you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons

i’m rex, aka stergeon. call me what you like but i’m a dyke. i shitpost (mostly about elfs) here, make art (also mostly about elfs) over here, and write about sad lesbians on ao3.

[spooky-fubuki]

[vee-dmsr]

[lizardho]

I like that when I sent this to my wife I later knew she had read it because I came into the room and her face was in her hands

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[jenheadjen-deactivated20240221]

Reverse Air Bud movie about a human basketball player who, on a technicality, enters and wins the westminster dog show

[arturigon]

swinging a wicked blade feels so good without a beast in your ear saying you kill with too much earnest

[rslashrats]

[sandmandaddy69]

[n0stalgos]

There is not even time for a quick jerk off

[stupidthreehousesedits]

[peachdelta]

the phrase "fujoshi ramona flowers" entered my brain suddenly and i cant stop laughing at it

[peachdelta]

[nohoperadio]

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

[hellagross]

[drerahv]

[flopstat]

i think abt anne rice’s answer to “what are your work habits for a novel?” probably every single day

[flopstat]

[crazy-brazilian]

[wienners]

please tell me you guys know what im talking about 

[men-iss-vess-ull-deactivated202]

"a genus of new world pigs" sounds like something rage against the machine might call the american capitalist class. but in fact it refers to the humble javelina

[humansoflatecapitalism]