i live in the dumpster behind your 7/11

~come vibe with me~ 22 ~she/they~

[selkiesparrow]

Zoozve, my beloved

[ktempestbradford]

"...we don't live in a big clockwork, we live in a dance club..."

This is my favorite line.

[rabbitrah]

It is now called Zoozve :')

[fairycosmos]

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

[jethroq]

[aphleos]

prev dont leave this in the tags

[silvergryphonart]

Literally the definition of imperialism and classism. Doesn’t matter how many peasants you sacrifice as long as the most powerful piece is left standing

[musicalhell]

Proximity of bishops to the rulers promotes theocratic oppression

[juh-was-deactivated19691231-dea]

the horse is so fuckable

[feaftlikeabeaft]

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

[the-uncanny-dag]

Sister post to The Vitamin

[misosoupcup]

[roach-works]

speculative fiction writers i am going to give you a really urgent piece of advice: don't say numbers. don't give your readers any numbers. how heavy is the sword? lots. how old is that city? plenty. how big is the fort? massive. how fast is the spaceship? not very, it's secondhand.

the minute you say a number your readers can check your math and you cannot do math better than your most autistic critic. i guarantee. don't let your readers do any math. when did something happen? awhile ago. how many bullets can that gun fire? trick question, it shoots lasers, and it shoots em HARD.

you are lying to people for fun. if you let them do math at you the lie collapses and it's no fun anymore.

[roach-works]

YOU GET IT

[cuunos]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[teaboot]

Names that are normal for old people but weird when you're a baby:

Bartholomew

Dolores

Norman

Harold

Magnolia

Names that are normal for babies but weird when you're old:

Maddison

Tanner

Skylar

Mckenzie

Logan

Names that are normal for old people and normal for babies:

Elizabeth

Mary

Michael

Finnegan

Peter

Names that are weird when you're a baby and weird when you're old:

Radish

Kerosene

Australopithecus

Anthill

Hedgemony

Names that are weird when you're normal:

Balthazar

Romulus

Clandestia

Persephone

Kremulon

Names that are normal when you're weird:

Al

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

“but shrouded black figures are scary!” not when ur muslim. its the funniest fucking thing. this is labeled on pinterest under shit like “classic horror” “scary phone wallpaper”

but that LITERALLY just looks like a niqabi or someone in a jilbab. Like Look at this pic of me (from a self photoshoot, now w/o the dramatic lighting and dark background)

or this pic of me

or this pic of me

like its so funny i can’t be scared of shrouded figures it just looks like me.

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

if i saw this i would just be like “Assalam alaikum sister, dope sword you got there”

[astriiformes]

A friend went to go see Project Hail Mary today and was telling someone about it later who launched into a lengthy monologue about how she doesn't like space movies that are "just about space," but which also featured the funniest line I've heard in a hot second

May I present:

[nexeliam]

Sacrifice for human kind

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[triangleguy]

does this happen to anyone else

[andhumanslovedstories]

My grandpa and a girl he knew prior to my grandma. Wild gun safety but they’re both about 90 these days so guess they really dodged that bullet

[andhumanslovedstories]

This woman by the way sent these pics to my grandpa along with a note that said “happy 90th birthday. By the by, my husband’s dead if you’re interested.” We asked grandpa about her and he was quiet, then said, “to be honest. She had a. Substantial rear end.”

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the other day a friend of a friend referred to "busting out of your abdomen like the alien from the Predator films" and I was completely caught off guard. like I guess that's - that's not wrong. the alien was. okay she was in the Predator films. well some of them. but like. she had her own. she's the alien from the Alien films. like. they have her name on them. he's not "King Kong from the Godzilla films"

[dragon-in-a-fez]

there's also a reason it's not called an "abdomenburster" but one issue at a time

[dragon-in-a-fez]

it's like when headlines refer to a famous woman via her husband. that's not "Predator's wife" she's got her own franchise!!

[dragon-in-a-fez]

tags from the crew of the Nostromo

[ampervadasz]

[bumblebeerror]

THE CASUALNESS OF THAT COLLIE SLIPPING RIGHT OUT OF THEIR COLLAR. That dude is a Willing Participant of this walk and by god everyone else is going to follow the RULES.

[roach-works]

im a fan of the moment where the husky is like 'wait you're not authorized to do that' and the collie is like 'THE FUCK IM NOT'

[spacelazarwolf]

unstoppable force (border collie) vs immovable object (husky)

[draconym]

Getting a phone call about an assassination attempt hits a little bit different on the 1988 Spuds Mackenzie promotional telephone

[draconym]

My mom: So there was a shooter at the correspondents' dinner- Me: Excuse me what. What did you say. My mom, with deepest sorrow: But the president is alive and unharmed- Me: Go back did you say there was a shooter. You're on the dog. My mom: I'm on the dog???? Me: Yeah you're on the dog

[whatdidtimaeustestify]

[draconym]

No apology necessary. As a Homestuck who grew up with this dogphone in my house, I instinctively read the original chatlog in the aggrieved voice of my grandfather answering his office phone with "I better not be on the dog"

[gayday-inactive]

do u have a vibrator in ur pants or is ur penis just so scared