Embracing The Cringe, Reclaiming The Joy

Marisa 💕 31 💜 she/her 💙 I have no control over what media will grab me by the neck next

[running-tweezers]

💖I’m Marisa. I’m 31. I’m cringe and I’m free.💖

Stuff to know:

🩷 I was on tumblr 10 years ago, until I had to leave bc it was ruining my mental health in a big, tangible way.

💜 I am only back now because I’ve grown a lot and want to embrace the joy I felt in fandom before it all went to hell for me

💙 Bc of this, I curate my time here very carefully. I do not engage in fandom discourse. I try to keep it positive around here. And I appreciate those who help me keep it that way.

🩵 Anything NSFW I post will be tagged as such, if you’re a minor pls don’t interact, thanks

The Fun Stuff:

🩷 I post mostly about Redacted Audios. But you can count on some Drawfee, D&D, musical theater, and my own personal stuff thrown in as well. (Also I guess we’re adding Six of Crows now, idk how this happened but the heart wants what it wants)

💜 I love the DAMN crew with my whole heart and soul

💙 I’m really normal about Damien/Huxley. It’s like they were made to be My Personal Favorite Ship. Erik Redacted stood at his cauldron, threw in every character trait and ship trope I’ve ever loved, spoke a magic incantation that was just my full legal name, and Damien/Huxley popped out. They’re everything to me.

🩵 Also Milo Greer owns my ass, I love a short king, I married one irl.

Stuff I Do:

🩷 I write a lot with my OCs and am trying to get back into fanfic. Marisa Writes Masterpost. My ao3 is here. #marisa writes

💜 I made Redacted Audios cross stitch/embroidery patterns, and I’m working on stitching them. I’m also working on a huge temperature cross stitch for 2024. #marisa stitches

💙 I sing sometimes. On occasion I do Redacted Theater Kid Thursdays where I sing musical theater songs for different Redacted characters. #marisa sings

🩵 I made a whole annotated playlist about Damien/Huxley’s pre-relationship pining. It’s my magnum opus. My blorbo manifesto. I’m very proud of it.

💚 I have a few Redacted As Tiktok Comps on my YouTube. May or may not make more, but I love them.

[running-tweezers]

GUESS WHAT PARTY PEOPLE

[running-tweezers]

Ok I will not lie, seeing the fandom that Ruined My Life being revived has a part of me feeling like I’m beating a zombie back with a baseball bat. Stay Dead. Back to the grave from whence you came, demon.

[running-tweezers]

Goddammit, time to leave tumblr until I can get my hands on the novella bc I am trying to avoid spoilers like a jewel thief trying to navigate the laser maze security system and brother I am not that flexible.

[running-tweezers]

I gave Two Different Bookstores my info to contact me when they have copies of A Darker Shore available. Neither have called me yet. They both said they’d have them yesterday. The only explanation is that they hate me personally.

[b33tl3b0y]

homunculus let out into the yard for a few minutes of recreational getting thrown from the roof time

[orion-lake]

KAZ BREKKER, INEJ GHAFA AND JESPER FAHEY

[running-tweezers]

Sometimes depression looks like not getting out of bed for 3 days.

But sometimes depression also looks like staring at a wall deep in thought about how hopeless it all is while Uptown Girl plays in your headphones.

Ask me how I know lol

[running-tweezers]

Real cool how this is the week where a book I’ve been excited about for over half a year comes out.

And my brain came in and said “oh…. Yeah this would be a really bad time to make it so you’re unable to feel joy, wouldn’t it?? This would be a really shit time to believe that everything sucks, nothings worth it, and you’re a useless piece of shit with no life huh?? Damn. Sorry about that” and did it anyway.

[running-tweezers]

Really fucking cool that a random defect in my heart at birth is now forcing me to completely Rawdog Life without the medication that would probably improve my quality of living. Really fucking cool when I think about it too long

[rowlfthedog]

In a nonexistent perfect world, there is an 80s version of The Muppets Wizard of Oz, where the gang finally meet the wizard. And instead of “pay no mind to the man behind the curtain”- Toto knocks over a table in front of A Wizard Of Oz Muppet Head who bellows PAY NO MIND TO THE MAN BENEATH THE CAMERA!!! And it’s revealed that the wizard was Jim the whole time. And he’s like “im so sorry but i’m just an entertainer you guys are gonna have to go kill the witch on your own. you should probably hurry because there’s only 30 minutes left in the runtime.” I just think that would be funny.

[lightning-system]

Kaz and Inej Sharing a Bed

Kaz and Inej who don't get over their traumas overnight.

Kaz and Inej where instead of pushing themselves to panic attacks and worse every single day, they adapt, they adjust, they get creative.

Kaz who sleeps on the side of the bed against the wall because the wall keeps him safe and ensures no one can touch him from one side.

Inej who sleeps on the open side of the bed makes for easy escapes where she can slip away if need be, and never feel like she is being trapped.

Kaz and Inej with separate comforters that if they're feeling particularly bold they can double up and share because the cold creeps in everywhere in Ketterdam.

Inej who sleeps with her hair in a bun so it never touches Kaz even though her hair doesn't usually bother him.

Inej who sleeps with her hair in a bun because it's hardest to grab that way, and gives her a feeling of control in the night.

Kaz who has a pair of lighter gloves he wears to sleep that are softer and more flexible so he doesn't have to touch anything.

Kaz who has a pair of lighter, softer gloves, so he can brush up against Inej with care without leather trapping a chill that wakes her.

Kaz and Inej eventually getting their own place with separate rooms.

Kaz's room which is used for sleeping together most of the time, but Inej can always excuse herself when she needs her space, and Kaz can always speak up when he needs his.

Kaz and Inej who have different pillows and switch those pillows when they love the idea of the other being near each other but can't physically manage it.

Kaz and Inej working through their trauma rather than against it and healing in their own ways and time.

[desolationlesbian]

I don't want to buy mass-produced garbage from a big box store so I go to etsy but half of etsy is now dropshipped mass-produced garbage or AI slop so I go to the local arts and crafts street market but a ton of those booths are also selling the same generic plastic objects or identical stickers or 3D printed dragons so WHERE do I buy real trinkets and art from sincere freaks

[brehaaorgana]

Greatest hits of FIFA cultural exchanges thus far:

Learning about flyovers and pyrotechnics at American games being a thing

Non-americans discovering the size of American football stadiums....for high schools in texas. Also the size of our stadiums in general.

Going to baseball games as a side treat! Lmao.

Non-americans losing their minds over "like, 100 petrol pumps," at buc-ees.

Related: Americans often forget how huge target and Walmart is.

People discovering American BBQ

Non-americans being obsessed with mid American restaurant chains like Golden Corral and Taco Bell

A lot of them really did feel god in this chile's apparently

The rightful obsession with waffle house

New understanding of American Big Drink With Ice supremacy as summer creeps in

Begrudging acceptance of mandatory water breaks during games

Americans realizing we have a Team USA and we are not, in fact, just "hosting our friends" from around the world — mostly because we won our first match and our team is decent??? Not amazing but not the worst.

Side rant: us women's football team is legendary good and we should care about that more like. Hello???

Admitting Americans are right about air conditioning

Related: the english team did warm ups in Florida RIP, and also the there's a video of the French team just being like fuck the heat, fuck the sun, this is so hot...

Americans who do not normally care about international football but fucking love a sport and cheering so we're just hyping whatever team is nearby, like we see a party and just show up and learn the chant. Like sorry many of us don't know shit about soccer but if we see a bunch of people in viking helmets or kilts or holding a bunch of flags and cheering we're game.

TAILGATING!!!!

I already said this but American yellow school bus is an international celebrity

The Scottish drank Boston dry of beer apparently, like they quadrupled what Boston normally sells for fourth of July weekend. SAM ADAMS HAD TO GET AN EMERGENCY BEER DELIVERY.

Also the English team fans got kicked out of The Londoner pub in Dallas after drinking 5,000 beers and going over max capacity lmao

Free refill drinks, tortilla chips & salsa.

So many non-americans are going to be here for the 4th of July for our 250th anniversary which is going to be great and hilarious

Non-americans discovering ranch as a beloved condiment

Non-americans understanding American obsession with hamburger now

Japan's homebase is in Texas and the cultural differences are frankly great and also the Japanese fans are SO NICE and helped clean up the stadium after a match???

All the short videos with the eagle screech (which I think is actually a hawk but whatever)

[amxrderofcrows]

“damn his lips are gorgeous… wait SHIT HE’S GONNA KILL ME”

[running-tweezers]

I just heard the song and it brought up a memory of that time when I was just starting high school at my tiny TINY rural Texas school, and for some reason they added a “Music History” class, (I think so people could fit a fine arts credit into their schedule. Never have been sure). I ended up in it. Along with a few (and I mean A FEW) other students.

At the end of the year, just as a fun final project for us, the teacher gave us the assignment to pick a “one hit wonder” and do research on the song and artist and present it to the class.

One of the girls in the class was an exchange student from Germany. She heard that assignment, and she knew what she had to do.

I will never forget her passionate presentation to a class of 6 other people about Nena’s 99 Luftballoons. In which she put the German lyrics next to the lyrics from the English version and went through, line by line, to tell us how much the English version sucked in comparison. She got an A.

I don’t even remember her name. But I think of her every time I hear that song. What an absolute legend. I hope she’s doing well out there.

[unicorngunter]

Nina using her creepy powers to entertain the cat