Ruang Rencana

Setiap ruang membutuhkan rencana

[ruangrencana]

Life is

Life is short and it’s fragile. Everything is falling into pieces. But those pieces are fitting into the exact places they need to be. And we don’t know how many birthday we have. We don’t have a birthday to celebrate, just celebrate life. It will be okay.

It will be okay.

[ruangrencana]

Dear me

Dear future me. 

I promise you 2023 would be your year. I know you have what it takes to build a life you can’t stop thinking about. You just have to believe it. Realize every to do list that you’ve made it up. 

We fall,  We rise, We make mistakes, We live, We learn, We are human,

Not perfect. But we could made it as our day by day.

[ruangrencana]

Dan setiap kesalahan di dalam hidup merupakan pembelajaran, bagi ia yang merefleksi dan merenungi diri. Berhenti untuk kembali mengawali.

Ruang Rencana

[ruangrencana]

Kenyataannya, aku masih saja keras pada diriku sendiri. Menyangkal segala kenyataan yang tak seindah dan tak selaras hati. Tetap berlari, meskipun jiwa dan ragaku menyuruh berhenti.

Desember kali ini

[quotefeeling]

Always, always trust your first gut instincts. If you feel something’s wrong, it usually is.

Unknown (via quotefeeling)

It is what it is.

[michaelnordeman]

 Eurasian treecreeper/trädkrypare. Värmland, Sweden (January 8, 2022). 

[ruangrencana]

After Breakup

Falling in love presents very much like an addictive process. We have this drive to get that fix in the form of being around the person that we care about. And for being in love involves the same neural circuitry as a cocaine addiction. And then so for breakup, was a cocaine to withdrawl.

After the breakup, I felt physically ill, exhausted, and devastated. One of these particularly low moments, I scared myself into anger — at my ex, at myself, at this entire stupid situation. How dare he not fight harder for this relationship? How dare something end that was so promising and beautiful? But most importantly, how dare I behaving like my life was over because of something as trivial as a breakup? What had really happened here? I had lost a man, a friend, a partner, but I hadn’t lost myself, I thought myself.

I tried all sorts of things, from reconnecting with old friends to get off knocked my ex on every single social media channel imaginable.

The older we get, the more we realize that there are many things we cannot control in this world. That there are many experiences that we need to seek. That there are many values ​​that we need to explore. So that unhealthy patterns that we are not aware of, do not repeat, and do not happen again.

I have tried my best, within the limits of my knowledge of good things. That to be the best, sometimes we need to take a step back to understadn. That today, the lesson about loving and being loved, is about gain an acceptance and sincerity.

Thank you for the hurt that you made. 

I’ll go to moving foward with my goals then. 2022. Being more stronger than ever.

[20o1-deactivated20240129-deacti]

you deserve the same love, care and happiness that you wish for others

[quotefeeling]

When you’re struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it’s just as hard as what you’re going through.

Nicholas Sparks (via quotefeeling)

Three years ago, someone just told me seem like this. Indeed, thank you for remind me through the years.

[ruangrencana]

Perasaan

Perasaan itu seperti ombak di lautan. Terkadang ia seperti gelombang pasang, yang siap mengikis batuan karang dan menyapu daratan. Terkadang ia seperti aliran sungai yang menenangkan. Namun seringnya, ia seperti riak angin yang berdesir di atas permukaan, pelan tapi ringan. 

Tidak bisa kita paksakan.

Besok, bisa jadi perasaan itu tumbuh, dari segala ketidakmungkinan paling masuk akal. Begitu juga sebaliknya. Bisa jadi perasan itu hilang, tanpa kita perkirakan. Mudah bagi-Nya untuk mencabut dan memberikan karunia tersebut kepada kita. Seperti halnya udara yang kau genggam. Ia ada, tetapi kasat pandang. Hanya dapat kau hirup dan kau rasakan. Demikian perasaan yang hidup di dalam dirimu hingga hari ini.

Namun, seringkali kita gagal menerjemahkan maksud Tuhan, mengapa ia menjatuhkan perasaan itu, di dalam diri seseorang. Dan kita selalu gagal memastikan, darimana semuanya ini berawal. Karena perihal perasaan, sepenuhnya adalah kendali Tuhan. Dan yang acapkali, kita seringkali gagal merawatnya. Merawat perasaan kita sendiri. 

[ruangrencana]

Bertahan

Sampai di titik ini, kita telah sama-sama berusaha. Mengatur segala perencanaan, agar tetap bergerak pada kurva tujuan. Berdamai dengan keinginan dan harapan, agar tidak mudah membuahkan angan-angan. Berdamai dengan pikiran dan perasaan, agar lebih bijak memutuskan.

Sampai di titik ini, kita telah berusaha. Meyakinkan diri, pada hal-hal yang memerlukan keajaiban Tuhan, untuk merealisasikan. Berdamai dengan waktu, agar tidak ada penyesalan pada setiap keputusan dan penantian. Menerima segala keadaan yang tidak mudah, dan sering sekali berubah. Menerima segala kekurangan dan ketidakpastian, yang pada akhirnya membuat kita perlu memecut diri, untuk keluar dari zona nyaman. 

Bertahan pada pekerjaan yang tidak kita inginkan? Bertahan pada upah atau bayaran yang tidak sesuai? Bertahan pada kebijakan yang tak membawa dampak signifikan dan kebajikan? Bertahan pada sebuah hubungan yang tidak lagi berjalan? Bertahan pada penyangkalan-penyangkalan untuk mencari pembenaran? Bertahan pada situasi dan transaksi, yang tidak lagi berfungsi seimbang?

Hanya demi kata “bertahan”, hanya karena minimnya pilihan yang menguntungkan. Atau bahkan sama sekali tidak ada pilihan.

Entah.

Sampai di titik ini, aku sendiri tidak benar-benar memahami, apa arti kata “bertahan”. Mengapa kita tidak cukup berani untuk beranjak darinya? meskipun terbuka banyak sekali jalan, kesempatan, dan peluang?

[ruangrencana]

Meet me where the sky touches the sea. where the end begins, in echois. Where your world is me, and then so my world is you.

herlovingsoul

[20o1-deactivated20240129-deacti]

you deserve to be loved without having to hide parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.

[ruangrencana]

Loss and Grief

There is no manual on how to cope with loss and grief. Certainly, there is no wrong or right way, about to go through the stages of grief that might be come from it. 

In our heart, we all know that death is a part of life. In fact, death gives meaning to our existence because it reminds us how precious life is.-MHAN

The loss of a loved one is life's most stressful event and can cause a major emotional crisis. After the death of someone you love, you experience bereavement, which literally means "to be deprived by death."  When a death takes place, you may experience a wide range of emotions, even when the death is expected. Many people report feeling an initial stage of numbness after first learning of a death, but there is no real order to the grieving process.

It is not easy to cope after a loved one dies. You will mourn and grieve. Mourning is the natural process you go through to accept a major loss. Mourning may include religious traditions honoring the dead or gathering with friends and family to share your loss. Mourning is personal and may last months or years. Especially for children, who have been experienced about it at this time period of pandemic Covid-19.

Children who experience a major loss may grieve differently than adults. A parent's death can be particularly difficult for small children, affecting their sense of security or survival. Often, they are confused about the changes they see taking place around them, particularly if well-meaning adults try to protect them from the truth or from their surviving parent's display of grief.

Healing from a loss is possible, but it does take time and patience. Even if you’re having a particularly hard time with it, resources like counseling and support groups can help you cope. 

Remember, with support, patience and effort, you will survive grief. Some day the pain will lessen, leaving you with cherished memories of your loved one.

[ruangrencana]

Seiring

Seiring dengan perjalanan hidup, kitapun mengumpulkan banyak cerita, pengalaman, dan perjalanan. Layaknya sebuah barang, seluruh kumpulan cerita itu, memiliki masa kadaluarsanya. Layaknya sebuah buku, seluruh pengalaman itu, memiliki urutan halaman, sesuai bab per sub-babnya. Layaknya sebuah ruang, seluruh perjalanan itu memiliki jarak, untuk dapat menata kembali, setiap letak sesuai tempatnya.

Ya, begitulah kita, yang pernah memberikan arti pada setiap cerita, pengalaman, dan perjalanan tersebut. Kita yang pernah memberikan arti, kepada setiap orang yang hadir di dalam kehidupan kita. Kita yang pernah memberikan arti, kepada setiap tempat yang kita kunjungi sebelumnya. Kita yang pernah memberikan arti, kepada benda-benda, yang menemani kita, dengan seluruh kenangan bersamanya. Kita yang pernah memberikan arti, kepada setiap waktu, saat kita memulai dan mengakhiri epsiodenya.

Ya, begitulah kita, yang pernah memberi dan menjadi arti, bagi setiap ruang bertumbuh dan setiap ruang rencana diri kita. Kepada apa dan siapa, yang pernah menjadi bagian dari, pembelajaran dan pendewasaan kita. 

Terimakasih.

Kini, sudah saatnya menata dan melapangkan ruang tersebut, untuk cerita perjalanan berikutnya. 

They have no meaning whatsoever. Only we give meaning to them, as the things that oftentimes, came from our expressions of our own individuality. We live our memories life in that moment.

[quotefeeling]

Some people are born with tornados in their lives, but constellations in their eyes. Other people are born with stars at their feet, but their souls are lost at sea.

Perspectives, Nikita Gill (via quotefeeling)

[ruangrencana]

Child-Free Marriage (1) point of view

Recently, there has been a lot of discussion about child-free marriage. Some people ask my opinions about this. Disclaimer, that my statement isn’t meant for anything. I just trying to express my point of view about this, as a woman in general.

Things that need to be considered, before we go far to discussing it, is about take a whole understanding about the topic. We need taking, a point of view about it, from our emphatic perspective we used to. We should put our respect on behind people story, who choose their best way, to be a child-free marriage survivor. We should to appreciate it and respect their choice and decision to be made. For we don’t know about how important it is, the personal state that they have been made, which can save for them and every human in this world. 

They just seek and stand for the human right, which we can’t interfere with. That is fair, no excuses. 

I think, when people ask somebody about their personal life’s affairs as: why they don’t have children, why they don’t go for marriage, why they don’t pursue their dream job, and anything about their own business which was not compatible with their believe system, that’s so disrespectful. 

I know that is hard for our collectivist society, for not get used to taking care of people’s own business. So, it will be very difficult for some people in general, who have their own way aspiration, to defied the cultural norms. It might be impossible to breakdown the values.  All the way they can do is, adjusting their believe system to be accepted, by not compromisingly their own needs, and be still allowing those society values to be remain.

No matter, what comes out of their mouth, their reaction about it. The thing is some people are happy enough by their own choice to be happy, while our society feels different. That is a necessity. 

Cont. Part 1.

Jakarta, 11 August 2021.