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Out in the World - Neil Miller

Read: Mar 2019.

This was such a fascinating book. At the time I can’t imagine how amazing it must have been. Showing contemporary gay communities around the world really must have been great for the community. Now, this book serves best as a historical snapshot for gay communities around the world around 1990. It was truly interesting to see. Miller went looking for how gay people lived, how they organized (politically or otherwise), how they were dealing with HIV/AIDS. It was very interesting to see the differences around the globe. Especially since Miller made a point to show that not every place follows Western patterns in terms of gay community, identity, and sexuality. Miller also specifically looked for how lesbian communities were in the places he visited. He wasn’t always successful, but it was very interesting to read. It definitely made me wonder what the state of the gay community is now in the places Miller visited.

Info: Vintage Departures, 1992.

guccixcucci

My mom taught me to exaggerate my pain so that doctors would take me seriously and all I'm saying is that it hasn't failed me yet

guccixcucci

Listen. If you're a Black Woman you absolutely should exaggerate your pain.

We're dying because these doctors refuse to take us seriously. If you feel like something is off exaggerate it until they test for it. We've gotta advocate for ourselves

sinfulnoodle

Seriously yall. Doctors would rather you be in pain than have to actually diagnose you. Some doctor stans gon be mad but damn if it took 10 years for them to successfully diagnose my mom after she was telling them textbook recounts of what she was experiencing and if it took 8 years for my aunt experiencing terrible indescribable pain in her stomach that they could have EASILY xrayed her for to which they actually did after literal fuckin years of her crying they found that the last operator on her left shit in her stomach. Then yes doctors don't fucking care aboht patients anymore. Its a money business and you're a dollar sign to them. May be some legit ones out there but in my experience its been "you're fine, heres some shit that won't help." Because nothing fuckin changes.

guccixcucci

So many stories of people having to see 3,4 different doctors with the same symptoms just to get someone that'll run all the tests so they can get a diagnosis

afronerdism

I had all the classic symptoms of Multiple sclerosis 4 years ago. I mean textbook symptons. A disease which has no cure and which best hope is to get on treatment as soon as you see symptoms to delay or stop disease progression.

I went to my doctor after the er discharged me with “stress” and said “help my face is numb and I’m scared. He looked at me in my face and said “well what do you want me to do about it?” I had to beg to see a neurologist. The neurologist refused to let me speak and told me I was just stressed and refused to schedule me for an mri. Had she done that they would have found lesion on my brain.

4 years later I have now 2 lesions on my brain consistent with MS. I only found a doctor willing to take me seriously by happenstance after being hospitalized and refused a surgery that I would need anyway a few short months later. While on the hospital I was dismissed and refused pain medication unless I was literally screaming.

Fuck these doctors. Advocate for yourself hard.

cwicseolfor

“I want to copies of your documentation in my records of the symptoms I have reported and what actions were taken to respond to them.”

prismatic-bell

LISTEN ALL OF YOU BUT BLACK WOMEN ESPECIALLY

If a doctor refuses treatment or tests, say “I would like your refusal to treat documented in my chart.”

Then wait about 24 hours. (Partly for computer processing time, partly so if they think they’re being smart and saying yes but not actually doing it they’ll think they’re in the clear.)

Then call the doctor’s office AND SAY YOU WANT A COPY OF YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS.

If the refusal to treat isn’t in your records, you now have a malpractice suit.

Very, very few doctors are going to risk that possibility. They’ll bitch and moan when you ask for documentation, but they’ll run your tests.

As a comparison, by the way, here’s a doctor who had nothing to hide: my mom’s eye doctor when her eye started getting to the “It’s going to have to be physically removed” stage. He met us at the office at 9pm, long after close, with his date, to give my mom an injection to try to relieve the pressure in the eye. (Luckily said date also worked at the clinic and completely understood why he was doing this. He’s a great guy, he deserves a great lady.) I asked if he could note the exact time in her records, because the time needed between these injections was speeding up immensely. His reply:

“Actually that could give us an idea how fast this is progressing. Yes. What time is it? I’ll look up her earlier visit when I’m done.”

If your doctor isn’t that eager to make these notes, demand documentation and try to find a new doctor ASAP. It will save your life.

sunsis

stop writing black women (especially dark skinned women) as the impossibly wise beyond her years mentor bestie or the “uwu so pure & wholesome & entirely self-sacrificing” mom friend that takes care of everyone while getting overlooked. let black women be the flawed, reckless hero that’s in over her head, the sexy cold-blooded and badass femme fatale, the soft and naive damsel that just wants to be loved. let us be anything but the perfect magical negro pet sidekick. this has been a psa

afronerdism

I feel like the body positivity movement is literally only beneficial for average sized women who have been emotionally impacted by images of skinny women and completely useless for women who actually have to deal with the tangible effects of having bodies that aren’t conventionally attractive.

afronerdism

The vast majority of the women in my life are average sized women who have been emotionally ravaged by the idea that skinny is the norm. I won’t take away from these feelings or experiences because they’re real and every day women are struggling with their bodies because of them. However, none of these women actually have to deal the very tangible and devastating consequences of having a body that falls outside of average.

bubblegum-pwussay

This reminds me of how people tell chubby woman all they need to do is be confident and then tons of guys will be hitting on them and just refuse to acknowledge how men treat chubby woman like their invisible half the time.

afronerdism

This ties back in to what I meant by the body positivity movement only being beneficial for women who don’t deal with the realities of having a unconventional body and only has to deal with personal insecurity.

So the reason the body positivity movement focuses so much on “self love” is because for average sized women, their struggle is almost entirely internal. The battle for these women is with the mirror unlike plus size women who both have to battle internally and externally. No amount of self love deals with that external battle. But that’s why I say the body positivity movement is only beneficial for average sized women. For average sized women, self love is revolutionary. But for plus size women self love can be a balm, but it will never mitigate that external battle.

sleepysaplingz

holy fuck.

thespectacularspider-girl

We really going to ignore the fact that he donated once and is just using the same screenshot over and over?

Edit:

To clarify, I have no issue with someone donating. I’m pro-choice myself. The issue is he donates once when he says he’s going to donate each time, just so he can virtue signal about how he refuses to engage with someone.

Furthermore, I have issues with him replying to any criticism with this. You can criticize the smug pride in not engaging in debate and beating your opposition, yet he’ll assume you’re pro-life as a result.

He’s being a smug prick who is playing you all like a fiddle to get jerked off and you’re all falling for it.

quinzelade

If this is the hill you want to die on, Spidey, go for it. I’m quite happy with the idea of someone donating money to Planned Parenthood, and since I don’t know or care who he is, the virtue signalling is lost on me.

That aside, being suspicious of everyone for any nice act all the time is mentally exhausting so miss me with that.

thespectacularspider-girl

… I literally say I have no issue with him donating money.

But he’s saying “I’m going to donate every time” and then he posts the same donation page. So rather than do what he says, he’s donating ONCE and using it to as an own against other people while using it to get ass pats from people who agree with him.

That’s literally the same screenshot, two hours apart.

This is like “man pledges to build house for every homeless person evicted from X location” except he builds ONE house and takes the same picture of it over and over again, yet claims he’s built 100 houses. It’s deceptive and he’s doing it to milk people for social praise.

The goal wasn’t to help people, because if it was he’d actually donate every time. It was to get ass pats.

fingersinhisassfriday

Shut up

stonewoodzri-deactivated2019101

also

allycattiny

I fucking love this man.

sleepingpigeon

the biggest lesson im learning is that nothing is as extreme or as permanent as our emotions convince us they are. nothing is certain and things are always fluctuating and there are always exceptions and there are always mistakes. there is always pain and there is always love. everything is a delicate touch away from changing

somethingaboutsomethingelse

Courts are tied up with cops, politicians, and maintaining economic and social hierarchies by their very nature.

Far as I'm concerned acab implicates court systems and its judges.

somethingaboutsomethingelse

Judges fill the prisons.

Judges deem extrajudicial murders, especially that of black and Indigenous peoples, as unimportant at best and necessary at worst.

Judges uphold white supremacy, colonialism, and imperialism.

Judges protect police and military institutions as well as individual cops.

Judges further enforce the law that which ensures that capital and state reign supreme and all others must bow down.

Judges will deem land and people worthy of destruction in order for capitalist production and extractivism to expand.

Judges look at the blight of poverty and incode its perpetuation into said laws that maintain and expand the powers of the capitalist, property-owning, and statesmen classes.

You cannot decry cops but love and protect judges. You cannot fight for the abolition of police, of colonial nation states, of capitalism, or literally anything else regarding the maintenance of systems of oppression and be simultaneously protective and precious towards judges.

And the legal institution is specifically punitive and carceral, and its bastards exist beyond just the cops and judges. ACAB implicates the entire legal system.

hymnsofheresy

“Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow.”

— Deuteronomy 27:19

mermaidenmystic

“The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.” ~ Aristotle

Star of the Sea by Leslie Stonehouse

funkyfatbabe

since my post about how lizzo preaching self love doesnt promote obesity randomly blew up ive been unfortunate enough to see how much thin people hate fat people because theyre ‘unhealthy’ and its just made me so mad. none of it is based on facts and all of it on stereotypes and assumptions.

the things people usually cite as being diseases caused by obesity are high blood pressure, diabetes or high cholesterol. and while yes, nearly every population-level study finds that fat people have worse cardiovascular health than thin people, but individuals arent averages.

studies have found that one third to three quarters of people who meet the criteria for obesity are metabolically healthy and show no signs of elevated blood pressure, insulin resistance or high cholesterol

studies also found that over a quarter of thin people are a ‘lean unhealthy’ and that unfit skinny people are twice as likely to get diabetes than fit fat people

what does this tell us? habits are more an indicator of health than size. so why do people always hate fat people for being unhealthy but not skinny people? it’s the systematic fatphobia babey!

health also shouldnt be a factor in how you treat someone. do you go up to a smoker dying of lung cancer and tell them its all their own fault and that they deserve it? no! so shut up and stop obsessing over fat people’s health. you only care so you can shame them to boost your own shitty self esteem

tinyryder

Also, being thin or underweight can be a result of an underlying health condition. People talk about anorexia, which is important, but there are other things too.

When I was 12, I developed gastritis. It’s an inflammation of the stomach lining that’s understandably very painful. At first, it was just nausea that was made worse by my anxiety. Then it got worse. It would feel like someone was kicking me in the stomach and ribs. I couldn’t eat like I had in the past. I missed a lot of school because the pain made it really hard to think. I complained and complained but nothing was done until I lost twelve pounds in just over a month, at a time when I should be growing and thus gaining weight. I’ll probably have health issues later in life because when I wasn’t eating, I was losing nutrition.

I had a diagnosis after a year of being miserable, took medication for a few months, and haven’t really had problems since. Until I started taking antidepressants in high school, I was very thin because even though I was better, I had trouble gaining weight.

But all my family wanted to talk about was how “thin and good” I looked. It still hurts me to this day even though I’m not skinny anymore. Because I was a child back then and they sent a message that my thinness was something to be applauded, even if it wasn’t something I chose, even if it came as a side effect of being so sick I couldn’t live.

thisisthinprivilege

That sucks and I’m sorry it happened to you, but hey, maybe don’t bring thin stuff onto posts that are about the problems that come with being fat. It’s the equivalent of bringing straight stuff onto a post about the problems that come with being queer. Just don’t, ok?

roses-and-gold

I think tinyryder said at the end they no longer are skinny. That their life was valued less than them being skinny — though they gained weight afterwards. I might be wrong though

bugkinz

so my dad is a college professor and he just got alerted recently that in an effort to go “paperless,” the faculty is having their printers taken away. My dad decided to take this opportunity and… create a meme? So he goes proudly up to me and tells me “I created a meme!!!” and lo and behold…

my dad’s first meme

he was so proud of it and he emailed it individually to other faculty and nobody gave him any acknowledgement, he came into my room all sad. pls share to give my father the meme support he deserves

babyanimalgifs

the photographer took pictures of this cat before and after calling her beautiful:

dark-water-siren

Asteria - Beneath the Waves by maril1

beyonslayed

Not to sound anti vegan but what is one ecological function performed by roaches because I’m not entirely sure we need them

altonzm-deactivated20170213

they’re a part of the food chain & they help with the breaking down of forest-floor discarded foliage (cockroaches feed on fallen leaves/discarded branches and bark, and are then fed on in turn by everything from other insects to birds & small mammals)

beyonslayed

Ain’t no forest floor discarded foliage in my house tho so why they here