Vain Little Bitch

aesthetic and politics

[grad-school-fool]

My father’s new plan to screw over the president: everyone wear Donald Trump masks around DC and be dicks to crows so eventually all the DC area crows will hate Donald Trump and mob him

[sorceryandjellybeans]

Think bigger, OP.

If we do this all around the whole country then no matter where he goes to hold a rally, the crows will be there mobbing and cawing at him like he’s the fuckin antichrist.

[grad-school-fool]

God you’re right

[ritualistic-raven]

I cant really advocate being mean to darling crows...but....to have the man be mobbed by crows? Too delightful

[skip-the-static]

Does anyone else get pissed off when someone says ‘oh everyone’s on the spectrum’? Like, I’ll be talking about my aspergers and mum’ll reply with that and it just gets to me, I dunno why. Am I being unreasonable or…?

[autisticrevolution-deactivated2]

It’s like when people refer to themselves as bipolar/ADHD/OCD when they actually aren’t. It trivializes the impact of those conditions.

[gray-yin-yang]

Someone: oh everyone’s a little on the spectrum!!

Me: then whY THE HELL WONT YOU CALL YOURSELF AUTISTIC

If everyone were “a little on the spectrum” then there wouldn’t be a spectrum, there wouldn’t be autism, there wouldn’t be all this propaganda on the “autism epidemic” because it’d be considered common and “normal” (for lack of a better term).

If everyone were “a little on the spectrum” then you (not general you, this is directed at whoever says “everyone is a little on the spectrum”) wouldn’t be pushing for a cure for autism.

[canyouhearthelight]

Prompt: different musical genres

“Your repetitive thought patterns are much different today: both fuller and - sharper?” Noah commented as we took a stroll through the corridors.

“Umm, I think the song in my head is opera, actually,” I confessed, curious. “I know the singer is operatically trained, and he is singing acapella, so there are no instrumentals in the background?”

“Why are your repetitive thoughts so different, day to day?”

“Oh, they’re different musical genres, probably. I listened to almost anything when I had the chance, even Before.”

[canyouhearthelight]

1 word prompt: digestion

“Here, this should help your digestion,” Arantxa assured softly as Derek let out an wail like a dying animal.  At first, he petulantly refused the beverage in front of him, but after a stern look from the woman, followed by a firm gesture to the glass, he gestured rudely and swallowed it with a wince.

Zach laughed at his friend’s dramatics. “Dude, it’s just sodium bicarb and some water.  I told you not to eat that twelfth slice of pizza!”

[canyouhearthelight]

Word prompt: menstruation

“I miss real beef,” my sister sighed.

“I miss beaches - the kind with sun, and sand in everything, and crashing waves,” I replied.  We were alone, discussing what we missed most about being on a planet.

“You know what I don’t miss?”  She perked up with a determined look on her face. “Menstruation - fuck periods and the evolution they were built on.”

We toasted to that.

[canyouhearthelight]

One word prompt: doughnuts

Tyche heard shouting as she walked up to the entrance to Antoine’s quarters, quirking an eyebrow at his uncharacteristic language.  As she entered, she could see him scolding his food console with increasingly inventive oaths.

“If you give me one more deep fried puff of disgusting, I will use your wires to hold up my socks you stupid piece of technology!” he exclaimed.  Turning, he saw Tyche leaning against the edge of his food alcove, causing him to turn a not-unflattering shade of pink.  “Please, bien-aime, help get this… thing… to give me blueberry cake doughnuts with lemon glaze?”

Apologies for how long it took me to respond to this… work was profoundly busy today!  I hope you like it!

[the-fox-fae-deactivated20220908]

Her short hair flopped over her eyes as she dropped her head to conceal a chuckle. She suddenly looked back up at him, marched over, and dragged him by the wrist into the corridor.

“Wh-what are you doing?” He blushed again at her action.

“Shh! Just trust me,” she managed through a laugh.

When she finally paused, it was to wave her hand over the pad to her quarter’s door before shoving him inside. Antoine was still trying to sputter out questions in mild confusion.

Tyche nearly danced as she skipped and twirled her way into the kitchen alcove. “My dear, remember how Soph and I had our quarters set up to actually cook food? You want a specific type of doughnut and I know exactly how to make them. Granted, they aren’t as good as the ones from the patisseries, but for the moment they’ll have to do. We’re still working on organic blueberries. The synthetic form is almost as good.”

His eyes widened as he realized she hadn’t limped even once since her surprise appearance. She must not ache when she’s happy….and she’s so happy right now! 

Bowls and measures were casually tossed onto the work surface and she hummed as she began collecting ingredients. He watched in wonder as she paused to remember bits of the recipe she learned over 15 years ago. Mixing this, incorporating that, Tyche looked truly content. It was a rare sight, as most of her pleasantness was a mask to hide her haunting memories. 

She eased the dough out onto the lightly floured work surface and began to shape it into not-quite-evenly-sized rings. “They’re not perfect, but they’ll still taste good,” she announced perkily. 

Her hair fell into her face again and her black clothes were splattered with white flour. The laugh lines were sharp as she sang and worked her magic. She was completely in the moment, lost in her baking. It was something Antoine had never seen before: Tyche, completely in her own element, unhindered by assignment or crisis. He was helpless in that moment, seeing her how she was meant to be, for the first time.

She closed the oven door, spun around, wiped her still-floured hands on her hips, and set to making the glaze. She was so proud of herself, being able to perfectly time each step.  She didn’t even notice how he watched her in amazement. 

As she let the glaze and doughnuts cool enough, she rummaged around the kitchenette a bit more to find a shiny lidded tin she’d compulsively kept. Some habits never die. In this case, it was Tyche’s habit of collecting nice containers. 

“Perfect!” She exclaimed as she lined in with a clean linen. This’ll do nicely.

After she drizzled the glaze of the doughnuts and allowed it to set, she meticulously arranged all but one of the fresh confections in the tin. She slid the one she kept out over to Antoine and propped leaned over the island on her elbows.

“Go ahead, try it,” she said with the biggest smile.

Antoine bit down into the thick, cakey doughnut. “Mmm! This is perfect! But how do you remember how to do that after everything that happened?”

Tyche shrugged her infamous shrug, but before she could say anything, the door chimed. 

It was Conor, stopping by with a message from Arantxa no doubt. She let him in and he made a bee-line for the source of the delicious smell. Before he could manage to grab a lemon-glazed blueberry doughnut, Tyche’s small hand smacked the back of his.

“Not for you, Conor! I made these for Antoine,” she snapped the lid of the tin shut quite poignantly as she spoke.

“But they smell so good!” Conor faked a pout.

She crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame to the kitchenette. “These are made for Antoine. That’s what my family does when we love someone.”

Antoine nearly choked on his treat, caught completely off guard. 

Tyche immediately realized what she said and snapped a hand over her mouth, turning red. True to her hard-built character, she lowered her hand just enough to say, “Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.”

[canyouhearthelight]

OMG I am crying! I love it SO MUCH!!! 💜😢💜😢💜😢💜😢💜

[xbunnyclawsx]

Credit: IG-@6aliens

[poisonnightmares]

[ritualistic-raven]

#sorrynotsorry

I haven't been on this blog in a few weeks and missed out on reblogging the latest chapters of my sister's story. The reblogging is more organized on paris but yeah you're still gonna get to see it here too

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 19

This chapter is somewhat shorter than I hoped for and shorter than what I have been posting lately (this is a hair over 1500 words, and I’ve been doing really well posting between 2000 and 2300 lately). I struggled with the decision of whether to force myself to add more, or to post it as is.  In the end, I decided that I would rather post a chapter I was happy with, rather than forcing more words and mucking it up.

The good news is, we actually get to meet Grey Hodenson ( @werewolf2578, I hope I did them justice!), our Councilor over Research.

Read and review… I love feedback!

Keep reading

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 18

Happy 2019, Everyone!   While 2018 was a rough one in a lot of regards, I am always thankful that it is the year that I really got going on this story.  I really want to thank everyone who has been following this far, and I hope to keep you all engaged in the year to come.  One of my goals for the year (I do not do resolutions) is to post at least 2k words each week for this story, without interruption.  Wish me luck!

Shoutout in this chapter goes to @werewolf2578, because this is the chapter where we first mention her character Grey Hodenson.  Don’t worry, I’m not finished with Zach Khan yet, by a long shot!

Keep reading

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 17

Here is Part 2 of the Insert Winter Holiday Special!  Lots of fluff, more of everyone’s (my) favorite adorably pining Irishman, and special guest Zach Khan (credit for character goes to @thatkidfrompinterest)

No warnings on this chapter.  Please enjoy, like, comment, review. Feedback is awesomesauce.

((P.S. I finally learned how to insert a ‘Keep Reading’ !  Yay, me!))

Keep reading

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 16

This is the shorter of the two chapters I wrote this week, clocking in at a wee 1875 words.  What a big difference from chapters 3 and 5, which were less than 900 words combined!  In this chapter, we have more of my non-verbal autistic character, and I really hope I did him justice.  If I have any fans who are on the spectrum, your feedback would be absolutely invaluable so I can edit this and make necessary changes to my next chapter.

Also, full credit to @seperis, from whose work I totally cribbed “Insert Winter Holiday of Choice”.  I did not make that up, I took it from their series Down to Agincourt (Very awesome, huge work, please go find it on ao3 and read all of it. Like, rightnow.  I’ll be here when you get back). 

“Mac the Christmas Cat” became quite popular on the ship, unsurprisingly.  Within an hour of the clip being made publicly available to the ship, Mac had become the ship’s official harbinger of Insert Winter Holiday of Choice Here.  Within a day, I was starting to worry if the Miys was capable of a mass-aneurysm. It just did not understand Terran humor and was constantly rubbing its smaller hands together in any given body, a gesture I learned was the equivalent of a human pinching the bridge of their nose.

“I don’t understand the humor of a cat riding a tampered cleaning droid,” Noah huffed next to me as we walked down the corridor a week before the holiday.

“Well, it’s the two individually,” I started as I tried to get my thoughts together.  While I knew they were capable of seeing what was going on in my mind, we had established that conversations were easier when I spoke, so that the Miys knew which thoughts to focus on. “First, you have the idea of ‘Mac the Christmas Cat’.  While there is nothing particularly festive about Mac, he came to my quarters in the midst of a conversation around the holidays.  Add to that the fact that there are several winter holidays celebrated on Earth, and a big, friendly black cat is a really good compromise for an avatar of a generic holiday.  The tampered Roomba is an old Terran memetic device, so most people on board are delighted just as an automatic reaction.  Put the two together, and the combination appeals to just about everyone on the ship.  Terrans really do delight in the absurd.”  I gestured at a small, shrub-like plant in the corner that had not been there the day before. “That’s new.”

My observation only elicited a groan from the massive hippo-spider next to me. “Human Conor and Human Derek have been very – efficient – I see.  They have been relocating coniferous botanicals of various sizes all over the ship.  I also suspect they are behind the improper appropriation of lights and large requisitions of various papers.”

“Christmas trees and lights, Noah. They are very important!” I failed to keep a smile off my face. “And I hate to be the one to tell you, but the wrapping paper is me.  It’s custom to exchange gifts in most cultures, and we cover them in pretty paper first so that we can have them on display and build anticipation.  I’m just more… enthusiastic, than most, about wrapping gifts.”

“Do you mean the paper sculptures you made this morning?”

“Mmm hmm.  They are actually folded around gifts.”

“I will concede.  The paper sculptures are actually pretty impressive.”

“Thank you.”

As we continued our walk, I saw several more trees, some already decorated, along with lights that were strung up in a few of the public areas.  Bows of all different colors were suspended in every available corner, by whom I had no idea but I suspected that was Sam.  His favorite form of stimming was making intricate knots and the most beautiful bows. Noah and I were approaching a bend in the corridor, when I suddenly heard a thickly accented cry of “Bring me… a SHRUBBERY!” followed by shuffling and a mumbled “thanks, mate.”  The Miys next to me sighed again – they were definitely picking up more and more human mannerisms – as I stifled a giggle.

True to my suspicions, around the bend was Conor, Derek, and a flat cargo transport full of potted trees. Conor was adjusting the tree slightly per Derek’s signed directions.  I schooled my face before clearing my throat gently.  The Irishman stood up suddenly with an expression like a spooked horse, while Derek just dropped his hands and lowered his head, back still toward me.  “Why am I not surprised to find you two distributing trees?”

“Sophie – “

“Councillor, Conor. I’m here in my official capacity.”

“Councillor, then. Insert Winter Holiday of Choice is in less a week!  We need the decorations out, ASAP.”  He glanced down at Derek’s flying hands. “And Derek says you secretly love it.  Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part.”

“Derek, please turn around. You two aren’t in trouble, I just want to make sure things don’t go overboard.”  Derek did turn around, but kept his face down towards the ground. “Now, just how many of these trees are there?”

Conor just scratched his neck and started to find the ceiling incredibly fascinating.  When I looked at Derek, he shuffled before responding. <400. 200 fake 200 real. Allergies.>

“Oh,” I was slightly surprised.  I looked up at Noah. “That’s not so bad. The artificial trees can go back into resource allotment after the holiday.  Only half the trees are real.  Apparently, they were being considerate of people with allergies.”

“The pollen will make extra work for the atmospheric scrubbers, Wisdom.”

“Actually, the trees are immature and don’t produce pollen, Noah,” Conor corrected. “The allergen concern is around the sap: it’s very strong smelling, and some people have bad reactions when they touch it.”

“And how did you successfully determine who has these reactions?”  If it had been my sister speaking, an arched eyebrow would have accompanied that tone.

Apparently Conor heard the same thing, because he blanched slightly at the question. “Well, about that. You see – “

<I got them from medical> Derek interrupted.

“But you aren’t assigned to medical, Human Derek.”

<No shit>

I sighed and placed a hand on Noah’s lower shoulder. “Derek, did you hack into the ship’s medical data again?”

<Obviously>

“You cannot keep doing that. It’s a violation of their privacy.  They don’t want someone else looking at their medical records, just like you don’t want the Miys placing recording equipment in your quarters. We talked about this.”

<This was faster. Are you going to put recorders in my quarters?> His hands trembled slightly now.

“What? Cheese and rice, no. You don’t want them, they aren’t going in there. End of story.  We respect your privacy.  I need you to respect other people’s privacy, okay?”

<Am I in trouble again?>

I ran a hand down my face. Truth be told, Derek was only a teenager.  Which meant he spent the majority of his life in the After.  To him, the concept of ‘in trouble’ was terrifying.  It was a constant struggle when he did things he shouldn’t.  Disciplinary action was one thing, but the first time we used the term ‘in trouble’, he actually thought we were going to torture him.

“You’re grounded from Mac. For two weeks this time. And you have to fix every hole you used to get into the medical database.  Don’t bother leaving any back doors, I’m going to have Zachary Khan triple check it this time.”

<Mac will be sad> he tried to wheedle.

“Mac will be fine. He’s a celebrity now, so he’ll get plenty of attention.”

<But Christmas> Damn it, he had me there.  It would be monstrous to keep Derek from his best friend on Christmas.

“Get the database fixed, let me have Zach check it out, and I’ll consider visiting privileges on Christmas.”

<Fine>

“And Zach is going to make sure you deleted the data you took.”

<Fuck. I hoped you forgot that part>

“Nice try, but no dice, dude.  Now, y’all get the rest of those trees up.  Conor, don’t let him get into any more trouble, please? You’re supposed to be an adult.”

Conor waved us off with a cheeky grin as he and Derek headed to their next drop off point.  Noah made a sweeping gesture at them as they departed before asking “Why do you encourage their behavior? This entire ‘holiday’ seems a dreadful waste of resources.  Wars have been fought over it in your past.  And yet, all of you insist on continuing the practice.  I find I am baffled.”

“As far as continuing the holiday: Wars were never actually fought over the existence of a winter holiday.  Sure, there is an entire group of things that are termed ‘The War on Christmas’, but that was really just a sort of social campaign in the early days of the Political Correctness movement. We were treating the symptoms while we worked on solving the overall problem of non-tolerance.  So, you had a very vocal group of people who believed Christmas was the only proper winter holiday, who spoke out against anything that was meant to include people who celebrated any of the other winter holidays.  At the time, I’m sure it was quite important to them, but looking back now, it’s really rather silly.  Eventually, as people became more tolerant of those who believed in different religions or none at all, the so-called war fizzled out.  We continue it here because it is really a celebration of hope in most religions, maybe all.  And what better time to have hope than on an alien ship, saved from our collapsing world, on our way to set up a colony twelve-hundred light years away?  It’s amazing, really.

“And that’s honestly why I encourage Conor and Derek. And Sam. And anyone else who is throwing their efforts behind celebrating the holiday.  Because it is uniting us, it gives us hope, it makes us focus more on our fellow beings than on ourselves.  The holiday is really a celebration of all the best parts of humanity, and we could use that. We’re having to start over, and it would help if we remember that we are worth saving.  The rest of the Council agrees with me.  So, in all public spaces, we have Insert Winter Holiday of Choice, with Mac the Cat as it’s face.  Festive decorations of all colors, foliage, lights, just wonderful cozy good will all over the place.  In private spaces, each person or family celebrates whatever holiday they observe personally, and include anyone they wish to.  Which reminds me, there is a proposal I need to discuss with you regarding the public dining areas: the Council has approved a motion to have each dining area serve traditional food aligned with one of the various holidays, sort of a cultural exchange.  How would we best go about doing that?”

The Miys buzzed as it thought the problem over. “Ideally, you would have someone from each religion go to their respective dining area and ensure the consoles are programmed to serve the needed foods.  Do you have sufficient programmers prepared for the task?” The humans on board had shown a remarkable preference for learning to do everything on the ship, and performing as many of the tasks as they could on their own.  The Miys had already suspended three-quarters of its bodies due to the lack of work for it to perform.

“Well, I have a few. I could probably get Derek to help, and use that to shorten his restriction from Mac.”

“That was an incredibly cruel punishment, Wisdom,” the Miys teased.

I threw my hands up in mock defense. “Hey!  What he did would have been a felony in the Before, and he would have been locked in a prison for a long time given how many times he’s done it in the past. Grounding him from my cat was really not as bad as it could have been.”

[ritualistic-raven]

Oh hi there @baelpenrose I hope you aren't expecting to find any writing here. However, I am currently working on something for The Miys per the author's request. Still working on some details of it, with her help of course. It's very exciting, really!

My current much more active blog is @parisconstantine though. I made it in case this account was axed after Staff lost their collective minds. Another human thing, no? Creating new accounts in order to survive on a moderately okay site? I was damned determined to stick around. Wanted to see if Tumblr would finally collapse under the weight of its incompetence. Truly something Tyche would do. Hang around out of tenacity and morbid curiosity (hey sis, we should figure out how to get my morbid curiosity in there somewhere).

[lurkererkay]

Are you lost honey?

[appalachianheretic]

“If men had wings and bore black feathers, few of them would be clever enough to be crows.” - H.W.B

[scissorspider]

i was about to joke about how my political stance is “end lawnmower culture” but then it occurred to me that i actually Am against lawns as suburban status symbols and wastes of land that Could be used to sustain native flora & fauna and grow food for people, but no, instead they are these huge useless swaths of land that need Constant maintenance, the process of which is not only destructive, but Incredibly Loud

[turtletot43-deactivated20180723]

You know that actually is the purpose of a lawn? They started as a trend of the French monarchy - the ones revolutionaries beheaded for being self indulgent assholes.

It exists purely as a status symbol that says, “I have land but I don’t have to use it for anything productive. I can invest time, money and resources in maintaining an entirely useless crop on land I’m not farming just because it looks pretty.”

Lawns offend me.

[bigwordsandsharpedges]

Why have that stunted golf course in front of your suburban house if you can’t even water it? Get one of these instead.

[pollymol-deactivated20181115]

Unite Against the Lawn

[vikingofficial-deactivated20241]

Pro tiny house, anti grass lawn. Prioritize practicality.

[whitefriartuck]

This is actually really interesting because back in the 1950s and 60s in Australia when we started getting large waves of Southern European migrants one thing the Italians and others would often so is buy a little suburban home, then tear out the ornamental flower beds and lawn and useless trees and plant fruits, vegetables, grapes and even olives. It was considered completely scandalous by their Anglo-Saxon neighbours because lawn was considered an aspirational thing and the ideal was to go from not needing a kitchen garden and having an ornamental garden to show how well you were doing.

[ireallyluvdogs]

This is great. All of it. Not to derail this too much, but “Lawnmower” culture also reminds me of aggressively heterosexual men. Men ALWAYS will use mowing the lawn as a way to get out of doing all the other household chores – having a lawn that a man mows somehow makes maintaining everything else inside a house the women’s responsibility. Down with lawnmower culture.

[hestiasroom]

i’ve actually read a whole book on lawns and lawn culture (yes, really) it’s called lawn people by paul robbins check it out and let’s all boycott lawn culture together!!!

[madsciences]

@hoaxtumbles I want a vegetable lawn 

[ayyymagician-deactivated2017012]

Agriburb!

[zohbugg]

I have never really thought about how lawns came to be like a standard thing but wow this makes sense. I hate mowing the lawn boycott all lawns

[lepidosaurs]

lawns actually cause a lot of habitat fragmentation for local wildlife and plants so fuck lawns

[missingrache]

Article about biodiversity and how lawns are Not Good and plants you can grow to help

Video about the same!

[goldenheartedrose]

This is so great.

[kylos-knight-deactivated2016050]

Also, some of my neighbors have really big lawns and I mean really, and I think I was so baffled a few years ago that I asked one of them, “so what is a lawn for exactly?” and they said “Idk so my kids can play on it” but honey how many kids actually play on their front lawn I mean I have never seen a single youngling on that grass football field in front of your house

[liminalhat]

@tea-zilla

[grenadineghost]

only tumblr would have lawn discourse

and only tumblr would convince me to take a stand against lawns

[akamine-chan]

😏