Eru's hellhouse!?

𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 ¹9 ᴅᴇᴍɪᴀʀᴏᴀᴄᴇ

[rroru]

I’m the flavor of autism where I have lists of everything.

I don’t know if that’s a popular flavor? But that’s just what mine tastes like.

[rroru]

As an autistic individual, I was aware that I have had meltdowns before. However, I doubted my autism for 2/3rds of the time since I found out, so I never recognized consciously when I was having a meltdown. Nor were my big emotions labeled as “meltdowns”. (Even though they probably were).

I just had my first conscious meltdown and it was the worst and most freeing experience ever. I couldn’t blame it on anything else, I couldn’t rationalize or explain it any other way than an Autistic Meltdown and it made me feel so secure in my own body and mind.

[aromantic-diaries]

People act like there's an explicit line between friendship and romance like This is how Platonic Friends act and if two people act like That they are a Romantic Couple. Buddy I have crossed the line so far that it's actually surprising to me and it's still friendship

[rroru]

This lady stopped me while I was giving her order to her at work just to tell me I was really pretty. Context: I wear a hairnet, and I consider my hair to be a part of my charm, but she thought I was really pretty!? I'm foaming at the mouth. That happened almost 2 weeks ago and I'm still thinking about it.

[wherethenightspeaks]

[rroru]

I think about my future partner all the time. I don’t think about their gender or their sexuality. I think about how much I’ll love them and how much I’ll get love in return. I think about little “I love you’s” and “I miss you’s” I’ll read over text while I’m at work. I think about back hugs and massages while in the kitchen while one of us is cooking. I think about laughter and giggles in the living room while they make fun of the fact that I laugh during sad times in movies sometimes. I think about surprise pop-ups and shared lunch dates. I think about being so inseparable that even our friends notice. I think about introducing them to my mom, and my sister and them getting along because my family loves everyone. These thoughts keep me warm at night when I’m going to sleep alone. I long for someone to cuddle with. Someone who loves me.

[rroru]

Am I the only autistic person who feels like they need “permission” to do things? For example, at work when there’s a problem that needs to be solved. I’ve already solved it in my head, and I know the steps, but I don’t do it because I don’t think I have “permission”. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I DON’T NEED PERMISSION. Even the simplest thing like emptying the drain after someone washed the dishes… or even problems at home. I find myself saying “I didn’t know I was allowed to do that!”

Bro.

YOU DON’T NEED PERMISSION 💔💔

[rroru]

When did being so passionate about someone become a turn off??? Like baby, imma text you randomly and gush to you about how much I love you. I will watch things that I know you love, make you things, talk about you all the time like CMON. And like we don’t even have to be together for you to get that from me, I love my friends so hard. I will do all of those same things for you just because I love you so much, why is that a bad thing????

[rroru]

As an autistic person, I am terrified of my friends family. Just in general. That’s it. Just horrifically afraid.

[and-fishing-equipment]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[rroru]

No one can be in the kitchen if I was planning to be alone, I’m sorry. In that case, I’d go “I’ll just make it later” and walk out 😭🙏🏾

[grlify]

Update me, disturb me, tell me about your day, I love all that.

[pixelatedrotter-deactivated2025]

Boys that whine and whimper <3

[thatdollizzy]

shoutout to the girls who love so hard their souls hurt ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

[rroru]

Is it fucky to say I like my cat better when she’s in heat 😭 bro I swear she’s nicer to me, she lets me trim her nails without casting curses on me n shit, she cuddles with me like ??? I swear she’s Satan incarnate normally.

Update: SHE’S LICKING MY HAND RN LIKE COME ON

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

trying to hold back my UM, ACTUALLY autistic desire for technical correctness in casual conversation even though the thought of abiding something factually incorrect makes my skin crawl because most of the time it doesn’t actually matter and also it ruins the vibe

[rroru]

Everytime I come on here and I see a little notification no matter how small my heart flutters and my heart skips a beat and then I have a heart attack and end up in the hospital and eventually die 💕🥺

[rroru]

On one hand, being demi is so fucking annoying

- only being able to date my friends

- constantly hearing “Don’t date your best friend!!” 😐

- not dating your best friend actually being good advice and loose them

- being lonely and touched starved 24/7

- wanting a relationship but knowing all of the crazy steps that come with obtaining it

- giving up on ever finding love

and on the other hand being recipro + Demi + AuDHD is fucking awesome

- I am oblivious to subtle flirting or even in general

- being able to make friends and not have to worry about crushing on them

- if crushing happens it’s THEIR fault because they have to feel it first.

- weirdly being able to tell when their feelings develop sometimes… (don’t ask me how that makes sense, I don’t know.)

- being able to just mind my business until someone likes me.