna chain smoke the rest of the fucking pack all fucking night! β
β I'm glad I'll never lose you. β
β Why the fuck are you just looking at the fire!? β
β Why did nobody help [her/him/them]? β
β One thing you must know about me is that I hate kids. β
β I'm as happy as a pig in shit. β
β Take a pack of cigarettes and leave me alone, would you? β
β Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating? β
β Oh, I see. Your [daughter/son/kid] is a fucking softie. β
β I've been smoking since the womb -- secondhand, obviously. β
β You really shouldn't be doing that. You look really weird doing that. β
β Here, take my money! Just give me some cigs before I kill somebody! β
β Rats happen to be my least favorite animal. β
β Your poetry really turns me on. β
β Do you really think we'll be safe? β
β I had a cigarette for lunch. Try to find my waist! β
β Oh, [name], you're such a tease! β
β It's not the blood that scares me, no...it's the fact that I can't remember. β
β My lungs need smoke just as much as yours need oxygen. β
β Just do what children do best: ruin [her/his/their] life. β
β Look, I wouldn't expect you to understand because it's been, like, a millennia since you've trick-or-treated, but I'm a professional. I know what I'm doing. β
β Oh, the eight year-old finally has a personality! How refreshing. β
β Why aren't you crying? β
β Why aren't you scared? β
β I watch LiveLeaks on my mom's computer when she goes to work. β
β Choose your next words carefully, [name]. I get violent. LiveLeak violent. β
β Are you hungry? Because I could really go for a grilled cheese and, like, a Coke Zero or something.β
β My mom usually spends her grocery money at the casino. Do you need more information? β
β God, would you stop interrogating me? β
β You're either a smoker or a mom. You can't be both, so decide when you're young, and stick with it. β
β I mean, you're, like, what? 3 days old? β
β I had a cat, and then...I didn't have a cat anymore. Nothing morbid about a missing cat. β
β What time is it? What time is it!? β
β I'm actually worried...not for myself, but for that sweet child. β
β Can I swear? β¦That's so fucking gross. β
β You don't even remember, do you? β
β You're a monster for what you've done. β
β What are you doing? What are you doing!? β
β It's an emergency...we're out of creamer. β
β Do you wanna end up like me? β
β Oh, do I wanna end up like a cranky old bag? No thanks! β
β I hate kids -- never mind. That was the old me. β
β Let's be honest, [name]. You are a little past your prime. β
β Shut up! It's okay! I think I've got this! β
β Hey -- don't. Don't look at [her/him/them]. β
β I'm still growing up, and I am a full-ass grown adult who is still learning how to grow up! β
β You've gotta strike while the iron's hot. I mean, with you, it's lukewarm at best...but don't wait for it to get cold, is what I'm saying. β
β You, my friend, are lucky that I have a wardrobe full of adult men's clothing. β
β Let's get crack-a-lackin. β
β You look like a gay Nosferatu. β
β I want milk outside of the glass. I want you to pour it on the table so I can lick it up like a stray cat. β
β I'm severely lactose intolerant, but I'm going to do this for you...because I like you. β
β Might I know your favorite color, madam? β
β That's what love is all about! Changing yourself so the other person will like you! β
β You're not dead! You're just purple now! β
β I don't wanna be purple forever! β
β You're going to be ugly when you grow up. You're already ugly. β
β [He's/She's/They're] probably dead. β
β Your dad seems nice. Your grandma's a bitch, though. β
β I wouldn't provoke [him/her/them] if I were you. β
β Why are you so mean to me? β
β Did anyone follow you here? β
β It's so nice to get away from the kids for once. β
β I need you to be a part of my life. You're the only family I have left. I love you. β
β Why are you speaking? I told you not to speak. β
β This isn't fair. This isn't what I wanted. β
β Look at me! Look at what you did to me! β
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