Life is like a drunk scavenger hunt

We're all looking for things, but we keep falling over our own feet trying to find them

[loucifersbitch]

if you need me, i’ll be sobbing on the floor. humans, man

[balimaria]

I just really love how human this mission feels. Both the crew and the ground making fun jokes and references ("amaze, amaze, amaze!") or things like Glover saying "hello baby!" to his family back on Earth, or how "moon joy" has become the team's favorite phrase, or those craters being named "Integrity" and "Carroll," or the astronauts being encouraged to describe how seeing the moon makes them feel (and doing so to a moving degree), and also describing how much working and talking together improves their capabilities on all fronts, and both sides constantly telling each other how excited they are and that there's "smiles all around" Not that missions like Apollo never had stuff like this, but it's different hearing it all live. Wonderful experience all around.

[vigilante-apologist]

"average critical role character fucks 3 people a day" factoid actualy just statistical error. average critical role character fucks 0 people per day. Fuck Julien, who lives in Fuck Castle & fucks over 115 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[retroactivebakeries]

favorite word?

It’s good to have fancy, ornate, five-dollar words like opalescence or intaglio, and it’s good to have simple practical words, like smack or door or blaze, but the best word, the most important and most useful word, is fuck

[notbecauseofvictories]

my sewing machine does exactly one thing, and yet every single time I try to sew something with it I feel like I've put my baby in the pelican's mouth. over and over again.

[notbecauseofvictories]

sewing Machine perfec t for sewing straight l/ines! machine very Accurate and Level lines so so straight so easy to use Sewing Machine. Sew Straight Lines with Sewing Machine. no problems ever in macchine because good Shape and Whir noise for fast fast lines. Asewing Machine yes a place for making straight lines sewing lines can trust sewing machina for giveing good love to fabric. friend sewing machine

[catoswound-moved]

you cant even begin poems with "i will sodomise and facef uck you" anymore. because of woke .

[queixumes]

[unquietgravekeeper]

Holy fuck

[foone]

[six31]

I vaguely recall discourse about the dictionary pulling it's punches when it came to writing the definition for whatever latin verb means 'face-fuck' because 'to be the recipient of oral sex' is clean and true but doesn't come close enough to describing what the word means.

[foone]

Yeah, Catullus gets censored a lot! I suspect a bit of it is just that we often get this idea of poets and poetry as... Light and fluffy?

Probably just because of what gets taught in schools. You end up getting the impression that a poems are about one of

Being sad

Walking through nature

Being sad whilst walking through nature.

Which is a slightly reductive take on a whole fucking medium.

Anyway, Catullus was less the stereotypical "upper class guy with a lot of education who loves nature and being depressed" sort of poet and is more to the "battle rapper" end of poetry.

He's got multiple poems that are basically diss tracks. This is exactly why Poem 16 (this one) comes straight out the gate with "I AM GOING TO BUTTFUCK AND FACEFUCK YOU" (lowercase letters wouldn't be developed for a few hundred more years, by definition everything Catullus wrote was in ALL UPPERCASE): Catullus is directing this poem at Marcus Furius Bibaculus (Bibaculus to his friends), who had an affair with Juventius: a woman Catullus had a (possibly unrequited) love for. In fact, this sort of reputation is part of what Catullus is saying. He's like "oh, you think I'm some weak pansy faggot because I'm a poet? Let's see how you feel after I shove my huge* manly dick up all your holes, bitch."

Anyway the whole reason I was supposed to be replying is to talk about how Latin is an amazing language to swear in. They've got some very fun words like irrumo, ittumare which means basically "to fuck someone's mouth", but in a single word. Face-fuck is really the best translation English has, and that's two words.

Plus Latin is an infected language! He didn't just say "face fuck", he said the first person singular future active indicative of "face fuck".

Irrumabo is a single word that packs all this info into its infected form. It's not just "what" (face fucking), it's who and when and how.

Who: me, singular. "We" are not going to face fuck you, I, personally, and going to face fuck you.

When: in the future. This is a thing that's going to happen. Latin has multiple moods for this, the indicative, imperative, and subjunctive.

He doesn't use the subjunctive, which'd mean "I hope I facefuck you: it'd be great if someday I get to face fuck you".

He doesn't use the imperative, which is for stating commands. He's not saying "get facefucked, idiot".

He uses the indicative. This is for stating facts. He's saying this as just a thing that will happen. As surely as the sun will rise tomorrow... I will facefuck you.

It's also active not passive, which means it's not "you will be facefucked by me". It's active, meaning it's "I am going to facefuck you".

The word is also derived from the word for teats? As in, it meant something like suckling?

Catullus is saying you're going to suck his cock like a baby feeding from their mother, and he's going to make you do this. This is just a thing that is going to happen.

And he says that all in ONE SINGLE WORD.

Latin is a lovely language for this sort of thing.

(there's also a lot of fascinating stuff about the second line of the poem: he calls Aurelius as pathicus, and Furius a cinaedus. These mean slightly different things! Translating them as "cocksucker" and "butt boy" is definitely one way to do it, but there's more to say about this, but this post is already way too long)

Anyway, while "first poet to ever get his bone on" is highly inaccurate (Sappho was centuries earlier! You think a woman who was so gay she gave us two of our words for WLW didn't BONE?), he definitely was one of the poets who most noticeably Absolutely Fucked and he made sure you knew it.

* he wouldn't have said "huge", this is a localization for our culture. The ancient romans thought big dicks were ugly, unrefined, and comical. (They borrowed this from the ancient greeks, incidentally)

[stereotype-embodier]

I must know if the original Latin was also written in a dick shape

[foone]

sadly not. Latin has a lot of fun tricks you can do with word order (because it's inflected, you can move words around for emphasis) and typography, but it wasn't penis-shaped originally.

that's a good way to localize it to english, though. Catullus 16 is 100% a poem about how Big* Catullus's dick is. * metaphorically, you understand. He's say he's got Big Dick Energy, not a literally big dick, because that wouldn't have worked for his culture.

[the-real-seebs]

That day, Aurelius was amazed to discover that when Catullus was saying "pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo", what he meant was, "I love you."

[aetherograph]

oh! I know what cinaedus means! That's from Greek too, Kinaidos! I would have translated that as 'faggot' or really the older term 'queen', or any of the words that are 'effette (derogatory)': pansy, fairy, pouf, etc. For this I'd probably pick 'faggot' though because it's got the same level of derogatory and aggressive sounds.

But yeah, kinaidos meant basically the receptive partner, which was the bad partner to be. the Greeks and Romans were very specific about 'it's not bad as long as you are doing the penetrating', though I think the Greeks had a specific thing about like... sucking cock was submissive? That might have just been one city state or something, I do not remember where I found that information.

Kinaidos (sorry I don't know how to plural it. Kinaides?) are described in at least one source as wearing white, thigh-high leather boots, though.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

are you telling me that mr. sky walker's chanel boots have historical precedent

[yet-another-clown]

onwards, comrades

[archouai]

[gnar-slabdash]

hey honest question, did anybody have GOOD stuff happen to them in 2024? cause it was really bad for me and for most people i know, so it would be nice to hear about anything that's been going WELL for any of you. even if it's small stuff. just to know there's light out there.

[rotulus]

Took the scary social leap in April and started going to social nights at my local branch of the SCA, and then to events starting in July. I’ve since spent a number of really fun days learning new skills, making new friends, watching some cool demos and duals, and working with a lot of amazing, kind and talented individuals to makes these events happen.

I now have a whole community of people (that leans very heavily to the neurodivergent and, in my area, queer) that I didn’t even know existed this time last year, all engaged in a big connected hobby of history, and making cool things.

[phantomrose96]

Cant have fucking shit in Detroit

[phantomrose96]

[phantomrose96]

Cant have shit

[phantomrose96]

Okay so door saga

The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There's a back entrance but it's deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.

The door to MY unit now... has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.

There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.

This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors' unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.

Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won't be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.

Text neighbor about predicament. They're willing to look at my door bUT (it's Christmas) they're not home and not getting home until the next day.

Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren't attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying "okay if I don't hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?" (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)

Catsitter is very not keen on the idea

Patches is unaware she's a prisoner.

Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.

Okay... Good Enough... (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn't missed any meals but we're going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).

6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.

8:30pm I'm figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn't go through.

Text neighbor's partner being like "hey sorry, can't seem to reach Molly--". Get a text back "Sorry this is Molly on David's phone! My phone died." Family Christmas plans ran late but they're on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.

9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text "David fixed your door!" Woo!

Friday 5pm I finally get home

Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child

Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob

...Doorknob falls off

Falls off right into my hands

Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.

Fucking

Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David's door. David is luckily home. "My doorknob fell off again can I go home"

David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn't even notice because I'm like my cat.

Get in through the back hall.

Patches comes bounding over.

My cat.

Doesn't even know she was a prisoner.

Doesn't even know what a doorknob is.

Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I'm like "I Did Not Even Notice."

Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.

Can't even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.

I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it's not worth the risk

I'm gonna try to fix the doorknob

Or... buy? a new doorknob?

On Amazon searching "doorknob".

Merry Christmas

[phantomrose96]

You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.

There is a Home Depot trip in my future. Or maybe an online purchase if Patches would get off my laptop

[phantomrose96]

Merry Christmas I hope I know how to install a doorknob

[phantomrose96]

Complication. Doorknob is here and I tried to install it, but because my door is older than God, the latch-majig (technical term) is offset like an inch higher than the knob. Modern doorknob has the latch LEVEL with the knob.

To swap in the new knob I'd need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which

With what tools

That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don't need fucking Redwall in my home.

Probably bad for the integrity of the door

I don't wanna.

I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it's got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.

I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door...?

(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don't have the two spokes)

(I think the two spokes might be standard.)

Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).

In the meantime, because I'd already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.

This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.

Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.

I'm retightening all the screws.

Patches has offered no solutions.

[phantomrose96]

So it does!

Never heard the term "spindle doorknob" before so I never would have found this on my own.

They're also all labeled "vintage" which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.

Crowdsourcing my door fix on Tumblr dot com! Doorknob 2.0 is ordered.

[phantomrose96]

At least 4,000 but we still got time

[phantomrose96]

New doorknob should get here tomorrow, but in the meantime things in the notes of this post:

Several dozen stories of other people getting locked in/out of bathrooms/basements/classrooms/bedrooms/buildings. Extra shout out to the person whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid4reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesdweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Patches is on my keyboard

whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid succession, to both sides of a classroom door after being saved the first time.

Several people taking this as a sign to go tighten their doorknob screws, including someone whose knob fell off in their hands while doing this

10 or so people reading the "can't have shit in Detroit" meme to mean I live in Detroit. Sorry to confess I'm a fake Detroitite. Doxxing myself by 0.00001% more by informing the world I live in not-Detroit.

Many many people wondering why I'm not pestering my landlord about this. Truth is my landlord is way too sexy, cool, fashionable, smart, pretty, funny, and popular on Tumblr to it's me. It's me. I'm me I'm my landlord. It's my condo. Including, with immense regret, every single doorknob inside.

3 separate professional locksmiths who have reached out offering advice, which is very cool. I have burst into a virtual hardware store clutching my shit doorknob and fainted, only to be caught by three very strong and cool locksmiths rushing to my aid.

Person with a story of dogsitting a friend's Tibetan Mastiff who managed to knock the entire backdoor down. Taking inspiration from this to train Patches in battering-ram techniques, should she ever get locked inside again.

[phantomrose96]

[phantomrose96]

DOORKNOB

ALSO MY PAPER TOWELS

(Ran out of paper towels)

Old knob coming off.

Wretched thing. Accursed knob of woe.

Get undid

New knob reign by forceful coup. Went to great pains to PRECISELY wait Patches is escaping

Patches retrieved

Anyway GREAT care was taken to ensure both knobs are ALIGNED, EVEN, SCREWED ON, with the wait hang on

Patches retrieved again.

Anyway

DOORKNOB SCREWED ON

KNOB

Still gonna keep the emergency screwdriver in the hall for probably the next month.

[phantomrose96]

In conclusion look at my cat

[certified-door-posts]

certified door post

[mikkeneko]

Frodo Laid a Geas (and other invisible magic)

This was so obvious when I realized it, but I think most people miss it, because we’re so desensitized by D&D-style magic with immediate, visibly, flashy effects, rather than more subtle and invisible forces of magic. When Gollum attacks Frodo on the slopes of Mount Doom, Frodo has the chance to kill him, but he doesn’t. Instead, he says:

Frodo: Go! And if you ever lay hands on me again, you yourself shall be cast into the Fire!

Frodo’s not just talking shit here. He is literally, magically laying a curse. He’s holding the One Ring in his hands as he says it; even Sam, with no magic powers of his own, can sense that some powerful mojo is being laid down. Frodo put a curse on Gollum: if you try to take the Ring again, you’ll be cast into the Fire.

Five pages later, Gollum tries to take the Ring again. And that’s exactly what happens. Frodo’s geas takes effect and Gollum eats lava.

[mikkeneko]

On further reflection:

All the other people in the franchise who were offered the Ring declined to take it because they were wise enough to know that if they used its power – and the pressure to do so would be too great – they would be subject to its corruption.

Frodo uses the power of the Ring to lay a geas, and then five minutes later at the volcano’s edge, succumbs to its corruption. The Ring has gotten to him and he can no longer give it up. Because he used its power.

[mikkeneko]

On further further reflection: I’d have to read the section again, but I recall that after throwing Gollum off and laying the geas, Sam observes that Frodo seems suddenly filled with energy again when previously he had been close to dead of fatigue. He hikes up the mountain so fast he leaves Sam behind – and doesn’t even seem to notice that he’s left him behind. 

Could he have been drawing on the Ring’s power at this point in the story? At this point in the story we’re relying on Sam’s narration, and Sam doesn’t know what’s going on in Frodo’s head, so it’s hard to say for sure. Having used it once, after spending so long holding out against it, was that the breach in the dam?

Which means that the moment that Frodo succumbs to temptation is not the moment at the volcano – it was already too late by then. The moment he is taken by temptation was when he used the power of the Ring to repel Gollum.

If so, this ties in neatly with discussions I’ve seen about how Tolkien subscribes to a “not even once” view of good and evil – that in many other works it’s acceptable to do a small evil in service of a greater good, but in Lord of the Rings that always  fails.

[mikkeneko]

Re-reading Fellowship of the Rings, and I got to this passage in Lorien:

‘I would ask one thing before we go,’ said Frodo, ‘a thing which I often meant to ask Gandalf in Rivendell. I am permitted to wear the One Ring: why cannot I see all the others and know the thoughts of those that wear them?’

‘You have not tried,’ [Galadriel] said. ‘Only thrice have you set the Ring upon your finger since you knew what you possessed. Do not try! It would destroy you. Did not Gandalf tell you that the rings give power according to the measure of each possessor? Before you could use that power you would need to become stronger, and to train your will to the domination of others.’

In other words:

Frodo asks Galadriel, herself carrying a Ring of Power, “Could I, hypothetically, use the power of the One Ring to do something magical aside from turning invisible?” and Galadriel replies, “Yes, hypothetically, you totally could, assuming the magic you want to do involves laying compulsions on others, but I strongly recommend against it, because it would fuck up your brain.”

This was in the first book. At the end of the third book Frodo uses the Ring to fuck Gollum up, forcing him to throw himself into lava if he disobeys Frodo’s commands.

Talk about a chekov’s gun.

[mikkeneko]

Got to this point in my re-read and uh. This was a lot  less subtle than I remembered it.

‘Down, down!’ [Frodo] gasped, clutching his hand to his breast, so that beneath the cover of his leather shirt he clasped the Ring. ‘Down, you creeping thing, and out of my path! Your time is at an end. You cannot slay me or betray me now.’

Then suddenly, Sam saw these two rivals with other vision. A crouching shape, scarcely more than the shadow of a living thing, a creature now wholly ruined and defeated, yet filled with a hideous lust and rage; and before it stood stern, untouchable now by pity, a figure robed in white, but at its breast it held a wheel of fire. Out of the fire there spoke a commanding voice.

‘Begone, and trouble me no more! If you touch me ever again, you shall be cast yourself into the Fire of Doom.’

Then the vision passed and Sam saw Frodo standing, hand on breast, his breath coming in great gasps, and Gollum at his feet, resting on his knees with his wide-splayed hands upon the ground.

…

Yeah.

[kyraneko]

Interestingly, I feel that there is another layer to this, and that is Frodo’s mercy (mirroring “the pity of Bilbo” which Gandalf said would prove significant) at play, tangled up in his use of the Ring and the chain of events that would play out.

Frodo is sparing Gollum’s life here, and shaping that into his curse. He is only cursing Gollum—can only curse Gollum—as an effect of this mercy; if Gollum were dead, he could not be cursed by Frodo or the Ring; his survival makes the curse possible and serves as payment for the curse: they are in effect making a bargain here, wherein Golllum’s life and his sentence of dying in the Fires of Doom should he take the Ring again are as one, a package deal, which Gollum “accepts” by retreating with his life.

Then, once Frodo comes to Mount Doom, he cannot cast the ring into the fires; the Ring has him in thrall, since he has used it. Now into the picture again comes Gollum, whose greed for the Ring has surpassed his love of his own life—even having been cursed with death should he touch it again, he craves it and demands it for himself, taking it from Frodo by force.

Thus we see the Ring’s power divided against itself—it has defeated both Frodo and Gollum, and its defeat of Gollum inspires Gollum to fight Frodo for it, invoking the curse. And thus Sauron, who has it, now, by virtue of both its erstwhile Bearers falling under its (and therefore its Lord’s) sway, is cheated out of it by the effects of Frodo’s act of mercy.

Frodo spared Gollum, and used the Ring’s power to set a curse, and when Frodo faltered, it was Gollum whom he spared who took the Ring from him and invoked that curse, falling into the Fires of Doom and, due to the same greed that defeated Frodo, taking the Ring with him.

If there had been no sparing Gollum, there would have been no curse, and Frodo would have had the task Isildur failed at—destroying the (beautiful, useful, lovely ring)—set before him alone, and he may have succeeded, or he may have failed, or he may have tarried too long in the struggle for Sauron’s destruction to come in a timely fashion, or the resolution and the Ring’s destruction may have hurt him far beyond the loss of a finger.

Instead, there was Gollum, in thrall to Sauron yet doomed by Frodo, to take from Frodo both the Ring and the burden of destroying it. Frodo, in his mercy-tinged use of the Ring, effectively shifted the impetus behind the Ring’s destruction from himself to the doom laid on Gollum—and Sauron’s hold over Gollum made it a near certainty that the doom would come to pass: Gollum would die, and not surrender the Ring, and thus the Ring would fall with him into the fires of Mount Doom.

And Frodo … like Indiana Jones in the Chapel of the Holy Grail, could avoid falling himself by either a willingness to let go, or the presence of a loved one to hold him back. Or, y’know, Gollum deciding to bite rather than just grab. A few more options here.

[lieshipwreckedandcomatose]

This really hearkens back to old Celtic mythological geasa, and how so often someone dies because of a forced contradiction of a geas’ rules. A geas essentially allows for an easy setup of a no-win situation.

The warrior-poet-king Cú Chulainn was, eventually, brought down because he was bound by a geas. His geas was to never eat the flesh of a dog (I believe by Culann, but I’m not sure on that). Well, he got served some dog stew. He couldn’t eat it, because it was dog. But he couldn’t not eat it, because that would be extremely rude, according to cultural custom at the time - a custom so strong, it might as well have been a geas on its own. Either way, he was breaking a geas’ rules, and this magically weakens him before an upcoming battle. He - and his charioteer and horse - are slain

So, yeah, this all tracks with how geasa work. Gollum had such a strong desire for the ring that he, quite literally, had no choice but to attack Frodo for it. But, in doing so, he contradicts the geas Frodo laid upon him, and so falls.

[entanglemindfully]

Just came across this while reading The Two Towers:

[Frodo to Gollum]: “’I did not mean the danger that we all share,’ said Frodo. ‘I mean a danger to yourself alone. You swore a promise by what you call the Precious. Remember that! It will hold you to it; but it will seek a way to twist it to your own undoing. Already you are being twisted. You revealed yourself to me just now, foolishly. Give it back to Smeagol you said. Do not say that again! Do not let that thought grow in you! You will never get it back. But the desire of it may betray you to a bitter end. You will never get it back. In the last need, Smeagol, I should put on the Precious; and the Precious mastered you long ago. If I, wearing it, were to command you, you would obey, even if it were to leap from a precipice or to cast yourself into the fire. And such would be my command. So have a care, Smeagol!’”

[mikkeneko]

#oh I am COMPELLED by this

yeah so was gollum

[beatles4ever65]

Just gonna tag @qrovidcore and @jaz-the-bard here

[twinterrors29]

Owen Lars died a few days before the end of Revenge of the Sith

so when a bedraggled, light-haired and light-skinned man showed up on her doorstep carrying a child, Beru Whitesun saw a solution to all her problems: identity fraud to get out of paying death taxes to the Hutts and ensure she had enough help running the farm

she even got a free baby out of the deal, and was able to convince her totally-not-new 'husband' that this would keep him safe from the new Empire as well!

this does, of course, add an additional layer of awkwardness to the arrival of Artoo and Threepio at the start of A New Hope

--

Luke: hey Uncle Owen, these droids we bought say that they belong someone named Obi-Wan Kenobi who they claim lives near here, do you know who that could be?

'Owen,' sweating: he, uh, died

Luke: oh, did you know him then?

'Owen,' sweating harder: how about we just wipe these droids' memories in the morning and forget this whole conversation, how does that sound son??

[maxknightley]

cleaning up your own living space: sucks ass

cleaning up a friend or romantic partner's living space: deeply satisfying and even a little entertaining

scientists can't explain this

[netherworldpost]

love is often a verb

[parkerhardison-deactivated20150]

[alternatez]

#OKAY SO THEY HAVE A SECRET HANDSHAKE #WHICH MEANS AT SOME POINT THEY SAT DOWN AND WERE LIKE #WE NEED A SECRET HANDSHAKE #OR HARDISON ONE DAY DECIDED THAT THEY NEEDED A HANDSHAKE #AND ELIOT JUST WENT ALONG WITH IT ALL ANNOYED #EVEN THOUGH HE SECRETLY LOVED IT #BECAUSE HARDISON IS HIS BEST FRIEND AND HE LOVES THAT IDIOT

#no u are wrong. eliot was like we need a secret signal and hardison was like. so a secret handshake #and eliot was like no to indicate that were good and hardison is like. so a secret handshake (tags via tatterpig)

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

#i’m always here for eliot’s transparent attempts at pretending he has dignity and is not a complete dork#‘no i don’t want an eliot signal i’m not a nerd like you….. what- what would be on this hypothetical signal’#‘can it be a wolf maybe’

[teathattast]

[gallusrostromegalus]

I dunno, Suspiciously Beautiful Horse In The Mist That's Definitely Going To Drown And Eat Me, if this heatwave continues I just might take you up on it.

[daily-spooky]

[troutreznor]

anyways op had me blocked when i wanted to reblog this photo set and they didn’t have a source on their post either so yknow i will provide for us all <3

Lil Nas X for The Neighborhood Talk

[homoquartz]

my dumb? founded. my flabbers? gasted. my gob??? smacked

[gauntletqueen]

my ass???? tonished

[copperbadge]

My con? Fused!!