Nilchard Hilmous Rixon

37th president of the United American Socialist Republics!

[rixon-official]

I would never plant listening devices in the office of my political enemies. That's why they call me Honest Nick.

[rixon-official]

My fellow communists,

It has recently come to my attention that having a UASR mascot would be cool as fuck. Any ideas?

- glorious leader Rixon

[nixon-official]

Is Russia communist propaganda?

Yes.

[downwithcisdriver]

Privyet Tovarishch.

[downwithcisdriver]

I should probably say this means Hello COMRADE!!!!!!

Am I implying Nixon is a communist, who knows?

[nixon-official]

hey im not a communist stop

[rixon-official]

I am.

[nixon-official]

Nixon honey, I'm starting to think that your relationship with @hoover-fbi isn't healthy... Have you talked to @kennedy-official about this?

I'm currently locked in the F.B.I.'s psychological reconditioning chamber. I miss my boyfriend - I wish I could be with him right now! 😢

[rixon-official]

@hoovenov-kgb can we look into breaking Mr. Nixon out of the F.B.I's brainwashing facility?

I have unfinished plans for him.

[rixon-official]

Glorious comrades, we would like to say that we have not been fiddling around with highly expiremental time-altering technology, and we would never test it out on the political enemies of the UASR. On an entirely unrelated note, television and radio broadcasts from the USA have shut off due to... umm... uhh.... electromagnetic wave rationing.

[nixon-official]

Goddamned communist PSYOPS! Get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head!!!!

[trudeau-official]

I wonder, if we make Richard a communist will all this stop? Will, by providing an inequality that could never cause him to say this to start, end all this wackiness?

@rixon-official @emobernie

You know what must be done

[rixon-official]

Right away, comrade!

@hoovenov-kgb

Prepare the device.

[trudeau-official]

@the-pope-offical

Father, what is this devil game??? It goes by the, er, name only of, the insidious....

[the-pope-offical]

they shoot you to use your body as a ladder...

[trudeau-official]

NATO MUST BE NOTIFIED OVER THIS THREAT TO WORLD WIDE SAFTY!!! HOW COULD THEY LET CHILDREN PLAY THIS??????

[trudeau-official]

@nixon-official @britain-offical @armin-laschet-offiziell @sappho-offical I understand our differences but we must put them aside we must notify NATO

[sappho-offical]

Did...I just get tagged in a quest to notify NATO about a devilish children's game?

Did I win an election or ambassadorship that no one told me about?

@mailman-offical Did I have mail you never delivered?

[mailman-offical]

I have not been notified of this?

Mr. Trudeau, why did you not send me any request to send out this information? I too am very confused.

[sappho-offical]

The mysteries of the mail...

[doomedyaoioffical]

i understan the concern of mr trudeau, we call it snakes and ladders here

[trudeau-official]

THERES SNAKES INVOLVED NOW????

[rixon-official]

Capitalist snakes and ladders that lead to the evils of rampant greed! We must destroy this threat as soon as possible!

[trudeau-official]

So

@rixon-official What's our next move against capitalism

[rixon-official]

Excellent question, comrade!

The fastest way to destroy a nation is to demoralize its people! Therefore, I suggest we remove all the Tim Hortons from the USA. That'll teach those evil capitalists!

[trudeau-official]

@rixon-official HELP HELP WHAT DO I DO

THE CAPITALISTS ARE THEATENING NUKES IVE NEVER DONES THRIS BEFORE AHHHH

[rixon-official]

STAY CALM, COMRADE!

We have a ship carrying nukes of our own on the way to Canada as we speak! Just remember, do not fire unless Nixon fires first!

[trudeau-official]

HOWS RHAT SUPPOSED TO HELP ANYTHIG???

NUKES ARE THE PROVLEM HOW DO WE STOP THEIRS????

[rixon-official]

Hang on, I have an idea...

@nixon-official We have every single bald eagle, the statue of liberty, the entire state of Texas and the declaration of independence!

If you nuke Canada, we're gonna vaporize all of them, collect the ashes, and turn them into cement to build a giant statue of Karl Marx.

I MEAN IT!!! DON'T TEST ME!!!

Also, don't go check on any of those things because... uhhh... they're here. In the UASR. Totally. And definitely absolutely a hundred percent not still in the USA. Yep.

[trudeau-official]

@rixon-official HELP HELP WHAT DO I DO

THE CAPITALISTS ARE THEATENING NUKES IVE NEVER DONES THRIS BEFORE AHHHH

[rixon-official]

STAY CALM, COMRADE!

We have a ship carrying nukes of our own on the way to Canada as we speak! Just remember, do not fire unless Nixon fires first!

[trudeau-official]

You and me should merge our nations to nuke the shit out of Nixon and bring about a new world order: humanities golden age, completely devoid of evil western capitalism! Glory to Canada and the UASR!

Yours communistly,

@rixon-official

Nukes are not my, uh, "way", im afraid

but for you, Rixon, I'll do it... I will join your alliance.

[rixon-official]

Thank you, comrade Trudeau! Nixon and his capitalist dictatorship will be crushed by our unstoppable alliance! Marx bless you, Mr. Prime minister, and glory to Canada!

[rixon-official]

We would like to congratulate socialist hero Mr. Strange for destroying the evil capitalist monster, the croaker! Enemies from the west seek to destroy our perfect republic, and comrade Strange has prevailed in vanquishing one of the most powerful of these monsters. A statue will be erected in honour of comrade Strange, and bread rations will be increased to 80 grams a day. Glory to UASR, comrades!

[rixon-official]

That evil and foreboding portal behind me? It's nothing, don't worry about it. Help yourself to an amnestic, comrade!