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@whatwhy551
Hmmmm i have happy and mad feel about the movie. Just. Ugh. Imma need all the fix it fic.
But seriously wtf you doing to poe. Fucking spice runner just keep piling on the tropes.
Ok im outie for now
(Omg my url really fits now for my feels when i do pop up again. What. Why.)
disney really spent an entire film forcing heterosexuality on its lead characters just so they could no homoâąïž finn and poe but then had the audacity to think theyâd be hailed as gay allies just bc they showed two female extras kissing in the background of a shot that lasted maybe 5 seconds LMAO
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse + Parallels
[3/3]
God this movie is amazing
Listen I have zero headcanons or plot for a Leverage OT3 highschool AU, I just have a burning desire for Eliot driving around his boyfriend and girlfriend in a beat up old car and Nana being awesome and Parker being Mysterious and also maybe like milkshakes??? Flannel and sneakers??? Cute teen dates??? Someone please save me.
-Eliot charming the shit out of Nana with his âmaâamâ and appreciation for Good Food.
-Parker not officially going to school, she just picks a class or two she wants to follow because Archie said she should learn to blend in with kids her age. She steals the teacherâs roll-call list and adds herself to it.Â
-Eliot 100% the quarterback. He is also Very Popular with The Ladies and some of the other players are like: HOW DO YOU GET SO MUCH ASS ELIOT and he is like: TRY TREATING WOMEN LIKE PEOPLE JACKASS. (He doesnât even get around half as much as people think, because he is Respectful and even when he does have sex he never tells.)
-Hardison takes ALL the computer classes. He finished all his assignments on the first day and spends the rest of his time hacking and programming and messing with the schoolâs system so bullies actually get in trouble and kids who have accessibility needs are suddenly getting the funds and help they need.Â
-Parker tried out for cheerleader and it went about as well as you can imagine.
-Lots of very cute late night dates at all-night diners with milkshakes and Eliot arguing with the fry cook and Hardison charming the waitress but only because he wants to distract her from Parker sneaking behind the counter to top up their milkshake.
-Hardison being very understanding Eliot doesnât want to introduce him to his dad like: is it the boy thing, the black thing, or⊠And Eliot is like: no no no itâs the my dad is an asshole thing and I donât want to subject either of you to him but I want you to meet my little brother his name is Jake heâs really smart youâll like him.
-All three of them have tried the yawn-and-arm-around-the-shoulders move and only one of them was succesful. (Eliot. And only half the time, one time he nearly poked Hardisonâs eye out.)
-Parker stealing her boyâs clothes and accidentally becoming the centre of attention because wearing the quarterbackâs letterman jacket Means Something so she makes Hardison switch with her and that just causes more gossip and meanwhile Eliot is bitching at them like DID NOBODY THINK THAT MAYBE IâM COLD WITHOUT MY JACKET DO YOU SEE HOW MANY LAYERS I WEAR ITâS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT DAMMIT HARDISON GIVE IT BACK.
-Nana has totally taken Parker aside and told her if she needs anything, she can always come to her. Parker fled because of Emotions but also has totes dropped by the house while Hardison was out to 1) get advice from an adult who was not Archie and 2) eat all the homemade cookies.
-Eliot takes the other two camping. It goes about as well as you can imagine.
-Hardison and Eliot seeing Archie with Parker when theyâre arguing about a job. Hardison very carefully tries to question her about who Archie is (ânah, Archie isnât my dad, he has a Real Familyâ), if heâs bad-touching her, and Parker being â???â until Eliot is like: IS HE HURTING YOU BECAUSE I WILL PUNCH HIM and Parker being like: oh lol no, Archie knows I would stab him if he tried to touch me. =D He gave me a knife!Â
-Theyâre still not entirely sure about who Archie is so they track him down and threaten him just in case. Archie makes up some kind of story about being a mentor and being all: Iâm glad Parker made friends who will threaten adults for her.
-Who gave Parker a skateboard who thought that was a good idea she is riding it along the edge of a 10 story building.Â
-Laser tag death match, winner gets to pick the movie/food/sit in the middle of the snugglepile.
-Weirdly invested and inappropriate-life-advice-giving guidance counsellor Sophie Devereaux who may or may not be a con-woman laying low for a few years.
-Econ teacher Nate who will explain the economy and the market and also how marketing schemes and con-men work and if you ask the right questions at the right time and distract him BOOM your lesson is now a history of epic heists class.
-When Hardison finds out Parker is not officially enrolled, he Fixes That in the system, making sure to forge her some nice grades for the classes she doesnât take (nice, but nothing that will make her stand out.)Â He tries not to pry, because Parker tends to disappear when you pry too much, but he makes sure that whoever she lives with, theyâre not hurting her. He thinks maybe she just has shitty foster parents, or some kind of Weird Religious Ones who want to homeschool her? She knows a lot about art and geography, okay, and she does fine with math, so clearly sheâs got schooling.
-Eliot is the one who learns she lives in a Creepy Warehouse. She makes him promise not to tell Hardison, because he will make Sad Eyes and possibly get Nana involved. Eliot is like: YOU OWN A WAREHOUSE? HOW? WITH WHAT MONEY. No no donât tell me I donât want to know. He makes sure sheâs safe and comfortable and goes home to punch his punching bad in the basement because DAMMIT HE PROMISED NOT TO TELL HARDISON but maybe Nana should be involved because that canât be healthy.
-Various teachers spend a year trying to get Parker to go to the guidance counsellor. She needs some kind of help, they agree.Â
-Parker only actually goes when Eliot and Hardison ask her to the winter formal, and sheâs like: YOU GIVE PEOPLE ADVICE RIGHT HELP ME I WANT TO LOOK NICE FOR THE DANCE. And Sophie is all: um thatâs not the kind of advice they mean but also I am not going to turn down giving fashion advice come in what can I do for you.
-And Parker tried to ask Nana, and Nana is sweet and kind and told her feel-good stuff like âwear something that makes you feel prettyâ and âyou will look great no matter what you wear, dear, donât let yourself get caught up thinking you need some expensive dressâ.
-But that doesnât help, she doesnât know what to wear, what makes her feel pretty is her jeans and the shirt she stole from Hardison and Eliotâs second-favourite flannel because they preen when she wears them. But those arenât Dance Clothes and she wants to look nice but also not stand out and also not wear uncomfortable shoes.
-So she sits down with Sophie and explains all that and then is like: so I need something to wear with THIS.Â
-And she pulls out this necklace. And Sophie is like: Is That The Bismarck Sapphire??? And Parker is like: Eliot says blue brings out my eyes.
-And Sophie, momentarily forgetting she is a Guidance Counsellor, asks her like: HOW DID YOU GET PAST X SECURITY MEASURE AT THE SMITHSONIAN and then Parker looks at her and Knows. Sophie is like her.
-And then they spend like, 25 minutes gossiping about Stealing Shit before Sophie pulls up some websites and shows her some lovely dresses that would look nice with her necklace.Â
-And from then on, Parker goes to visit Sophie regularly, usually with some cool anecdote about a thing she stole like itâs show and tell, until Sophie gently tells her sheâs welcome even without that, she doesnât have to âpayâ for advice, and she helps Parker with stuff like How Do I People and also How Do I Pass This Exam When Iâm Stealing A Thing Downtown The Night Before.
If someone writes this I will read it hundreds of times
UM SAME.Â
(Sophie is also the drama teacher)
(the entire school know that Mr Ford the Economics teacher and Ms Devereaux the Drama teacher/guidance counsellor have ~a thing~ for each other. Nate and Sophie are completely oblivious to this.)
(there may or may not be a betting pool on when they finally get together)
(Hardison may or may not be running said betting pool)
âParker tried out for cheerleader and it went about as well as you can imagine.â Ok but Iâm imagining:
-that the cheerleading team finally gets to regionals because Parker has tricks their coach hasnât even /heard of/Â
-Parker gets a rotating cast of lookouts for local heists and general Elliot/Hardison-related Lawbreaking For Justice (or for practice, whatever)
-Elliot & Hardison are v. briefly skeptical of these lookouts but Parker insists and it works out because
-those girls? the cheerleading-is-a-sport-dammit-girls?Â
-are physically fucking fearless
-can keep a secret like itâs unbreakable code inside an encrypted file inside a vault tougher than any Parkerâs ever cracked, and
- ask zero questions, at least once they trust her enough to get thrown through the air and land at the top of the pyramid in her deceptively skinny arms.*
So actually, Parker cheerleading goes pretty well! Until the star quarterback takes a dirty hit at the Homecoming game and is motionless on the field for long, dangerous seconds. But Elliot was fine, if the worldâs grumpiest patient, and once Hardison was done with the records,
-the only answer for âwhat really happened that night the cheer squad attacked?â
- âNothing you can actually prove.âÂ
*Iâm just saying, there were a few Sudden Realizations on the cheerleading team that year, more than Parker will probably ever know.
- Eliot helps his mom with a lot of stuff around the house, including cooking, which is the reason he takes Home Ec in the first place (the hot teacher is a bonus)
- Parker takes Econ, Physics, and a Drawing class, but continues to hang around the school the rest of the day to observe and learn how Normal People act
- Hardison is part of the tech crew for the schools musicals/plays. Heâs in charge of sound/mics for all the actors
- Eventually Eliot and Parker both join tech as well (at least when it isnât football season). Parker works on lights because she loves the catwalk, and ends up spending most of the time there and not really helping. Eliot is part of the actual set building crew.
- Nate is the only teacher that calls Hardison by his first name because thatâs what teacher are Supposed To Do
- In retaliation, Hardison refuses to call Nate Mr. Ford or anything like that and only refers to him as Nate (because heâs petty)
- Eliot and Parker both join Hardison in calling Nate by his first name
- It becomes a battle of wills, the three of them vs Nate and at this point the whole school is invested
- Finally Nate gives in and stops calling Hardison Alec, but by that point the three of them have gotten used to calling him Nate and continue to do so anyways (much to his dismay)
Todayâs letter is F.
And thatâs a
FUCKING
EXCELLENT
IDEA!!!
Iâve had this on repeat for the last couple of minutes switching my hearing to hear either âthatâs a fucking excellent ideaâ and âthat sounds like an excellent ideaâ (which is what heâs actually saying) and itâs really tripping me out
Auditory Processing Problems
âą *someone says something* âwhat?â *repeats themselves* âsorry?â *repeats themselves again* âpardon?â
âą"hey, y'see the red thing at the top of the shelf, will you get it?â âSorry, what?â âOn the sh-â âoh yeah sure, Iâll get it.â
âą*doesnât hear teacher because someoneâs pen is making a scratchy sound at the back of the room*
âą*replays video 10 ten times to figure out what theyâre saying*
âąteachers asking, âwhy do you always stop writing in the middle of a sentence, just write down whatever Iâm saying,â followed by the response, âIâm just processing it,â rebuked by, âweâll stop processing it and just write.â
âą*gets really focused on staring out the window and goes through four songs without hearing a single on*
someone is whispering to their friends in the library, you donât even know who this person is but you know their major, what state they grew up in, and their hobbies during high school. you just wanted to find a quiet spot to do your chemistry homework.
wanting to chime in on other peopleâs conversations all the time, but donât, because youâre not suppose to be âlisteningâ to them.
being the only person in the house that can hear that awful buzzing sound certain electronics make
hiding in your room because everything is too loud.Â
motorcycles were invented by satan
being told that you have dog-like hearing by friends and family
being yelled at for ânot listeningâ by friends and family.Â
God. God. God. God.
This entire post is so fucking relatable it hurts
âYou just need to learn to tune it out.â
Forgetting how to think because ambient noise is drowning out your internal monologue.Â
âNo, I donât need the volume up, Iâd just really like to put on subtitles. No, I donât need to move closer, I justâŠâ
Leaving the room whenever someone starts talking on the phone.Â
Pausing your video whenever someone starts talking but trying really really hard not to seem passive aggressive about it.Â
Struggling to explain why this one sound is the most horrible thing in the world while other very similar sounds are fine.Â
youâre trying to listen to what some very important person is trying to say, but you can only focus on the conversations of the ppl around you
sitting in a restaurant and thinking the people sitting next to you are being SO loud because you can hear everything theyâre saying, but when you mention it you get weird looks so obviously youâre just overreacting.
not being able to handle the little keyboard sounds as your mom types a text from across the room, but when you ask your mom (who is a quadruple texter) to put her phone on silent you get a murderous look, like youâve asked her to kill her cat.
turning on ambient noises and trying to relax, only to end up turning it off because itâs not actually helping you fall asleep.
âthe speakers are making this high pitched noiseâ
âwhat the hell are you talking about?â
âTHE SPEAKERS ARE PRACTICALLY SCREAMING HOW DO YOU NOT HEAR THAT??â
âJust ignore it, and focus on the show.â
people telling me âhow the fuck can you hear the wall clock ticking but not understand a word im saying when im talking to you??â (i swear iâm not ignoring you, i just canât process your words)
and the absolute kicker: it took me nearly three decades of life to realise that all of the above meant I had an auditory processing disorder because, quite frankly, it isnât discussed enough. and by enough, i mean at all.
I⊠experienced way too many of these not to be stunned right now.
IâŠam I?âŠIâd answer allot of questionsâŠ.shit
a few things i do that help me! may or may not be practical for you, but canât hurt to share
carry earplugs everywhere. i got a bottle of like 40 pairs on amazon for $6. i have a pair in my wallet, my bags, my pocket, etc
they come in different degrees of softnessâsofter ones let you dull sharp sounds while also letting you listen to lectures/carry on conversations.Â
heavy pairs ones can block out most sounds when you really need silence
donât underestimate the usefulness of wearing just one. sometimes iâll wear only one earplug when iâm sleeping and worried about missing my alarm
spend time alone in silence when you can get it. iâve noticed my ability to function in public goes hand in hand with being able to have regular ârecoveryâ time.Â
find a handful of songs you can listen to on repeat without really noticing.Â
asmr videos as ambient noise. find what works for you. i like crinkling.
honestly, choosing the right background noise is so useful
along that note, cheap wireless earbuds are easy to hide in your hair/under a hoodie/scarf. iâve worn them in class.Â
iâm on medication for my sensory issues. certain medications commonly used to treat anxiety can also help w/ sensory processing issues! if you can, talk to your doctor.
i donât hear people talking about this much, which surprises me. my medication is used âas neededâ and has saved me several times from public shutdowns/meltdowns. equally importantly, itâs improved my ability to function day-to-day
unrelated but hilarious: i just got a new thing of earplugs and theyâre literally âsealed for freshnessâ
add your own!
Oh gods, anyone else remember the sound of an old CRT TV on mute? Iâm the only one in my family who could hear it.
And yeah, auditory processing disorders are really common with ADHD, so thatâs probably where a lot of my idiosyncrasies come from.
Yeah âhet ships are boringâ but letâs not shit on het ships w/ trans people, black women, fat people, disabled women, and other groups that have been treated as âunloveableâ by culture at large in preference for a ship between two white pretty boys.
The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and itâs honestly a waste that my entire life isnât constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS
1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.
2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didnât talk about it again.
3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized âwait itâs dark as fuckâ so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.
4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girlâs underwear a day later and I never saw him again
5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driverâs side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out
6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me heâd locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him âyou know that sounds super suspicious rightâ and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead
7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didnât follow me onboard
8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.
9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me âpiñataâ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals
10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks
11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped
12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home
13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play âbloody maryâ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said âno thanksâ and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.
14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of⊠locked up forever and never go near
15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360Âș spin with nobody touching it, so I said âthat was neatâ and never ate there again
16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing Iâd ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didnât even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds
Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking
I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say âno thanksâ to everything else
Friend: how do you say i love you in german
Me: ich liebe dich
Friend: i also love dick
das ist so traurig alexa spiel 99 luftballons
I know 3 words in German and I know EXACTLY what that fucking sentence says.
DGRFEVFBVFVFBVGFB G
i think someone i follow just turned into a bot???????? like since last night all theyâve posted are reblogs of fishy linked posts titled âHot Girl Onlineâ originating from the same deactivated blog and reblogged via another obvious bot blog. iâm losing my mind. they were a real person a day or two ago. what happened
Iâve been seeing this a lot, like a post thatâs clearly a bot post shows up in my recommended posts and I go to the blog to report/block in and the first couple of posts are the spammy bullshitâŠand then the rest isâŠpretty much what you would expect from a typical Tumblr blogâŠ
yeah someone else reblogged this and said in the tags theyâd noticed bot posts on their dash too⊠so itâs obviously a thing. i already knew bots regularly seize deactivated urls for use, but these blogs donât appear to have been deactivated before being seized, which is somewhat concerning. part of me wonders if the massive droves of people leaving for other social media in wake of the 17th have just left unprecedented numbers of urls open for swiping, or if something more sinister is happening here. it seems possible that theyâre actually taking over active and/or archived accounts, but itâs unclear how theyâd go about that, so iâm not jumping to any conclusions yet.
definitely unsettling though. i hope this mystery gets solved soon. iâll be keeping a much closer eye on my archived blogs in the meantime
okay so it seems the most likely culprit has been found (thanks to other users more bot savvy than i)
basically itâs what happens when people end up giving permissions to fishy linked accounts and services like â2mblrâ promising to back up their blog or give them unfollow notifications or whatever, which inadvertently gives the service permission to make posts and hijack the userâs account for bot shit. if this happens to you, itâs actually a relatively easy fix as long as you still have access to your account
essentially you just need to remove the linked service and you should have full control of your blog again. to be super safe you could also change your password after regaining control of the account, but i donât think that should be necessary.
anyway, if you (like me) donât have any linked 3rd party accounts, you shouldnât have anything to worry about at the moment. if anyone you follow starts posting bot shit, try to contact them to let them know whatâs happening and how to fix it. always be wary of giving your info to any 3rd party services!
remember in goblet of fire when minerva says âpotterâs a boy, not a piece of meat!â
imagine harry telling her everything after the battle of hogwarts, telling her about how dumbledore raised him like a pig for slaughter, and how he had to die and mcgonagall gets so goddamned mad
she loses control for the first time that harryâs EVER seen and sheâs actually yelling, sheâs so pissed that harry was seventeen and he had to accept death and dumbledore KNEW he would have to die and NEVER TOLD HIM
and harryâs about to cry because yeah his friends would be devastated if he was gone but NO ONE got this damn pissed that dumbledore had raised him so that he could die at the right time and mcgonagallâs in the middle of a rant and he just shoots up and hugs her and sheâs stunned into silence but after a moment she hugs back and itâs great
and then she goes up to her office and starts screaming at dumbledoreâs portrait because âi donât care if it had to happen, albus, he is a CHILD-â
This is the Minerva McGonagall content we deserve, and make no mistake, we were robbed
steve rogers on his 5th bowl @ 3:54 am on the balcony of avengers tower: guys did u k. did u kno they called her Peggy bec
natasha: what
steve: B. đđđBEcause She
tony with the straightest face: because she what steve
steve:
tony: why did they call her peggy steve
hi, if you wear glasses, this is your daily reminder to take them off and make sure theyâre clean!
#they are never clean #they will never be clean #they will be dirty within a nanosecond of being washed #the water itself will make them dirty #no cloth is pristine enough  (pocketsfullofpixies)
this is old joke but
âso I sampled colors from a burning buildingâ. This is hilarious to me.
