Looking for trouble

01-1991 (you do the math). Queer, non binary, ace /autochorisexual Troubleseeker on AO3 and _troubleseeker on twitter. Prompts all open!! Art, fic, short or long, HIT ME!! Oh boy smexy = nsfw tag

[ryugarika]

SEIZED IS BACK

(and there was much rejoicing )

The plan is to post a chapter every two weeks.

The first 10 chapters are done, so we have at least 20 weeks of food 😎 and I am indeed continuing to write.

[velvetvexations]

"this so-called transwoman only transitioned to have sex with lesbians!"

good for her I hope it works and transitioning fulfills her goal of getting laid

[dogspouse]

her 🤝 me transitioning to have sex with gay men

[dogpuppy]

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice

[draconym]

As someone who goes outside a lot at work, I am often ensorcelled by fancy gear. I love insulated metal bottles and backpacks with five hundred pockets and a sternum strap. I snatch them up when I find them in thrift stores and on freecycle.

However: mad respect to my coworker who has been using these as his backpack and water bottle for years:

[autistobrat]

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

[hils79]

I am deleting this app off my phone

[russianblush]

oh my for 1221 thigh fuck … holy fuck ilya already had lube, right, because he was #hopeful and he presses all up along shane's back and slicks up his fingers and teases him open, saying 'this is how we'd do it' and shane is so fucking overcome with how Full he feels he is just moaning imagining how much bigger ilya's cock is gonna be, and once he's good and loose ilya withdraws his fingers and gets into position and shane has a slash of apprehension through him because wait he said- and then ilya is pushing his legs together and his breath is hot on shane's neck as his cock slides through, and ohmygod it's wet and shane is involuntarily clenching his thighs tighter and ilya is groaning and biting down on shane's shoulder to muffle it and his thrusts are steady and harsh and his cock head is brushing against shane's open hole and his head feels fuzzy and he opens his mouth to say fuckit rozanov just put it in but then ilya's fingers are in his mouth and shane didn't realize he was moaning that loud and his legs are flexing together and ilya is murmuring 'so tight for me, do you think your ass will just as tight?' and then his hand wraps around shane's cock and shane comes immediately. and then of course ilya comes too and it splatters all across shane's ass and thighs and lands in his back dimples and shane can't get to the shower quick enough to wash away the mess and the deep yawning terrifying want in him that he makes ilya chase his hole for 2 years

shane being so buzzy over the head of ilya’s cock pressing against him that he genuinely is begging for it YUPPPPPPPP. this is also furthering the agenda of shane being so horny for the just the tip stuff ilya likes to play around with sometimes because it brings him back to moments like this

[hothockey]

what's important to remember about the 'we didn't even kiss' unsent text is that shane is not mad at ILYA about the sex they had. he leapt readily into the sex, slutty arch that ensnared millions on display etc.

no, shane's in the elevator, biting his lips red, wishing it was ilya's spit he was tasting and he is mad at HIMSELF for wanting to be kissed, for wanting MORE and recognizes (by ilya setting the tone of the sex as competitive -- not personal, by his own estimation of their relationship) that what sex they SHOULD/MUST be having according to the twin torture nexus is not sex where they kiss each other like they need each other's mouth to breathe. 'we didn't even kiss' is 'i, shane hollander, once again want something i cannot have, because that is what i do, lug around a want so ugly and so loud and so mighty that i fear people can read it at a glance across 200 ft of cold, powdery ice.'

[needyilyarights]

I like to think there was some account that was making those imagine type posts like people did for one direction and Ilya loved sending them to Shane to annoy him

Like: “imagine you can’t swim and someone pushes you into a pool so Shane dives in to rescue you” and it’s the gif of him from the wet tee shirt photo shoot and Ilya is like would u save me Hollander and Shane is like no I’d be the one pushing you

Or like “outfit for when Shane invites you to his cottage” and it’s like galaxy leggings, a metros tee shirt, and uggs and Ilya is like “ok Shane I have my packing list ready do u want to see”

[lexicanons]

Married Hollanov decided to do an ad campaign together and they chose Peloton to be the first one. They sit down with the Peloton team and they’re throwing out ideas for the commercial when Ilya cuts in with an idea of his own. As Ilya talks, Shane realizes Ilya is describing the night in the gym all those years ago. The Peloton people love it. They’ll need to work in some other aspects but they go with Ilya’s general idea. The commercial comes out and it opens up on a shot of Shane pedaling on the bike. Ilya joins him a moment later, not before running his hand along Shane’s lower back. They pedal hard on their respective bikes. That turns into running on a treadmill which turns into shadow boxing which turns into other exercises to show off all of the Peloton features before they end up on the floor facing each other, sharing a water bottle and smiling at each other as the Peloton label fills the screen. Shane and Ilya watch the commercial and then decide to read the comments:

‘I didn’t know Peloton was a porn company now’

‘So if I get a Peloton I’ll get a hot husband? He’ll just appear beside me?’

‘You ever look at two people and just know they’re freaks?’

‘Did you see how Ilya mouthed ‘more’ to Shane when he was drinking??’

‘The hand on Shane’s back, helping him stretch during the Yoga part, oh I know Ilya tore Shane up after that shoot.’

[cranberry-branflakes]

which heart did you get when you liked this post?

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Remaining time: 4 days 6 hours

when reblogging, please add the pride tags I've included! if not, anybody liking your reblog will only see regular tumblr hearts :)

[shamebats]

Has the trans community not suffered enough

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This phrase has already entered my vocabulary re: media criticism where like. The viewer has a concrete view of what they expect a story to be based on the tropes and cliches they're used to seeing together, and when that doesn't happen, they judge it as a failed depiction of what they assumed it was going to be instead of judging it as what it actually is.

"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?

"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?

"This feels like it's missing a conclusion! Like, the protagonist does bad stuff and because of a critical decision he makes as a result of his major character flaws, meets tragedy in the end! Where's the part where he learns better and brings is love back from the dead and becomes a good guy and gets a happy ending?": When does he steal the fucking bread??

[thetetra]

I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories

[excuse-me-thanks]

“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh

“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter

[apatheticfluorescence]

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

[headspace-hotel]

Shakespeare is like this

[insufferablepirate]

Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away

Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal

[buffyfknlo]

Communication is key

[girl-blorbo-polls]

is your girl blorbo queer at all?

- yes, explicitly in canon

- yes, implied in canon

- yes, in my headcanons

- no

-nuance ™️

Is your girl blorbo queer at all?

Yes, explicitly in canon

Yes, implied in canon

No

Nuance ™️

Remaining time: 3 days 21 hours