Welcome to the Goblin Market

my name is [ian] and i really need a nap - they/them - 20s - graphic design is my passion and its driving me nuts that i cant put a manual line break here - happy halloween

[synthfagz]

"if yr stabbed dont take the knife out" okay so thats basiclaly cockwarming

[bilesandthesourwolf]

i can never leave this place

[themuppetmasterencyclopedia]

Miss Piggy's Guide to Life Photos

[yellbug]

addicted to sending this clip from twilight to my friends whenever they are in a situation where i think they should lie

[villains-are-my-heroes]

I feel like this is what Robert Pattinson sees in his peripheral vision whenever he's doing an interview.

[general-sleepy]

[Video Description: A clip from Twilight: New Moon. Bella looks tensely at Laurent. A ghostly apparition of Edward appears between them and grimly says to Bella, "Lie." She looks mildly startled, shuts her eyes, then looks mildly confused and says, "Yeah, absolutely. All the time." Immediately, Edward's ghost says emphatically, "Lie better." End Description]

[pusong-mangga]

@funnier-as-a-system

[ms-demeanor]

Someday I'm going to make the world's meanest video essay and it will be about seed oils.

[ms-demeanor]

Being a huge fucking bitch isn't a terribly effective way of doing science communication so maybe I'll make the very mean video and my Worksona, Allison, will explain why it's fine to use grapeseed oil in a calm, patient, reassuring tone.

[ms-demeanor]

"People are lying to you on the internet and they're not even bothering to lie well. I'm going to need you to exercise some discernment on your Facebook feed before measles kills a few thousand people this year."

"Seed oils, like most fats, are perfectly fine to consume in moderation and are certainly safer to consume regularly than saturated fats are. If you're concerned about your health, please speak to your doctor, but as long as you are eating a varied diet with lots of fruits and veggies, you are eating enough food to maintain energy, and you get some exercise, you're doing pretty well!"

[headspace-hotel]

Asunder is basically the most classic way to be torn, and if you're looking to be cleft, in twain is a vintage but stunning choice

[crabussy]

got told I didn't deserve to be gay because I thought lady gaga wrote money money money by abba. sorry men I am no longer attracted to you as of today. sorry abba sorry gaga sorry women sorry world

[crabussy]

bee boo ba ba.....

[micahulrichdraws]

NEW LIMITED TIME SALE! My hand-signed “Warden” & “Guardian” Small Art Prints are now discounted while supplies last! You can check ‘em out in my web shop (in my bio)! ❤️

[innerchildabortionclinic]

careers under capitalism

helping elderly people: one dollar

Senior Torture Manager: $1,500,000,000/yr plus benefits

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[sapphic-gengar]

BRING HIM BACK

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[sapphic-gengar]

oh thank goodness

[bafahy]

Ancient tattoos

[its-always-silly-season]

Valentino Rossi by Gigi Soldano // COTA 2019

[stitchposts]

[parkchanwoohoo]

[anywhoozles]

[romanceyourdemons]

sewing affirmations

it’s okay that i don’t have a sewing machine

i love backstitching by hand for hours

this has got to be great for my back

millions of my ancestors did this and they lived almost as long as i want to

i’m making so many beautiful things for my house—oh goddamn it

[natalieironside]

Maybe I can convince y'all to act right by framing things in terms of social engineering. People will be a whole lot more likely to do whatever shit you're trying to hector them into doing if you're not constantly being a dick the whole time. Being niceys is a powerful social engineering tool such as all of the times I have maliciously manipulated people into fulfilling my whims using an evil sociopathic manipulation technique i like to call "asking nice and then saying thanks after"

[rotting-malice]

i love it when girls get wet too but you have to understand your implicit biases and give more of your open affection to girls who get creepy okay