destiny is for losers.

sweet, a little bit selfish.

[rkxuanyi]

parrichadam:

I don’t need a valentine, I need Valentino

[rkxuanyi]

☇   @wutangxuan brb currently lounging on a beach in bali 🌴

[rkxuanyi]

fallen kingdoms

[rkxuanyi]

rkxiao:

should she have felt better that they weren’t in a bathroom that time around? it was still the same old xuanyi and xiao wasn’t left impressed that she was the one who needed to visit her friend for her own birthday. the girl couldn’t have even done the effort. was the last time they met really the previous year? to think back then xuanyi was complaining about how they didn’t spend enough time together made her laugh. how ridiculous.

“thank you.” there wasn’t much excitement in her voice but she was still thankful. at least she had bought a gift. it was common for her, yes, but at least xiao could count on a constant. “a wish?” unexpected. the girl was filled with expected surprises. what should she ask for? what she always asked: money. the fire was blown dead and she cheered with a clap. “does it count if it’s not actually on my birthday? or is this all fake hope?”

her fingers wanted to bring the cake closer to herself; make it hers. it continued sitting between them, only waiting for someone to take the first bite. the bracelet filled with memories wrapped her wrist, waiting for a new addition to the collection. “what did you bring me this year?”

it’s fixed, her smile. contains a million intricate pieces that with one small tap, could either brighten or wither beneath the touch. much like most of xuanyi’s woes, she’s weaved this one to it’s very existence. tightly wound, nearing the breaking point -- one more tug and perhaps it would shatter all together. as was most of her relationships, they were nothing but fragile fragments that were either too easily discarded or too loosely built. never a tether to hold onto, somehow, she had gotten it into her own lovesick mind that maybe these ones would be different. she had known xiao the longest of her friends but, she forgets, longest never really means true. 

so she holds the other’s words at the edge of the plank, silently wondering whether she’ll be pushed into shark-infested waters or saved by the bell. were they a double-edged sword ready to strike -- had xiao finally realized they were at their crossroads, no longer could they walk beside one another ( or never really beside, more of a lingering ghost that pops up every now and then ) ? she hoped not. “well, if you wish with all your heart, i think god or whatever higher power can cut you some slack.”

she’s a terrible friend, a fact xuanyi won’t admit sincerely, so like always -- she comes with pretty gifts. the only way she thinks she can make up to her terribleness, “guess.” she says; fingers pulling up an unmarked black tote, settled with tissue paper and a slim black box carrying xiao’s gift. 

[ohsharethekmusic]

Visit Original Link

Song : New Day (ft. Sanchez)

Artist : Microdot

Album : Prophet

[rkxuanyi]

saturated in color

&. —     @rkdokyeom . ˟ 

the tides have turned. where winter breaks that were once a godsend, filled with time and essence better spilled into extracurricular activities are now used up as blistering moments. spent agonizing over how fast vacation had flown by and the first day back to school had come running. it was, above all, annoying. 

her only solace these days seemed to be the weekend. days that didn’t include excessive practices for the upcoming season or the packed on classes that somehow were relevant to her getting an average standing in order to graduate. these were the days xuanyi could finally breathe without someone else’s cheddar cheese breath wolfing down her neck. 

it was also one of the very few days she could spent seeing her beloved seokmin. winter break didn’t suffice, especially when it became both her and his busiest -- with the winter season and his own trainee duties, finding time to bother seokmin with her busybody self began to lessen and lessen until the only time she could muscle to see him was through crystalline glass and shitty cellphone reception. it was terrible.

today would not be one of those days. 

“let’s go in here, i think that jacket would look so good on you.” she says as she pulls at his arm, coming short of one of the shops in cheongdam.

[rkxuanyi]

wild thoughts

[rkxuanyi]

yienrk:

kisses are usually soft, touches are usually reserved and prude. and then come those moments, brief moments when all her barriers seem to fall. when others would interpret her body language as a yes. however, he knows better. he knows to take what is given to him and not expect more. it would be a lie to say he doesn’t long for more. an obvious lie, one that he tries to conceal from her as much as possible. a difficult task when everything about her  entrances him. how can he remain aware of himself when she bewilders all his senses? from the sweetness of her lips, to the softness of her skin, to the sight of her under him and the sounds of breathing. but he respects her. he respects her pureness, her innocence. he respects her body, her mind. and he loves her. complying to one’s wish is so much easier with love. 

he should be wiser. he should stop it now, not only for her, also for his own sake, for the frustration he will inevitably feel if this keeps going. yet every time he pulls away from her lips, every time he opens his eyes and stares at her, he wants more, he needs more. and hands creep slowly to places they shouldn’t be, body presses a little closer, kisses become a little deeper. 

he doesn’t hear anything at first. the world outside of this bedroom doesn’t matter. the world is them, only the two of them. but their bubble is about to burst. it’s hard to pull apart, it’s hard to speak. his voice sounds like he hasn’t spoken for days. “didn’t you hear something?”

xuanyi had always loved her games. played them once, you play them all. today bears another one. where lips press chaste kisses into his and hands go further than she’s used to. today, unlike all those other games she’s played, xuanyi comes without her peace of mind -- runs the route haphazardly ; plays along until she’s sated by touch. she’s all games and little coherency. it’s a looming caution that guards her heart and opens it with each press of her lips against the corner of his ; to every breath that gets caught when she feels hands roam dangerously close. she should stop -- unsteady breathing calls for alarm and her hands are ready to push away at broad shoulders when all they really do is pull him closer. 

it’s the opposite of what she really wants but it happens, continues to do so as her kisses are stolen and she’s deaf to distractions. but she hears it, hears the heaviness in his voice -- returns it with her own ; pressing words into the plains of exposed skin. “not really.” it’s a nonchalant answer. spoken from the heart rather than the mind, she pays none of it to the world outside of her four walls. she’s left in motion, of hands tugging at sleeves and pulling him back into her. where sheets envelope her and she’s more or less, a slip of the senses. always was the first to let go, and the first to stop. always teasing until the very brink, but today wasn’t going to be one of those days. 

today, she wanted it to be different.

[discardedtwigs]

he said, if the world ends tonight what would you do? she said, i would eat the monster’s heart he was kneeling at her feet, as his heart demanded she was looking down on him, her eyes mocking the youthful yearning of his restless hands she did not know how to say, i need you because she did not know how to be anything but lonely and he did not know how to say, i love you because he had always feared the whims of another’s heart she saw the monster and he saw the beast both aching for the company, their blood  coursing with the need for whatever love beasts and monsters can feel for each other he said, what if i devour this world tonight? she said, i would feast with you

but what do they know of love? — Linn D. (via discardedtwigs)

[seunghi]

[rkxuanyi]

seunghi:

Xuan Yi ♡ Secret

[yienrk]

deepening mystery, tangled desire

[rkxuanyi]

yienrk:

here she comes and behind his face mask, yien can’t help but smile. he expected no less from his girlfriend. her outfit is ill fitted for the occasion, but she looks like a million bucks. she’s unmissable. dating her after debut would become difficult with how much attention she could garner on herself. that wasn’t going to stop him however. the irritation on her pretty face is a bonus. he could’ve brought two pieces of clothes and gain entrance for the two of them, but he was liked seeing his girlfriend out of her comfort zone, or he was just a masochist (maybe both). at least, he can only blame himself for the lack of enthusiasm for their date. Because this is, before everything else, a formal date.

her words are met by an eyeroll. He’s not annoyed (yet). “yeah, yeah…” he drops as he pulls his mask and leans closer to press his lips softly on hers. No better way to shut up a whining girlfriend than with a surprise kiss. “hi to you too, really glad to see you too.” he whispers close to her lips before pulling away completely and pulling back his mask up to his nose. “mind if i take this?” the trainee asks as he gently takes the tote. he’s probably asked her enough by making her donate one of her out of price coat. “any more threats you have to word before we go skating?” a year ago, yien doubts he would’ve been able to be as patient and impassive in front of xuanyi’s attitude. he likes to believe he has grown and matured in character, deep down he knows he just really likes the girl just the way she is.

her cheeks burn bright, red tint dusted along chilled skin. a causality from his kiss or frostbitten from cold, who really knew. it’s a small moment of peace where her mind blanks and she’s the least bit displeased, more enthralled -- paralyzed in her steps. it ends too quickly and the pout returns when eyes blink open, a huff from her lips that escapes in a cloud. arms unfolding from their crossed position against her chest to reach for his hand, pulling him back; warmth a necessity for one who wore too little.

fingers pass over the bag without a word. and with little words come greater actions as her hand sneaks their way to his and pinches at his wrist. obviously disgruntled by his words, but she supposes she can let it pass, they were on a date, after all. being on her best behavior, though the odds were stacked against her, was probably going to be her hardest opponent for the day. xuanyi had always been her worst enemy: her and her big mouth.

“i wasn’t threatening you,” the words pass off as defensive as she looks at him, brushing hairs back behind her ears when doe eyes narrow. “i was just reminding you, what if you forgot -- how else am i going to get you to hold up your end of the deal.”

a part of her is excited at the thought of ice-skating, the last time she went was when her father had taken her for her birthday all those years ago. it’s a bittersweet memory, but one enjoyed nevertheless once upon a time ago. it had been one of her fondest memories with him, now horridly tainted. she hopes that today could change that -- a new memory to replace the ones she’s ready to let go of. “do you know how to skate, 哥哥?” 

[rkjongin-blog1]

`   WINTER RAIN.

to have a free time for himself is such a breathing space, especially since he started being a trainee — days have been sprinting past him in the speed of light, so to wake up for just one day without having to rush to nova building, heading straight to the practice room, is definitely embedded with a height of gratitude. but it’s not his kind of day to not sing or dance at all, fairly uncharacteristic despite its already becoming a routine for him. and so, after half a day of lazing in his room, catching up with social media and whatnot, he decides to grab his coat and walk out of the penthouse, heading towards the nearest dance studio.

it’s not anywhere he usually frequents, but he loves the atmosphere so far. located in the prestigious area, it certainly has a reputation to uphold. as he doesn’t have an appointment and the place is fully booked, he merely asks for a consent to walk around, and they let him. he wanders in the aisles, and peeks in discreetly to see what people are doing through the small windows on the doors. he’s in the midst of combing the second floor when he sees someone in a room, alone, doing ballet. as it reminds him of his own childhood, he lingers for a while.   (   &. @rkxuanyi   )

[rkxuanyi]

it begins again, and again -- and again. an obsessive need to become better heightens around this time of year. with roles on the line and the absolute desire to achieve greatness, she pulls at the reigns. screams with all her might and accelerates forward. the song begins again, and again -- and again. does so until she’s absolutely exhausted, but even then -- it begins again. it does so until she’s sated to her wits end. the routine is pounded into the very depths of her mind, cured into muscle memory until it’s the last thing she can even remember as she takes a breath. the song ends and she begins. legs waver slightly, toes hurt but she wades on.

she spins and the world around her falls to their feet. it’s a dream, of course, but it continues until she’s bowing. arms outstretched before her -- the very swan she wished to become a step or two shy of. it’s all too much but she’ll begin again -- ignores the noise that opening doors makes and begins until her legs ache and her muscles weaken. 

[yienrk]

deepening mystery, tangled desire

Only when I’m next to you, I become smaller, a naive bad boy – You’re always smiling and all these feelings built up in my heart – It’s your fault, bad girl

every relationships are different they say, but most of the time, they all began  and ended the same way for yien; a burning passion from the beginning that died within a couple of weeks. this one, however, was truly different. he never expected to develop feelings for xuanyi when they first met. she was just a cute younger “meimei”, her antics, that could annoy many, amused him. being younger and having such a smile was enough to be excused for anything she did. she never did him wrong, maybe that was why he could be so lenient with her. she only amused him with her shameless comments on his instagram posts. it was nothing serious back them.

but today, as he waited for her, he felt nervous. and he liked it. he liked how she made him feel; even when they argued, he liked the way they made up. he couldn’t wait to see her pouty face as she had to be coerced into coming to seoul plaza; two weeks of patbingsu in exchange of a single piece of clothe (that he was convinced she didn’t wear anymore). maybe she couldn’t see beyond her parting with her good, but he knew this would be one of his last occasion to enjoy proper dates with the one who accepted to wait for him. but he was still careful, even moreso now that a certain cf had started playing; only his eyes were could be seen behind his face mask and under his beanie, dark red locks properly tucked away. considering the weather, he wasn’t the only one wearing such items and blended well with other young people around.

@rkxuanyi

[rkxuanyi]

winter in seoul is as bitter as ever, cool winds that nip at red ankles and knees that just hated the scratchy traps that were denim. an outfit not exactly fit for the cold, she wears like it’s the first day of spring. coat belted over a slender waist, beret and matching scarf kept close, she appears -- bearing gifts, of course. her beloved chanel coat of the 2017 spring ready to wear collection had been a favorite of hers, now locked away under a confection of silk and chanel’s patented glossy black. the beautiful pink gingham that had eclipsed the epitome of fashion that year had her in awe for the entire season -- until summer came and coats were lost in exchange for cute swimsuits and summer heat. alas, despite the change in seasons -- summer heat softly was blown aside for fall leaves and in turn, winter fun. 

but with winter came the need for coats -- and though, xuanyi didn’t have any use for this particular piece. it did hold some semblance of her heart, parting with it deeply engraved a sense of sorrow within her. especially when she had to hand it over in order to gain passage.

it’s a roundabout sign of defeat as she leaves the entrance to venture further, glancing about for yien. the string of irritation is marked by the unpleasant ruffle in her brow; arms crossed over her chest as the tote dangles from her elbow. just carrying it about made her annoyed, the thought of it alone going to hands that were far from worthy only increased the displeasure tenfold. 

“i hope you know what i’m giving up just to be here.” she says once she spots him, arms still crossed. partly true, not much really had to be given to sway her favor. the patbingsu was obviously an added bonus -- spending her time with yien never seemed like a hassle. the fact that she had to give up one of her prized possessions to do so just didn’t sit well with her in the slightest. somehow, patbingsu lessened the blow. “and you better not back out of our deal or else, you owe me a new coat.” 

[thelovejournals]

Psychology says, you’re not afraid to love, you’re afraid of not being loved back.

Anonymous (via thelovejournals)

[rkxuanyi]

but in girl world, halloween is the one night a year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it   ,    part one .

there were several things that xuanyi looked forward to each year; halloween being among those spooky little things. something about dressing up in theatrically hysterical costumes and parading around, poking fun at others, judging costumes from afar had always brought the terrible being in her a little pinch of joy; even if it only lasted a night. 

it was still fun -- for her, that is. 

this year comes no different: along with the traditional several weeks in advance of costume-picking is the not so traditional addition of a boyfriend. unfortunately for him, what one’s mindset should have been on how to get away with dressing up this year without causing any disgruntled arguments on the other’s behalf is otherwise concerned with whether the shade of pink would wash her out and whether the peach fluffy babydoll would even fit. nonsensical things that are trivial in nature are mounted higher in her priorities; an obvious distraction from the stress that exams should have been is practically her only salvation these days. 

yien’s own reminders did little to ease her mind -- what little voluntary attention she did apply was rare and were made to appease him. just thinking about the books were already giving her a migraine. 

“ugh --” comes the scoff, a shake of her head as fingers push another set of costumes away from the rack. she feels the press of a hand upon her shoulder and flinches as her somi’s face comes into view. 

“what?” the other asks, bubblebum pop mincing words and disregarding any chance of a normal reply. it elicits xuanyi’s dismissal, the removal of hands from bony shoulders and the diminishing of malicious intent into the form of friendly smiles. 

“nothing -- just thought halloween came a little early this year.” pointed hues narrow, a grin is placed before she’s turning away again to the racks. outfits pushed back and forth as she tries her hardest to reconsider her costume for the year. she contemplates her options: baring the cold, seoul nights versus shouldering the hypothetical wrath her boyfriend may have for her. what to choose, what to choose -- hm. perhaps she was in need of a change. maybe she could forgo dressing up for the sake of yien’s sanity.

pft, as if. 

right on the mark -- hands spring upon the dress; coining the pink and soft fabric flush against her body. using her friend’s incredulous stare as her own mirror of approval. “what about this?” she asks, fingers tiptoeing along the exaggerated dip along the bodice. “think it’ll upset him?” 

the question itself needs no other answer; the way somi’s eyes dance, from surprise to amusement is all the confirmation xuanyi needs -- it’s a screaming yes if there ever was one. ( not that either of them would actually scream in public ) once more reiterated by the other’s nod, “there’s no way he wouldn’t be.”

plush lips part ; thin, chesire grin appearing as she turns; sheer pink overflowing from eager fingertips. “perfect!”

it was safe to say, she couldn’t wait for yien to see what she had in store for him on halloween. 

[rkxuanyi]

fallen kingdoms

&. —     @rkxiao . ˟ 

it’s a strange discourse that never really ends nor has a definite beginning. a time in being that replays over and over again that gives history repeats itself a run for its money ; not that any of that was needed -- xuanyi could spare a few won being wasted on time itself. ideally, wasted on luxurious goods that feign forgiveness for an apology that never gets said and falls through the cracks of an ugly friendship that she never admits to ruining. of course, what never gets said essentially never needs to be apologized for. 

fingers push another gift, another year after before the other. spotted in a more open setting. neither the porcelain throne nor the glacial walls conceal is welcomed by nipping cool winds and fresh air among a veranda boxed with aesthetic greenery and twinkling lights dwelling in the night that xuanyi couldn’t quite care for. at least it set the stage for a pretty face donning a pretty apologetic smile. 

“happy birthday!” she cheers, fingers raised to a glassed half-filled; almost clinking mid-air as if asking for another refill. xuanyi pauses, lips rumpled as she remembers the minute detail that almost escapes her. “belated but still, happy birthday, nevertheless.” 

her eyes drift to the candle that emerges between them; a slice of one of the most decadent cakes the boutique had to offer. “make a wish.”

[rkxuanyi]

                        〈   FEMBOT WU.XUANYI VS RKSPOOKY   〉

                              is it cold in here, or is it just you, baby ?

[ohsharethekmusic]

Visit Original Link

Song : NO THANKXXX (ft. Mino, Simon D & The Quiett)

Artist : Epik High

Album : WE’VE DONE SOMETHING WONDERFUL

[rkxuanyi]

❤ TEARS, BLOOD, XUANYI ❤

 —` getting the ball rolling and throwing down some random af / characteristically advantageous plots !!! feel free to look through them and if one suits your character, hmu ! ( also if nothing interests you i’m still down to brainstorm ~ )

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