More Chrom merchandise pls @robintherednosedtactician - Tumblr Blog

Vampires today aren’t as bloodthirsty as they were centuries ago because the average modern human provides more nourishment than 5 sickly Victorian chimney sweepers combined. Woman who eats 3 square meals a day with dessert: are you okay? The vampire who bit her:

snapscube

Why do we as a society keep coming back to sex jokes?

Penis blast hilarious

frambicallyscrantling

penis blast nefarious

gh0stquartz

diverse types of penis blast call the penis blast various

hotvampireadjacent

A twitch streamer calling for his “mods” is exactly the same as a king asking for his knights to execute someone

puppycharmz

hey guys today I'm trying out this new flavor of chip let's see wha the h sjnwwbrbhfhhs a w wmkkothhrhhrhgvvt Tummy Hurt

420bootywizard69

This is literally the most bomb-ass D&D story I’ve ever read in my life oh my god.

ninastestanin

Holy shit ._.

rebelsofshield

Some RP sessions have better stories than actual fiction. I mean, goddamn.

soaringsparrows

For those having trouble reading the text:

We had a campaign in D&D where we assembled a steampunk-ish time machine. After many sessions travelling through time, uncovering mysteries and learning harsh lessons about changing history, we had to stop a time-travelling cult from destroying the gods, and therefore the world. We failed.

Our machine crashed, we were stranded earlier than we had ever been able to travel. We found the Gods, but only a few of them were present - it was as if some had never existed. Then we realised - we had to become those Gods. Our party was entirely divine (Cleric, Paladin, Avenger, Invoker), and each of us was a worshipper of a god who had been unmade - and we were the only people in existence with enough knowledge of the forgotten deities to assume their roles.

But two of the players were worshippers of Io (in his twin forms of Tiamat and Bahamut, who would of course form later after Io’s ‘death’), and only one could become Io. The other would have to be the un-created Asmodeus.

So the most just, honourable and dedicated Lawful Good paladin I’ve ever seen roleplayed became the god of tyranny and evil. If he hadn’t, the gods would never have defeated the primordials, and the world would never have been completed.

In our setting, Asmodeus is every bit the epitome of evil you would expect him to be. Nobody but the gods who abide his presence know him as otherwise. He adheres to his role because he knows he has to - and that in doing so, the world can exist. He can never tell anyone his duty, and no-one who knows can ever discuss it.

In the farthest recesses of the Nine Hells, in a chamber sealed tighter than any other in existence is a pocketwatch of finest gnome craft with a photo of his family in it - his wife, son, and little baby girl.

They were killed by an orc army marching under the orders and banner of Asmodeus. Their deaths are what drove him to become an adventurer.