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Rrobynne; born 1994, non-binary, Norwich, UK. Unapologetic autistic cripple punk. Hear my song demos here- hotwork.bandcamp.com.

[robinspeltawkwardly]

And I said "Let's all meet up in the year 2000; won't it be strange when we're all fully grown? Be there, 2 o'clock, by the fountain down the road”

I never knew that you'd get married, I would be living down here on my own, on that damp and lonely Thursday years ago

Oh what are you doing Sunday, baby? Would you like to come and meet me, maybe? You can even bring your baby, ooh

[kaijuno]

HR: if they work 40 hours a week u have to give them benefits

Big company: hmm okay. They shall work 39

[tsoki]

HR: if they work 8 hours u have to give them a half hour lunch and intermittent breaks 

company: 7 hours and 50 minutes, it is 

[airframeextender]

the law: if theyre employees you have to pay for benefits

company: lets staff through a temp service and wait so long to hire them in they quit out of frustration

[lolotehe]

the law: You must pay them this and no less.

company: I shall pay them that and no more.

[officialweatherwax]

The law: you have to pay your employees

Company: then we’ll replace them all with interns

[black-geek-supremacy]

The law: you gotta increase wages

Company: we’ll cut hours

[paramud]

the law: you have to give raises

company: mayhaps they would enjoy an extra five cents

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

listen idk I’m thinking about how before new moon came out it was like….every single news story was debating on whether or not they should keep taylor lautner as Jacob, because he wasn’t buff enough, and the film studio and the general public essentially pressured him into doing insane diets and workout routines just so he can keep a role he already won, just because no one would even entertain the character looking slightly different than described, and it was treated as this great thing, like damn, he really pulled it off!!! he’s hot now!!! he can keep the part!!! and that’s just so fucked up like. he was fucking 15 years old??? they spray painted abs onto Robert Pattinson in the same film. Taylor Lautner was LITERALLY A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD and practically the entire world slammed him for not having an unreal body, and then once he obtained one grown ass women were drooling over him like a piece of meat for the rest of his teenage years. what the fuck. 

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I’m still on this! Imagine you’re still going thru puberty and the world is so obsessed with your body that you become a sex symbol for MOTHERS. first all the focus on whether or not he could get the body and then constant focus on what it looks like for the next 4 or 5 years like! That’s so fucked up he didn’t NEED an 8-pack THEY SPRAY PAINTED ABS ON ROB IN THE SAME MOVIE

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

he did interviews on all his crazy work out routines and said he had to carry around beef patties and other high protein foods wherever he went so he was just eating constantly THATS NOT ALRIGHT and every single magazine article or ET news segment was covering this the whole time. Fans were vocally debating whether he deserved to keep the role that HE ALREADY EARNED. This was such a big deal. What the fuck.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

so the highest paid teenager was also the second sexist man of the year, huh

[secretly-a-cat-pls-dont-tell]

[spongehole]

*Racialized pedophilia

[redlanternavengerelf42]

I am not a Twilight fan, nor am I a fan of Taylor Lautner, but damn this is wrong to do to anyone and I will fight anyone who tries to defend doing this to a teenager.

[lookingformyanchor]

[robinspeltawkwardly]

But this guy is in over his head Doesn’t know a damn thing He’s a goddamn son of a...

I gave up a fat pay-cheque with my eyes wide open Swapped my reputation for a pain in the neck, and what?

I didn’t say he was a moron I said he was a fucking moron I didn’t say he was a moron I said he was a fucking moron

[sharpnelshell-deactivated201905]

It had almost escaped my notice that it is now May, the month that dooms to a heartbroken death 99% of characters from folk ballads. So, if you suspect you may be a character from a folk ballad, for your own safety: 

don’t fall in love, don’t go by the river, don’t go to the sea, don’t talk to sailors, don’t gamble, don’t ramble, don’t go North, don’t go North-West, don’t stand in the wind, don’t dance with anyone named Sally, Sue, Mary, Ann, or Barbara, don’t go to the pub (but if you do go to the pub at least don’t drink, and if you do drink at least pay for your own drink, and if you are absolutely broke and have to let someone else pay for your drink then at the very least do try not to forget to toast everyone you know whom you think might be there very loudly and possibly multiple times), don’t lend money, don’t borrow money, don’t wish you had more money, don’t make plans to make more money, don’t start working for a new employer, absolutely do believe anyone who says they will try to kill you, curse you, or maim you, absolutely do believe anyone who says you might die, turn down every invitation to go a-hunting, horse-riding, or a-courting, be wary of flute players you meet on your path, don’t dance with satanic men in black coats, don’t marry off your daughters to the first man who’ll have them, and don’t promise your true love any herbs you can’t readily plant and gather in your own garden. 

There. That should just about cover you for 31 days. Heed the warnings and you may have a chance to last the month. Good luck.

[ida-backwards-intherain]

It’s only 9 more days, but this is still relevant.

[themadcapmathematician]

Here’s another Hot Take™: if doctors are going to default assume anyone who brings up the subject of pain meds or expresses ongoing pain is “drug seeking” or an addict, they are already going into their diagnosis not believing their patient, and specifically not believing that their patient is either as in pain as they say or in pain at all. You can’t deny that, its a reality. This assumption already puts them in a position of seeing the patient as a liar, as antagonistic to their goals, and as someone who needs to have decisions made for them apart from what they feel is correct

[themadcapmathematician]

When you consider that doctors are willing to prescribe pain medication in abundance to people who have temporary physical issues like surgery aftercare, the dissmissive way people who self-report pain or have ongoing pain are treated becomes glaringly obvious

[eribent-deactivated20241005]

My dad is a heavily tattooed man. Like, arms, legs, fingers, neck. He’s heavily tattooed because he’s a tattoo artist.

Around late 2010 he realized something was wrong with his shoulder, or at least that’s when I remember him first making mention of it. Nothing serious, it was just sore a lot. Tattooing didn’t help it but it didn’t seem to be hurting it and he had three kids to feed and he loved making art. Fast forward to 2014-15-ish, my dad’s pain is getting to be too much. He’s taking extended days off of work, he’s spending days in bed because it’s the only thing that makes the pain lessen. He’s seen doctors, but they’re skeptical, especially up here where the opioid crisis is hitting hard. They see a man covered in tattoos with a big beard and take a wild guess what they think of him.

My dad’s pain gets so bad he has to stop tattooing all together. He had to close the business he raised from nothing because he couldn’t afford to keep his tattoo shop open anymore.

(Which is a shame all in of itself because it was genuinely the only 100% clean and safe shop WITH decent artists in the area, most others are, owned by people who stole from my dads shop, a pair of awful parents, skinheads, people who’ve attempted to murder their girlfriends twice, etc. but I digress.)

My dad goes back to school, keeps seeing doctors. They send him to physical therapy, the physical therapist actually makes it worse. They tell him to rest, put heat on it, that does nothing. They essentially do everything in their power to avoid giving him any real help to avoid prescribing him any sort of pain medication.

Fast forward 2016, my dad’s family moves downstate. They’re living in a college town with a lot better doctors than we have up here. The doctor he sees immediately send him to a chiropractor. The chiropractor tells my dad his shoulder and neck look worse than any car crash victim he’s ever treated. He had a disk in his neck that was pinching a shoulder nerve because of the way he’d been holding his tattoo gun for years and years and years. He’s had at least three epidurals and is on mild pain meds now and he’s been recovering kind of bumpy and slow, but well. All because a doctor took his pain seriously.

That said though, because of the years of mistreatment, my dad is nowhere the artist he used to be. He used to teach colored pencil drawing seminars at tattoo conventions because he was absolutely amazing at blending Prismacolor pencils in an incredibly smooth way. He cannot do that anymore. He might be healing, but he will never be able to apply that same pressure to the pencil again.

Doctors can be horribly biased people and it’s downright unethical the way they dismiss people with serious pain issues just because they think they might be looking for drugs.

[1st-1]

Timelapse of Europa & Io orbiting Jupiter, shot from Cassini during its flyby of Jupiter

[comtessedebussy]

Guys. Guys. Look at how high-definition this is. LOOK AT IT. This isn’t a movie. This isn’t CGI. This is OUR FUCKING SOLAR SYSTEM. A;LSKJFA;WFEW

[alexselbyart]

Assimilate // 2019

Part 1 of an on-going body of work

I had to redact one of my photos since tumblr staff lied about nudity being allowed in art apparently

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Read more here:

Adobe Tells Users They Can Get Sued for Using Old Versions of Photoshop

"You are no longer licensed to use the software," Adobe told them.

[awsomelink]

Friendly reminder that GIMP does pretty much everything Photoshop does, and it’s 100% free. Fuck DRM and the license culture, we have plenty of open source options available to us as a consumer.

[socialistexan]

Lightworks is a freeware video editor on par with Premiere

Blender is an excellent freeware 3D renderer,possibly better than After Effects

Lightzone to replace Lightroom

Inkscape to replace Illustratr

Audacity to replace Audition (I also received a free version of Pro Tools with my Scarlett Solo audio interface)

If Adobe is going to be greedy shitheads, then fuck ‘em. Don’t use their stuff. Freeware can be just as good, if not better, than Adobe CC.

[lesbianshepard]

i’m in tears over this holy shit

[lesbianshepard]

It’s a little known fact that in the 60s and 70s the CIA was actually run by fucking wile e coyote

[robinspeltawkwardly]

A Heart~Shaped Sea

Third draft, 29/04/19

One of our mornings at the Costa on Prince of Wales Road, I noticed that Nikky seemed unusually pensive, mournful even. I could tell something was wrong from the absence of the familiar aura of nicotine/patchouli/nag champa that usually accompanied their presence.

“It’s a high-pressure day today, Nikky, what’s eating you?” Their gaze remained fixated askew at the window, their duplicated eyes set faintly against the Mayan blue backdrop of the sky like the cover of something out of a 1990s Japanese electronica artist’s catalogue. Nikky let out a weary pant of a sigh.

“It’s about a dream I had last night.” I stirred the dregs of my not-quite-frappe in hesitant curiosity. “I met this man, and he was in a time machine, right? Like the one in the Spongebob episode where Squidward ends up in that white void and it all goes ketty as fuck.” “Sounds like a normal Saturday night to me.” Nikky smiled but I could tell that whatever weight they were carrying required a more serious attitude than that I had offered previously. “Go on?”

“It started off with the article about the Radium Girls you linked me, where they all got cancer and died and that one woman was fighting for workers’ rights on her deathbed, like, actually testifying from the spot where she knew she was going to die very soon. All that fucking cruelty and injustice.” I kept studiously silent. “I don’t remember how we got into this situation but me and this old man, he looked a bit like my Grand-dad, he was tall and morose like Harry Dean Stanton, we were stood in this time machine and I was sort of like his apprentice. And he asked me if I wanted to see what he did with this time machine he’d built in his back garden, and he’d beein using it every day for the past twenty years, and I said sure, why not? If you’ve used it already and come back okay each time then it’s not like it’s going to fuck me up like The Fly or whatever. So he pulls the lever and we get out, and there she is, that woman from the Radium Girls story, and all the lawyers were crowded around her bed.”

“This would be… Catherine Donohue, wouldn’t it?” (I brought up the tab on my phone to check- I’d only sent Nikky the article a couple of nights before so I was able to feign that I actually remembered her name off by heart. Nikky was looking away from me again).

“Yeah, she was lying there with all these men scratching their pens across their clipboards, looming at her. And me and this man, I don’t think he had a name, we were standing next to each other in the room and he spoke quite loudly but very calmly and he said ‘Catherine, can you hear me?’”

“Could the others hear you?” “It was a dream so it was kind of all fucked up, I think one guy was like ‘Look, buddy, we’re trying to work here’ or something but mostly everyone was just busy engrossed in taking notes, I don’t know what they were writing. I saw the nurses trying to attend to her too but their hands were all a blur, I don’t know what they’d do in real life so I don’t think my brain knew how to picture it.

Catherine could barely lift her arm to push her glasses further onto her face to see us properly but she managed, and she squinted at us like she didn’t know who we were, because of course she didn’t. And she was like ‘Yes?’ I think she thought we were from the papers. I was a child in this dream, like, maybe early teens or something.” “So more of a Doctor Who sort of a deal than a Back To The Future set-up.”

“Exactly. I felt like this man, whoever he was, was trying to teach me a serious lesson rather than go on an adventure or something. I stood back while he approached the bed the woman was lying on and crouched down beside her so he could speak as softly as he could and he said ‘I hope you realise, what you do here, it’s going to be a landmark case for workers’ rights for the rest of American history.’ And she was trembling, it seemed like she was struggling for breath as well as to keep her composure but he continued, ‘I come from a different time to you. Just look at how I’m dressed if you don’t believe me. This case is going to go through and you are going to make history. Your life serves the purpose of saving hundreds of women like yourself further down the line because you didn’t give up in the face of the most horrible, horrible thing anyone could have to go through alone. And I just want to congratulate you for what you’ve done, for all those people. Even if you don’t get to see it, you deserve to know it. It does go through.” Now she was trembling because she was trying not to cry, she was so happy and yet so sad and in so much pain. I had to look away, nearly woke up then.”

“Yeah, it set a massive legal precedent. The number of workplace deaths in the USA went down from over 14,000 a year before that stuff to under 5,000 a year now.” I still do remember the figures, roughly, from the article we were discussing.. “I still get intrusive thoughts of those images of the tumours and abscesses they had from putting the tips of the paintbrushes in their mouths.”

“I didn’t even fucking dare look at the pictures in the thing you sent me, she just looked really sickly and frail to me. The way the guy I was with spoke”, Nikky continued, “I knew intuitively he had done this sort of thing before. When we got back in the time machine, I asked where we were going next, and he said he was going to the cave in Thailand where those boys were trapped to see the diver who was killed trying to save them.”

“I’m sensing a theme here. Did he go and ask Elon Musk not to call one of the men organising the rescue operation a pedo on Twitter for no fucking rational reason?” “Please stop interrupting me. I know it sounds stupid but it really moved me at the time. It felt formative.”

“I’m sorry.”

“We entered into this make-shift outdoors camp, ankle-deep in mud. It was like walking through caramel. Pouring with rain. And this man, dressed in his scratchy light-brown business suit, strides right over through the mud in his smart office shoes to where the divers are lined up and being given their instructions and waits for a natural pause before asking, ‘Which one of you is so-and-so?’ I don’t know what his name was but you know, dream weirdness. He catches the man’s attention before they’re about to go in.”

“His name was Saman Gunan.” (I don’t think I actually said this at the time, but I did think, shit, major white privilege moment if I can’t remember that guy’s name but I do remember the white woman from the Radium Girls case, so, artistic licence.)

“He said- and somehow this diver man understood English, I don’t know- ‘You know you’re risking your life going in there, right?’ And the diver answered ‘I know, but I’ve got plenty of experience, it should go fine.’ And he turned to leave but the man put his hand on the diver’s shoulder quite forcefully and said ‘Listen. These boys will get out of here. Take it from me. Every single last one of them. And they will remember your name for the rest of their lives. Whatever happens, you will have done a great thing when this is over.’ And the guy gave him a big grin and showed him his hand like he was saying ‘cheers’ as he walked off with the rest of his team through the mud and just as quickly he was obscured by journalists and experts rushing backwards and forwards between the marquees, and the time traveller came back to me through the mud.

We left back into the time machine and before he pulled the lever again I asked the man why he was doing this. He was very blunt with me and I felt quite frightened to start with. ‘I don’t believe in an afterlife. A lot of these people are facing agony and cruelty beyond what you can possibly imagine until it actually happens to you, at least that’s what I think. And I at least want them to know that their lives were not in vain. All of history’s injustices. Joan of Arc, that girl who was executed by the Nazis for organising a student movement against them, every single one. I’ve been to America during the Vietnam war, and I’ve been to Vietnam during the Vietnam War. From Bobby Kennedy to the lowest heroin junkie who doesn’t even read the papers, I just wanted everyone, anyone, to know in their darkest hour that their life had meaning, however cold and dark the place they end up is in those final moments.”

I hardly needed to comment to Nikky on the fact that we had probably both spent plenty of terrified hours contemplating what the last flash of light hitting our eyes would actually feel like when either of us went. Reading reports on scientists having discovered that the brain maintains some residual activity for minutes or maybe half an hour or more after measurable activity has ceased has left me much more scared again of death in recent years than the previous belief I’d held and hoped for in adulthood that death would just be like a light being switched off, irrespective of pain/fear/discomfort felt immediately beforehand. These scientific articles I had purposefully held back from Nikky knowing their sensitive nature, and I still wonder whether or not that was the right thing to do. The dregs at the bottom of my not-quite-frappe had sufficiently liquified enough now for me to suck them up with the straw and, as expected, tasted of fuck all.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Nikky, it sounds really dark. That was just a dream, though, you know that right? So hold on to that at least if it’s worrying you.” “Oh I wasn’t really upset by it at the time, you know I’m a goth at heart. Morbidity intrigues me.” Their face brightened. “It was more of a learning experience.”

“In what way?” “Well, I asked this man, who seemed very sure of himself, if exposing himself to so much misery and desperation in human experience had messed him up over time if he’d been doing it for so long. And he said it had done, dreadfully, so I asked why does he still keep doing it? Is he guilty about something he’s done? Is it punishment? And he said ‘Well, it’s a desire to right all the world’s wrongs, I guess. I want to fix history.’ And I called bullshit on that being his reason. Because Richard Dawkins said there’s no such thing as true altruism, right?” “Dawkins isn’t someone I’d care to invoke, but go on.”

“Well, this man replied, ‘I guess it’s not entirely selfless, because really, what I’m doing is what I wish someone would do for me. I have no family left living, and I’m scared that when I’m dying and I’m in pain on my own and there’s nothing any doctor or stranger by my bedside can do to comfort me, that I’ll just be waiting there for minutes, possibly hours, for the final moment to come, and when it does, my final thought will be some kind of regret or guilt or something stupid I did as a kid and I’ll die in terror. So I want to give people something to hold on to as they go, to say, ‘Hey, I actually did a good job at this and now it’s my time to go and it’s fine.’ But I can’t take it from myself, it has to be someone else, and as I’m the only one who can use this time machine thing, I guess I’m fucked.’ Or, he said something like that but the details are foggy. I was nearly awake by this point.” Nikky slid a purple lighter onto the table between us and began foraging through their handbag.

“Was that the end of the dream, then?” I asked. “No, but almost. There was one more bit after I remember. I said, ‘If you know that that’s probably going to be the case for you anyway, why do you go to all this effort? I can understand you not just being an arsehole and sitting back and doing nothing, but why be so exhaustive about it? You’ll never make yourself happy being a perfectionist.’ Because I got the impression he was going around visiting literally ever living sentient being in the universe, whispering them sweet nothings when it was their time to die, every single one of them like that was going to take up the rest of his life when he could have been mixing that in with other things to try and make himself happy.”

“What did he say?” “I mean, it was a dream, so words sounded like Ben chatting shit at 3 AM at the King’s Head after three lines of coke, but I think he said something along the lines of ‘All actions are an approximation of an ideal.’” Nikky produced a tobacco pouch from their handbag.

“Sounds like Plato’s Theory of Forms to me.” I suggested. “I don’t know what that is. Can we leave? I really need to go for a cigarette.”

Late that night I realised I’d left my favourite H&M jacket at that café. I never got it back. The fragments of that day do stick in my memory, but I’m still not sure exactly which month it took place.

[robinspeltawkwardly]

Does it feel that your life's become a catastrophe? Oh, it has to be for you to grow, boy

When you look through the years and see what you could have been Oh, what you might have been, If you'd had more time

So, when the day comes to settle down, who's to blame if you're not around? You took the long way home You took the long way home

[robinspeltawkwardly]

Recent.

[robinspeltawkwardly]

Phew... finally brought my Fetlife profile @Rrobynne up to date and whittled down my absurdly long and repetitive interests lists... haven’t had an accurate profile pic for like two years or something

[robinspeltawkwardly]

bdsmblr doesn’t allow webm uploads, that sucks

or moreso yahoo sucks for killing off one of the biggest queer + bdsm/kink communities on the web

[robinspeltawkwardly]

Against the sun I've tried on and on and on

Like a fool to keep my eyes for only you

And I've been told by the wisest men of all

That as long as there is morning light I'll have the hardest time And if I could change the day to night there’d be no me at all

[robinspeltawkwardly]

bi culture is clicking on a porn video because the woman in it looks hot but then finding the guy even hotter and getting off to that instead