"hollander" (this doesn't have to change, we can go back, we can just be hollander and rozanov and ignore the strings, we can pretend it's nothing more and never talk about it and I'll never say shane again, I'll never ask for more if this is all i can get) "hollander" (there's nothing I can say to keep this from crumbling but i'm begging you)
Summary: Bucky returns home from a mission with flowers for Y/N and their four-year-old daughter, Ellie. Bucky realises he wants to expand the family
Word Count: 1.2K
It was just past seven when the front door opened with a quiet creak, the kind that only someone who lived there would recognize. The sun had already dipped below the horizon, casting a soft amber glow through the gauzy curtains of the living room. Everything inside the house was calm—the comforting kind of quiet that followed bedtime stories and warm baths.
Bucky Barnes stood in the doorway for a moment, letting the scent of home hit him. Cinnamon. Lavender. Something cooking earlier that still lingered faintly in the air. His boots were dusty, his hair pulled back into a low bun, and his tactical jacket hung open, revealing a t-shirt stained with dirt and the kind of wear only a mission could leave behind.
Tucked beneath his vibranium arm was a bouquet—sunflowers, daisies, and a few slightly crumpled wildflowers he'd picked up from a roadside stand on the drive home. It wasn’t the prettiest arrangement, but he’d picked it because it reminded him of her—bright, warm, and completely unfussy.
He hadn’t even closed the door behind him when—
“Daddy!!!”
A tiny blur of energy and curls tore through the hallway like a comet. Their daughter, four years old and currently in her favorite dinosaur pajamas, skidded across the hardwood floor in socks before crashing into his legs with a giggle.
“Whoa, hey, hey!” Bucky laughed, instinctively catching her and lifting her into the air. “You trying to take me out, peanut?”
“You’re back!” she squealed, her arms tightening around his neck. “I missed you so much! Mommy said you were doing serious superhero stuff.”
“Yeah,” he said, brushing her curls from her forehead and placing a kiss there. “Super serious. But not as serious as missing my girls.”
From around the kitchen doorway, Y/N stepped into view, drying her hands on a dish towel. Her eyes met his and softened, instantly pulling him in like gravity. She didn’t say anything at first—just looked at him, really looked at him, as if confirming he was okay, still in one piece.
“Hey, soldier,” she said finally, voice warm and quiet.
He exhaled, the tension of days on the road and the weight of everything he didn’t say melting away at the sound of her voice. “Hey, sweetheart.”
Their daughter wiggled in his arms, glancing between them with a conspiratorial grin. “Daddy brought something!”
“Oh?” Y/N smiled, stepping forward and wrapping an arm around his waist. “What’d you bring me this time? Another rock from some secret mountain?”
Bucky chuckled and reached back to grab the bouquet from the hallway table. “Nope. Upgraded. Went full romance today.”
He held out the slightly mangled bouquet with the same reverence he might hold a piece of art. Y/N laughed softly, taking it with both hands and lifting it to her nose.
“They’re beautiful,” she said, though some petals were hanging on for dear life.
“They’ve seen some things,” Bucky said with a smirk. “Like me.”
Their daughter peered up at the flowers, then gasped dramatically. “That one’s squished!”
“Language, peanut,” Y/N teased gently, holding back a laugh.
“She started it,” Bucky said, raising his hands in mock innocence. “She said it first!”
“You both owe a dollar to the swear jar,” Y/N said, kissing her daughter on the forehead. “Rules are rules.”
They settled into the evening as they always did—seamlessly, like clockwork. Bucky helped rinse the last of the dishes while Y/N put their daughter to bed. She insisted he read the bedtime story, though she yawned halfway through and fell asleep curled into his side, her tiny hand wrapped around two of his fingers.
He stayed for a moment longer, watching the rise and fall of her chest, marveling at the way something so small could hold such a massive piece of his heart.
Later, in the kitchen, he joined Y/N at the table. The flowers now sat in a mason jar in the center, and the overhead light made them glow like they were golden. She handed him a steaming mug of chamomile tea and slid into the chair across from him.
“You okay?” she asked softly, fingers finding his on the tabletop.
He nodded, slowly. “Yeah. It was a long mission. But I’m good. Better now.”
She looked at him, eyes searching for the pieces he hadn’t said out loud yet. “You’re here. That’s what matters.”
He looked down at their hands—his rough and worn, hers gentle but strong. “I used to think coming home wasn’t something I’d get to do. Not really. Not like this.”
Y/N tilted her head. “And now?”
“Now,” he said, lifting her hand to his lips, “it’s everything.”
They sat in silence for a while, sipping tea, feet brushing beneath the table. There were dishes in the sink, a forgotten coloring book on the couch, and a purple sock mysteriously hanging from the back of a chair—but to Bucky, it was perfect.
“Tomorrow,” Y/N said, stretching, “she wants pancakes with smiley faces. You up for that?”
Bucky smiled. “With chocolate chip eyes and blueberry mouths?”
“And whipped cream hair,” she added.
“Then I’d better get some sleep,” he said, standing and pulling her into his arms. “Because I’ve got a breakfast masterpiece to prepare.”
She leaned into him, breathing in the scent of mission dust and aftershave. “Welcome home, Buck.”
His arms tightened around her.
“Home,” he whispered. “My favourite word.”
---------------
The smell of warm syrup and cinnamon lingered in the air as Bucky finished scraping the last of the pancake crumbs from his plate. Their daughter, Ellie, was still happily devouring the chocolate-chip “monster” pancakes he’d made that morning. Her face was covered in syrup, and she was grinning up at him with that wild, unfiltered joy only a four-year-old could pull off.
"These pancakes are the best, Daddy!" she declared with a grin so big it was almost contagious.
Bucky smiled down at her, his heart swelling with affection. Best pancakes, huh? He could live with that. He felt a deep sense of pride in the little moments like this—her voice echoing through their kitchen, Y/N humming as she poured more syrup, the soft sound of their laughter filling the space. It was these quiet, everyday moments that felt like home to him now. Home was no longer the solitude he’d once known, the loneliness of missions and waiting in a dark corner, wondering if there was ever going to be a place for him to truly belong.
But now he had this. A family. A life.
Y/N caught his gaze across the table, her smile warm and genuine. Her eyes softened when she saw the look on his face—one that she knew well. It wasn’t often that Bucky let himself linger in the softness of the moment, but when he did, it was a glimpse into the man he had become since they’d built this life together. Since they had brought Ellie into the world.
“You’re quiet today,” she remarked, breaking him from his thoughts. “Something on your mind?”
Bucky looked at her—her face flushed from the early morning light, her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. She was the most beautiful thing in his world, and every time she looked at him like that, it felt like they were the only two people in the room.
He shifted in his seat, reaching for his coffee. “I’ve been thinking.”
She raised an eyebrow, clearly curious. “About?”
Bucky hesitated. The words had been circling in his mind for a while, but now that he was about to say them, it felt like they carried more weight than he anticipated. He licked his lips, his thumb absentmindedly tracing the rim of his coffee cup. "About… what we talked about a while ago. You know, about having another kid."
Y/N’s eyes softened immediately, and she gave him a quiet, reassuring smile. “You’ve been thinking about that?”
“Yeah,” Bucky murmured. “More than I expected to. I know it’s not exactly the easiest decision, especially with the life we live, but...” He looked over at Ellie, who was happily scribbling on a placemat, her tongue sticking out in concentration. “Seeing her grow up like this, with you… I think I’d love to do it again. Have another one.”
Y/N blinked, her hands stilling on her coffee cup as she processed what he was saying. She knew Bucky. She knew how he thought. And for all the layers of doubt and uncertainty he carried with him, when it came to his love for her and their daughter, there was no question.
“You’re sure?” she asked softly. “Another kid means more noise, more mess, less sleep... and a whole lot of glitter in places glitter should never be.”
Bucky chuckled at the thought. “I’ve fought Hydra bases with less glitter than you’d find in a toddler’s playroom. I think I can handle it.”
Y/N smiled, her lips quirking in that way he loved. “You know, if we do this, there’s no going back. We’ll have another little one running around, making even more chaos than we’re already dealing with.”
“I’m not afraid of chaos,” Bucky said, his voice dropping to a quieter, more serious tone. “I just... I love what we have. I love being her dad. But there’s this space in my heart, this feeling that there’s more room for one more. For another little person to love and protect and... build a life with.”
He exhaled slowly, as though letting go of the last threads of hesitation he’d been holding onto. “And I think it would be a dream come true. To have another kid. To grow this little world we’ve made.”
Y/N reached across the table, her fingers brushing his gently. She studied his face for a moment, as though searching for something he hadn’t said, something deeper. He had always been a man of few words, but she knew him better than anyone else. She could see the depth of his emotion, the uncertainty mingled with hope. And with that, her heart swelled, knowing how far they had come.
“I’ve thought about it, too,” she said quietly. “Seeing you with Ellie... it’s like watching magic happen. You’re such a good dad, Bucky. You have so much love to give, and I think we’re both ready for more. I think... I think we can do this. If you’re ready.”
Bucky’s face softened at her words, and for the first time in a long while, the weight of his past didn’t seem to have the same hold over him. He wasn’t sure if he was ever truly ready for fatherhood, but he knew that what he felt now was the kind of certainty he hadn’t even known was possible.
Before he could respond, Ellie looked up from her drawing, her syrup-covered face lighting up. “Are you guys talking about me?”
Bucky and Y/N exchanged a knowing look before Y/N grinned. “Always, peanut.”
Ellie squinted at them with an exaggeratedly serious expression, clearly not letting the moment pass without adding her two cents. “You know what? I think we should have a baby.”
Y/N froze mid-laugh, and Bucky blinked at her. “What?”
Ellie held up her crayons proudly. “I drew it! Look!” She pointed to her placemat, where a stick figure family was illustrated—herself, Bucky, and Y/N, with a tiny stick figure nestled in between. “That’s the baby! It has rocket boots! So it can fly around, just like me!”
Y/N burst out laughing, and Bucky’s chest tightened at the sight. Ellie had just made the decision for them, it seemed.
“Rocket boots, huh?” Bucky asked, holding back a grin.
“Yeah! And a cape! It’s gonna be so cool.”
Bucky leaned in, kissing her cheek. “Well, in that case, I think we might have to start looking for a rocket ship.”
Y/N, her laughter still lingering, reached for her lemonade and gave Bucky an affectionate look. “I guess the decision is made, then.”
Bucky raised his glass in a quiet toast. “To chaos, to love, and to rocket-powered babies.”
Ellie clinked her milk cup against theirs with a squeal of excitement. “To rocket babies!”
As Bucky watched his family—his little girl, her wild imagination, and Y/N, the love of his life—he knew that no matter what the future held, it was all worth it. This was his family. And whatever came next, they would face it together.
whoever picks up spn for season 16, i beg you if you do market research, this time please choose the right market you are researching. it ain't the rednecks that are keeping spn in the top 5 most streamed shows 3 years after it ended. it's the gays.
It is so well known that women are better and safer drivers than men that OUR CAR INSURANCE RATES ARE LOWER. Women get into fewer accidents, get fewer DUIs, and receive fewer speeding tickets than men.
“women never shut up”
Several scientific studies have shown that not only do men talk more than women, they also think that women have been talking for much longer than they actually have. Men interrupt and talk over women, dominate conversations, and still think women talk too much.
“women are shallow”
Lol next
“my wife is my ball and chain lmao”
Multiple studies have shown that marriage between men and women:
Increases male lifespan, decreases female lifespan
Decreases male depression rates, increases female depression rates
Decreases male stress levels, increases female stress levels
Increases male health and happiness, decreases female health and happiness
Increases a man’s chance of getting a raise or promotion, decreases a woman’s chances of getting a raise or promotion
“women are too emotional”
Men love to say this about women after hurting them, in order to shift the blame and dismiss their feelings in one go. In reality, women are taught to hold our tongues and control ourselves quite literally from birth. We’re taught to put men’s needs and wants ahead of our own emotions regardless of the personal cost. Men are taught to do more or less whatever the fuck they want to women. Men take their emotions out on women while women are expected to shove theirs down.
I could go on and on but I don’t really think I need to.
summary you’re a single mom living three trailers down. eddie thinks you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. queue the movies, nachos, cherry cough syrup, and a couple of moments of clarity. [10k]
warnings teen mom!reader, fem!reader, r is junie’s birth mother, fluff, hurt/comfort, eddie being a total girl dad (<3), mutual pining, yearning etc, tw for not having much money, general mom struggles :(, slowburn friends to lovers, idiots in love!!! tw sick fic
𓆩❤︎𓆪
Eddie has the most peculiar curl tucked up by his neck. Where most are frizzy and loose, this one falls in a perfect shiny ringlet below his ear. He shifts and it's out of view, a curtain of dark hair falling forward and hiding his face as he puts your car in park.
"Remind me why you had to drive?" you ask, ducking down to look at the glaring white lights of the movie theatre across the street.
"You were gonna fall asleep behind the wheel."
For once, Eddie might not be exaggerating. He grins at your lack of rebuttal and throws an arm behind your shoulders, twisting in the driver's seat to set his sights on Junie.
"Are you ready?" he asks her.
She wiggles. It's an ecstatic movement. Her clothes are prim and sweet if you do say so yourself, a long sleeved shirt under a pair of the world's cutest dungarees. They crinkle as she moves, pressed to perfection.
You and Eddie open opposite doors in tandem and step out into the brisk, early night. The sidewalk shines with rain, a black slickness stretching in every direction. You shiver and pull your thin jacket tighter to your torso as you turn back to the car, intending to retrieve Junie and rush into the theatre before you can freeze on the spot.
Eddie's already swung open the door and rescued your daughter from the confines of her car seat, neatening up the hem of one of her socks with her face pushed over his shoulder.
She giggles about something and Eddie says, "Sorry, June. 'M tickling you, am I?" so fondly you have to avert your eyes.
He locks the car and hands over your keys with a smile. You smile back, heart flipping like a spinning coin. Head over tails, over and over.
The big, ring-heavy hand he holds to Junie's back reaches for you suddenly enough that you flinch.
"I'm sorry," he apologises, suppressing a laugh, "your necklace is twisted."
He moves in a second time and you raise your chin, chest aflame as his fingers glance off of your bare skin. He slips the chain over his index and pulls, encouraging the links around until the clasp is hidden again.
"Thank you." You huff an awkward, sheepish laugh.
"You owe me," he says, mock-severe.
Your laugh is much more genuine as you follow him across the road.
You're squinting as you approach The Hawk movie theatre. The title cards are hard to look at, aggressively white with black capital letters that read, 'The Great Mouse Detective 7'.
There's a small line of families waiting by the front. You realise it like a shock, that the three of you must look like a family too.
Eddie carries Junie with the surety of a dad that's carried his child a hundred times before; he strokes the back of her head with the affection of one, soothing the mess of flyaways she'd acquired by squirming in her car seat. Junie responds with familiarity, hands tucked into his hair and tugging. She's trying to be nice but his hair won't allow it, all his long curls tangled at the ends from a day at work.
Still, he says, "Thanks, baby. Make sure you get the back, okay?"
"Okay," she echoes.
You look down at your wringing hands. There's ink smudged up the side of your writing hand. You scratch at it half-heartedly, blinking against your fatigue.
You're exhausted tonight and it's only Wednesday. You can't imagine how you'll fare tomorrow considering how little sleep you're expecting tonight — there are a thousand things to do when you get home. Laundry to wash and press, cleaning to do, dinner to make.
You'd been writing cheques for due bills when Eddie had come knocking, well-dressed, stupid-handsome, and announced that tonight you would be accompanying him to the movies. He'd actually said 'accompanying'.
Despite a full agenda, you'd said yes. You're not very good at saying no. At least, not to him.
It takes you a moment to realise you're at the front of the line. You pay for the tickets before Eddie can try it, and with his hands full he can't really stop you. He whines about it all the way to the concession stand.
"You can buy the snacks," you say. His face lights up, and you amend, "If you're reasonable."
"I'm always reasonable…ly over the top," he says, chided by your hard stare.
"Yes, you are."
He follows you down the two steps to the concession and cuts in front of you. "How did you do that? What face was that? I felt my soul leave my body."
"That's my disapproving mom look. I'm disapproving."
"Ah." He pats Junie's side sympathetically.
She pulls her head from over his shoulder and smiles at you. Her arms vy for your hold. You steal her from Eddie and kiss her all over her tiny face, uplifted by how much she loves you, how happy she is to be in your arms.
"What snacks do you want? Do you eat popcorn with butter? Without?" Eddie asks, his newly emptied arms already posed thoughtfully, a hand under his chin as he thinks over his options.
The theatre has a huge array of jellies, an even bigger array of candy bars. There are more brands of soda than there are glasses in your kitchen cabinet.
You're daunted.
"Whatever you want," you say.
Eddie groans and tips his head back. "Don't play with me like this. Butter or no butter? It's an easy question."
"I don't know. Without?"
"You are so weird," he says happily.
You pout and pull Junie closer.
Standing at the side while he gathers concessions, too many things, you watch in awe as Eddie stacks it all against his chest with the sure confidence of someone who's done it before.
He grins at you from between two huge cups. "Are we ready?"
If you could, you'd leave him here in the foyer with his jumbo deluxe popcorn. As it stands, you like him too much to leave him behind. You juggle Junie and your bag to push open the doors for him outside of screen two.
"Thanks, babe," he says outside of screen two. You bite your lip, surprised by his easy tone.
You climb up the stairs and into your seats. You're high enough for Junie to sit in her own chair between you and Eddie and see the screen comfortably but she adamantly refuses, stretching out in your lap like an alley cat hungry for affection.
Eddie moves into the ragtag velvet seat beside you, a million things in his lap and at your feet. He's pretty enough under the theatre lights to dull the panging ache at the back of your head. "If she won't sit here, I will. I got you a lemonade, is that cool?"
If it weren't you'd hardly tell him.
"She's being extremely well-behaved," Eddie notes, an inkling of pride in his tone.
You could sucker punch him. Why does he do this to you?
"I know," you say with a shy smile, "it's suspicious, isn't it?"
"I don't know. If I were in your lap I might be well-behaved too." He raises his eyebrows, an over-exaggerated show of flirtatiousness.
You reach over the arm to take a handful of popcorn. Eyes on Junie, you offer her your stolen goods and say, "I've got two thighs."
"Don't tempt me."
Junie all but snatches the popcorn and tilts her head back. A kernel falls from her hand and disappears between the seats. You make a mental note to pick it up afterward, ears full of her chomping.
You'd worried she might be a little loud for the movies but there's a bunch of kids and none seem keen on keeping quiet, a cacophony of childish complaints to hide your conversation.
"Are babies supposed to eat popcorn?"
You freeze up. "Oh- I don't know," you say, turning Junie toward you so you can watch her swallow.
"I thought I read that somewhere, but-"
"No, I think you're right. Um…" Junie looks at you with obvious confusion. "Was that yummy?" you ask. You hide your concern with a strained bubbly attentiveness.
"I guess she's old enough."
Eddie's being very casual – it is casual. He's just thinking out loud. You know he's not criticising you. He never has, though sometimes you think he should.
It must show on your face anyhow that you're having a 'I'm a bad mom' crisis. A mean stroke of insecurity.
"Sweetheart," Eddie says suddenly, brows pinched, "it's alright. It was just a thought. And she had no problem eating it, I'm sure she's gonna be aces. Better than aces."
Junie climbs out of your lap and into his. He sets the popcorn on the floor to take her, and when her hands reach for his drink he holds the straw to her mouth. All the while his eyes move between her and you.
"Okay," you say, because you're being silly.
Junie is fine. Eddie was only saying something that's very well true. Babies aren't supposed to have popcorn, but June's not a baby, really. She knows how to chew properly. It's unlikely she'll choke.
Eddie has to keep his focus on her to avoid getting soaked – she barely knows how to use a straw and keeps trying to turn the cup upside down.
"Not like that, trouble. Right way up. You got it."
You pick at the loose stitching at the end of your shirt and have to change the subject before the embarrassment of it all swallows you. Such a small thing.
"Can I try one of these?" you ask, grabbing the first bag of candy you can find. They're a bag of Super Sour Suckers.
He looks at you over Junie's head, startled and hiding it poorly. Then, a smile so bright it increases the embarrassment you're feeling tenfold.
"You have to! Robin said they're even worse than the normal ones, I don't wanna go through that alone," he says urgently.
Robin is one of his friends. You're not jealous that he has friends (though you are, because you want your own, but not jealous that he has friends that aren't you). He's mentioned her in passing before. When you'd asked as bravely as you dared if they were anything more than friends he'd laughed maniacally.
"We're definitely just friends," he'd said.
You fight to stay smiling and pull open the bag of candies. Ironically, the jellies inside are shaped like pacifiers. Covered in sugar packed densely and looking almost wet with what you suspect to be citric acid, you shake the packet wearily and search for a candy that won't ruin your tongue.
Eddie holds out his hand. You drop a green one into his palm. Your fingertips ride up the curve of his thumb.
He's unflinching as he eats it. After a few seconds his eyes screw up and he clutches June tight to his chest, raising an unhelpful hand to his jaw.
"Holy sugar," he says, wincing.
You bite into a pink pacifier unfortunately layered in sugar and wait nervously for the sourness to kick in. Sure enough, it comes quick and torturous. It's a knife cutting through fog.
It's hard to feel tired when there's something this sour in your mouth.
"You can't spit it out!" Eddie says.
You stop with your hand halfway to your mouth. "What?" you ask incredulously, trying not to dribble.
"You gotta eat it! Chew and swallow!"
You chew miserably. He laughs at your expression – a warm and hyper sound, practically giggling. Junie joins in as she always does. His joy can't be overstated.
The lights go down while you're still fighting for your life. Your eyes water and you have to smother the taste with a quick drink and a gasping breath.
"You're sick. I can't believe you let me eat that," you whisper.
"You saw me eat mine! You knew what you were getting into… Think June wants one?"
Your outrage has him laughing again. It's a magnetic sound. Every time he does it you want to touch him, his arm one pole and your hand another.
Junie gets comfortable on his right leg, head tipped expectantly against his chest and eyes drawn to the screen as the trailers begin. You don't bother with jealousy; in ten minutes she'll be climbing over the arm to sit with you again, or want to sit in her own seat. She may even try to walk around. Toddlers are indecisive and easily distracted.
Even if she weren't. Even if she sat there in his lap for the next hour and a half and didn't look your way, you're not sure you could harbour any envy against him. His hand spreads over the front of her torso with fingers splayed against her ribs, stroking thoughtlessly through the fabric of her thick clothes.
He tips his head toward your chair. "There's nachos."
"I saw."
"Wanna eat some before they get cold?"
"Subtle."
He snorts. "Yep. That's what they call me. Eddie Subtle Munson."
You reach over the dark floor for the tray of nachos and balance them carefully on the armrest between your two seats. Eddie digs in without fuss, you fret over which ones have jalapeños on them, and Junie gets mad that nobody's sharing with her. She puts her hands straight in a mound of orange cheese. Her face is a picture when she brings it to her mouth. She's discovered molten gold.
"Junie," Eddie says lightly, carding hair away from her ear so she can hear him properly. "Don't get cheese on your pretty clothes. It took your mom a week to get the rocky road out of your strawberry jammies, you know?"
He doesn't care that she's mauled the food. He's worried she might stain her dungarees. Your heart goes crazy, another sudden surge of clarity.
Junie climbs back into your own lap as the movie begins. You whisper to her about proper theatre etiquette in your mommy voice and she doesn't do too bad a job at listening. She finds the appearance of the Great Mouse Detective himself quite funny, and laughs at his grave features and expressions every now and then. It's a golden sound.
Try as you might, you can't keep your eyes open. Junie's having such a good time and Eddie whispers funny commentary beside you, but eventually your eyelids creep shut and Eddie squeezes your arm, skin braceleted by his thick, warm fingers.
-
"C'mere," Eddie prompts, hands vying for your daughter where she's perched in your lap.
"Why?" Junie asks.
He's surprised at her inquisition. "You don't want a hug?"
She nods voraciously. Eddie lifts her off of your lap before she can use you as a climbing frame and into his own.
"I think mommy's sleeping," he tells her.
Junie looks at you curiously. You've got a wet wipe in your limp hand, which he takes and discards, and your head's fallen to one side. You'll have an awesome crick in your neck when you wake up.
Junie gives him a hug. He loves her hugs. They're so small and sweet, she's genuinely an extremely loving little girl. Her smile when she hugs people is beautiful as yours is, though her affection is less hesitant.
Everything's going well until she catches a look at the huge, scary bad guy Professor Ratigan somewhere in the middle.
Eddie's crunching through a greedy mouthful of popcorn and almost chokes as she turns around and hides in his chest. He brings a hand up to her back protectively though he doesn't know what happened, eyes moving between her and the screen at lightning speed.
"Aw, June," he murmurs sympathetically. He really is a scary looking guy.
"Eddie," she says, dangerously close to tears.
"Sweetheart, it's okay! He's only on TV."
She says something that might be, "Don't want." It's not quite there but Eddie thinks she's doing a great job lately with her talking, patting her back in a silent well done as he attempts to reassure her. "Basil's gonna outsmart him, Junie. The Great Mouse Detective is gonna save the day, scout's honour."
"No," she whines softly.
He covers her unhappy face with his hand.
"It's okay," he murmurs, melted and bemused. "It's okay, junebug. I swear."
Despite his best efforts, she starts to cry. Eddie freezes up because she doesn't cry often, not with him. When she does you're always there to find a solution. He supposes the novelty of being a new person has long worn off, and that he's going to have to make more of an effort than just tickling her or petting her hair to make it better.
Her volume increases. He shushes her, clumsy and awkward but earnest, trying the best that he can to make it up. He offers candies and drinks, he rummages through your baby bag for Mr. Bear. She takes it all but none of it lasts.
Someone in the chair behind him coughs pointedly.
Eddie turns to wake you up. He gets one good look at your face and can't follow through.
You're sleeping deeply, at the movie theatre of all places. How tired are you, and why hadn't you said? He'd known to some extent — it's why he'd offered to drive — but with the movie blaring and all the kids and noise and now Junie's crying, he realises you must be exhausted to sleep through it. Why hadn't he noticed? He kicks himself.
He lifts her up with his head angled down, giving your shoulder a swift squeeze and then bumping down the steps with Junie until he's out into the lights of the hallway. The door swings closed.
It's oddly quiet and extremely bright. Junie stops crying to blink, and starts to cry again once she's adjusted.
Eddie does not know what to do. It's a kick to his ego that he quickly accepts, though he does murmur a rueful, "Babe, I thought you liked me."
Lost on deaf ears, his comment hangs in the air.
He pats her back some more, wracking his brain for how you take care of her when she gets like this. Mostly, you're patient. You hum and you wait. Eddie tries to emulate you and your kind heart, walking her up and down the hall as he taps the bottom of her spine.
"It's okay," he repeats. The more he says it the easier it feels. It is okay. He has to find a way to help June understand that, is all.
She grizzles. It's a long process. A couple of times he wonders if he's in over his head, if it's even his place, if he should wake you up and admit defeat.
But Eddie Munson is trying to prove something.
He works Mr. Bear out of Junie's iron grip and pinches his back taut so that his face and arms wiggle when he wants them to.
"Baby June," he begins, in as gruff a voice as he can manage. He tries to channel his uncle's sternness, and his fondness. "Won't you quit crying? You're getting tears on the neck of your t-shirt and all over your cheeks."
Junie quietens. She still cries, but the severity of the situation noticeably shifts.
Eddie keeps on. "I got just the thing," he says, pushing Mr. Bear forward and making smacking sounds as he kisses both of her cheeks. "Gotta kiss these tears right off a'you."
She laughs as Mr. Bear kisses her face dry and laughs some more when Eddie kisses the top of her head.
Eddie loves Junie.
He knows it for a fact.
She's very easy to love. She's beautiful as you are, she's loving, she's sweet. Her laugh is adorable and her smile is more. When she cries, Eddie finds he's never annoyed. Grated by the repetitive sound, maybe, but he can't find it in himself to be mad with her ever. He wants to help her work through it. To get you both through it. Eddie wants to be good at this.
He has Mr. Bear kiss Junie all over her face.
"See?" Mr. Bear asks. "Isn't that better? No more tears, little girl, or we'll never see the end of the movie!"
As Eddie says it, he wonders if taking her back into the theatre is a good idea.
"Hey, junebug?" he says, all drama set aside.
Junie lifts her flushed face.
He smiles gratefully. "Do you wanna go back inside? Go check on mommy?" Leaving you by yourself doesn't exactly sit right with him.
Ah, there's the face he was expecting. Puzzlement, surprise. Junie frowns at him and looks over his shoulder, her own, searching the empty hallway for you and finding only reflective floor lights and patterned carpet.
Eddie starts back into the screen room before she can cry over your being missing, chatting quietly but in a way that commands her attention. He's effective in the art of distraction if nothing else.
The mouse detective and his friends have defeated Professor Ratigan, though Eddie shields Junie's head from the screen in case he's thinking about making a comeback, finding his way back to you in the dark. He picks over other people's snacks and then the abundance of your own, finding you still sound asleep. The sight doesn't spell good tidings.
"Here she is," Eddie tells Junie, "here's mom. You wanna give her a kiss?"
He sits down in his seat and squishes a bag of gummy worms under his boot. Junie immediately bends over the armrest and grabs at your front. You'd worried to him once that she had separation anxiety, and Eddie didn't know anything about it to agree or not. This display makes him think she might. She's clinging to you, desperately wanting your attention.
Eddie winces as she grabs your face. She's obviously not trying to be cruel, hand stroking over your cheek as you'd stroke hers.
"Mom," she whispers, the action itself enough to get Eddie laughing. Her version of whispering is almost like a character in a pantomime.
He doesn't laugh for very long. You're not easy to wake up. Junie squishes your cheek and tries again. "Mommy," she says.
You groan in your sleep and your eyes scrunch together. "What?" you murmur finally, voice scratchy.
"You're missing the movie," Eddie says, patting your thigh.
Your arms come to life before you do. You wrap them around Junie's short torso and encourage her up your chest until you can nose at the top of her head. You rub slow lines, a steady back and forth. Eddie would bet money you don't have a clue in the world where you are.
"S'loud," you complain. Your voice is weak with sleep.
Junie looks at Eddie weirdly. He suspects it's her way of asking him to help out without asking.
He tenses his hand where it rests at your thigh. "Do you wanna go home?"
You don't answer. You go limp under his touch and Junie's weight, nose and lips set in a frown but otherwise near languid.
Eddie's small (and alarmingly ever-present) worry for you multiplies by a hundred.
He grabs up a bag of chips and entices your daughter back onto his thigh. She digs through half the bag as the movie draws to a finish, distracted if not happy, her face and fingers swiftly flaked in corn dust. The lights are thrown up and the noise is immense, a hundred pairs of shoes over tipped popcorn, babies and young kids unsettled, their parents eager to head home and watch their own movies no doubt.
Eddie can't say he'd really watched the film besides precursory glances, his focus on you and your fidgety offspring. He'd been excited to tell you about his Junie success, but now he just wants to get you home.
He says your name as clearly as he can, his hand finding its way to your thigh for the third time. He rubs down toward your knee and gives your leg a shake.
Junie climbs off of his own. Now the lights are on she can see the grand assortment of snacks laid out before her, and she seems eager to try them all.
You eventually, thankfully rouse, you drag a palm over your eyes and cross your legs, squishing his hand in the process. He steals it back.
"Babe, you gotta get up. The attendants are looking at us funny. I think they think I've run you ragged, and while the dad tag doesn't bother me, 'cruel husband' doesn't suit me."
"What?" you ask.
He shrugs. "Junie pissed her pants."
Your eyes open, lashes parting clumsily. You move like the air around you has turned to glue and moan in a quiet display of agony as your neck clicks. "She leaked through?"
"Nah, I'm messing with you. Movie's done. Getting some weird stares."
You're quiet, but you shrug on your jacket and Eddie packs what he can of the leftover candy into your bag. He swings it over his shoulder.
"You wanna come up?" he asks Junie.
She raises both arms.
You stand on shaky legs. Eddie stations Junie on one hip with one arm wrapped around her and holds out the other. You let him fold you up into his side.
"You okay?" he asks.
Your face drops into his shoulder. "I'm so tired."
"You're alright to walk out to the car?"
His worry is like a rubber band. You snap to attention, disengage from his hold. It's a foreign and really uncomfortable feeling to see you out of sorts.
Eddie walks behind you with a hand nearly but not touching your back. If you topple, he's not sure how he's gonna save you. Determined anyways, he guards you down the hollow stairs and through the hallway, one step behind you.
It's a cool, crisp night outside.
The smell of rain sticks around. You lift your chin. It's much colder now that night's fallen. The breeze kisses your damp skin. When did you start sweating?
He presses his hand to your shoulders and guides you across the road.
Junie starts her lovely babbling in his ear. "Mouse 'tective," she says at one point. You don't react, affirming his theory: you're more than tired. You're sick.
"Mouse detective," he agrees, arm around your shoulder to assuage his own worries as he gives Junie the best of his attention. "You liked that one, huh?" Besides the evil Professor. "Better than the Muppets in New York? Junebug, you little traitor. How easily your favour changes."
"Are you surprised? She took to you like," — you yawn wide enough that Eddie feels it under his arm, a full body thing — "a duck to water."
He beams, relieved to hear your voice. "Yeah, well, I'm special."
"That's true."
Eddie walks you around to the passenger side and opens your door.
"Flirting! Awesome. You're not too sick to forget how much of a catch I am. Watch your head."
"I gotta do Junie's straps," you say.
"I think I can do it by now."
He's only sort of bluffing. It takes him much longer than it would've taken you. He celebrates his win by pinching her cheek lightly and then whacking his head hard on the roof of your car.
"Fuck," he mutters as he jogs around the hood, scrubbing at the back of his head.
You're staring at him as he opens the door.
He puts the baby bag in your lap and shoves the key in the ignition, trying not to buckle under the weight of your gaze. He cracks quicker than he should, hand paused in its action.
"What?"
"You tryna give yourself a concussion?"
"Kiss it better?"
You kiss the tip of your finger and touch it to his head. It's an instant healing potion.
Getting you both home is easy enough, it's the trying to leave that's hard. You collapse heavily into the couch, Junie drapes herself over your lap and begs for her clothes to be taken off. Your second wind has worn away to nothing, leaving you plainly exhausted.
Eddie can't go home, not until he knows you're alright.
He slinks into your bedroom and tries not to look around too much. It feels like an invasion of privacy despite having made it in here a couple of times, always with his hip to the door as you search for something. He fails spectacularly and straight away, always hungry to know more about you. These days especially.
Your bed looks like you shook out the duvet but never tucked the corners. Your pillow's on the floor, your thin throw blanket is screwed up in a ball. There's a bunch of Junie's stuffies against the headboard. He grins at their straight backs.
He makes for your wardrobe, a cheap bit of cherry wood with one sagging door. As much as he wants to outfit Junie in her goodwill band t-shirt, he pulls a soft pair of cotton pyjamas out from a neatly folded stack, thumbing the blue fabric fondly. There's a noticeable disparity between her clothes and yours. One work skirt and one work shirt hang from two lonely hangers, accompanied only by your infamous 'best jeans'. He frowns at a small stain at the knee and scratches it fruitlessly. Not her best jeans, he thinks in horror, picturing your unhappy face. He can see it so clearly, the pinching of your brows.
Junie squeals happily from the living room. Eddie remembers himself and follows the sound, finding you both on the ground. You're kneeling, blowing raspberries into Junie's naked stomach where she lays on her changing mat, a discarded diaper and her dirty clothes to the side.
There's a big break between raspberries where your eyes drift shut sluggishly. Junie whines for another.
Eddie sits next to you. Stupidly close, his crossed leg kisses your thigh. He could wrap you up in a hug easily right here, and he wants to. Your tired face has his stomach aching with guilt.
"Sweetheart," he says to you firmly, "get back on the couch. You look like you're gonna fall asleep right here."
You don't argue, leaving Eddie the impossible duty of dressing your baby. Junie hates the shirt more than he can describe, loathes the fabric as it covers her face. He has to pick her up to get her into her pants, another fury. She forgives him easily once he's done, lingering by his side with Mr. Bear in hand. She pinches his back and imitates Eddie's low growl, laughing at herself as she does. She finds it very funny. Eddie can't help giggling with her.
"Eddie?" you ask.
He turns. You look miserable.
"What?" he asks softly, startled by your intense expression.
"Thank you."
"Oh, baby," he says, loud and brash as he twists where he is to grab both of your knees. He practically throws himself at you, at your feet, ducking his cheek to your leg. "You really are sick as a dog."
You look visibly embarrassed.
"Listen," he says, insistent, "If we start saying thank you to each other, we won't stop. We'll be a loop of thank yous."
"I think I have more to say than you do," you murmur.
He shakes his head, exasperated at your inability to see him for what he is even now. It's funny. Eddie thinks you've a better view of him than anybody else, that you see him more generously than anyone has ever seen him, and you still haven't noticed he's a boy in love.
You must feel his grin as he kisses your knee, his thumb stroking over the ridge of the cap.
"If I started to say thanks for all the things you've given me I wouldn't stop. I'd talk myself hoarse," Eddie argues.
You laugh at his dungeon master dramatics, but reaffirm, "I haven't given you anything."
"You don't know what you've given me," he says into your leg.
Eddie lifts his head, weary of his chin digging into your leg.
Now isn't the best time to declare devotion, or drop kisses into you when you can't offer any in return. Not that he's expecting you to. Not that he wouldn't receive them gratefully.
"I should go home."
You reach for him. Your hand moves slowly like you've a weight around your wrist, but your fingertips curve over his cheek; you move from the corner of his lip, under his eye, and then finish your circle at the skin beneath his ear.
"Can you hug me?" you ask.
"Yeah," Eddie says. He doesn't waste any time.
He gets up, slides a knee between your knees and rests his full weight on the couch between them as his arms curve around you and his hands feel for the dip of your lower back. He clutches without any hesitation.
"Can I? Did you mean it like that? My arms work fine."
You curl your arms around him and groan. "You're gonna crush me."
"Really?" He pulls you closer. "How 'bout now?"
"Ow," you whine.
He laughs and pushes his face toward your ear. "Liar," he whispers. "No way that hurts."
"Why's everybody always on top of me?"
"That's your issue?" He pulls back. "You want to sit in my lap?"
"No!"
"Aw, my poor girl. You totally wanna sit in my lap. Alright, get in it."
He sits down beside you and waits, one arm still behind your back. He gives you an encouraging tug.
"I'm not sitting in your lap."
"I didn't think you would, just- Just c'mere," he prompts, pulling your face into his chest.
Your arms slide around his waist. He can feel the scratchy skin on your left index finger, a scar of a recent kitchen accident, against his hip where his shirt has ridden.
"You're really handsy. Has anyone told you that before?" Eddie asks, trying to cover the entirety of your back with his arms alone.
You push your face as far as it'll go into his chest. Eddie keeps you there, and soon a little body has found its way onto the couch next to you both, demanding to be included. Eddie quickly drags her in.
Long minutes of quiet hugs.
"Wish we could stay like this forever," you murmur.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere. If you were worried."
He massages over the slope of your shoulder, a tight looking muscle. You sigh inaudibly, a hot patch over his heart.
"I wasn't," you say.
Eddie thinks you might finally be on the same page.
-
You get really, really sick.
"On my days off!" you croak, the injustice too much to handle.
Eddie laughs from the end of your bed, a bandana tied around his face like a doctor from one of his awful horror movies, though the bandana is far from a clinical white. "That's exactly why you're still sick. Your body sensed the weekend."
Hadn't it? You'd been achy and awful on Friday and Benny had sent you home at lunch, citing a need to keep his patrons from infection. Which sucked, because you'd really wanted to stick around for the very beginning of the Friday night rush and get some payday tips. People are generous when they're high on the buzz of a forthcoming weekend, especially to over obsequious waitresses.
It had sucked worse when Junie came out of daycare in the best mood ever and demanded kisses. You'd had a headache the size of a tennis ball behind your eyes and didn't want to pass anything over, and the crushed look on her face had made you cry in the car on the way home.
Eddie dropped in particularly early that night with soup. "I had a feeling," he'd said.
And now here he is again the day after.
"At least one of us is enjoying this," you say.
"You think I'm enjoying this?" Eddie asks.
You give his precautionary outfit a once over. "Yes."
"This is just something I had lying around."
"Shut up! Shut up, no it wasn't!" You're voice cracks, giggly and giddy even with the spikes of pain to your tender head.
"It was. We did a campaign, I was a plague doctor-"
"That is in terrible taste."
"It was perfectly appropriate, thank you very much. You're determined to vilify me. Need to slow down with the cold medicine, I think."
You shriek as he tries to take the bottle. "No! No, please, my throat hurts."
He takes the bottle. It is a hurtful defeat. You curl your fingers around nothing and sulk, slouching down into a sanctuary of pillows and blankets to hide from him. Extra pillows provided by Eddie. With fresh covers, duh. They smell like him anyway. You turn your nose into it indulgently.
"You've had too much to safely be responsible for any further consumption."
"Further consumption," you echo, eyes closing in defeat as he leaves.
"You okay, June?" you hear him ask, voice occluded partially by the sound of the TV.
"Okay, Eddie?" she asks.
You grin to yourself.
"I'm great. This looks very fun. I'm gonna make mom a cold pack for her head and then you can help me make dinner, okay? Does that sound fun? Tell me, June."
The 'Tell me, June,' isn't a command so much as a gentle reminder that she can answer the question if she wants to.
"Fun," she says.
"Hey, great. Oh, thank you. Thank you."
They better not be cuddling without me, you think bitterly, grin swiftly replaced by a self-pitying frown.
You cough into your hand, roil in your own misery for a second and then grab the big glass of water Eddie had insisted on from the night stand. You tip it down yourself in your hurry.
"Missed your mouth," Eddie says, appearing at exactly the wrong moment.
"Don't baby me."
He pads into the room with a cold pack wrapped in a hand towel. "For your head."
"This is silly. I don't need to be in bed."
"Obviously you do. You're sick, did you notice? Stupid question," he adds regretfully, gesturing for you to lie back. He sets the pack to your forehead. "You wouldn't notice a hole in your stomach. You'd be dripping entrails in the freezer aisle wondering if Junie wants corn on the cob or mashed potato with dinner tonight."
"What does she want for dinner tonight?"
"Boo! Exactly my point."
"I'm gonna go ask her-"
Eddie puts an unapologetic hand in the middle of your chest and pushes down. "You will do no such thing." He lowers his face to yours. "I'm willing to get physical. So behave."
You flush with heat because you're sick and not because he says it a certain way, dropping back down into your fluffed pillows without another word.
Eddie's hand climbs up to your collar, your neck. His fingers slide one after another behind it. It's a blessed cold. You can't find a comfortable temperature today, moving between chills and hot flashes at the drop of a hat.
Or a bandana. Eddie unties the dark fabric from his neck and leaves it where it lands, staring at you without saying anything.
His thumb presses into your sore throat carefully, the barest hint of pressure, and his lips part. He doesn't say anything for a while. It looks like he wants to.
"Do me a favour?" he asks finally.
"Of course." Anything to feel useful right now.
"Take it easy." He again lowers his head, talking to you with a private smile. "The sooner you chill out, the sooner you'll beat this thing."
"Don't say that. Like I have something serious."
"The sooner you'll beat this moderate-"
"Mild-"
"-affliction." He strokes quarter-circles into your neck.
"I don't need to lie down. There's things I have to do."
"On a Saturday?"
"Yes. There's things I need to do everyday." You clear your throat. It's useless, the lump remains and your voice stays scratchy. "I have- I always have laundry. So that first. Gotta wash it and put it out and bring it in and press it. I gotta make sure Junie has lunch for daycare this week 'n if she doesn't I have to go get it, I gotta," — you cover his hand with your own thoughtlessly — "make sure her rash is getting better. And I promised we'd do a tea party tomorrow, I have to make sandwiches!"
"We both know she doesn't remember the tea party."
"I promised."
"And if I… If I tried to get all those things done, would you stay in bed?"
"You can't."
"But if I tried it? I can do laundry. I'm good at it. Get oil stains out of Wayne's coveralls every Sunday."
You slump into a lump of sadness and achy arms. "Don't do my laundry. Don't do any of that stuff. I'll punch you if you do."
Eddie bursts into laughter. "You'll punch me? You horrible woman."
"I will," you promise, fingers curling around his arm to hold him in place.
"Why don't I believe you?"
"I don't know. 'Cos you're a know-it-all who dislikes me."
"I far from dislike you." He grins at you, all dimpled and pretty. "I don't believe you'd hit me because I know you, idiot."
"Name-calling."
"Uh-huh. Are you sleeping or am I helping you out onto the couch?"
While you're happy for the compromise, you have one problem. "I don't think I can move."
Eddie lets his face fall amicably to your collar. "No, I bet you can't. More reason for me to get you on the couch. I think you've genuinely had too much cough syrup," he worries, warm breath fanning over your skin.
You bring your spare hand to his head. He has so many curls.
He lifts his head and you're close enough to kiss. There's no other reason anyone has ever been this close.
"I can see your beauty mark," you say, hushed. You don't wanna breathe on him too much.
"Freckle."
"Your freckle." You lift and drop his curls, fingers toying through the softness towards his roots, the frizz at the ends.
"You- You smell like fucking cherry syrup."
You abandon his hair to clap a hand over your mouth. "I'm sorry."
He covers his own mouth. "It's okay," he says, similarly muffled. "I like the sweet stuff."
What the fuck does that mean? Your stomach doesn't flip — it leaps right up into your throat. "You're an idiot," you breathe, caught off guard.
"What was that?" he asks, taking away his hand. "Didn't catch it."
"I said, 'You're an-"
"Amazing friend and confidante?"
You try to talk and he says, "A real stand-up guy?"
You try again and he says, "A total rockstar? Baby, if you really think all this you should've said."
You flop completely onto your back, away from his hands, his jokes and his lovely brown eyes where they bore into your own. Eddie hums and rubs brashly over the top of your arm until the skin glows with heat.
"Please stay in bed," Eddie says as he stands.
Medicine or his touch, you're feeling pretty tired. You pull up your blankets and sink like a stone, head disappearing into a mess of pillows and throws.
-
It's much later when you wake. You move into the land of the living abrupt as whiplash.
Eddie seems very sorry. "Sweetheart, June's past due for a new diaper, and I-"
"Oh, right," you say, sounding much more alert than you feel. You're a girl made of sandpaper.
"I would've, I mean. If it wouldn't make you uncomfortable, I would've tried. But I've never changed a diaper in my life."
You scratch your flaky eyes, disorientated and head like a boiling saucepan with the lid glued on.
"That's okay," you say. Your voice refuses to cooperate with you, gruff and too quiet. "It wouldn't bother me, but it's also not your job, so… Um." You yawn wide and cover your entire face.
You spend a minute rubbing your eyes.
"Fuck, what time's it?" you ask, squinting at him and bringing your hands to either side of your face.
"Like, seven. Ish."
"Eddie…"
"I know. I thought you could use the rest. I knew you could. And it's not urgent, you know? Come around, first. Everything's stellar."
You peel back the sheets. You're a clammy, too-hot mess with weak legs.
Eddie sees you wobble and rushes to wrap an arm around your waist. Completely unnecessarily, heart-achingly kind. You wince at the dampness of your shirt under his touch.
Junie sits on the couch in her jammies with a yellow-green soup stain down the front. She's propped up like a princess, a pillow behind her head between the armrest and her blanket covering her legs, cheek pressed to the cushions. Eyes trained on the TV and her bottle propped in a slackening grip, your baby is peaceful, near luxurious.
Only a little wiggle might suggest she's uncomfortable.
You part from Eddie's side and sit down beside her, the seat warm. She doesn't even look up.
"What, no hi for mom?" you ask tenderly, hand falling to the top of her head. She's lovely.
She gasps, little lungs fit to burst. It's pure excitement, her bottle dislodged and the blanket pushed away immediately. She doesn't bother getting to her feet, throwing herself into your lap and assuming you'll do the rest. Of course you will. You pull her up and kiss the top of her head, though you quickly hold her at arm's length.
"Sorry, mommy's still sick," you tell her, sympathetic at her crushed expression.
"Mis'd," she says.
"Yeah? You missed me?" you ask hopefully.
Her lips part in comprehension. "Missed you," she confirms.
You throw your gaze over your shoulder to Eddie. He stands by Junie's changing station with a smug smile. "What?"
"You're not very convincing."
"I'm not trying to convince you, thanks," he says, holding up two hands in surrender.
"She didn't learn that herself," you argue.
"She might've. You tell her enough."
You go back to your girl, pleased at her own smug smile. "I missed you, too, I missed you so much. Missed you millions. Sorry I've been sleeping all day, you've been such a good girl. She has, hasn't she?"
Eddie sorts through a nearly empty bag of diapers and brandishes one with fish printed on the back. "Oh, yeah. Junebug's been amazing. She came in with me to see you earlier, took your temperature." You frown. "From a distance. Kind of. I held her above you. It was… acrobatic."
You close your eyes at his absurdity, your laugh prompting another spike of pain.
Junie forces herself closer and gets both arms around your neck.
You sag into the contact, defeated. "Aw, June," you mumble ruefully. "M'trying to make sure you don't get sick too. Wasting my time."
"Mommy," she says into your neck.
"That's me."
You know she has something she wants to say. You can't wait for the days where she can. Exciting, to think that one day she'll be able to share all of her thoughts.
Right now, she's probably thinking, Woah, mom, you smell weird. And you look weirder.
You feel her back with your hand and cringe. Definitely time to get her changed.
Afterward, you sit with your back to the open front door on one of the porch steps. Physical exertion of any kind seems to be inadvisable; you're sweating up a storm. Junie sits beside you at her own insistence, her hand clasped in your hand and her head on your arm. You look down at her thighs next to your own and marvel at their small size. The evening breeze is a blessing.
Eddie stands in front of you with his backpack slung over his shoulder and a checklist.
"Tea party sandwiches are badly made and saran wrapped in the fridge. Junie doesn't have lunch for Monday but I can go tomorrow if you want me to. Her clothes are folded in the hamper. Uh, some stuff got left out, you might need to press them. Not tonight though, please."
"Thank you."
He talks around a smile. "Soup's on the stove. I'll come back later, if-"
"You don't have to."
"I want to. I wouldn't actually leave, but-"
"Eddie-" You cough into your shoulder. He waits for you to finish. "You- You didn't have to take care of me."
"What does that mean? Of course I did."
He hikes his backpack higher up his shoulder and pads back up the steps, not all of them but enough for him to lean down and stare at Junie.
"Thanks for the best day ever," he says seriously, looking out of the corner of his eye at you. "Almost. See you later?"
Junie nods voraciously and reaches up with her empty hand. Eddie takes it and kisses her temple. He does the same to you, lips brushing soft as downy-feather over your skin.
"I'll come back around ten? Is that cool?"
"Don't knock too loudly," you mumble, very aware of his proximity.
He backs up and bows like an idiot, hand moving in circles.
You and Junie wave him off.
"To work?" Junie asks.
Your eyebrows jump as you pull your gaze from his retreating figure. "Huh?"
"To work?"
You play with her fingers. "No, he's not going to work. He's going to take care of someone else, now."
Wayne, Eddie said, in a fondly exasperated tone that explained everything you needed to know. His uncle's self-preservation must come in similar disinterest to himself as yours does to you.
"We'll see him tomorrow," you say. It's not even a lie, you will both see him tomorrow.
But apparently he's coming back tonight.
-
True to his word, Eddie Munson knocks your door carefully at nearing ten o'clock.
Wayne's dismissal chases his heels. He'd spent an hour worrying about you at the dinner table with his uncle, fingers curling anxiously in his hair.
Wayne had been talking about some gab the boys in the shop had heard about killer mice or killer lice or something when he'd suddenly cleared his throat and snapped Eddie to attention.
"You're a good kid. Notice how I said good, and not smart," Wayne had said.
"Gee, thanks. You always did know how to make a guy feel loved, Wayne."
"You don't wanna be here."
Eddie had frowned. "Obviously I do."
"Kid, what I mean is, you gotta," — he'd nodded his head hard to one side and raised his eyebrows — "you know."
"Haven't brushed up on my mysterious gestures lately. Translate that one for me?"
Wayne had flicked up his newspaper and sighed. "Don't be dumb."
"You keep saying that."
"You keep being dumb, boy."
"I don't know what you want me to do."
"Think you better go look after your girl, don't you?" Wayne had asked finally, clearing his throat.
So here he is to look after you. A tad early, worried you'll be sleeping on the couch with a misbehaving baby in your lap or passed out in the bathroom after an impromptu cleaning.
Thankfully, you open the door in different clothes than he'd left you in, the neckline dark with run-off and face damp under your eyes and by your ears. You dab at your tacky skin with your index knuckle.
"You look better," he says. He wishes he could take it back instantly, though you don't take any offence.
"Hot shower," you explain.
You step back to let him in. Eddie closes the door behind him without turning, eyes glued to your fresh face. He's depressed by the lingering fatigue he finds lining your darling features.
"You okay?" you ask him, perturbed by his silence.
Eddie's better than okay.
He steps close. You look like you might step back, make room for him he doesn't want, so he reaches out for your face and holds it in one hand, the other landing in tandem on your arm.
Your cheek lists into his hand as he wipes away what's left of the dampness on your face. He's not sure you know you're doing it.
"Did you take any more medicine?" he asks quietly, rubbing under your eye carefully with the tip of his thumb.
"No, I- I think you fixed me, Munson. Me and Junie had your soup, and after a shower I felt way better. It was really nice. She slept easy."
He presses the back of his hand to your forehead. "You don't feel too hot."
"Like I said. Fixed me. My hero."
He looks over your shoulder at your life — at his life, or at least where a majority of it seems to take place. All his favourite parts these days happen right there on your couch, or at that table, or knee to knee with a baby that isn't his but- but-
"You said that to me the first time we met," Eddie recalls, shaking his head. It's like there's water in his ears. A few strands of hair drift into his eyes.
You catch his elbows in both hands. "It feels like a really long time ago now."
Months. Only months. "I feel like I've known you for years."
He strokes over your face, chin to cheek, the tip of his thumb pressed to the corner of your mouth.
"That's how I feel, too," you whisper. Utter. Hushed, your words ring loud anyway. "You're my best friend."
Eddie doesn't take it for a door closing because it isn't. It's a door kicked wide open. Split on its hinges. You and Eddie stand on equal ground, and, for once, the same page.
"You know I don't mind taking care of you?" he asks, hand passing over your ear to hide behind it. He wants to see all of your face.
Predictably, you drop your eyes to his neck, pupils wobbling as you search for somewhere to plant yourself. "I know. I'm not sure I deserve it."
"Why wouldn't you deserve it? Everyone deserves taking care of."
"Even murderers?"
"Maybe not murderers-"
"The evil guys from your game? Necromancers?"
"They're not all evil." His left palm skirts up the curve of your neck, encouraging your face back to his. "Don't change the subject."
You press your lips together, caught.
"I actually…" — he gathers as much bravery as he has — "want to take care of you."
"You do."
He holds your face in both hands. "You know you- You know you started it, right? You know it's- that without your-" He cringes internally at his stammering, but he has to get this part right. "You have gold where your heart should be."
"Y/N The Golden Hearted. Doesn't have the best ring to it," you muse, hands clinging to the crooks of his elbows like twin pooled teardrops waiting to fall.
Eddie stares at you, floored.
"What about you?"
"What about me?" he asks.
"What's your name?" you demand, grinning.
"Eddie the Subtle. Munson the Mad."
You huff a laugh. "That's a cop-out."
"Maybe."
"How about…" The air feels thick as jelly. Light from under the bedroom door stops short of your legs, your toes almost touching. His rubber soles, your socks. "Eddie the Indomitable?"
He crinkles his nose. "I'd almost think you were trying to flirt with me, that's how bad that is."
Your blinks are slow. Your eyes soften.
"What if I was?" you ask.
A stock-still silence pervades, filled only by the hum of the refrigerator and the droning of the bathroom light, left on. He could tell you the contents of this room by its sounds alone.
His hand moves of its own accord, up and down the slope of your neck. "I'd say you needed a better pick up line."
"Like what?" you ask, chest rising too fast.
Eddie takes a step and feels his jacket zipper cut into the cotton of your shirt. It's your matching band t-shirt.
Eddie drags his gaze slowly to your widened eyes, your lashes as they move almost imperceptibly upward. Taking him in as he inches closer.
"You're so fucking pretty," he says.
He leans in. He closes the gap. Eddie Munson takes the leap.
Your hand comes quickly to his upper arm and you turn your face just enough to force his lips, his kiss landing a centimetre shy of your nose.
He struggles to keep his eyes closed. His heart thrums like a blown amp.
"You can't kiss me," you say. Eddie struggles to discern your tone.
His nose presses to yours. Not desperately, but almost. "I can't?" he asks, throat thick with emotion, a stickying, cloying taffy.
"I'll make you sick."
He turns your face with his palm, lips hovering above yours, a hair's width. Close enough to feel their heat.
"Can I trust you'll nurse me back to health, in the event that that happens?" Would you take care of me? His hands tremble where they're touching you. He's too scared to open his eyes.
You don't answer.
You cover his hands and the seconds stretch endlessly, a thousand moments of terror and pining and want suddenly flattened into one as you kiss him.
He exhales against you. His relief is a palpable, viscous thing as he pulls you in and his nose digs into yours. Lips soft as he'd imagined, as he'd known they'd be, you kiss back tentatively. Sweetly.
You're kissing him like he's something that needs a careful touch.
Eddie screws his eyes shut tight enough to see stars, firecrackers, a shattering bouquet of colours as you move beneath him. He can't believe he's kissing you. He can't believe there was a time where he wasn't.
He yields, leaning back just enough to see your face. You keep your eyes shut, your eyelashes kissing the delicate skin beneath. They move like blades of grass in the breeze as Eddie tries to catch his breath, regaining some of his composure. It's hard while he's here, this close.
You make a small sound, a breath like a barb. The shaky demarcation of tears.
"Okay?" he asks, more movement than sound. His lips skip over your own.
You have to feel it.
A laugh bubbles up through your parted lips like a hiccup. "I'm definitely gonna make you sick," you mumble regretfully.
"Make me sick, sweetheart," he says, begs. Whatever.
Whatever word you want to use. He doesn't care if he pays for it afterwards, he wants to be close to you now, unapologetically close. And kissing you — kissing you like this, your reciprocation, it's everything because it means you feel the same as he does.
Or a fraction the same. He's reassured either way. If you felt a fraction of what he felt, that's enough.
It's a lot. To be touching you, finally. He grabs at the nape of your neck and kisses, kisses, kisses. He goes slowly, not quite sweetly. He's never been as sweet as you have, never as soft or patient.
It doesn't feel like it matters.
You pull his hands from your face, press his and your own, all four hands to the collar of your shirt.
"It wasn't just a, uh, pick up line, was it?" you ask breathlessly.
"Wh- No." Eddie massages the back of your hands. "No, you're the fucking prettiest girl ever. I think you're aces. Killer. Everything."
"Everything," you say, an almost indecipherable glassiness to your eyes.
"Everything," he says. He spreads his hand over your heart.
You don't throw yourself at him, but you move alarmingly quickly. Arms over his shoulders, hands crossed and buried in his hair. Your laugh is magic, a bright and exuberant sound loud in his ear and then the skin underneath. He's barely got an arm around the small of your back when you start to kiss him, repetitive, chaste pecks over his pulse. It capers under your lips.
"I don't know what kind of girl you think I am-" He begins deadpan and breaks abruptly, your second wave of laughter impossible to ignore.
Your arms tighten at his laughing, palm cupping the back of his head.
"You're my best friend, too," he says. "But you knew that."
"Maybe," you murmur, your smile wide against his skin. You're uncharacteristically mischievous.
He lets his back bend under your weight until your heels lift and you're scrabbling to stay on your own two feet and is rewarded by your shrieking laughter.
Oh, god, he thinks, ecstatic.
"Wait," you say, bargaining for freedom as he squeezes you hard enough to make you laugh again, and again, "wait, wait! Wait, let go. I have something to tell you."
Eddie sets you down. He's reluctant to let you go, almost desperate to hug you now that he knows he can, but his curiosity gets the better of him. What could you have to tell him now that isn't confessional? It's like being promised something good.
You stand sure and sweet in front of him.
"It's…" You look shyly at his lips.
"What?"
"I…"
He shakes his head gently from side to side. "What? Tell me."
"Nothing," you say, beaming. Act dropped, you take his face into both hands and kiss him soundly.
Eddie's barely got his hands on you before you're pulling back.
"Just wanted to do that," you say.
𓆩❤︎𓆪
thank you for reading! | my masterlist | this fic is multi-chapter
if you enjoyed (i I really hope you did), please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡
I hope every writer who sees this writes LOADS the next few months. Like freetime opens up, no writers block, the ability to focus, etc etc you're able to write loads & make lots of progress <3
1) the amount of time that went into considering this approach, which is a resounding 0.00 seconds
2) the baby's screm - yes it's sad bc the poor lil guy is scared but the way his yells for momma hitch with the guy's running have me lmao ngl
3) the guy either had the incredible good fortune or the foresight to put the baby between himself and momma so he could make a break for it. it was too quick. Too deliberate and almost instinctive. He has done this before.
4) the victory skips and turban twirling.
10/10 but please for the love of god there has to be a better way camels kick people to death
i feel like we're ignoring an important scientific fact, which is that this guy grabbed, at the minimum, 35 kilograms of terrified baby camel and did a fucking 6-second olympic sprint while being chased by, wikipedia informs me, 300-540 kilograms of angry adult camel.
Did you hear that they finally got that statue of Nathaniel Bedford Forrest in Nashville taken down?
YES
I'M SO HAPPY
THANK. THE. GODS.
A bit of explanation for my luckier followers who had the good fortune to never see this utter nightmare:
This 25-foot statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest stood along the main highway into and out of Nashville, Tennessee (my hometown) for more than 20 years.
What is Nathan Bedford Forrest famous for? Oh, you know- founding the KKK in 1865.
And for two decades, we had this abhorrent racist monster welcoming visitors to our city. To be clear, this was not a public monument- a man who owned land next to the Interstate commissioned it and placed it there himself. That's also why nothing could be done about it, despite pretty much every single Nashvillian loathing it with a burning passion. It was on private land, whose owner was not only heinously bigoted, but a gun nut. I read an interview with him once. This thing had surveillance cameras that he monitored obsessively, and he was perfectly willing to shoot trespassers.
(Not to mention, while the bigger issue by far is the symbolism...it's an UGLY statue. John Oliver described it as "like a nickel did cocaine;" as a kid, I called it the Muppet Shakespeare Statue.)
The city once petitioned the state for permission to plant a screening hedge on the public land in front of the statue. In a move that pretty much exemplifies Nashville's relationship with the state government, the state said that would be infringing on AssaultRifle McLostCause's freedom of speech.
Yeah.
Fortunately, earlier this year, he died. No, I do not feel bad speaking well of the death of someone who venerated the founder of the KKK. The man lived to be 83 anyway, and died a multimillionaire. The city waited with baited breath to see what his heirs would do with the statue.
And.
Today.
IT. CAME. DOWN.
Expect dancing in the streets of Nashville tonight, my friends.
but there will be no prophesying, speculating, speaking into existence, etc about next year
no “I feel really great about next year,” no “I’d love more time at home to work on my hobbies,” no “surely it can’t be any weirder than 2020,” nothing
Not quite. This is Yakutian Chys Khan, Ded Moroz’s northern “brother”. Russian Federation is a melting pot of different cultures, it’s not just slavs, don’t forget that.
wow, don’t forget Snegurochka, his daughter, the snow maiden, who always accompanies him. She has a beautifuk kokoshnik crown that is essentially a big snowflake
jacobvanloon
