not an apology but read this actually.
over the last day and a half i received well over 200 anon messages most of which were rape threats, suicide baiting, self harm baiting, doxxing threats, and people saying things to purposefully trigger my compulsions (which are painful, self harm inflicting ones, namely skin picking). ive also been misgendered at least thrice, and called racial slurs. people also made fun of and belittled my religion, and tried to make fun of my mental illness by trying to imply i only have "non serious" diagnoses like depression and anxiety (which is not true). as someone who is multiply traumatized and multiply mentally ill i shouldnt have to say how bad a toll this had on me.
normally i am desensitized to online drama and i had somewhere close to 3 accounts terminated because i purposefully engaged in really shitty drama and cyberbullying and of course got a lot of shit for it. id put it down to borderline personality but honestly like. a disordered personality is still my personality so its as much my fault as anything. thats besides the point though.
this one was particularly hurtful because it took me by surprise. i got a horrible wave of triggering messages over what was literally a joke and it took me by complete surprise. almost every single person who messaged me took that post as a serious discourse stance which is COMPLETELY fucking INCOMPREHENSIBLE to me given ive been very openly anti truscum (to the point of sending the same kind of messages i received to the truscum), and any time ive engaged in discourse my stance has always been that the only way to be trans is to identify as trans. people kept messaging trying to get me to "admit i meant it seriously" which i didnt and if you think that you should log of for a second because irl an overexaggerated general statement like that will be almost unanimously read as a joke.
i shouldnt expect reading comprehension from tumblr but heres whats true: no i didnt mean the post sarcastically. sarcasm is saying one thing and meaning another. i didnt mean it as satire because satire almost always requires some element of parody. yes i meant it as a joke/half joke and yes i was venting. i dont think these people are LITERALLY cis, i dont think they should LITERALLY be kicked out of the trans community (especially because its literally impossible to kick anyone out?????). i do think most of them have nothing in common with me and interacting with them feels exactly like interacting with cis people to me NO MATTER how much transphobia from other sources they endured because my personal experience with being trans focused entirely around the struggle with medical gatekeeping, parental acceptance, and lack of transition.
yes i realize i hurt people but i still dont care. not because i have low empathy but because you should be able to get over somebodys mean joke on the internet. i will not apologize because im not sorry. if you think the post was a sincere discourse stance SOMEHOW idk how you survived this long taking every single thing literally as you could as well be amelia bedelia at this point l m f a o. if you knew it was a mean joke but got sooo hurt anyway then boo hoo grow thicker skin. like i said this isnt an apology you all can rot. i didnt deserve this much backlash for a joke venting at people who had it better than me. your lack of tone comprehension skills is your problem.
if you cant tell jokes from literal statements then get all the facts before you tell a teenage csa and rape survivor that youre gonna doxx them and send videos of them being raped to all your friends lmfao.
im not tagging this for any triggers because it wasnt fucking tagged for me when literal hundreds of purposefully triggering messages were sent to me.
i had some whore namely @dmonslayr message me telling me that basically i deserved all of it except the rape threats
nd i just wanna say its nice youre admiting you think misgendering trans people is ok and calling mixed/asian ppl racial slurs is okay as long as its "deserved" like its good u admit that. anyway this just makes me less sorry than i was before because apparently all of you were fucking awful people in the first place.
The point you fucking missed is that shit isn’t funny and you don’t make fucking jokes like that at others’ expenses. Hope this shit keeps you awake for a weeks.
