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How do you tell someone that you don’t wish to rp with them? I don’t want to seem like a jerk.
Ah, this all comes down to simply wording things that are true, but not particularly pointed. Here are a couple of my favorite ways to turn someone away without hurting their feelings. You can borrow them, or adapt them to your use-case! I know it can be kinda goofy to use a script, but hearing how other people approach it can help you develop your own voice for this kind of thing, so I’m happy to provide examples.
“I don’t think we’d really have chemistry, but good luck anyways!”
“I’m sorry, I’m not a big fan of your portrayal, but I’m sure you’ll find someone else!”
“I’m afraid you’re not quite what I’m looking for right now. Thanks for the offer!”
“I’m not really feeling this roleplay, but thank you anyways.”
“Your character isn’t really what I had in mind for my next RP, but I’m glad you took the time to ask!”
“I’m glad you offered, but I’m afraid this isn’t something I see working out.”
“We’re really different RPers, so I don’t want to lead you on with an RP I don’t think I’d be really involved in. Thank you though!”
“We seem to have very different goals in mind for RP, so I think we’d be better off playing with other people. Good luck!”
“I appreciate the thought, but I think I’m looking for something else right now. Thanks though!”
“I’m not sure I can see this working out, good luck elsewhere!”
“Sorry, it’s a good idea, just not for me! Hope you find someone else to take you up on it!”
“All the best, but this ain’t it chief. Good luck elsewhere.”
... look, okay, I’m very ‘nice’ but sometimes you just gotta whack ‘em with the, “Nah, not my kinda thing. You do you.”
Good luck with dealing with this! I know how hard it can be. If they push back on you saying no, be firm. “Hey sorry! I know you’re excited, but I already said no. I’d appreciate it if you’d respect that!” kinda vibe. Or “I’m not comfortable explaining further, but again, thank you for asking.”
Hello, just a question pertaining RPG's in tumblr, this is the first one I'm into in a long time, and I've noticed mods often save good characters for themselves and like don't even post them for other's to try and apply, they post the bios when they are already taken by THEM and rule out anyone who might have tried for said chara, my only question here is if being bothered by this (even if I don't even want said chara) makes me petty or is it justified anger?
Honestly, that's just them making their own space and playing the characters they're excited to play. If you're unhappy about it, you can make your own roleplay. It is a little silly to feel angry because someone on the internet developed a character/world for them and their friends with an invite to try out some minor characters and see how you fit in. You could always take those characters and make them well-written and amazing. You have no idea how good they might be under your guidance without trying!
If you feel strongly enough about it, you're always welcome to develop your own characters and world and roleplays. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but in the end, that's why they get the good characters. They did all the work to get where they are. You're not entitled to be part of random roleplays just because they exist. They aren't spiting you, they don't even know you exist. They're planning a fun party together, and you're standing outside the cafe seething because they got the cake they ordered ahead of time custom made for themselves.
Many times I see a fully fleshed out character in a roleplay application process it's because someone made them that way. They didn't come out of the keyboard as the perfect awesome character they are. They were just someone's pet project they put a lot of time and effort into. So they might appear to be the best character, but that's because someone loves them! That means any character, even the weird guy with only one line is capable of the same thing. Don't be afraid to try for a nearly empty character sheet, it's not a bad character, it's an opportunity to make a good one. The freedom to adapt and change them to suit you, and really express yourself. Once you love them, they'll become a good character too.
Hell, their characters may be from another roleplay entirely, just changed a little to suit this one. Imagine playing a character for years, moving them to a new RP, and someone you don't know gets mad because they wanna play your character. Kinda... weird right? And they wanna apply to take your character away from you? I'd be wheezing at the audacity.
So, my advice to you is to let that grudge lie very very deep until it rots into fertilizer, and the use that fertilizer to make your own garden to play in. Plant the seeds of character development and work on a character until it's a "good one" and make your own RP and invite people to do the same: expand on your world and make it even richer and cooler than it was when you started. It's a lot healthier as an approach, and you look 90% less like a fucko who got mad at someone for having fun the wrong way. Haha.
Hey so I have a question... I'm 14 and followed an artist for NSFW of some characters I liked (they have a private account and don't know my age, they're apparently in their early 20s and while they have yet accepted my request still.) They don't know my age but I was thinking about it and thought "Is this really ok?" Because this may get them in trouble but at the same time literally NOBODY knows but like... it's been eating away at me and I'm nervous.
You're doing an asshole thing, sorry. You may not be a jerk! But the thing you're doing is what a jerk would do. You're breaking their trust, being entitled to things you are not of age to consume, going behind your parents backs, and lying to people by omission. Those are some pretty harsh things to get saddled with for a few drawn lines that look like a boob.
You're actively making the internet a less safe place, and fueling the kind of thing that political movements are using to ban all signs of sexuality (and in turn LGBTQAI+ folk) from the internet, by invading adult-only spaces against the consent, and will, of those adults. You're taking away their safety. You're now the kid that "got access to pornography" too easily that they use as a strawman to harm others. It's 4 years until it's legal, sit on your hands and follow the artist when you're older. Their art will still be around then, and you won't be deliberately making the choice to ignore their boundaries because you wanted something real bad. If you want kids to be safe, you have to in turn allow adults to be safe too. This is true for roleplay spaces too!
You're at an age where you're really malleable to certain things whether you realize it or not, and porn can really effect how you see certain things in life, or set you up for misunderstandings about how things are going to work. You're at an age where you're probably going to ask questions, but stick to sexual health websites that give accurate information instead of giving yourself some wild ass fetishes. You can end up completely changing how you interact with the world by doing this. I know it's fun and interesting, I know it's something illicit which can be a thrill, but like... respect people. Respect others. Respect yourself.
You can wait just a little while and this won't even be an issue anymore. You have the rest of your life to enjoy this stuff without breaking people's trust. And then? Then we'll accept you happily into adulthood and you can look at all the wacky drawn peens, vageens, and weirdo things you want. I know I sound like a stuffed shirt who wants to ban all fun, but it's becoming obvious that the more kids invade adult spaces, the less adult spaces we have. Imagine, a kid who gets online at 13 has 5 whole years where they need their training wheels and shouldn't push one little button/boundary. Then they have 60+ more years where they can do whatever they want. That seems fair!
But when you break that trust repeatedly, and people yell "what about the children" and people have to lock everything away tighter and tighter and become more and more illicit and illegal and "wrong" because those 5 years are 'too long to wait'? Those decades of freedom aren't very free, they're constantly haunted by new kids doing the same thing you did, and making it harder and hard to be an adult online. So please, do rethink the follow. Lying sucks for everyone. Set a reminder for your 18th birthday and go re-follow them then.
I’ve seen your post about good starters, is there anything with good conversations starters that’ll actually get characters somewhere?
So, starters are something that gives other people an idea of how you play your character, what your goals are, and what you're looking for. They also need to be pretty open ended, or happen in a public place unless you want to hook a specific other character. That means a starter is infinitely customizable and super personal to write. Just copy pasting any given starter is not going to do the job you need it for, it'll stymie your growth and leave you scrambling to keep up with whatever someone else chose for you. On top of that, starters are not what keep RP going: The plot and player is.
So, let's jump in and break it down a little more so it's easier to put together your own starter from absolutely nothing, and how you as a player can keep plot going after the initial starter is dead in the dust behind you on your little journey, shall we?
When you write a starter, basically you're writing a hook to get someone involved in a situation. You're putting out into the world a question, or something that looks like it needs to be interrupted or acted on, so that other people will interrupt or act on it. So write it from that perspective: what would make you want to engage with a post?
So, pick apart what's important to you to get from a partner. When you roleplay, you look for specific goals, an A to B, essentially. Are you writing this scene in an attempt to explore the character and maybe find out something about their past or reveal a secret? Do you simply want to see how they respond to others? Or do you have a plot in mind? If there's an arc of a story you wanna get through, you're gonna have to nestle your starter securely in a situation that will allow you to forward that plot. See what I mean about it being deeply personal?
For example: If I were playing Tony Stark, and I wanted him to show off a new invention while handling his PTSD, I might drop a starter invoking curiosity. I'd set it up with a scene, probably near his workshop but public enough someone would have a chance to see me. I'd be carrying something remarkable but, questionable. "Did you just see him with a bomb?" This item would effect another character, so it would be rewarding to double check Tony isn't about to wreck your household by blowing it up. Then I'd have an experiment or invention in mind. He's made a robot that goes and grabs bombs, and folds over them to protect the household ala Steve Rogers jumping on a grenade. Mostly to stop Steve doing that shit. Cool, cool. I'll have that in mind when I describe what they find if they call out to him, and he ignores them and keeps bolting, or they follow him to see what's up. Then I can discuss it, and show emotions in my post that lead the other character to ask questions why I made this. Reveal a personal story or anecdote, and eventually get cornered by their curiosity or my loud mouth into joking and revealing some deeply personal trauma. Tada, a starter!
A starter that only works for my goals of exploring Tony's trauma, that only works for Tony Stark, that only works with characters who would see him when he's vulnerable at home with the other Avengers. So it's absolutely personalized and broken for anyone else.
Except, throughout, you can see how I logically broke it down! Here is the hook, here is my character's interests, here is why another person wants to care, here is my goal for the reveal, here's enough plot to feed into the machine to keep them interested, here's how I expect the scene to get to a certain point. It's very loosely put together, because by the end of it I might be looking at their trauma instead if, for instance, the explosion sets off a panic attack. Keeping flexibility helps keep a conversation going.
It also helps to provoke. Prod, ask questions, be curious, or offer something that makes other people want to know more. When you just roleplay hi, how are you, hello, how's the weather that's not a conversation so much as small talk. Which will die out quickly because there's no bonding or true interaction beyond the surface level. Like a geode, a character must be broken to see what shiny things are inside. So find something to crack them open a little, a chip here or there.
Now, if the other person absolutely fucking sucks at prompting you or offering a chance to open up? You may wanna, as a player, screw with the narrative and make for external pressure. Put your character under a deadline, by making them be waiting for something stressful. It makes them try to get things in fast, and they mess up. Maybe have a phone call or something happen, so they have to talk in front of the other character and divulge more than they meant to. You can force things on your character from outside, and it can help keep things going.
Relying entirely on your characters to keep things going is a fool's errand if the characters are not expressive, extroverted, and mouthy. A quiet stern guy who keeps to himself will want to kill a conversation quickly, and it'll drive other players off because they think that's you doing it, not your character. So make sure your narration explains why they're acting like that, and give tips to approach for the other character. Like I said, external forces may be the only way to force someone out of their shell while making sure your RP partner wants to keep digging!
You may have to fudge your character's personality or characterization slightly to get the ball rolling. Don't be afraid to make them slightly OOC if it means opening a door to tons more IC things. What, you've never blurted out something by mistake, or gotten mad and said something you regret because it's not really you? You never lied? Tch! They can fuck up too! Let them! Explore that!
Starters are never gonna be as easy as reading off cards, or having something set-up for you. You're gonna have to look at the setting for your character and see what's important. Are there places people frequent? Are there hobbies your character does that may be interesting? Can you arrive covered in blood because you're an assassin to prompt other people to fret until they realize it's not your blood and you can brag about the kill? Can you do something that seems out of character, but is perfectly normal? Be interesting! be interested in what your partner has to offer too, maybe it's not what you intended but following THEIR plot concepts can be super rewarding too!
Anonymous asked: Idk, why. But every time I rp as a guy I sometimes feel uncomfortable or just bored. Especially when it comes to canon characters, I feel like I'm just satisfying my parthers otp/ships with their oc's. And when I try to bring in my others oc's, they're ignored. This happens almost every time with any other person. Do you have any advice?
Usually there’s a reason for stuff like this, so lemme jump to the biggest most extreme conclusion and get that outta the way. If you’re uncomfortable exclusively by the act of playing a gender, or thinking like a gender, and acting like a gender, and feel like you’re just playing a role with no connection to specifically a gender and nothing else... Maybe you don’t want to play/be/act as that gender? I mean, it could be anything setting you off, but this is important to point out, especially with your wording, subconscious though it may be. You don’t have to RP as a guy. It’s okay. Be anything you want, that’s what RP is for. To have fun, and be comfortable, and do what feels good to you.
There’s no shame in just saying no to RPing anything. Settings, characters, genders, themes, tropes, even just roleplaying if you’re not in the mood! Roleplay is, again, for fun, and you should probably communicate that you’re no longer having it. That you want to explore other options. I mean this could be as simple as you don’t have chemistry with those partners, to as complex as realizing you may not have a real connection to a specific gender... even IRL.
Like, I’m not gonna lie, I have seen a large number of people who have realized they identify as something else because they’ve played other genders, tried out the ol’ mental space with RP, and found something that fit them better. Might not be applicable to you, that’s fine. This is a deeply personal decision though, I’m just pointing it out as an aside because some people need that little push to go ‘oh’ and this answer is going to be an open letter to everyone who is in this situation as usual. So hey, it doesn’t have to be too serious, and if questioning your labels isn’t your speed, no issue. Just thought it was wise to point it out, rather than ignore it and pretend it didn’t set off a tiny alarm in my head saying ‘hang on a sec’.
So yes, with that out of the way— Of course that’s not the only reason things might feel ‘off’! Like I mention above, there’s plenty of other things, so now that we have a quick ‘I’d be a jerk if I didn’t say this does happen’ out of the way, let’s explore things like chemistry, and why your characters don’t resonate with you personally, but end up seeming to be more for your partner in crime over there. AKA: Playing for other people, and why it doesn’t really work out.
So when you RP a character and they don’t sync with you personally? That’s a big thing buddy! That’s a sign you’re not playing what you love or vibe with. That doesn’t seem like something you should get upset about, we all do stuff that we feel pretty neutral or vaguely bored by for friends and family, but it really really can be draining over time. Playing something deeply out of your personal experience is a fun challenge, but I would never say do that for a long term if you’re not getting comfortable as you do it. You can burn yourself out, by pushing too hard and making so much work for yourself you lose the thread of fun supposedly throughout all RP.
Me? I have trouble with happy, perky characters. I can do it, and I do it well judging by the reaction of people around me, but it just doesn’t feel right. It feels like someone is very slowly spreading me thinner and thinner trying to react against my natural instincts. I know it’s actually another problem that some people feel like they play too many similar characters, but that’s a natural inclination to play something that suits you, so you can give your full attention to the details surrounding that character instead of questioning everything you do.
Being able to act on auto pilot helps a ton when you want to focus on the important parts, like the plot instead of figuring out how this character would feel if it’s not what you kneejerk understand. Second guessing is hard! As anyone who deals with second guessing everything they do all day: it leads to exhaustion because it’s an extra hidden layer of emotional labor.
So! Why are dudes uncomfortable for you? We’ve got an obvious problem here that an external force (your RP buddies over there) may have trained you to believe that you only have one purpose. That male characters are romance fodder, and have to fall in love with an OC. That your OC’s aren’t important. That’s gonna be a whoooole different problem right there. This is a problem with your RP partner, who is using you to fulfill their happiness. There’s a huge problem with the power dynamic in this OOC relationship, just going by this little snippet.
Your partner should never make you feel like you’re only roleplaying for their sake.
I’m leaving that line all alone so you can really look at it, and reread it. I’m going to say it again in fact: Your partner should never make you feel like you’re only roleplaying for their sake. There’s various reasons why that’s icky, but I’ll just touch on what stands out to me most. One of those things is that this makes roleplaying a job.
Instead of letting yourself explore the mind of a character you enjoy, you’ve come to expect that you will follow a certain order of things, and that your job is to fill the emotional labor required of your partner to keep them happy. They respond to you requesting similar emotional labor (which in a healthy relationship should be give-and-take) by ignoring you. This is painful for you, maybe not like getting pinched, but feeling like what you’ve made isn’t good enough? That you’re not good enough by extension because our RP kids are totally extensions of ourselves? That’s unfair. Unfair to you.
However! Even if something seems to be a pattern, like not playing dudes, it’s always good to test run characters from all walks of life. Any character couldn’t be the exception to or that your mood could change. That means, don’t feel guilty if you’ve said “this label doesn’t feel right” for a while, and then you have an exception. It just means it’s an exception, you’re fine. You’re not breaking your own rules, you’re learning more about what works with you.
Finding yourself at a loss with OC’s or characters you enjoy may point to your environment being one that’s hostile to new things. They don’t understand an OC, there’s no blueprint giving them an idea of what to expect. OC’s are also one of the easiest ways for players to get into the game, which means newbies who lack social graces tend to gravitate towards them because ‘there’s no rules to break’ in how they portray them. Unfortunately since they don’t know how to approach others in socially appropriate ways, this gives OC’s a reputation for being awful to play with. They break etiquette, they push too hard, they don’t get why someone may be backing away. This isn’t the OC’s fault, it’s the player, but it’s seen more in OC’s because of ease-of-entry. So... they gain a reputation.
That means approaching on an OC is definitely going to come with people looking for standard red flags, and they’ll need to see you in action long enough to get comfortable with you! You have to be stellar in everything to get attention, and you have to have a hook. Your character has to be stand-out, interesting, and fun. Something people get grabbed by the summary of, so they can emotionally attach to it the same way they did major series, which give a character time to come out of their shell, and audiences time to connect to them. That’s why canons are popular: They bought the time it took to get under people’s skin by having a plot to follow. Without that, OC’s are like hearing about a character from another fandom you’re not interested in.
There’s also, unfortunately, an online beef against the ladies in plot. I’m not gonna sugar coat it, people have gotten it into their heads that girls being roleplayed tend to be shallow, vapid characters designed just for romance. So it can be hard to egt people interested because of stereotypes. The worst part is, I see this stereotype most often from male writers playing women, who have no idea hoiw to treat them as a person, and have instead made them a cardboard cut out designed to reach their goals. This is even worse on adult websites where smut is an option, ladies get the short stick SO often because of years where female characters have been treated as a plot device.
This goes way back to the idea of a sexy lamp: If your female character can be replaced with a sexy lamp, they aren’t expanded enough on. They aren’t a person. Some of the strongest female characters have been, say, Ripley from Alien. Why? She was a male character in the script, they just didn’t change anything but her gender and rolled with it. Which, duh, worked because women is people. A wild concept for some reason. Can you tell this is something that gets my goat, because baaaa, motherfucker, baaaa.
That means you end up working against a lot of shit to just try and play around and have fun. It can be exhausting, and more than once I’ve seen people give up. Don’t, though. People need to hear your voice. If you’re in a position where things are hard, remember. Trying the same things over and over expecting it to change is just silly. You need to change parts of your approach, whether it be the environment, the people, or simply how you word things. Push back on what’s making you feel bad, and put down boundaries. “If I do this, I would appreciate if you gave back with this.” Ask for space, you deserve space to explore what makes you happy. Say no more often to things you’re not comfortable with. You don’t have any obligation to fit a mold for another person.
Find your comfort zone, and defend it. If that means moving onto a new group of people, or just doing something extraordinary with what you have, or finding a new way to approach stuff, then maybe that’s what you need to do! Spread your wings, and find what makes you happy. Don’t look for advice on how to tamp yourself down into what you feel like you should be doing, if it’s not right for you. Good luck, and Happy RPing!
@twodemigodtraveleroflorien asked: Any advice on how to RP a character having a panic attack
Sure! As usual, ‘show don’t tell’ is gonna be big here. By that, I mean describe what is going on through connected ideas, not straightforward ones. When someone is in love they smile, and gaze, and touch. When someone is angry they sneer. When someone is scared they sweat, and triple check nothing is behind them. Don’t ever just say ‘Mary was scared’ unless it’s a stylistic choice to give a certain feel to your writing. Pick it consciously as what your story needs, or not at all.
Beyond that, panic attacks can hit in a ton of different ways. We’ll get into this below, and describe not only panic attacks, but some methods on how to help them. If you’re sensitive to this material, please don’t walk in knowingly, fuck yourself up, and have a bad day. I love you kids too much for that. Also remember this is for roleplay, I will be discussing the awkward as fuck things, like “picking which symptoms match your character” and “using panic attacks in plot.”
Writers, amirite? (Please only continue if you’re in the mental space for it! It can get graphic and triggering. Take breaks as needed.)
To reassure my readers, yes, I have had panic attacks an awful lot. So I can actually speak from experience for once. But only my experience, so give me some slack if yours hits you differently, or if I don’t nail it. Give other writers that slack too, and don’t think one size fits all will ever work here. Give them the benefit of the doubt, so long as they make a decent effort. No one needs their panic attacks nitpicked, it’s either from personal experience or to further the plot. Do either of those things really need someone telling them right at that moment they’re not doing it right? If they’re just making a mockery of it OOCly, go ahead and rip ‘em with facts. ICly, well, Jan. It’s supposed to be problematic, that’s a plot hook for character growth. If it bugs you, communicate that OOCly you’d like to move on.
So anyways, let’s just waltz right into the thick of it. According to the diagnostic criteria listed in the DSM-5, panic attacks are experienced as a sudden sense of fear and dread plus four or more of the following mental, emotional, and physical symptoms:
Heart palpitations or accelerated heart rate
Feelings of numbness or tingling sensations
Excessive sweating
Trembling or shaking
Shortness of breath or smothering sensations
Feeling of choking
Chest pain or discomfort
Nausea or abdominal pain
Feeling dizzy, unsteady, lightheaded, or faint
Chills or hot flashes
Derealization and/or depersonalization
Fear of losing control or going crazy
Fear of dying
So immediately we realize, not everyone’s panic attacks are going to be the same thing. Some people get their heart beating a mile a minute, and feel like they’re miles away, are scared they’ll die, and be afraid they’ll lose control. Some people will have aggressive chest pains, start sweating and shaking, then feel like they’re going to pass out, choke, and vomit at the same time. Can you see why those would present differently in a roleplay, or how they’d fit different character models better, or even the outcomes of these on different personalities? That’s important to the writer right there. You have to understand your character and how they would experience fear, and sensations that are unpleasant, and which ones they’re feeling.
The only thing that is solidly in every panic attack is that sudden feeling of dread or fear. People who have not had one can relate to it, honestly. Have you ever turned off the lights in your bathroom or some dark spooky hallway and suddenly felt like something was in there? Then you have to fucking run before the thing gets you, or turn on a light to check, and the hairs rise on your neck and your eyes open up wide enough to suck in every photon of light for miles because suddenly your brain wants the power to see in the dark? Yeah. That creeping feeling of being prey is the dread and fear. Yes, people may feel these differently. Fear is not exactly one size fits all. But this is a pretty good start to understanding the drop of an ‘oh fuck’ barreling down on you from behind.
Myths abound on panic attack causes, but the truth is simple. Sometimes, they happen because something triggered it, but a lot of the time there is no trigger. Your body just decides to fuck you over because that seems like a great idea right now. You can’t even really avoid them by sleeping. That’s right, you can get panic attacks while dead asleep. That’s so thoughtful of them, they don’t want you miss out, I say in the most sarcastic voice ever.
The good thing is, no, you can’t die from a panic attack or be ‘driven insane’,and no they aren’t just you overreacting to fear or pain. They aren’t even always part of a panic disorder (other disorders bring them to the party too). The good news is, although they suck rancid eggs, they can be managed. If you treat some of the underlying causes, you can help lessen them over time.
What disorders are linked? Oh boy, that’s a hell of a list. Anxiety disorders are a big one, agoraphobia, OCD, depression, Bipolar disorder. They all like to invite panic attacks with them. Other fun party guests are eating disorders, personality disorders, and substance-related conditions. Heck, GERD, IBS, and sleeping disorders are also friends with panic attacks. So while writing your character, look at what might be the underlying cause of it. Whatever building blocks you pick end up visible in not only panic attacks you decided to throw in to make the scene worse, but a constant background noise to their lives.
That’s one of the important things you need to remember. If you choose to give your character a condition like the above, there’s a couple rules that make this go over a lot better with the community. Let’s look at them.
Do not only use it to get attention. It may be plot relevant, but if it comes up every single time the spotlight is off you, it gets old quick. This is a shitty medical thing, not your golden ticket to being fussed over.
Do not use the disorder as their only personality. You have a character who happens to have and live with the disorder, not a walking form of the disorder who happens to have some character stuck in there.
Do not use it to only have good things happen. Realistically, you may get a panic attack at the worst time ever and fuck everything up. Don’t make it a ‘get out of jail free’ card, balance it with bad timing and bad outcomes.
Do not play Sympathy Sue with it. We don’t want to have to coax, dote, and protect your character every step of the way in a story without them ever showing signs of doing anything but keeping the attention on them and their issues. In real life, real people have personalities beyond their issues, they have friends, they tend to learn how to manage things over time. So let your character grow, and show themselves too. In writing, we do this for fun and to escape bad things. We don’t want to shoulder something during playtime, we may encounter often in real life.
Do not go into this without research. Practice writing up little stories to describe the symptoms. Read everything you can. Look up webpages, blogs, and everything where people are offering the information on their struggles freely.
Make sure everyone in the group is comfortable playing this out. It can trigger things when you go whole hog descriptive about every symptom they have until they suddenly start having one in real life because fuck, they’re right there again. Never surprise someone with a panic attack in character unless you know it’s okay, or are willing to just skim over it.
Understand the gist of why these exist? Good. Go with the spirit of them, not the letter of them. Basically respect, even though as writers we intentionally use them for plot and growth, we should not abuse that ability by lacking respect for the real people who have them. Be tactful, be polite, be respectful as the person behind the keyboard. Anything that isn’t tactful, polite, or respectful had better be in character, and had better relate to the plot and characterization pretty damn well. You should also make it very obvious that you disagree with the character in narration. If they say something crass or obtuse, point out that they said something crass and obtuse.
“It’s not like it’s really that bad, you’re just scared right? Get over it, you whiner,” he said, sneering. His lack of empathy for the subject really showed his lack of experience with it.
Tada, by adding in one line, you’re a better writer in general, and have accurately explored characterization while pointing out you recognize he’s a total asshole. Doing things in a way that clearly shows you give a damn and understand what you’re choosing to let the character do is the key to not pissing someone else off.
Okay so back to the attacks! These symptoms are basically just names right now. You can say what’s happening straight out, and that’s cool, but... how do you make your reader empathize with them? You’re going to want to explore each of these feelings in writing, or at least the ones you know you’re going to use. This is homework! Explain each of these in detail in a way you can connect with them. Put yourself into your character’s position, and write from the heart.
Their heart racing, what do they feel when this happens? The skipping beats that feel awkward and clunky? The way you can feel it pounding along, a mile a minute, ready to burst out of your chest? Go running, when your heart rate gets up there, you’ll really fucking quickly pick up on how that part feels. The pounding, heaviness of a heart going so fast your shirt is trembling, and your hands can’t stay steady. Describe it, describe how that heartbeat going mad feels to you and how out of place it is.
Tingling and numbness? You might have had a limb go to sleep before, use that as a jumping off point. Except in a panic attack, it’s everywhere and the pins aren’t painful. They’re just a loss of feeling everywhere. Your hands tickle with them, your skin feels like it’s tightened up weird, and can’t feel like it used to even if you’re hypersensitive to touch. Sweating so much you soak the sheets? Use that experience, the dripping, the suddenness. How it contrasts with the temperature being comfortable. Sweating from anxiousness or nerves. Damp palms. I fucking hate flop sweats like that, because I end up with a disgusting feeling scalp, wet neck, and my body is just damp all over after I’ve been through an extreme.
Everyone’s probably trembled in their lives. A shiver through your limbs. What happens when you tremble? Is it harder to write, or grab onto things? Is your grip worse? Explore how trembling effects your environment as much as it effects you. It helps to understand that the tremble is sudden, violent. You cannot stop it, it’s beyond your control, and you struggle to keep yourself from showing it a lot if you’re that type of a person. Since it’s down to personality, someone might have a shaking quavering voice, or they might be hiding that shaking hand and stiffening up to hide it all from the others.
Choking, smothering, unable to breathe... well that sounds like running to me, but I’m out of shape as hella. Crying does it too though, unable to get past a throat filled with snot. The absolute lack of breath, it’s like you’re depressurized. Remember nothing, from the feeling of choking, to the stitch in your side, to feeling sick to your stomach, is exclusive to a panic attack. You’ll probably have encountered being dizzy or light headed in your life without ever seeing a panic attack. Chills and hot flashes too. They can be way more extreme, like sitting there shivering and teeth chattering despite being in a 85°F/29°C room. Just absolutely taken by how cold you are, and nothing can warm you because you’re already sweating. It looks a lot like a symptom of shock, which is why they throw those blankets over you after a severe accident of any kind, even if you’re not hurt.
While you’re looking at those, don’t just look at the symptom. Look at the character’s reaction to the symptoms. Does stomach pain make them cry? Does it make the shortness of breath worse? Do they have sweating, lightheadedness, hot flashes, and nausea and just wave it off as a thing that’s happening because they’re scared? Mix and match. Some characters handle things better than others. Some have different reactions. Find them, and pull them out and shove them in the light for other people to see.
The final symptoms are a bit more in-depth because we can’t find aspects of them to jump off of from real life. Derealization, depersonalization, a fear of losing control or not feeling ‘sane’, or a fear of dying? These we might not feel very often or at all if we’re neurotypical. So we’re going to rely on people who have experienced them to learn about what they’re like. That’s dangerous territory, be respectful when you explore it. Not sure where you’ll find details on these without stepping on toes? Hi! I’ve had all of them, so lemme get down to brass tacks and tell you what they may be like. Once again, one person’s experiences do not equal all people’s experiences, but as an intelligent person with critical thinking you knew that and were totally going to google Reddit threads and blogs about the subject if you intended to write them, right?
So, derealization and depersonalization are very interconnected, which is probably while they’re listed as a grouped symptom in the list. They are experiencing the feeling of becoming entirely unhinged from either reality, or yourself. It’s a wild sensation to be several feet outside of your body, watching as everything happens. It’s even more wild that it can vary, a few inches away, or even just ‘somewhere else’ while your body keeps going. You can lose your entire grip on a situation, your mind fully consumed with something else, to the point you don’t really feel like it’s you talking, or moving.
Same thing when everything stops feeling real. Like you’re in a movie, or a dream, watching shit play out you have no control over. Yet, you function through it. On autopilot, saying the things you would say, doing the things you would or should do. Even though you’re feeling a bubble or padding between you and there. In my case, I’ve definitely felt like I was underwater, and should be unable to breathe, but I was breathing fine, looking through this glassy feeling at a body that was going through a panic attack, but it wasn’t really me. It was a bunch of chemical firing, everything happening felt rehearsed, fake, and far away. Like, it had been predetermined to happen, and I had no control over it.
It’s varied between feeling like I, personally, am not the person doing shit. I look into a mirror, and some stranger is looking back at me, who has the wrong everything. Sometimes everything isn’t real, there’s no way everything can look like this can feel like this when the world is shutting down for me. I am empty, why is the world doing this, it cannot be real. Except it is. This is such a numbing, empty experience, that it leaves you really struggling to find something to anchor yourself to. Those are not my hands. My hands aren’t that size. This room is not my room, it looks wrong, the color is off in a way I can’t describe, the comfort isn’t for me. It’s really fucking mindboggling, and all this?
Is on top of other symptoms. At the same time. My dude lemme tell you, wearing another person’s skin and watching them unable to breath because they’re choking on air, while they suddenly go freezing cold, teeth chattering, is a TRIP!
Fear of losing control or going crazy is fun too, in the way that I can being super sarcastic on one hand because it’s not fun at all; and also very very genuine because I have an analytical mind and it’s cool to see my own brain degrade in front of me. When in the throes of this, I definitely know I’m not insane, but what if I am? What if this is the moment I snap and lose it entirely? What if this is the terrifying reality now, that I’m never going to get any of these other symptoms under control, and instead I’m going to get worse and start chewing the walls and attacking people left and right? What if this is my breaking point?
The terror just eats away at you, because no matter how much someone says that you’re gonna be fine, and that you’re not insane, they have no idea. They’re not a professional, and they don’t have some kind of little device that lets them see what’s going on in your head. When your thoughts get jumbled and frantic like that, it can super feel like you’re losing the plot entirely. You really do start to believe there’s no hope for you and they’re going drag you off and drug you up because everything that makes you you has spiderwebbed into this wild ass new person who has had their sanity ripped out of their hands.
I blame Hollywood for a lot of this, because you see this kind of thing happen. Someone becomes too emotional, and wa-bam, they never come back from it. They got comatose, or hysterical and have to be dragged away. They never quite make it back to their former selves, and that! Is! terrifying! And just the kind of unrealistic thing a mind having met it’s limit would throw at you because it can no longer keep track of what is actually happening.
Fear of dying is the last one, and after the things above, is it really any surprise that you might feel like you were dying in the middle of all this? Now the last time I got this, I had managed to get a head injury and a seizure so maybe it was an ickle bitty bit of a realistic fear. (Also, I’m fine, but obviously some things have happened since I last wrote for you guys, be nice to me.) With all these feelings of rushing inevitability, fear of the end of yourself is RIGHT up there waving its hands and demanding to be seen. This is, I also got this from... slightly cutting my thumb while cooking.
It doesn’t have to make sense, I knew my thumb was not going to bleed out, but I was ready to face death because oh no, something terrible has happened. My brain saw one big drop of blood, and it was done. I was officially dying. I would lose the thumb, I would get gangrene, I would die in a corner somewhere. It became something that overwhelmed all my senses and I had to lay down for a while and let it pass. All I wanted was someone to be there for me while I was inevitably dying of a boo boo. That’s how extreme it can go from literally nothing, so it’s super hard to shake off if you pick it as one of your character’s responses!
Now if you had to take a break during this at any time, that’s perfectly normal. It may be a sign that you shouldn’t RP this situation though, because that’s gonna be even more intense. Plus, if it’s tied to your character, and you’re the type to be inside your characters POV for the smoothest writing process? You might feel like it’s happening to you. Method acting can bite you in the ass if this is something you can trigger by experiencing it. On the other hand, RPing your way through it can help compartmentalize it, and putting those horrible feelings into a new situation can help you recontextualize it from an outside perspective. Making it easier later to go through a panic attack because now you have another experience to draw from. There’s a reason Therapists like it when you roleplay.
Just remember, roleplaying is for story and fun. If you find yourself far too deep, aftercare may be needed. You don’t have to always ask someone else for that, you can just give yourself something relaxing after play. Hit up your favorite goofy TV show. Eat a treat you really love and let yourself be in the moment while you savor it. Take a nice warm bath if that’s the kind of thing that relaxes you. Sure, it’s roleplay, but it can have a real emotional effect on you, same as any other experience! So, if you need to, find someone you can talk it out with. If not friends, then a professional who can give you the tools to make the most of your new experience in helping yourself. Hell, if you simply got to the end of this and feel drained or something, go give yourself a treat and cool off a bit!
Anyways thank you for reading! Hope this helps in really expressing panic attacks a little more clearly in text, but always remember to CHECK IN on your partner. Make SURE they’re comfortable with the level of detail you want to get into! If not, go for a lighter hand! Write a vignette on the side, and upload it to your Tumblr as a fanfic of your RP if you wanna prove your skills without effecting other people! Tag your shit! Be aware of those around you, and really do make sure everyone’s comfortable when you’re exploring topics like these.
If you try your best to get it right and do the research, it’s obvious to others. You’ll be fine. Happy RPing!
what does FPRP mean? (five nights at freddy’s? idk if that would matter)
lillies-ballpit asked:
hi, sorry if you've already answered this before, but what does ptrp mean? i was looking at a twitter roleplayer and their pinned said "ptrp/mvrp" :/
Anonymous asked:
What does Fandomless mean?
Anonymous asked:
What does ss mean in a rp
Anonymous asked:
which is? s/o I see that they write it a lot in a fanfic on the Tumblr platform
Anonymous asked:
What is a open ship?
Anonymous asked:
What does ST-LT and S-F mean?
Anonymous asked:
What is pming?
Anonymous asked:
hi! I feel like this is a stupid question but im kinda new to roleplaying so what does the word muse mean? Ive heard people use before like "single muse" or "multimuse" and stuff like that. But what is a muse?? Thanks for making this blog! Its super helpful!
Time for a bundle answer!
1: Likely FPRP is First Person Roleplay. i.e. “I walk along the street” rather than second person (”You walked along the street.”) or third (”They walked along the street.”)
2. PTRP is a roleplay universe on Twitter for Pokemon Trainers it appears. MVRP is multi-verse! They'll play in multiple universes, fandoms, or realities.
3. Fandomless? It means their character was developed originally, and has no ties to a fandom or already created media.
4: ss probably means Single Ship, which means they like to exclusively write with a single partner and their character, and don't like making new romance threads. I sure as heck hope it’s nothing else because uhm...
5: S/O? Well there's a couple meaning but, "Significant Other" and "Shout Out" are both popular!
6: An open ship is likely just a poly, or multiple shipper. It's someone who is willing to RP multiple plot threads with a variety of roleplay partners and romances, and does not do exclusivity! This is also MS, or Multi-shipping.
7: ST-LT is probably "short term, long term" meaning, they're looking for either a short term or long term RP. S-F might be anything from Sci-Fi to Short-Form. Context is everything for these super short ones, and the meanings change depending on where you find them and how they’re used. Bu these are my best guesses!
8: PMing is Private Messaging, it's when you send a whisper/DM/PM to someone privately, just one-on-one.
9: Muse? It’s just a term to designate the character you’re playing. If I wrote for a character in a roleplay, or played them, they would be my “muse”. This is usually paired with mun, or mundane. There's also players, PC for player character, and character or MC main character. Single muse would be that they play just the one character. Multimuse means a blog contains multitudes, tons of muses are probably being played by the same blog, like a rotating cast!
The character I want to play has the ability to read minds/sense emotions, how should I go about this without falling into meta information/godmodding territory?
Oh, I love characters like this! Despite the intricate little dance you have to do to stay cool-beans with everyone, they can be immensely satisfying to play with/against/or at all. A lot of it comes down to checking in OOCly and creating a sense of trust between you and other players. You can't just jump in willy-nilly, but you've already shown that you recognize that! So...
First things first, you need to build a rapport with others. This can only be built through time, roleplay, and the trust that comes with seeing how you use your powers. Any person on the street walking up to you and just misusing your inner thoughts is going to get a realistic reaction from both player and character: disgust, annoyance, and generally thinking you're a prick they want nothing to do with. Do not jump any player character with anything you'd be weirded out with IRL without accepting there will be negative consequences. In this case, they might just reject all RP with you—
So you're going to have to prove yourself.
Start out by pointing out their abilities to people. Then, in narration (that's the story bit the player is writing), maybe reference a reaction to it. Keep a light hand, make it a thing that exists, but don't misuse it. It's flavoring, and if you don't use it to be an absolute twat right off the bat, you can get people to trust you with more details, or information.
Communication is key here, and in this case OOC communication is downright needed. You can contact someone, and set-up rules and comfort zones. You can ask them details, that you can expound on to give the writing more oomf. The trick is, this is cooperative writing, you're both working together to make something that's fun to write, fun to read, and has an impact when put together nicely. That means they want you to succeed as much as you want to succeed. Let them.
Having limits on it that allow people to 'block' your character, or temporarily distract them can help a ton. It gives other users a sense of control/power over your powers, so they feel like they're on an equal playing field. Maybe how far away they are effects how clearly they can hear those thoughts. Maybe they're preoccupied, so they can't focus on them. Maybe tinfoil hats, for once, work. Whatever your reasons, giving yourself human weaknesses can be a delightful way to work off the power.
I, for one, enjoy exploring how although a character may be able to read minds, minds may not always be so clear cut. Are you reading their jumbled thoughts? Can you just collect the general gist of their uppermost thoughts, and are deeper thoughts something you need to push to get to? What if they're a type of mind that can't imagine images because of aphantasia, or what if they think in internal narration? Some folks don't have an internal narrator. Some have a million voices that seem to be thinking at once. You might not even understand what the symbolism of their thoughts mean. This person feels yellow: what the hell does that mean to you?
Misunderstandings also humanize your character, which means failure is an option, and plot can be safely worked around. It's another failsafe that keeps you from overdoing it, or being a godmodding jerk. You can simply 'oopsie' around any thought you shouldn't be able to pick up because it would ruin the RP by simply... not looking at that moment. Or being in someone else's head at the time. A lot of using this power is going to be down to balances like this, where you as a player hold your character's hand and gently nudge them down a staircase if they're doing too much and hurting other people's enjoyment.
Once you find partners who feel safe, pushing the boundaries with them can be more fun because they know what to expect so you're not some stranger weirdo. You're someone who is communicating, and they can trust you to catch them when they narratively freefall into your arms. They know you'll use the power to further the story, not cut the legs out from under it.
It's important in these situations to have a major idea of what you are to everyone else. Attention seeking, godmodding, forcing yourself into situations you don't belong, whiteknighting because you can sense other people's distress and ruining their distressing-on-purpose-RP. These bad habits and more can come up in RP, and when you have the power to "see beyond the 4th wall" so to speak, it becomes even easier to fall prey to them. You need to understand how you exist in this space, and be conscious of stepping on toes.
Check in, check in, check in. If you have any doubts, run the idea past your partner, and then do as they feel comfy. Check in for this, or that. Clarification. Give them a spoiler for your upcoming post and go 'Hey, can I use your PC's thoughts to jump start this plot advancement' and 100% let them direct you. If they say no, sorry bud, you gotta respect that whether or not your character should be able to do it. The more you ask, the better you'll get a feel for the tone of others, and what they're cool with, and the more you can do without asking knowing both of you will love the outcome.
It just takes working with your partners, and developing that trust. I know it takes a while, but you can do it. I believe in you!
Hello, I have a question about combat roleplaying.
Is there anyway to counter someone trying to wipe your character from existence? I have a character whos high 1-A, just wondering.
I cannot tell you how wild of an ask this is because of how much of it must be entirely contextual to your current situation. A-1 means nothing to me, this isn't a universal term in RP, but after some looking around it seems to be a categorization used in the vsBattle fandom to allow people to rank character power stats against each other like classes of heavyweight versus lightweight. And it seems to have been very thought out by a bunch of people who are very very serious about it, so it's a well-thought out thing.
So, I'm assuming if this is the right power ranking to go off, your character is an "High Outerverse level" character similar to God/Death in some series.
Whew, back in my day we just had Marvel Mutants being Omega class, or Naruto Ninjas being S-Rank... Looks like you're in somewhere with a lot more math and intensity than I'm used to considering I just had to read "structures with a number of dimensions equal to the cardinal aleph-2" with my own two delicate innocent baby boy eyes. This means whatever advice I am about to give you is unlikely to be useful, but fuck it, I'm game.
So, you're getting wiped out of existence...
Your character is, as far as I can tell, able to manipulate all of existence, including every multiverse, hyperverse, and whatever-the-fuck-have-you because they can fuck with but infinity times infinity, except they're a step below the ultimate Boundless, and one step above the guy who can mess with infinity times three. Really getting back to the playground "infinity plus one" argument. You must be going up against someone who is going a little faster than you or doing better than you to have them cockblock your entire existence. I think I have the scenario broken down for more feeble minds like me can figure out what the hell this means.
Logically, the answer is you can't do shit. Guy is faster/better/more tactically sound, so he wins. He's managed to outdo you on every level, and made your existence just stop, you can no longer be who you are, you're a never-was similar to Cul from the Thor comics. Absolutely buckshit wild stuff here. This suggests to survive, someone has to remember you, which may be a way through if there's space where you still exist while you don't exist. How does time work in your universe? What's the standards here for how to change existence? Is there a ripple effect, or is it impossible to change the timeline? Are you forced into an alternate universe where you DID exist, and how is the other guy handling the obvious issue that if you never existed, he would never have gone back to erase you, and shit— we've got either a figure eight loop forcing us to repeat these two states of 0 and 1 endlessly, or a paradox.
So go for the throat, make them explain the paradox. Make them fix the paradox, which can paradoxically never be fixed because that's what them boyes do. You might have to live one step ahead of them in only alternating universes for the rest of existence and be satisfied with that. Or, I suppose, find someone bigger and stronger than old Jokey-poo here who is putting you in the un-birth grave, and have them de-powered or something to end the rigamarole. Maybe you have a good trap for them set-up where the state of your birth is a fixed point, and them entering it makes time stop entirely so they can never reach the point at which they actually delete you.
But this is all just Watsonian fuckery, stuff from within the perspective of the story. If you go Doyalist, we can ask the question "What kills a vampire?" and come up with the answer "Whatever satisfies the narrative." because those blood thirsty bitches be fictional. This is all fictional. You are imagining a story. The only truth of a story is the satisfaction of those who write/read it.
Therefore, if you are happy with the end of your character, and you feel like it's been given weight and meaning, and you like the outcome. You win, you finished the story, they are gone.
If you are unhappy, you can make up whatever bullshit you want because it's all in your head anyways, and suddenly your character survived going over the falls due to some vague handwaved plot point far in the misty difference that is really an in-universe cover to 'they made me write Sherlock after the Reichenbach Falls was supposed to be the end of the damn serial'. It all comes down to what you're happy with as a player and a writer.
You think any Shonen writer had the good sense to end their series after the bad guy seemed all-powerful? Absolutely not, these other guys had trickery and even more power beyond the power that is infinite power to call on, and they sure did win because they said so. Same thing here. As long as no one is upset, you can do whatever you want. "Blue fairy said I could come back." "Some Boundless Character found me beyond the universes and pulled me back into this world." Seriously, make shit up, it's all you've been doing anyways.
I recognize at this point it's more of a thought experiment, kind of a highbrow push against the mundane realities of our existence. It's where philosophy meets story. Making something that really sticks to the bones of your story, and gives you something to work off can be a huge ask when it gets to these extremes. You're working with a framework outside our actual existence, a thing we can comprehend only because we've pushed so hard against the limitations of this world we've given concepts like infinity not only a limit, but a word for when that limit is breached and repeated.
Being able to truly understand what you're asking, and whether there's any rules to it is more than a simple roleplay help blog can give you. You're bending rules that aren't even confirmed to exist, that have been developed to create a framework by which people can enjoy fighting tiers to simplify things that are wildly imaginative and unusual. Certainly you are at the moment asking me if I can conceive of a situation in which literally Death themself, if they were a character, could be erased from existence by something just as powerful or even more powerful than themselves, and then get around that somehow. It's mythical. It's entirely a toy that you, yourself, are defining the rules for play with. I can simply say "this Roleplaying Blog is actually a Boundless level character and has rebuffed that attack" and it would be equally true because the canon of this blog now says so.
So you can do whatever works for you.
Just make sure it's satisfying, so you can do it again next week and relish it all over. The point of RP is to be fun. Keep having fun. You do you, in whatever style makes you happy. Even if it's a lot of math and now I know there's a term for approaching the infinity after Real numbers run out of integers because someone made their character so powerful they ran out of numbers for them and somehow this is the same power level as Those Who Sit Above In Shadow, which means Loki's punked their ass plenty of times in-comics by saying he's the Storyteller who tells them into existence anyways. God damn Beyonder ass...
But you're the Storyteller now, so write something true to your heart, and see how far you can take it. See if your character can manage to break reality one more time, and level up to becoming Boundless themselves. You have the power, because that power is imagination. The true Boundless power.
Ah, the old blank screen stare. So, for the most part I consider this issue to be several intersecting problems at the same time. Usually a lack of motivation indicates a.) a lack of fun/enjoyment, b.) low/no expectation of reward, or c.) fear or apprehension. Let's explore that under the cut.
When you are roleplaying and you're not enjoying yourself explicitly, if the journey to a finished post is not fun itself, we're kind of fucking ourselves over. Creation of these words, excitement at turning a phrase or approaching an idea you really want to explore is basically the whole gist of it. It is a hobby, and loving what you write and laughing at your own jokes is important! You are your own first audience, and if you're not impressed or pleased with what you're writing, it becomes an endless Sisyphean task where you unhappily struggle to write something, anything, to just get through it.
In this case it may be a lack of inspiration. With no structure, or core, we can really easily lose sight of what kind of play we're looking for. What are your goals? Are you here for plot, or character? For smut, or a quick playful bit of banter? Do you want to fight, or are you reaching for some overarching thing? Hell, do you know where THIS scene is headed, or does it feel like an endless trudge? These ideals disappearing or falling to the wayside for someone else can really fuck the vibe!
How are you supposed to know what to write, if you don't have any plans for the character, or don't know where they might potentially go? Like it doesn't have to be hard and fast, but understanding your characters own personal goals, fears, joys, and secrets (entirely different to you, the player) can help with motivation in writing them. I like to explore these by playing games with myself, and daydreaming about scenarios and possibilities that aren't "canon" to my character, but just let me know more about them if a similar situation were to come up. Having a library chock-full of potential what-ifs can help a ton in figuring out how to approach any actions or direction a partner may push you towards. Be excited to explore your character, and to show them off to others! This journey is soooo important to love for itself!
Like with any piece of art, not enjoying the process is a quick short-cut to burn-out and misery. So, if this is happening you might want to adjust some things if you're sitting there upset and bored instead of enjoying what should be a fun pastime you can lose yourself in! So instead of beating yourself up about posting, figure out why it's a chore. Are you taking care of yourself? Have you met the S.H.R.E.K. criteria for the day? Is this post not something in your wheelhouse, or do you feel like you could be doing something else and getting more fun out of it?
Before I get ahead of myself, let me address the truly horrific acronym I just threw at you. S.H.R.E.K. criteria? Who would inflict this on you? Well... me, because it's so memetic and stupid I remember it way better than most acronyms, so buckle up buttercup. It stands for:
Socialization: Have you talked to someone or had meaningful interactions with others for the day? Depending on your needs, you may need hugs, touching others, chatting with loved ones, or cuddling. Some people literally need to be touched, held, hugged, and talked with the thrive, and others can do just fine with a little less. Listen to the monkey studies: Don't be a wire mother to yourself, let yourself have cloth mother sometimes.
Hydration: Have you been drinking enough liquids to be hydrated and keep your piss from being too yellow? No liquids means your body starts sucking at everything from getting oxygen to the brain, to making food into energy. Make sure you balance hydration with salt and food intake, but never underestimate what a good cold cup of something can do. And yes, any liquid works. Coffee is dehydrating, so is soda, but their hydrating effect is way bigger than how often they make you piddle so it balances out. Still, water is best but don't beat yourself up about it.
Rest: Have you slept enough in the last 24 hours? I know you think 4-6 is okay, but it's really not, it will actually cause you to behave like an alcoholic and lead to later insomnia, mental issue worsening, and health problems like heart issues. Nip that in the bud, sleep full 8-10 hour nights. Or nap if you're just sleepy!
Eat: Have you shoved nutritious food in your gob or are you dying from scurvy, beri-beri, and malnutrition simultaneously while depriving the lil dudes who help you write a good lunch? Don't starve your lil neuron folks, they need a good meal too. Even if it's just ingredients for a meal, anything is better than nothing and you deserve food.
Kinetics: Have you moved around? Stretched? Walked or played? Sometimes if you're starting out from zero, you might try just standing up and sitting down a couple times to help get bloodflow going! Getting active at whatever level you're at is good for the brain.
Anyways after that interlude, back to basics. At the lowest tier we want to be having fun. If we're not, it might be us, or it might be a boring lackluster partner. That's where a lack of reward comes in. If the partner is, bless them and their hard work, just not giving you the thrills to pay the dopamine bills? That just might mean you guys aren't a good match! This is not the end of the world, it just means you might need to stop playing with them.
Step back, consider if roleplaying with their style and output is worth your time and effort, and do BOTH of you a favor if they aren't. Set them free to play with other players who love their writing and can't get enough of it, and stop grating your teeth across cement trying to come up with something to keep things you don't even like going. This is the communication part, remember how I used to harp on that? Well old Uragani still thinks it's super important. So discuss that 'hey, we might not be a great fit for writing together' and come up with solutions. Maybe finding new partners, and just staying friends, or just waving goodbye to each other and hitting the road.
Here we find ourselves looking at challenger #3, the good old fear and apprehension. This comes up more than I'd like to admit. Are you worried about what's happening next? Or how you might portray something? Have you worked yourself up too much, and now you feel like you can never meet your own expectations? Are you scared of letting down a partner, and not giving them your best? Do you feel like your post might go over an unwritten line, and leave people upset with you?
Congrats! I hate that shit too! I do not know why brains do this to us! I would like to sue!
Anxiety is a hell of a beast, so is Impostor Syndrome, and fear of letting people down, and all the other fun goodies in that bag. They can be worked on at home, in small doses. You gotta learn to sit back, and be able to talk to yourself. Why are you feeling this way, and finding the name for your emotional state, accepting it, and letting it pass through can help. In major situations, you might need to find yourself a good old Common Sense Dispenser, better known as a therapist. They have the tools you need, and yes, roleplay can be a play you find out what you need. It's not dumb, it's useful.
Working through this can be as simple as discussing your fears with your partner and making sure everything is kosher. It might need you to look at a worst case scenario and then planning an exit strategy for that, even if it never happens. Sometimes, you just gotta heft yourself up, and push through the fear. There's a million ways to get through it, and I'm not the person who can tell you which will work for you. But I can tell you, it gets better the longer you work with it. Confidence comes from experience, the more you work at it, the more it feels like second nature.
But that brings with it the last beast, the hidden #4. Burn-out. Sometimes, when we delve too deeply into something we love, we ignore the signs of burn-out. Losing interest in things we once deeply enjoyed. Feeling exhausted at the thought of starting a post, or writing anything. Feeling like we've lost touch with what we used to be good at. Burn out can be a miserable thing, because it stand between us and our goals, our happiness, and it keeps them behind the thickest glass, so we can see them, but getting them feels impossible. The harder we push, the thicker the glass becomes.
In cases of burn out, like the kind I've experienced, sometimes you need to take a step back and just do something else. Go on hiatus. Maybe it's hooked to a character, and you simply have to play with some other muse. Maybe it's with another player, and finding a new fandom without them in it can help. Maybe it's with writing at large, and you need to go find some other outlet to explore while this one heals. You cannot do the same thing forever, you will lose touch with what makes it special. Believe me.
But after healing, which can take years if you keep pushing it like some idiot who wrote RPedia long after you should stop, it'll be fun again. You'll want to come back, and do the thing you were good at, and loved again. The spark will return, and things just... settle and feel better. I promise. Just let yourself have that time to recover without pushing yourself somewhere you aren't meant to go right now.
Naturally there's other stuff too. ADHD/Autism/other issues could be throwing the executive dysfunction ball into your lap and suddenly doing the thing you've done a thousand times is impossible. Stars aren't in alignment. Maybe you're stressed out because of an external force and need a break. Maybe the thread you're in has been going on too long in the same scene, and you need to cut and start a "fresh episode" before everything stays stale forever. Maybe you just aren't in the mood! There's a million reasons, but all of them come down to figuring out what the problem is, and engaging with ways to break that problem down into bits. Find your fun. Look for partners who make you feel like writing with them is worth it. Work with your fears, and express yourself about them and let them past through you. Find external help if needed, and take care of your body while you're at it.
And hey, remember, I am not the end all be all of advice. It could totally be something outside of these circumstances, but I'd like to think that in my experience these are the major factors that I keep coming across. If any of this has been a help, I can only be happy to have said it. Thank you so much for reading!
I've been reading some of your old stuff lately and a question has come to mind. What inspired you to start this whole blog?
Okay yes, folks are asking if I’m still alive. I haven’t really been active on Tumblr since 2017, there was some weird stuff going down in my life, whoops. But, I will respond to this! For no particular reason at all, except I guess to let you guys also know I sorta moved on. Still, I always have this in the back of my head as something I’d like to pick back up someday, but haven’t frankly gotten control of my life enough to do so. Plus Tumblr kinda, you know... did the thing. Anyways.
I built this blog because I have been RPing since 1996. I was eight years old, and I started out on Yahoo. This gave me a unique perspective: The first internet browser was in 1993. Google was created in 1998. I have been actively RPing online since before Google existed. I still RP in public chat rooms every day, shepherding newbies and exploring plots. This means I have seen... a lot. I’ve been through a lot. I watched internet communities form, I helped build some of them, I’ve moderated rooms and sites, and worked hard to keep it fair and teach others. Since I have a tendency to want to help, I made help profiles, things to make it easier for people to create their worlds. I answered questions. I answered a lot of questions.
... I answered the same questions about 30 times in a row, and it was just about time to write down a final form of my answer so next time someone asked I could just link a web page. So, I made a Tumblr in 2011, and started keeping a catalog of things I’ve answered in chatrooms when asked. Tried to make a best practices kinda thing people could at least reference. But I’m still pretty mouthy, so I decided to make it fit me. No shine, no polish, just spitting my opinions into the void and hoping someone could find a little help, maybe a tidbit that makes them realize something. I know a lot of my posts are a little oof nowadays, it was ten years ago, but I’m glad I see people still getting some use out of them by taking me with a grain of salt, as always.
So, that’s the simple answer. I got tired of repeating myself. After that, I decided for every person who asked, 10 more probably didn’t know they could, or hadn’t thought about it. If I helped a couple people here and there over time, then by god that’s what I wanted to do. So, I posted, and it turned out a lot of people could use a lot of help and I’m happy to give it.
And then I got flooded with questions, went through a rough patch in my life, sunk down into mental health issues, couldn’t sit down and write posts that were “good enough”, Tumblr decided to change and everyone swore they were leaving in protest, and... I stopped posting. But I know this place helped people, so I’m staying by my promise. I don’t delete any posts I haven’t tagged “tobedeleted”. I also hope maybe I’ll be in a place, emotionally/mentally/physically where I can answer more stuff in the future.
Thank you so much to all of you who’ve read this, who’ve liked it, who still follow me even though this blog is super dead for the time being. You made me into something good, someone who tries to RP and be good to others and understand them as much as myself, and I appreciate that.
In lieu of updates for the time being, I’ll leave you with this: Keep roleplaying, keep having fun, and keep being the best you can be to other people. Keep growing! There’s always somewhere to go from here, even if you can’t see it. Thank you for still being here. 💕
Okay so this is going to be a stupidly basic question, so bear with me, but how do I start rping my OC on tumblr? Do I make an account or blog dedicated to them? And how do I actually find people to rp with? It all seems very complicated!
Not actually that rare a question though! Check out my sidebar. We have How to start RPing and How to RP on Tumblr guides right there for ya, along with all sorts of good stuff.
Anonymous asked: soo i love shipping and my rp partner and i ship a lot with our muses. but theres one thing that bothers me. i feel like once two muses end up in a ship they sort of lose their personality (or their drive) and begin to revolve around their romance only. how can i keep the spark that my muses had before and still let them have a healthy romance with another muse?
So, the shortest answer is: Work on roleplaying the character as an active, living, intelligent person with a life and interests, and not just a tool to get romantic with. When you limit your character to their slowly growing adoration for another person, or incomplete without them, or needing them for everything, and don’t go outside that box ending up just thinking of ways to be romantic? Not only do you drive your RP into a rut, but you stop playing a “character” and start playing a “goal”. This can undermine not only plot, but believablity and characterization.
Let’s rant under the cut like I usually do shall we?
So this peeves me sometimes because I’ve seen it before. A perfectly good player will see a character they want to ship with, and all characterization goes out the window. They’ll hang on to brief remnants, personality is personality after all, but what they want to happen goes before everything else. They’ll disregard their character’s typical lack of interest to make them ‘suddenly really notice them as if for the first time’. Even over long term, where it’s a casual build, you’ll see characterization go to the wayside. Some of it is forgivable, we’re all idiots when in love, and so the characters too will change and may not see everything that is happening to them. Some of it, such as going fully against the grain for that oh so hoped for romance, is bad. That’s not the character having a crush, that’s you.
Remind yourself occasionally what the character’s goals are, their real goals, not the ones that come from romance or while seeking romance. Is your character even the type to focus on romance at all? Many characters are more interested in saving the world, dealing with their issues, and generally being way more out there. Even shoujo ai cutesy romances give the character something they genuinely want outside of The One. Look at, lord help me for returning to my past, Ouran Host Club. Haru might be the definitive harem owner with boys boys boys galore, but their goals are to get money to pay off debts, and have some fun while doing schoolwork. Mostly schoolwork. Also to keep the boys out of trouble. Sure there’s romance, and lots of of it, but it’s not the primary focus. It happens as an aside to whatever plot is going on. Because plot is important even in a romantic harem comedy. Same for Love Hina, gotta get into college and save the onsen! Same for Tenshi Muyo, gotta do something about those aliens and their problems!
You appear to be aware of this issue though, you’re not slipping away willingly. That’s good, that means you want more than hand holding and blushing for 20 paragraphs a night. You’re able to see them losing their selves in this romance, and you want to stop it. So, encourage your characters to be themselves. Make them set goals, and follow through. Push crisis into your lives. It doesn’t have to be oh god I’m pregnant and have 3 jobs and a monster is eating me from the inside of my brain. Just minor-crisis. Wanting to do something the partner doesn’t, like move or go to school again. Working out schedules. Facing the monster they’ve been avoiding. Whatever you need. Don’t start arguments for the sake of arguments, that’s kind of more of a drama queen thing, but do see if this is what your character would have wanted. What are they ignoring to live this pleasant little domesticity?
Characters with strong opinions, or goals, don’t need fake drama to start shit. They just come with them as they go. A 3D character has all sorts of things you can use for plot. Families, history, dealing with personal growth, garden variety emotional/mental issues like fears and upset, the more advanced stuff-- but honestly characters generally need the basics of living too. Food, water, shelter, relationships both romantic and platonic, hobbies, a job to pay for all this, something intellectually stimulating to relieve boredom. These things help build your character. Did their friend’s cat have kittens, and they had to stay up all night helping? Does that make them irritated, or maybe they need food now? It can still be romantic for their SO to like, get them a homecooked meal, or take them out to eat, but there’s more than that. You can be social and talk about your lives, your pasts, and everything as you grow and develop.
You aren’t RPing with the one person constantly either. Sometimes your character and their character aren’t interacting during your real life sojourns. Use the time away effectively. When you start a new ‘episode’ to your roleplay, give them time spent apart. Then fill that time with stuff they’re excited about. Let the character get excited and share their adventures. When you’re RPing with another person, as a friendship or an enemy, talk about that too. Let them grow outside of RP as much as inside it. Spread your RP social networking so you’re not relying on exactly one person. Hell, bring in NPCs if you have to. Write soliloquies. That means, write whole stories about that character behind the scenes so to speak. Solo adventures that you can post without them being part of any given thread. (In a chatroom, you can just wander around doing shit you wanna do and make new friends when they get interested.) It’s big in both roleplaying AND fanfics to have some alone/other people time or you’ll burn out on them. Same thing with real relationships. You cannot put your life and attention on a single person for extended periods of time, not even a couple people. You need to have a big, complex, varied network to help support you mentally or you’ll become codependant and every little relationship shift will scare the shit out of you. It’s extremely unhealthy not to have casual acquaintances and friendships that you can chat with outside of a relationship. Or just in general. Shit man, fixating is bad jumbles all around, it all goes to shit really really fast and your brain starts saying that even people you would never normally date are THE ONE and every sigh is THE END. So don’t do this to an RP character/partner either, it ain’t bueno.
Think about real relationships. When I think of dating someone, I do not think of snuggly cuddly kiss kissies 24/7. I think about them leaving the bathroom door open and screamsinging that they’re taking a poop to annoy me because they know I have a term paper due and I’m stressing out about it and laughing will help. I think about staying up way past my bedtime writing, with their head in my lap snoozing badly and complaining about the light and the typing noises. I think about someone eating my last slice of pizza, but making up for it with a whole new pie. I think about sitting in the same room, 10 feet apart, half watching the same TV show while online and sending each other memes and waiting for them to open it so you can see them light up and shriek. I think of cold feet in the middle of the night. I think about them leaving to go to work, or hang out with friends while I kick back at home working on a project, only for them to come home and tell me what a great time they had and being happy for them while they relate new stories to me. Or them going to live with their mom for a week and stretching out on the couch like, hells yeah, I own the TV!
Romance is cute, but a relationship should be built on a strong friendship. A strong friendship has healthy boundaries, and allows both people in the relationship to remain their selves without major (and likely dysfunctional) changes to their behavior and personality. It’s a comfortable equilibrium where two people share their own lives to make a giant life together, rather than just make one life that they’ve got to start over from scratch together. There’s gonna be pet peeves, and minor disagreements, and discussions over upcoming changes. There’s going to be bad days, where nothing seems to go right and you want to scream. There’s going to be sick days, and thunder storms to scare someone, and decisions about what pets to get. There’s time apart, and time doing the things YOU love, whether or not THEY love it.
And, right, of course, we’re also all playing anime characters, superheroes, androids/robots, sentient monsters, supernatural things, and humanized fucking playing cards or something so probably all the weird shit inclusive to their respective regions too. Like supervillain duties, and werewolves shedding on the couch, and undoing the spell that caused the crystal heart that wards off the darkness to turn to coal before the giant angry dog-spiders invade and carry off someone’s best friend to hell to raise her as their queen. You know. Normal stuff.
What does M!A mean when it’s on a role play account? I’ve only ever seen it as ‘M!A - None’ on people’s accounts, so I’ve unfortunately never seen an example of what it could be. Also, what does P.I. mean when it’s on a role play account, too? I actually have an idea of what this one means, since it’s usually ‘P.I. of (insert character here),’ but what does the acronym mean, specifically? Sorry for asking two questions in one, and thank you in advance. :)
Quick answer here, and gosh yes everyone I’m alive, I’ve just been dealing with the whole-- life thing that came up. Who knew? You can find M!A answers here. And P.I. I-- have no clue actually. Probably has to do with the player behind the character somehow, anyone want to answer this in a response?
Because babies don’t have fully formed brains? Seriously though, like, no one is born knowing everything. You get smart over time by dealing with experiences, and understanding your abilities and flaws, yet working around them anyways. Don’t be down on yourself, everyone you know is in a constant state of growth, and after every new experience teaches them something their old actions may seem silly. You’re not stupid. You might not feel smart right now though. Go learn stuff about what made you feel stupid. Next time it happens, you’ll know more about it! You’ll have a fresh, new, delicious, informed chance to get better! We learn from mistakes, not perfection. If you never make a mistake, you’ll never figure out another way to do something that could be even better. If you never misunderstand something, you’ll never think about it in a new light. Your brain is built to make mistakes, because it makes us better in the long run. We grow every time someone does something different than they “should” and everyone around them learns from their mistakes too. We’re a vast hivemind of accumulated experiences! And we write them down so more people can learn from them! Humans are awesome like that. You weren’t born stupid. You were born with infinite unique potential, and a blank slate to fill with experiences, both good and bad. Go fill up the tank and keep truckin’.
Anonymous asked: Why do people, when you approach them about being interested in romance/shipping between your characters, say they "don't ship their character with anyone" or that they "like to watch how things unfold through writing" then proceed to ship their character with someone else's or basically never offer to write/take you up on your offers to write? This happens to me about 95% of the time whenever I ask someone if we can BUILD towards romance, and I'm really getting tired.
You’re not going to like this answer. Right out of the box, I’m going to tell you, this is not the answer you’ll like. Because I’m not going to side with you.
There’s a pretty good chance they simply don’t want to play with you, and they’re being polite. They’re trying to avoid outright conflict by not just telling you they don’t appreciate how you RP your character, have no chemistry with them, write badly, or are in general a personality they don’t want to play with, ever. There is something, a tiny yellow flag perhaps, that is making them side-step your roleplay. There may even simply be a lack of chemistry, which other people give them and that’s why they end up with the plot filling out in someone else’s favor. Just because they’re RPing with you doesn’t mean they stop RPing with other people.
Why can’t they be an adult and just say that then?!
They might not even realize it.
A lot of people play from the gut, and when their gut says something is wrong it may not always take the direct route to their brain and present it prettily in an understandable package. They may want to play things out and see, hey, what’s this weird feeling that says if I jump in I might regret it? Why do I feel so flighty around this person? Since you yourself say it happens “95%” of the time? I’m gonna say that the issue is something small about you, or your approach. Even if you don’t want it to be, even if it hurts, even if that makes you feel like a bad person. It’s hard to pinpoint why someone makes you uncomfortable, so they probably can’t even explain. It may not even be an actual thing about you, it might just be a vibe you give off. So you might just have to enjoy that 5% you still get and accept that something off is just natural. You can’t be everyone’s dream, and if your personality or roleplaying style have a few rough edges? It limits who fits perfectly with you. And that’s their choice. Can’t force it.
Reading your question? I get some vibes. From what I’m reading you almost feel entitled to their roleplay. From what you said, them letting you down lightly by saying “I don’t really ship” to deter you from RPing with them by removing your goal, hasn’t stopped you from asking them to RP all the time. Somehow you’ve also decided to police them about who they are roleplaying with, and for some reason expect them not to roleplay with other people if they aren’t playing with you (why else would you be offended when they do?) You’re watching them RP, getting mad, and then sulking it’s not with you. Enough to write to a help blog to ask how to get people to RP with you specifically, which they seem to be perfectly happy not doing for some reason.
That’s... possessive behavior. That’s kind of aggressive, and domineering. It shows a tendency to micromanage. This is great when dealing with things like math, where 1+1 always equal 2. This is terrible with emotions, where ‘I’m not feeling it’ could be anything from a bad day, to lackluster chemistry slowly rotting your RP from the inside. Getting upset about a delicate arrangement of emotions, inspiration, story, chemistry, and timing is not going to be beneficial to your health or temper. Roleplaying is fun. If you’re not having fun, roleplaying may not be for you. That’s okay, do something else. I always suggest writing stories when things aren’t going well, you can control everything and no one will ever reject you. You don’t have to worry about anyone else. Just writing.
Here’s some various reasons they may be avoiding you, which will be for just about anyone who finds themselves as a loss for good roleplay. I’ll hit topics relating directly to this ask, as well as general guidelines for ‘Why does no one wanna RP with me???’
So out the gate, they know what you want. By asking them for a pairing when there’s no build up, you make it clear you just want to ship. That everything you play will be focused on getting the characters together. That the ultimate goal has already been established. For many people, that takes half the fun out of it. For everyone else? They know your end game, and they said no. You’ve already lost points to them, personally, for aiming for that with no lead up or development between your characters in the first place. You’re being the guy who walks up and says “Hey baby, date me,” as a hello. Ain’t nobody gonna go for that. It’s not attractive. It’s just presumptuous. Okay, some people go for that, it’s got some kinda aggressive honesty to it and some kids will do anything for a ship. Not everyone though, especially if they have other routes to the ye olde RP. If you can afford to be picky, be picky. Unfortunately, the picky has sorted you out. Only option now is to keep fishing for RP, and maybe just see where things go with the next person instead of laying it all out there.
A second common thing is they may have seen your RP, and aren’t particularly impressed. Can’t win ‘em all. This is a neutral bad outcome. Your chemistry is particularly unique, and people aren’t excited by your writing style, or how you developed your character. Something about what you’re doing, or how you’re roleplaying, is not attractive to the people you want to play with. You’ve missed the mark, and that’s okay. Writing style changes all the time. You might not play that character forever. Maybe you’ll nab someone’s attention later on with what you’ve got. Lotta fish in the sea, but not all of them take the same bait. It is normally kinda hard to catch a good roleplayer in your net. I can add a few more puns here, but then I’d sea myself as a dumb-bass.
A...ahem. So another thing, people pick up on that subtle entitlement. It feels like someone who is gonna be more trouble for them than they’re worth. Bossy, controlling, and very forward. They’ll ask for RP, then start asking about when, where, pushing their partner ahead of them towards the goal. They’ll all but ask for a schedule for events, or when you plan to RP with them and get upset if you change your mind or your mood dies. They want you to focus on them, and only them. They’ll ask about your friends, who you RP with, really casually. They’ll monitor their RP with you, and then ask why you haven’t done the same amount, or same kinds of RP with them. They get controlling. If you’ve been around a while, you can spot someone like this from a distance from them being fussy, or guilting your for attention. Don’t be that person, ever. You’ll drive off everyone.
I really would never roleplay with someone like that. Ever. Look, if you need scheduling and solid points in advance, you’re going to find a very select number of people who also feel that way. It’s a niche, not an everyone thing. Since roleplay is for fun for many people, people don’t schedule fun! They like spontaneity, and doing what they feel like at any given time. I myself will flatly dip if I feel an obligation to give you what you want that outranks my own enjoyment. If I sign in for you more than me? It’s not fun, I’m out. I make that very clear in my OOC too, so it’s not me springing it on people. That’s just how the cookie crumbles.
Another problem that happens, ganking right from your question, is people do play things out. They’ll start roleplaying, and find something they like, and keep at it. If they’re roleplaying with a lot of people, your personal storyline with them may not be the winner. This is essentially dating. You get caught in a tiny spaceship (a roleplaying room or group) and you get to know your ship mates (roleplay non-romantic scenes with them). Over time you find chemistry with someone (roleplay is easy and comfortable), and start dating (their storyline progresses with you, and changes how you interact with others). What happens to the other crewmates who had a crush (who were RPing and felt chemistry but did not arrive at the same point)? Simple, they keep going with their lives.
They most certainly don’t stalk people to check if they’re RPing with someone else. I need to be clear, that is immediately gross to me because it’s an abusive mindset. That you should be given the right of way, and if you’re not good enough other people can’t be either. That’s not healthy. That’s not good. Do not do this!!!!!! Add in more exclamation marks as needed to make this point stick! Don’t stalk people, wow! This is exactly the kind of creepy ‘watched’ feeling that makes people not RP with you! This is an unreasonable standard! This is you not caring if they’re having more fun with someone else and developing something they like, because you didn’t get it! No! Bad! Stop! You need to reel back on this need to win, buddy. It ain’t a competition. Well, it sort of is, but it’s not an important one that you should skulk in the background monitoring after you aren’t in the race anymore!
There is something out there called exclusivity. This is when two consenting writers choose to close their storyline to other people, and plan only to RP with one another romantically, or in some cases, at all. A clause mentioning you’re looking for this in one of the two forms in your OOC section will have some effects. One? People who are into this kind of closed door policy will seek you out. They will find it comfortable to be listed on each other’s profiles, and love the idea of your world revolving around them as much as theirs revolves around you. Two? It’ll scare absolutely everyone else off up front, and the ‘round about’ dismissal you’re getting will decrease by a lot because they’ll be able to put a finger on why they’re creeped out. It’s nice to know what’s coming.
There’s also the usual issues, since this is for everyone and not just this one guy: your English sucks, your characterization is ‘flawed’ in overarching opinion, you’re not selling your posts, you have some weird quirk, or you’re just not appealing. We can fix these.
English? There’s worksheets online for a simple Google. Play school with yourself, and monitor what you’re saying. Make and effort, and people can tell even if you aren’t perfect. Ask some close friends to point out flaws, and make edit suggestions as you talk to them. “But this isn’t high school, why do I have to write right?” Because the more you write well, the better you’ll get into the habit of writing well all the time. If you’re a lazy sod, then by all means be a lazy sod. Just know it’s not gonna make you well-liked, you’ll be looked down on much of the time, and you won’t get as much RP as your normally would. You get to pick your actions! I’ll never force you to change! The thing is you also pick your consequences, and it’s up to you to shoulder them.
Characterization! Okay look, you can write your character any way you want. This is like, RP law. You and you alone control them. But like I said above, you cannot control the reactions and enjoyment of others in relation to what you’re doing. Whatever choices you make are going to have repercussions. They will influence how people react to you and your character. If your character is not what people expect from canon, or from your description of your OC, it can be a jarring experience. They lose faith in how you do things. Loss of faith means they may wander off and you lose out on RP. Sorry, that’s how the cookie crumbles. Try re-engaging with the media the character comes from, even if that means rewriting your OC’s profiles and backstories. Explain your choices. If it’s “because I just wanna lol” and it’s an extreme change that really, really, really needs an explanation? You better be making that change so interesting, awesome, and enjoyable that people are attracted to it and what it represents. If you don’t make it engaging for other roleplayers, you don’t get RP. Simple.
Not selling your posts? This is a little more complex. You can have all the technical ability in the world, and write absolutely flawless prose with every word in the right spot, and every comma flowing. You can do all this, and yet still be writing dead words. Look, you people engage with this blog for one reason: when I write, I grab your attention. I may not be goshdangdiddly perfect, but if you read me regularly it’s because it connects to you. It makes things digestible. Reading a technical manuscript tends to lose a lot of this quirky personality. I’m going to be fair and point out this is why I got a lower grade in some classes in college, I can’t write with that abstract lack of feeling that makes writing look professional. It’s not in my wheelhouse. So yes! There’s places where you can write very seriously and do great. Roleplay is not one of them.
When you roleplay, you are writing for a rich, full, unique character you developed. Yes, even canons have development! You grabbed them, lifted them out of the story, and now use your understanding of that story to present them and that understanding to others. When I read something, say a character saying they couldn’t sleep after an event, I could read it as them worrying about it, and why it happened. Someone else could read guilt into it, that they feel responsible. A third person considers it part of their headcanon that they never sleep well anyways, and they just felt comfortable enough in this situation to admit it. Since your view hinges on your experiences and understanding, it’s up to you to make other people understand your point of view. They don’t need to agree, in all cases, but they need to believe it’s possible. You need to write as rich, full, and uniquely as you see your character being. Bring their quirks, ideas, memories, and responses to life.
That’s where selling it comes in. If you never tell people about why a character does something, they won’t feel engaged. They won’t feel like you understand your character. Lacking a voice for the character can make them feel flat. Empty. If they aren’t involved in what’s going on, if their response is from a stock photo gallery, if they just aren’t ‘in the moment’ and reacting in a way that gains attention? It’s not really fun. Sorry. Like, you need to give people a way to interact. This can be actually interacting, or just like TV lets us interact. By yelling, “COME ON. DON’T GO IN THE SERIAL KILLER’S HOUSE, STOP--” even if it doesn’t do anything.
Weird quirks? Boy, okay, okay, some people got weird shit they do in RP. Like, there is some shit out there you would not believe. I had this one person who would regularly swap characters in the middle of their paragraph and have literally nothing telling you it happened. I’ve had people who use emoticons in super serious prose. Folks who actually use the old fashioned (A/N: Author’s Note in the middle of posts.)
Quirks are fine. They are! But not everyone is going to have the patience to ignore them, or even the child-like glee that lets them enjoy it. It may not even be a massive quirk. Maybe you just like to talk about your character’s physique. How muscular their arms are, how their abs ripple. There’s definitely people who are going to lean in and love that, because they get to imagine that sexy character flexing. Some people are going to be completely turned off by it. You can’t really predict that, so be yourself, but accept that others may lean towards a different style over yours.
Not appealing? Here’s the hard one. Maybe you’re just not their type. It’s not a quirk, or unusual thing you do. It’s not a lack of engagement. Your character is fleshed out, and well done. You write well, you’re cheerful and kind. There’s nothing outwardly upsetting. The only thing going on is: you don’t mesh. Your personalities are too different. Your goals are incompatible. You just don’t zing. Shame, but there’s no fix to this. The only thing you can do is keep looking for more players. Thankfully, there’s always more players. Heck, even old rejections can evolve over time. They might grow up in 2-3 years into someone entirely different and you work together flawlessly. Until then, put a lid on it. It’s fine. Let it cook. Do something else.
As they say, you can do everything right and still fail. This isn’t always a reflection on you when someone doesn’t want to play, or when they avoid play, or even when circumstances just don’t take them in a direction that allows them to play with you. Rejection, misunderstandings, a lack of connection, losing partners, missing the ship on others? It’s all a normal part of roleplaying. It’s a constantly evolving mesh of humanity that sometimes interfaces with each other. If you feel like that’s too much to handle, it’s okay. Roleplay isn’t for everyone. Not everyone has the temperament. Not everyone has the patience. Not everyone even has the unique flair needed to catch attention. But dear lord, if this is true of you, do not take it out on other people. Just do something else. It’s healthier.
I hope you can figure out what’s going on and I’m completely wrong. I hope you settle down with a lovely player, and you were just having a streak of bad luck and needed to vent. I hope if not the above, you can see where my assertions based on what you sent miiiiight just be spooking people and reel it in. I hope that everything works out, and you have a ton of fun. Good luck.
Edit 2/2/2018: Hoo boy a couple folks are pissed I read this question the way I did. When I see a “majority of the time” causing them issues, I assumed this question was why they were being avoided all the time not what people meant by simple statements. Most folks pissed by this read are reading it “why did someone say they want to grow their RP?” Completely different questions, hence the summary title. The question they’re reading has a damned simple answer. They want to fucking grow their RP. Ta da! Magical. But that isn’t what the post was boiled down to for me, and since the answer on that hand is more obvious than a zit on your nose the day before prom, hardly what I’m going to get into.
No fucking duh some people mean what they say. In fact this route of organic RP is popular, I do this too! I’m not saying you can’t want just what you say. I’m saying “hey if you get this problem in such high rates you feel something is wrong and you need help, here’s some shit I read into your tone and small details you added, and how to fix those if they happen to apply.” But then, most folks being mad also say they didn’t read the whole thing, which of course means they’re not exactly informed of what I did say. Surprise I did also cover this. Oh well.
As an aside, so folks know how I assume the same anon felt in response to me suggesting they needed to fix a few things, or had a vibe that I picked up... Seems like it was helpful! So, chillax. They’re a good peep, and they probably hella did not meant to give the tone I got, and that folks might be picking up if I did. So now their RP life will probably be more awesome if they’re aware. I’m super glad.
Anonymous said to rpedia:
Thank you for your response to "Why Do People Avoid RPing With Me?" Your insight gave me much needed perspective, and I now know what to work on with myself.
Anonymous asked said: Minor PSA: when you and your partner agree to do a crossover to something your partner explicitly told you they know nothing about, you're kind of supposed to fill in the details. Don't just describe the Dwarven castle as "the Dwarven castle." What am I supposed to do with that? Knock on the door? Oh, there's a moat. Thanks for clearing that up. It's so frustrating to have to flail about and try to play along! Make it easy to participate or you're really just writing a private fanfiction.
I like this. I can see where it may apply and questions it’ll bring up though... LET’S EXPAND ON THIS. I’m gonna rub my greasy little fingers all over your very decent PSA and help ya’ll add a little Dungeon Master to your roleplaying flair, so everyone can be on the same footing. This is, for example, very useful for super hyper-intelligent characters who are supposed to pick up on everything, or psychics and dieties and-- whatever let’s go play.
So... When roleplaying with someone, part of your job is to illustrate what is going on. If there’s complexities at work that can’t be guessed and are important to what is going on? Not only will you benefit, but your partner will benefit from you detailing those things. This goes for any roleplay. Don’t just say simple facts, and phrases that don’t add anything to the environment, especially in situations where one character is known for their observation skills.
I used to play Sherlock for instance. A post telling me that a character had clues on them with no description of those clues? Fucked me over. I’m sorry, I might be playing a psychic or extremely observational character, but I’m not gonna magically guess what you the player are doing out of character. I’m a mere mortal. So when that person detailed the hems covered in mud on their fancy khakis where mud had no business being? Yeah, that gave Sherlock a hint they were mucking about in fancy clothing, which means they didn’t plan whatever they were up to.
When you’re playing with someone it pays to add details because they can play OFF those details. You pour tea, sure okay. You pour tea into fine bone china with blue patterns, your hand shaking, and offer it with a tremulous smile, eyes darting back and forth to catch any hint of disapproval? I’m gonna have more to work off. Even if my character is happy and content, or blind to what’s going on, as a player I can comment on how oblivious they are, how they haven’t caught on. Maybe mention their mother had similar china, or the blue reminds them of the ocean, which then leads to them blurting out some random thought about it.
Then of course, the original PSA. When someone has no fucking clue what’s going on, it pays to spit out loads of information. Just frontload ‘em, drawn them in details. We are writing together, which means that unlike speaking, the words are not lost forever after they’re mentioned. They exist in logs, and we can scroll up and read or check things for future posts. So, don’t leave someone hanging, blind, lost and alone in a world that they know nothing about. Feel free to feed information about oh... dwarves hanging outside smoking thin pipes stuffed with plant-based charcoal with fossilized resin for flavor. Mention that this mine is much smaller than the one renowned for 50 flavors of such ancient resin, and it’s imported on the big old wagons seen near the foreign wood portcullis leading over the moat. The stones themselves are perfectly fitted, nothing could go between them, not even a rat’s whisker, how they were clearly hand mined anyways from local rock. Limestone to be exact, which meant these dwarves were some volcanic ash away from cement.
Y’see how quickly someone learns facts through description? You just listened to me ramble about ideas, but you picked up on things. You learned about their society, that they hang out and socialize outside. You learned their level of technology, and have in mind a genuine castle. You have an idea of how widespread their culture is, and important things they can trade in. In fact, you’ve learned that they don’t handle wood themselves, by the look of things. They have it shipped in from far away. You even learned that, because there’s limestone, this castle and mine are close to an underground water source or river. You know. If you google “where is limestone found” anyways, or know it off the top of your head.
This is important for all sorts of shit. At the same time, it pushes you to research what you’re doing. The healer character is fixing a toothache, well how did people do that? You google, find out they chewed whole cloves to numb the area through the powerful oils. Say clove, and your partner knows the smell from baking. They know the taste is strong, and can react with a wince before it starts numbing the area. Your partner can talk about using it to cook, or bitch about the little spiky flower heads looking like they belong in potpourri and not their mouths.
Knowing the little details also makes your writing look more real towards other people, which in turn helps them play their best. So yes! Elaborate! Explain how your character’s facial expressions are moving so they can pick it up, explain where their hands are, what tools their using, what their surroundings are. It’s super helpful! I’ll thank you a thousand times over for explaining how your weapon works in a fight so I can understand the process of disarming, avoiding, or reacting to being hit with it. I’m blessed when a partner goes out of their way to talk about why and how something is effecting them. Mental status, world status, environment. So please, this PSA is a good PSA, listen to them.
