read books that you don't understand. read books where you have to pay attention. read books that make you reread a page eight times to figure it out. read books that you need to take notes on. read books with words you have to google. read books that don't make sense without research on the setting. read books that make you feel stupid because otherwise you'll just be stupid.
Canât believe straw boy stans got mad at you for that. I thought the fandom has joked about him having various vegetables done there for decades? A normal penis is such a copout and itâs cowardly to try to pretend otherwise. And thereâs always strap ons and dildos! Now, what there really isnât a workaround for is kissing of either set of lips. Those straw lips look so scratchy
Now see, first of allâŠamazing, I love the way you think. Strap-ons are always a fantastic option which Iâm sure the Emerald City has a delightful if potentially alarming array of, and I too have reservations about making out with a burlap bag.
Second of all, in fairness, the crack post I made wasnât JUST about the boyâs lack of functioning penis, it was goofing on the âlooking at things a different wayâ line, which is APPARENTLY a matter of serious contention I very honestly was previously unaware of. Like it is a Whole Thing, I have since discovered. Unfortunately, by ending my crack post on a dysfunctional penis joke, I fear I hit something of a soft spot, for lack of a better term. Since that very ill-fated day, I have learned that thereâs a bit of a cultural difference in varying corners of the Wicked fandom. As follows:
Among Elphaba and Glinda enjoyers/gelphie shippers, it is customary to brutally bully both girls, write long analyses about them, make fun of them, emotionally skewer them, wistfully imagine what-if scenarios, then go right back to bullying them, all whilst drawing little glitter hearts around them.
NOT SO for the straw boy stans, for whom I have learned that boy is a noble, self-sacrificing Christlike figure, of which the goofing-upon is a sin punishable by firing squad (or a strongly-worded essay I received which honestly in an academic setting would get a D-minus at best - speaking of being minus a D, Fiyercrow doesnât have a functioning penis)
Frankly, I LOVE the idea that once upon a time there were straw boy enjoyers who joked about which vegetable our boy is equipped with, those sound like my kind of people. Unfortunately, I think those people were probably fans of the stage play, back when Wicked was for theater nerds only. Now that itâs a blockbuster smash hit, the larger fandom has become something of a battleground for stan culture, performative leftism, non-existent ship wars, and rampant bigotry from straight women who are devastated that Wicked centers around the relationship between two very different women changing each other amidst political strife, rather than being a straightforward romance about a misunderstood outcast girl who fights evil with her hot boyfriend Jonath- I mean Fiyero.
I love the idea that many eons ago, I might have been friends with a Fiyero enjoyer, and we might have covered the important questionsâImportant questions such as: Was Fiyeroâs public role propagating a military presence across Oz morally defensible if ultimately it was done for love? And: Would it be funny to call Fiyercrowâs plant penis a cumquat, or is that low-hanging fruit?
In a similar vein: Are Fiyeroâs actions in Act 2 largely selfless as they revolve around devotion to Elphaba and culminate in self-sacrifice for her escape, or are they largely selfish as he uses his position and privilege to fight NOT for Elphabaâs cause, but for Elphabaâs affection, while simultaneously stringing along another woman and being the poster boy for the dictatorâs task force? Also: If you write Elphaba and Fiyercrow porn, is it called cornography?
Along those lines: In what way is Fiyeroâs new perspective on beauty superior to Glindaâs new perspective on morality, and does gender play a role in the verdict? Also: If Fiyercrow gets an STD and develops a temperature because of it, do they call it hay fever?
Important questions, and I feel like maybe old-school theater weirdo Fiyero fans would at least humor me, even if they rightfully found me somewhat irksome. But instead we are in movie-verse militant stan territory, where everyoneâs angry and snarly and no one finds my horticultural genitalia antics endearing.
Alas. Cultural misunderstanding, lads, Iâm used to playing a bit rougher with my faves in the gelphie corner of the fandom, I truly meant no ill will. May peace flourish between our two nations, etc, etc.
(that saidâŠfiyercrow still doesnât have a functioning penis)
and when she expresses insecurity about her appearance, rather than falling to your knees and reiterating in plain language that she's the most beautiful woman ever to breathe air, you say "It's not LYING....it's looking at things a different way đ"
Like I'm not saying Fiyero deserved to be beaten to death, I'm just saying mayyyyyybe he a little bit deserved being punched in the head a bunch of times and then magically deprived of a functioning penis.
Florence Welch saying "its funny how men don't find power very sexy / so this one's for the ladies / do I drive you crazy?" is possibly the most anyone has ever clocked their audience ever of all time
ursula k le guin said sci fi/fantasy does not have to be about giant wars or battles of good and evil or galactic disaster; it is best served as a lens through which to examine what is actually intrinsic to the human condition and what, once removed a few layers from our own perceptions & assumptions, begins to fall apart. and she was correct.
The thing about character design theory is I really think we shouldnât just keep reinforcing our âthis is what a sneaky and untrustworthy character looks like, this is what a threatening and intimidating character looks like, this is what an innocent character worth protecting looks like, this is what a smart and competent character looks like, this is what a man looks like vs what a woman looks likeâ conventions like theyâre innate human wiring that we tap into scientifically and not like, heavily societal
we are losing the ancient art of full song-length amvs so bad. i keep seeing banger edits that just cut off at 30 seconds what are u doing FINISH THE SONG!!!!
it's so wild to me that you absolutely cannot force a hyperfixation to happen. like you'll watch the most perfectly tailor-made-for-you content that everyone says you'll love and feel absolutely nothing, and then the thing you watch on a whim to fill time will reach through the screen and put its damn fingers in your brain and start rearranging the neurons right in front of you and every single time you're like THIS??? THIS??????? and this happens like every 6-12 months forever
I've talked about Elphaba's hidden need to be seen. What happens when she finally gains someone's undivided attention? And no, this is not about Glinda yet, although we'll get there. First there is a certain MM (flip it around) who, as the kids say, love-bombs our sweet girl for sinister purposes.
Morrible's sliminess prompts one of my favorite I Want songs of all time, unique because its apparent hopefulness hides so much foreshadowing and heartbreak. TWAI has been plenty discussed in the past two decades so here I'll focus more on Cynthia's acting choices and on whatever chaotic thing Jon M. Chu was doing.
(I know, NOMTW is the first song, but I'll cover it chronologically at the end of movie two)
On the surface, TWAI is a song about raising above one's circumstances and breaking free; lyrics, music and visuals come together to convey a sense of climbing up. BUT the sequence starts with Morrible holding Elphaba's hand like a friend or mother a she guides her DOWN the stairs, towards doom and betrayal. The absolute bastard.
We'll see in a minute how Elphaba is internally jumping with joy, even though her external demeanor is shy and submissive (and though I'd never show it, I'd be so happy I could... shut up, shut up, shut uppp). Morrible is saying all the things Elphaba hoped and dreamed for: you are talented, you are special, you will be recognized and rewarded because you are better than them. Someone finally saw her, someone came to the rescue.
Morrible frames Elphaba's future triumph and happiness as fitting neatly inside the current society and political system: people around you have treated you poorly in the past, but if you apply yourself, if you become exceptional, then you'll be the exception, we will spare you, they will be forced to love you. Once again, love is conditional, it can be earned but it's not intrinsic.
Elphaba is satisfied with this framing, it's nothing less than what she was taught and expected. She was born "less than", but there is hope yet, there is justice to be found, if she applies herself and makes sacrifices she will be rewarded by the the ultimate father figure, the Authority, the Wizard Himself. A girl on whom I can rely. And oh, the cruel irony, both in Elphaba's personal circumstances and in general. Nevermind being treated like shit, sky daddy sees all, he knows better, one day he will raise you above everybody else, you are his chosen, his specialiest most favorite child. He's not a fraud and it's not just a trick to keep the current system of power and oppression in place, don't you worry about it.
Jon Chu said that politics are not a main theme in Wicked, which... I'll just be here. In a corner. Screaming.
And we know that Elphaba can never work within the system, it goes against her very nature, she's too broken and too stubborn and too moral. When push comes to shove she will be unable to compromise, she's destined to be a force of destruction and revolution. Society will never love her, not unless something drastically changes or we burn it to the ground. Alas, it's not that type of story.
Morrible leaves Elphaba alone (probably to write ol' Oscar that they found themselves a golden goose) and our girl breaks into the biggest most radiant smile. Those cheeks! The tooth gap! What MONSTER sees this face and doesn't vow to cherish and protect her forever?! We've had abrasive Elphabas, sassy Elphabas, weird Elphabas, all flawed, all rightfully demanding respect. Cynthia's Elphaba is maybe the easiest to love, and yet. And yet.
She sings (with the most beautiful, buttery voice on Earth) and confirms in song what I've already pointed out: her selfishness. And yes, I'm using this word, I'm reclaiming it, selfishness is good and absolutely necessary when the world has been shitting all over you, you have to look after yourself when nobody else will. Elphaba isn't a bleeding heart, she doesn't sing about helping Nessa or fixing bigotry, instead she is almost petty, she'll show those damn Munchkins! She'll make her father and sister love her! She can't bring change all on her own (I'm limited, just look at me), making good is not her goal, it's a means to an end: to get the Wizard's protection and her heart's desire.
Elphaba flaps her arms, jumps through the scenes and climbs higher and higher, foreshadowing her later flight. Chu has an eye for spectacle, (sometimes at the price of depth), he plays with different elements, water and reflections (and what happens if she gets wet?), the colors green and pink, which are weird on paper but occur in nature all the time! Then there's the wind and animals responding to her, frogs, insects and birds, jumping and flying to add to that upward motion, running away from the ruckus she's making and mirroring the humans that run at her sight. Beauty and joy, chaos and terror, one green girl in the middle.
Elphaba is employing some egregious mental gymnastics but she's being so endearing (and just a little bit sad and pathetic) about it you can't help but root for her. Follow her logic here: if she manages to become so undeniably good, the Wizard in all his Wizard wisdom one day will say with no suggestion from her own whatsoever, 'Hey girl, you know what? it kind sucks that you're so nice inside and so ugly outside, because as we all know OBWAU (Only Bad Witches Are Ugly) and that's not racist eugenicist WW2 propaganda at all, so whaddayasay I make you not green?' All part of Elphaba's brilliant plan, and all because even in her I Want song she can only admit what she wants in the most vague and roundabout way possible.
I love the rainbow shards projecting on her skin, it's good storytelling and so very pretty. And of course, what color degreenifies Elphaba and makes her ~normal? Pink! It's ironic, isn't it, if you think about it long enough this whole song is basically her daydreaming with her whole chest about becoming A Good Witch. Elphaba the Good, if you will. And just like Glinda, she wants it mainly to gain love and attention. Does that make her a bad person? No. Of course not.
The Unlimited theme gets her back on track. You all know at this point that it uses the same notes as Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and incidentally Matt Baume published a video essay a couple weeks ago in which, among other things, he compares Dorothy's yearning for home and security to Elphaba's yearning to defy society and affirm her freedom and right to be unique. At this point in the story Elphaba doesn't yet have the maturity and self-awareness to express this, but being Authority's good little pet is not going to work for her and for people like her. Even in a song where she says she's more than willing to conform, the notes she sings and her body language are about to take flight. And here's where TWAI becomes diabolical.
I know it sounds truly crazy, and true the vision's hazy, but I swear someday there'll be, a celebration throughout Oz that's all to do with me.
Elphaba's fate was written 125 years ago, and there's a certain metatextual, almost Lynchian irony to a character self-aware enough to glimpse at its own narrative, but not self-aware enough to fight it. It's also evil and rude and I want no part of it. Oh, what a world, what a world.
The Wicked Witch in the collective imaginary raises her arm not to fly, but as she melts into the ground. Down, not up. The very song that is lifting Elphaba is also putting her back in her place. (shoutout to arobinsonart's haunting fanart)
And I wonder, was Elphaba truly meant to fly? Or was she only ever there to make others fly, to look up with feet on the ground? I'll explore this concept more.
There is a duality to this song, hope and tragedy go hand in hand. Elphaba almost flies, she reaches the highest cliff in Shiz and... her destiny is there waiting for her, down below her feet, across the desert, somewhere over the rainbow. The first two songs are such merciless foreshadows, Glinda towering above the burning effigy, Elphaba looking beyond the desert, that I never believed for a second Jon Chu would ever have the guts to change the stage ending.
(Also not to be polemic or anything but way to build giant practical sets or scouting for spectacular real life locations only to use the most bland, overexposed, unsaturated natural light possible, had to massively darken the stills to be able to see the clouds. Here's an unedited still from The Sound of Music, for no reason whatsoever.
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